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I Can't Help It
For the last two months, Bette has been constantly traveling not only to New York but to other states. On her travels, she often meets a lot of women who are being introduced to her. These women are famous in the arts field, accomplished, attractive and wealthy. Her overall stature and personality usually draw women's interest in her. She exudes qualities that keep women wanting her, pursuing her. Most of them attempt to woo and entice her, but Bette loves Tina so much. She is standing by her promise that she's not going to cheat on her ever again. She wants to start a family with her. So no matter how interested these women are, Bette ignores their invitations and proposals. Neither does she keep it a secret from Tina. She tells her about the women who are trying to woo her.
Bette has been busy for the past few weeks. She's working hard at the CAC. Oftentimes, stressed out at the end of the day. Tina tries as much as she could to understand her. However, she's getting a little concerned because for the past few weeks, different women have been calling Bette on her phone for non-work related matters. Some of them just really want to talk to her. Aside from the constant calls, Bette is also receiving gifts from different women, sent either to her office or at home. Tina is aware of what's happening, causing her to get jealous.
One Saturday morning, while Bette and Tina are at home, Bette receives a call from Chelsea. Chelsea is a hot chic who tried wooing her when her relationship with Tina was on the rocks. She met her in New York. They lost contact when Bette decided to just ignore her, but a few weeks ago, they accidentally met in a restaurant in LA. Since then, they started communicating again. Chelsea knows that Bette and Tina have already reconciled so she's not wooing her anymore. But nonetheless, Chelsea wants to remain friends with Bette. Like Bette, Chelsea is also in the arts field and they have common interests. She's proposing a business which makes Bette interested and excited. Tina knows about their history.
As Bette's phone rings, Tina grabs it and looks on the screen. She sees Chelsea's name then smirks before handing the phone to Bette. She gives her a sullen glance. Bette ignores Tina and answers the phone.
Bette: Hi Chelsea! How are you?
Apparently, Bette is so enthusiastic and giggling while talking to Chelsea. They discuss about business matters and also some non-business related matters. From Bette's voice, Tina can tell that she's enjoying their conversation. They talk for more than an hour and Tina disapproves it. When Bette hangs up, she tries to tease her. She doesn't intend to pester Bette but for some reasons, Bette freaks out as if she's so defensive.
Tina: Wow, seems like you enjoyed so much talking to her.
Bette frowns and disagrees.
Bette: What are you talking about?
Tina: Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Bette: What, that I was flirting?! No, I wasn't flirting Tina! We were just talking about business, okay?
Tina: Why are you so defensive?
Bette responds in an irritated tone. Tina is calm, not trying to pick a fight with Bette.
Bette: Because you are insinuating Tina!
Tina: Well, wasn't it obvious?
Bette: You're absurd!
Bette walks away. Tina watches her walking to the dining area. Bette gets a fruit drink in the fridge as she tries to cool off. Meanwhile, Tina continues with her thing, fixing the curtains.
Several minutes later, when Bette is already calm, she walks to the living room and sits on the couch then reads some magazines. Tina is calm as she continues to organize some stuff in the living room. She initiates a conversation.
Tina: So what food are we preparing for our guests next weekend?
Bette: I don't know, you decide.
She's expressionless as she responds to Tina.
Tina: What if we just hire a caterer? Maybe it would be less hassle for us.
Bette continues to read and shows lack of interest on Tina's topic.
Tina: Or we can hire a chef to cook for us... It'd probably be good cuz in that way, we can still entertain our guests. What do you think?
She boringly answers.
Bette: It's up to you. Whatever you decide, I'm down with that.
Tina: What? You have no suggestions at all?
Bette doesn't respond.
Tina: So you're letting me decide on this alone?
She still ignores Tina's question but Tina is piqued by her unwillingness to talk about the house party. She then banters and gives her a silly smile.
Tina: Well how about if we invite Chelsea?
Bette: What?! Why is Chelsea in this conversation?!
Tina: Oh, I just thought you'll get interested if we include Chelsea. See?! You're interested now...
Bette: What?! You're ridiculous Tina!
Tina: Oh yeah...cuz a few minutes ago, you were so giddy while you were talking on the phone with her. And now that we're talking about something else, you suddenly lose interest. So maybe, bringing up Chelsea in our conversation would perk you up, huh?!
Bette is in disbelief of Tina's remarks. She furiously looks at her.
Bette: You know what Tina, you're becoming so irrational!
Tina: Why am I irrational? Did I say something wrong? I just stated facts.
Bette: You are unbelievable! For the past few days and weeks, you've been accusing me of flirting with anyone I talk to! Am I not allowed to talk and be friendly or accommodating to others?!
Tina: Hold up! I'm not accusing you!
Bette is furious. She looks intensely at Tina.
