A/N: Hey, guys. I'm really sorry I haven't been updating but to be frank, I had terrible writers block. But now it's over and I'm back! Please review!

Chapter 16: Bulletproof Heart

Raegan's POV

Paul walked me up to the door, and we stood there, not really knowing what to say. "I had a great day today, Paulie." I said softly. He nodded furiously, a goofy grin on his face. "Me too!" he said excitedly. I blushed horrendously, unsure of what to say next. "W-Well, I should get inside, I'm sure Emily wants to hear about the doctor-"

Cutting me off midsentence, he leaned down and kissed me again. This kiss was very different from our first. Instead of desperation, frustration and impulse, this one was loving and slow. He pressed his hand against the small of my back, and cupped my face with his other hand. I could feel his smile against my lips, and I wrapped both of my arms around his neck as I tried to get closer. He finally released me, giving me one last peck on the lips. "I'll see you later, Raegan." he said with a smirk.

I was literally in some form of shock. My legs seemed unable to move, and my insides felt like jello. I waved weakly as he hopped back in his truck, and headed inside.

Aunt Emily sat in a chair in the kitchen, pretending to read a newspaper. "Oh, wow, Raegan, I didn't even hear you come in." she said, obviously lying. I rolled my eyes jokingly. "I know you saw, Aunt Emily." I said with a chuckle. "What? What are you talking about? I've just been here, reading the paper." She said, a smile threatening to escape. I crossed my arms over my chest. "The paper's upside down."

She blushed, and then after staring at me for 3 straight minutes, let out the most girlish squeal I've ever heard. "Aunt Emily!" I exclaimed, clasping my hands over my ears. She ran up to me and grabbed my hands, forcing me to jump and down with her. "EEEEEEP! PAUL KISSED YOU!" she screamed. I laughed despite myself, and found myself being excited with her. "So, was it good?" she asked. "Was what good?"

"The kiss, dammit!"

"Oh…well, yes, yes it was."

She quickly sat me down, ushering me to continue. "Tell me all about it. How did it happen?" she persisted. I rolled my eyes. "I told him, Aunt Emily."

"You…You told him about South Dakota?" she asked quietly. I nodded. "How did he take it?"

"He took it much better than I thought. I mean, he was upset and e-everything but he was there for me."

Emily squealed again, and ran to the fridge and took out a bucket of fudge ripple, my favorite flavor. Taking me by the hand, she dragged me to my room. "What are you doing?" I asked, chuckling. "We are having a GIRL'S NIGHT!" she exclaimed. She suddenly picked up the phone, and pressed it to her ear after dialing a number. "Kim? Hey, can you come over? Yeah, big news! What? Okay, awesome, see you in five!" she said with a huge grin. I pinched the bridge of my nose. What had I just gotten myself into?

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Kim came over shortly, fully equipped with what she called her 'estrogen basket', which was just a bag full of chocolate and Nicholas Sparks movies. Much to my horror, Aunt Emily and Kim forced me to spill every excruciating detail about my day, specifically the kiss. They made me sit through several chick flics, including 'The Notebook' and 'Mean Girls'. As much as I enjoyed them, I'd rather see something with a little more action, but my 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' vote was immediately dismissed.

After hours of hearing the two girls next to me squeal and sigh, Aunt Emily turned on the radio and 'Hey Mickey!' came on. Kim and Emily immediately got up, dancing terribly. Shaking my head, but a smile on my face nonetheless, I stayed in the bed. "Pretty please?" Kim pleaded, puppy eyes and all. "I refuse," I stated. My aunt rolled her eyes, and yanked me up by my hand. "Your dancing whether you like it or not!" she yelled, a giggle escaping her lips. I simply stayed still, my arms crossed over my chest. Kim and Emily grabbed both of my hands, forcing me to move.

Soon after, I couldn't help it, and I started to dance on my own. Almost every party/dance song came on. Aunt Emily and Kim made cat calls as I dance badly to whatever was playing. Suddenly, there was a knock on my bedroom window. I stopped spinning in circles and dizzily fell on my bed. Looking up, I saw…Paul?

Quickly collecting myself and tossing my hair out of my face, I opened the window with a goofy smile. I still felt lightheaded from all the dancing I had done, and the giggles coming from the girls didn't exactly help the situation. Paul raised an eyebrow at me, smirking. "Why the hell are you here?" Kim asked with a loud cackle, making Emily laugh along with her. "I was hoping I could speak to Raegan for a few minutes, if you don't mind, brace face." Paul retorted, his infamous smirk gracing his handsome features. Kim instantly shut up, only leaving Emily to keep laughing. I nodded my head furiously, and quickly slipped on my sweatshirt and boots.

Running out the front door, I scanned my surroundings for Paul. The brisk evening air was even colder than usual as winter approached, and a shiver went down my spine. "Paulie?" I called. No response. Much to my surprise, I felt two warm, strong arms wrap around my waist. I inhaled, ready to scream at the top of my lungs, when a huge hand clamped over my mouth. I spun around harshly, seeing Paul with an amused smile on his face, his eyebrow still raised. "Nice dance moves, Rae." He said with a chuckle. I blushed bright red. "You were watching me?!" I asked, eyes wide. He nodded happily. "What, you honestly think you and the girls are alone? Sam and Jared are wondering around here, too. I did tell you I would see you later." He said simply. I merely rolled my eyes. "So, what's up?"

"What, I can't just drop in to say hello?"

"I know you're here for a reason, Paul."

