AN: I had writers block but then i remembered an idea I had so hopefully I can stretch this and make it a long one for you guys because my past few have been short. GOOD NEWS! I'm getting my laptop fixed and once that is all go you'll hopefully have more and longer updates! Thanks for reading and again with the fanart, I will die if someone draws for this story! :)
Two weeks had passed since our kiss by the fireplace. Oddly enough, we hadn't shared such a passionate kiss since then. He gave me a kiss on the cheek every morning, whether or not he was waking me up or I was waking him. Then throughout the day he would give me little pecks on the cheek, temples or forehead. However, every single night he gave me a sweet, chaste kiss on my lips before I fell asleep. I was happy. Extremely happy. That is until one eventful afternoon in the middle of the month.
A scream jolted me from my nap with Sokka on the couch. My favorite warrior leapt from the couch and was off and running before I had even sat up. It was so difficult doing anything with this huge belly!
"Aang!" Katara cried from behind me in the kitchen. "Come quick!" When my toes touched the floor I could see her standing over by an open cupboard and a sac of flour around her feet.
"What's wrong!?" Sokka asked, coming to a halt in front of her.
"Katara?" Aang asked upon his arrival not a second after Sokka's.
"Kill it! Kill it!" She cried.
"Kill what?" Sokka groaned.
"It's a bear-spider! It's huge!" She answered. I heard the distinct slap of skin on skin, no doubt the fleshy impact resulting from Sokka's palm and forehead meeting.
"What?" I whispered to myself sitting back down on the couch.
"Alright, alight, where is it?" Sokka asked, pushing her aside.
I felt heat rising in my stomach.
"Wait! Don't kill it!" Aang interjected quickly.
A little spark flared in my gut.
"Oh come on, it's not like you haven't killed an animal before," Sokka complained.
"That was different," he said in a low voice.
You have got to be kidding me!
"Just get rid of it!" Katara ordered, obviously flustered. Bickering rose from the three of them. A tiny heartbeat appeared in Aang's hand.
"Ugh! How can you hold that thing?" Snoozles blanched.
I can't believe it.
"He's not hurting anyone," the Avatar answered.
The heat flared up to my face.
"Just take it outside! Katara yelled in a shrill voice.
Something inside of me just snapped. "You woke me up over a bear-spider?" I said darkly, "a BEAR-SPIDER!?" I yelled. Everyone froze and I could feel their gazes on me. "Are you kidding me!? Do know how little I've slept the last week!? It's a stupid little bug! For the love of Tui and La, Katara! Do you have to spaz out about everything! I- You- it- ugh!" I screamed stomping off.
Her jaw fell open. I slammed my door shut and curled up under the covers in a ball in the center of my bed. I was fuming! Why did people have to be so... so, so peopleish!? I stayed under the blankets for maybe an hour, during which I felt guilty for yelling at Katara. Well, not really guilty about yelling, but telling her she spazzed out about everything... even if it was true. A soft knock came from the door. I put my fingers on the floor before allowing the person entrance. "Come in, Sokka," I called, sitting up.
"Hey," he said coming in and shutting the door behind him. "You feeling better?"
"I guess," I shrugged. I heard him chuckle. "What?" I demanded.
"I'm sorry, Toph, but you just look so pathetic." I opened my mouth to give him a good lashing but he beat me to the next sentence. "Not like that, it's just your hair."
"What about my hair, Meathead?" I snapped.
"It's everywhere. I saw it everyday in the morning when we were traveling, but you just look so cute," he chuckled. I crossed my arms and huffed. The bed dipped beside me when he sat down. "It's endearing," he said softly. "With your red nose," he said, brushing his finger on the tip of my cold nose, "and your little cheeks." He cupped my face in his hands and my heart went crazy. I still hadn't grown used to this much physical contact from him. "And those big green eyes," he smiled. "And these perfect lips," he breathed, running his thumbs over my lips. I felt my breath coming in shuddering gasps. He leaned forward and my eyelids fell shut, waiting for the soft brush of his lips on mine. I leaned in and just barely caught his lips before he pulled away.