Bette: Then what are you doing?! Are these not accusations?!
Tina: And what are all these gifts that you're getting from these women?! What are these, huh?!
Bette: Well I have no control over that…
Tina: No control? You're right!
Bette: They're generous and they're just trying to be nice to me, okay?!
Tina: And send you grand gifts?! Is that just being nice to you, huh? Then what?!
Bette: What's that supposed to mean?!
Tina: I don't know! You tell me...
Bette is exasperated. She sighs as she continues to look intensely at her.
Bette: What are you implying Tina? That I am also flirting with these women? And that's why they're sending me these gifts? Why is it that every time I talk to someone, you always think I'm flirting? As if I want to fuck all of them!
Tina: Well, I didn't say or I didn't think you wanted to fuck them...
Bette: So what am I supposed to do, be rude to them?!
Tina: No! That's not what you should do Bette. Why don't you be frank to them and tell them to fuck off because you're not interested, and because you're no longer available?! Why do you need to entertain those non-work related conversations?! Why can't you tell them frankly that you are committed and have a partner, and that's me, huh?!
Bette: Of course they know! They know that we're together. I don't need to tell them about that.
Tina: And what do you want me to do? So you want me to just ignore and keep mum about all these gifts cuz they're just "being nice" to you?! If you were in my position, will you just ignore all of these without confronting me, huh?! Will you allow other women to woo me even if it's very clear that we're together? Huh, Bette? Will you?
Bette: Arrrrrrggghhhh! I give up! I'm tired!
Tina: Tired of what?!
Bette: You're so irritating!
Both of them are intense as they argue. Bette could not stand it; she's so upset. She walks away and gets her keys and quickly walks to her car.
Tina: Hey, don't you dare turn your back from me! Where are you going?!
She swiftly follows Bette to her car. Bette is quick, she's already inside the car. But Tina catches up. When Bette is about to close the car door, Tina suddenly holds and blocks it so Bette cannot close it. She looks at Tina angrily but she's not saying any word. She's still holding the car key.
Tina: You are not leaving! Get out of the car!
Bette: What?! So you're dictating me what to do now?!
Bette inserts the car key but she doesn't start the engine yet. Tina commandingly speaks.
Tina: You're not going to start that car! Get out of the car and go back inside the house! I'm telling you, you're not going to leave!
Tina is very furious as she raises her voice. Bette can see through Tina's eyes and face how intensely mad she is. She takes a deep breath and tries to gather herself as she sits back.
Tina: If you start that car and leave now, I swear Bette, you're not going to see me again, EVER! Once you leave here, right now, when you come back, I'm gone! I'm fucking dead serious! Don't dare me Bette. Don't dare me.
Bette sits silently, her head resting back, she's not moving and not looking at Tina. She takes a deep breath. Tina's eyes are fixed on her, waiting for her to step out. She stays for several minutes not doing anything, just trying to calm herself down. She ponders for a little while. She doesn't want Tina to leave her, nor does she want to challenge her. Though she's mad, she knows she loves Tina so much. After a few minutes, her emotions have subsided. Tina is still looking at her, patiently waiting. But she's calm too.
Tina: Come on Baby, get up and go back inside the house.
Bette finally gives up, pulls out the car key and gets up. Tina commands again as Bette steps out of the car.
Tina: Give me the key.
Tina opens her palm, waiting for Bette to give her the key. Bette haphazardly puts it on her palm and gives her a hard-faced look, and then walks briskly away towards the house, straight to the bedroom. She slams the door and throws herself on the bed. Tina on the other hand, closes the car door, locks it and goes inside the house. She's aware that Bette is so mad at her. She doesn't want to intensify her anger anymore so she just lets her do her thing, and sulk inside the bedroom; she doesn't bother her, giving her time for herself, allowing her to cool off. When they're both no longer emotional, that's when Tina plans to talk to her.
Meanwhile, Bette gets a colds medicine inside her purse. She gets the bottle of water she finds on top of the side table and drinks the medicine. She's aware that its effect will make her drowsy and will make her sleep for longer hours. True enough, she's asleep after several minutes.
Tina is in the living room and continues to do some household chores. While cleaning and organizing, she's thinking deeply. She realizes her jealousy is getting too much. But she knows that sometimes, she really can't help it.
After cleaning, she cooks food. She assumes that Bette is sleeping since she can't hear any sound or noise. She doesn't want to disturb her either. After cooking, she eats alone knowing that Bette will go out of the bedroom once she feels hungry. Then she keeps herself busy after lunch. After a while, she takes a shower using the other bathroom, hoping that it will also cool her off.