He pulled me behind the house, holding me close. "Your right, I did." He said with a shrug. He then pressed his warm, soft lips to mine. My eyes snapped shut, and I quickly reciprocated. God, he was such an amazing kisser. I mean, he was really the only person I'd ever kissed, willingly anyway. But he took my breath away. I moaned as he slid his tongue into my mouth, much to my embarrassment. The kiss began to get more heated, and he growled as he pushed me up against the side of the house, his hands raking up and down my waist. I pulled away, much to his disappointment. "What's wrong?" he asked me. I gulped, still breathing heavily from our make out session. "N-Nothing. I…I just have a question." I replied. He looked into my eyes, wanting for me to continue. "W-What…What are we? I mean, are we going out? Are we friends? I mean, I don't really u-understand…Everything is happening so fast…" I trailed off, unsure of what else to say. He looked at me with the biggest grin, and he laughed. I blushed, slight anger replacing my features. "I-It was just a question." I said quietly. He laughed again. A scowl made its way to my face, and he instantly sobered. "I'm sorry, Rae, but you're just so fucking cute." He said with a smile. I still wasn't happy. "I don't like it when you curse, Paul. And I'm serious." I stated confidently. His face grew stern, and he nodded. "Well, what do you want us to be?" he asked. My eyes widened, he was giving me the choice? "W-What?"

"What do you want us to be? It's all up to you, baby girl. All I ask is that you don't throw me back into the friend zone." He pleaded. I nodded, still trying to process this. I cleared my throat. "Well, I…I like you, you know that. And you like me-"

"I don't just like you, I love you."

"-So, um, I…I don't know." I mumbled. He gently jerked my chin up with his finger, forcing me to make eye contact. "Well, I know that I love you. And I don't want to see you with anyone else but me. Does that clarify anything?" he asked softly. I blinked in response. "Well, Raegan, will you go out with me?" he asked seriously.

I don't really know what came over me. I was never one for making bold moves, but in that moment, seeing him lick his lips nervously as he prepared to deal with rejection, it overwhelmed me. I grabbed his face with all my might and kissed him, giving him all the answers that he needed.

"I guess I'll take that as a yes."

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I walked back inside, my legs wobbly from the amazing kiss and shock from pulling such a move. Kim and Aunt Emily sat on my bed anxiously, looking at me with curiosity and impatience. "Well?" Kim said, not even waiting for me to shut my bedroom door. I blushed, rolling my eyes. "Geez, you guys are so nosy. Now neither of you get to find out." I said haughtily, my arms crossing my chest. However, I quickly caved in after seeing their puppy faces, and filled them in.

"Oh my God, Raegan! You've completely changed him." Aunt Emily said, staring at me in wonder. I shrugged, not completely sure what that meant. Kim snickered. "What?" I asked her. She laughed again. "Wait until Sarah finds out." she said, concern lacing her sarcastic words. My heart dropped, and I instantly paled. "Oh crap." I muttered. Kim patted me on the shoulder comfortingly.

The rest of the night we gossiped, read teen magazines, gorged ourselves on junk food, and finally watched Transformers, much to my delight. Despite the moans from the girls, I watched with anticipation and excitement as I saw Optimus Prime kick butt.

At around 12 am, Kim and Aunt Emily fell asleep, but I was still wide awake, thinking about Paul. How long had he liked me for? Would being in a relationship change how comfortable I was around him? As much as I liked him, I still wanted the friendship to be there. How many girls had he dated before he met me? Was…was he even a virgin?

Unable to fall asleep, I went to the bathroom to throw some water on my face. Sneaking out of the makeshift sleeping bag I made out of my comforter, I quietly tiptoed around Kim and my aunt, squeezing my eyes shut as I waited for one of them to suddenly wake up. I accidently stepped on Kim's mouth guard, which made me shiver in a whole new way when I noticed it was wet.

Ew.

Hoping Sam wouldn't hear me, I sprinted across the hallway and shut the bathroom door behind me, pressed against it as I sighed in relief. Who knew going to the bathroom was so stressful?

I turned the faucet on, lazily watching the water fill the sink, my chin resting on my hand. The thoughts coursing through my brain were severely stressing me out, and I didn't know how to confront any of these things since I had never been in a relationship before.

Suddenly, something caught the corner of my eye.

I turned around, my hands clenched tightly around the sink.

The shiny object sat there, silently mocking me as I observed its gleam against the fluorescent bathroom light. Taunting me with its silver blades, practically begging me to press the cold metal against my fragile skin. 'No, I can't.' I silently begged, recalling how Paul would look if he ever found out about my…habit…The expression of disappointment Sam and Aunt Emily would have, the anger Kim would hold. But it sat there, unmoving, not caring that I was facing an internal battle. 'Come on, only one time.' A voice said in my head, sounding cunning and wrong. I shook my head, pressing myself closer to the bathroom door. My gut was telling me to leave, forget about it, and go to sleep. 'Just this once, Raegan. You haven't cut in such a long time. One little cut, that's all. It won't kill you.' The voice mocked again. I pressed both of my hands against my mouth, trying to hold back the whimpers. 'Raegan, you keep forgetting. Not cutting won't make you any less broken. You will still be shattered inside; dirty. Whether you cut or not won't make a difference.' The voice teased.

I'm not sure what happened, but somehow, I recalled how Paul looked today when I told him about my past. The sadness in his eyes, how upset he was. Could I really put him through anything else? Did I have a heart?

Yes, yes I did. Angrily, I shut off the faucet, turned off the lights, and left the bathroom.