"Kiss me, you big dummy," I whispered yanking on his collar and bringing his lips back to mine. He chuckled low in his chest, I felt him smile against my mouth and then he kissed me back. I let out a happy sigh. His fingers toyed with the ends of my hair before tangling in the dark strands. He ran his strong fingers through my hair, gently tugging at the tangles. He deepened the kiss and both of his hands locked into fists pulling, almost a little painfully, at my scalp. My hands snaked their way around his back and pulled him closer to me. I twisted so my torso was fully facing him. He pressed his chest into mine and our kiss grew more passionate. Before I could register the sound of the door clicking open Aang was already screaming something about his eyes burning and backing out quickly.
Sokka and I separated just in time to see his orange and yellow robes swishing through the door frame, almost getting caught in the door. My cheeks burned and I felt heat crawl up Sokka's skin into his cheeks. I pulled my hands from his back but he pulled me into him and kissed my cheek, and then my jaw, close to my ear. He placed a long, sweet kiss under my jaw and then my neck. My breath caught in my throat, my whole body froze and panic stirred in my belly. He kissed me again, a little harder. And a vague memory flashed into my mind. "Stop," I whispered. He didn't hear me and moved down my neck a little farther. "Stop," I said a little louder, but he kept kissing me. "Sokka, stop!" I cried pushing him back. I pushed my self against the wooden headboard and gulped in air.
"Toph, I'm so sorry," he said hurriedly. I didn't answer him, I couldn't answer him. Chills crawled over my skin and I blinked trying to clear my head. "Toph, please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"
I cut him off. "It's ok, you didn't hear me the first two times.
"You told me to stop twice?" He gasped in horror. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe I- I am so sorry," he said in a pained, quiet voice.
"It's ok, I just... remembered something," I forced out. I felt him creep closer and I flinched. "Listen, I'm not mad don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault." I was finally starting to feel like I was getting some air into my lungs. "I just need a minute, ok?" He picked up on my hidden message right away and slunk out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.
I closed my eyes and put my head in my hands.
Jai Ling's lips brushed against my neck and he growled something but I couldn't really hear what he was saying. It felt like koala-sheep wool had been stuffed in my ears. He teeth brushed my skin and I shivered. I tried to push him away but my arms wouldn't move. Panic rose in my throat and I tried to push him off of me again but it was no use, I couldn't move. I tried kicking him, biting, anything just to get away from him, but my body wouldn't answer me. Why wouldn't it answer me? Why? Why me? Why? I cried in my head. A tear slipped over my cheeks and slid down my neck, stopping when it touched the side of his mouth. He kissed the salty water from my skin.
I realized I was shaking then as I came to the end of the foggy memory. I felt dirty. I got up as quickly as I could and darted into the bathroom. I tore my clothes off and sat in the tub before the water had even turned warm. I started crying. It was just like after I got home. It was all the same. I shivered when the cold water touched my bottom. It won't ever stop, I won't ever be clean again. I hadn't had such a relapse in a long, long time and now here I was again, sobbing in my bathtub, about to rub my skin until it was raw. I felt that horrible weight drop into my chest; depression, anxiety, utter horror, take your pick. I cried even harder when I thought I might be sick again. I managed to calm myself enough to keep the contents in my stomach and not on the floor.
The water was hot, too hot really but I didn't care. Hot water was supposed to kill germs right? I grabbed the sea sponge and rubbed soap on it and scrubbed my arms.
Sokka found me an hour later curled up against the wall in a towel:
"Toph!" He yelled over his pounding on the door. "Please answer me! Are you ok!? I'm sorry!" He hollered. I tried to keep my cries hidden from him, but somehow I knew he could hear me. "Are you decent? Please tell me you're decent before I bust in this door and find out myself." "Toph!" It was quiet for a moment but then I heard a little metallic picking noise and the lock click open. I fisted my hand a little tighter around the top of the towel covering my shaking body. "Oh," he said gently creeping towards me. I turned my face away from him, ashamed I was such a mess again. "It's alright. You're safe. It's over, come on," he coaxed putting his arms under my knees and shoulders. He hoisted me to his chest, making a soothing "shh" sound through his teeth. I let my cheek fall against his shirt and sniffled. "You just need a good, long nap and you'll be as good as new," he said tightening his hold on my legs. His rough fingers scratched along my burning skin and I hissed. "Toph, you've got to quit doing this to yourself," he said laying me on the bed. He brushed back my damp bangs with the back his hand.