A couple more hours have passed, but Bette is still not going out of the bedroom. Tina is getting bored waiting for her; she feels alone. It's been five hours since Bette entered the bedroom. She decides to check on her. As she enters the bedroom, she finds her sounding asleep, lying on her tummy with her head facing the lamp shade. Tina carefully walks toward the bed. She notices the empty package of a colds medicine and realizes that Bette took it so she can sleep for longer hours. Tina sighs as she softly utters.
Tina: "You're so clever baby! So that's why you've been sleeping for long hours, huh!"
She slowly sits on the side of the bed, watching Bette's face for a while. Slowly, she caresses her back with her warm palm. But Bette is still not waking up as if she's in her deepest sleep. Tina continues to caress her. Shortly, Bette slowly opens her eyes and sees Tina looking affectionately at her. She can feel her warm palm stroking her back tenderly. But she ignores Tina and changes the position of her head, facing the opposite side so she won't see Tina.
Tina doesn't talk, continues to caress Bette, allowing her to continue with her sleep. Somehow, she regrets what she did earlier. A few minutes later, Bette moves her body, a sign that she's already awake, already conscious of what Tina is doing to her. Tina concernedly speaks.
Tina: Baby, get up now. You haven't eaten anything since morning. I cooked your favorite food. You have to eat before your migraine attacks again. Baby…
Slowly, Bette changes the position of her head facing Tina's side but she doesn't look directly at her. She fixes her eyes on the lampshade, her body is still lying on her stomach, not moving.
Tina puts her hand on Bette's face and softly touches it. She strokes Bette's hair from the forehead down her nape, warmly looking at her face as she softly speaks.
Tina: You still mad?
Bette glances at her but immediately looks away, staring at the lampshade once again. But she's loving the feel of Tina's warm palm, caressing her. She can feel her affection from her touch. Then in a little while, Tina gently holds Bette's left hand and begs.
Tina: Get up now Baby. Please?
Bette slowly and groggily gets up, sits on the bed with her legs crossed, and then she looks down on the sheets. Tina strokes her arms drawing her attention. She wants Bette to look at her but Bette could not look at her in the eyes. She cups Bette's face, demanding her to look. Finally, Bette looks at Tina in the eyes.
Tina: I'm sorry Baby... And I'm sorry for not letting you drive your car.
Bette doesn't make any movements except her eyes when she looks down on the blankets. Tina gets the car key inside her pocket and then gives it to Bette.
Tina: Here's your key Baby. I'm sorry for taking it from you.
Bette looks at it, not moving at all and she has a straight face. Tina humbly speaks.
Tina: Here Baby, if you still want to go or drive away, I won't stop you anymore. Here's your key. I'm so sorry.
Bette looks at the key, ignores it and looks at Tina childishly. She slowly extends her arms forward, gesturing for a hug. Tina moves closer and they hug each other. As Bette hugs Tina, she suddenly sobs, quivers as she lets out her emotions. Tina caresses her back then clasps her tightly to herself. They hug for a longer period until Bette stops sobbing.
Tina: I'm sorry baby. I admit it, I was jealous. I was silly and out of my mind.
Bette: What should I do Tee?
Tina: I really can't help it Bette. I get so jealous with all these women you're meeting and talking to. I feel insecure sometimes.
Bette: You don't have to feel that way. Your excessive jealousy is not healthy for our relationship.
Tina: Yeah, I know. I just don't know what happened to me. I always have this fear that they're going to take you away from me.
Bette: You have to trust me.
Tina: I do trust you Bette. But I don't trust these other women around you. It's like...they're all struggling and scrambling to chase you, win you. Look, who is on her right mind would give these grand gifts to you if they don't have any intentions of winning you? It's like they're doing everything to get you; they're all chasing and wanting you. And I can't even compete with them.
Bette: You don't have to compete with them Tee. You just have to remember that I love you and I only want you.
Tina doesn't respond. Bette releases a heavy sigh, quiet for a little while.
Bette: What do you want me to do?
Tina: Help me.
Bette: Help you what?
Tina: Don't give me reasons to be jealous.
Bette sighs again. She's speechless for a few moments, looking down on the bed. Then she cups Tina's head and speaks sincerely as she looks at her directly in the eyes.
Bette: Okay, I'll do my best not to give you any reasons to be jealous. I promise. And I will tell them to stop sending me these gifts. But please, can you be a little more understanding? Baby, you have to remember, I am committed to you, and I will be true to my promise, okay? You just have to trust me, and that's all I ask.
Tina: Okay. I will. I can't afford to lose you Bette.
Bette: You're not gonna lose me Tee. You're not gonna lose me. Okay?
Tina: You promise?
Bette: I promise.
Tina: I love you.
Bette: Love you too.
Bette kisses Tina on the lips for assurance. They get out of the bedroom and Bette eats the food that Tina has prepared.
...
Continuation: I Yield To Your Wishes