"I'm sorry," I said through chattering teeth. If it was from the cool air or cold memories, I couldn't tell. He moved away and I felt the heat go with him. I heard him throw wood into the fireplace and light it. I snugged down in the covers and closed my eyes.
"I'm the one that should be sorry."
"You say that one more time and I will personally shove a pick under your kneecap and pop it off," I growled. He chuckled and sat down beside me. He cautiously went to lay down next to me and when I didn't move away he pulled the blankets back and pulled me to his chest before covering both of us back up. I felt warmth seep through his shirt and through the damp towel. "I need to change," I said quietly, my cheeks burning.
"Right," he said. He left the room and I changed into clean under clothes and a pair of long pants and his tunic he had forgotten all those years ago. It was starting to pull tight against my belly. I sighed dejectedly and crawled back into bed.
"You can come in now," I said.
Before I knew it we were waking up. I was warm and content, and not so stressed as before. I could hear the quiet crackles and pops coming from the dying fire. Sokka got up, startling me a little, I had no idea he was awake. He stoked the fire and then tugged on my hand. I got up and sat beside him. He pulled my arm to him by the wrist and ran his fingertips over my angry red skin gently. His touch was so light it didn't hurt but tickled. "You need to get some lotion on that or something," he said getting up and disappearing from the room. I felt him hurry into his room and shuffle around and then come jogging back with an animal hide bag in his hand. He pulled it apart at the seams and sat at my feet.
"What is that?" I asked.
"It's perfumed whale blubber. It's lotion basically, but a whole lot more healing. I brought it with me in case I got into a patch of ivy-bramble or something and well, you need it more than I do."
"Oh... thanks," said. He reached his hand out and I took some of the lotion from the bag and rubbed it between my palms. I spread it on my arms and worked it in. It was soothing to my burning flesh, but also warm, which was nice considering I my muscles hurt. I jumped a little when Sokka touched my ankle.
"Hey, just like the Fire Palace ok?" He said. I nodded and he rubbed the blubber into my legs gently, careful not to scratch me. He massaged my calves as he went and made my legs feel like blasting jelly... well at least before it exploded. He touched the top of my feet tenderly. Yes I had even made my feet feel a little raw. His fingers dug into my feet in a nice way. His foot rub was amazing. And it was the strangest thing. I got a really good look at him. I noticed how a wayward lock of hair fell over his forehead in a very adorable way. I could feel how his bad leg was muscled and tissued in a different way from his other leg. And I could even feel scars along his body. I knew they must have been very deep for me to be able to see them. I couldn't see very fine detail but detail nonetheless. And these must have been pretty gnarly wounds at some point to make such an impression in his skin that it became a detail.
When he finished I got back into bed and slept until early evening. I didn't wake until someone knocked on my door and pushed it open soon after. I got up and stretched. "Oh, hey Katara."
"We're going into town for dinner if you want to come."
"Sounds good." She made to leave but I stopped her. "Listen about this morning-"
"It was afternoon."
"Afternoon, I'm sorry."
"Me too," she msiled. "Now get dressed!" She laughed.
Such a simple task should be menial when getting ready for diiner but not this time. She found me a few minutes later sitting in the middle of my floor crying, a shirt twisted in my hands. Clothes were scattered about and a large whole in the wall. "Toph, what happened?" She gasped in horror.
"Nothing fits me!" I wailed. "Only these pants and top do now! Yesterday's outfit seemed to fit but now it doesn't. I'm so fat!" I cried, hanging my head. "And why am I so mad then happy, then sad and then happy and then even more sad?"
"Oh, sweetie," Katara cooed bending down and warpping her arms around my shoulders. "You're not fat, you just pregnant...very pregnant. And we'll buy you some more clothes in town ok? Some that fit you." How could she be so miserabley jolly?
"Well what am I supposed to wear in then? This?" I was normally one not to care how I looked but I just knew I was not presentable.
"Well, here, we can make it work," She said tugging on my hair with a brush that just seemed to magically appear in her hand. She twisted my hair into a braid and tugged on my clothes, brushed some poweder on my face and stuck a little pin in my hair. "There! Now let's go eat," she grinned happily, tugging me out the door.
AN: Sorry for any typos in the last few paragraphs only have 2 minutes to get out of the library :)
