She knew she shouldn't go back. It had been dumb luck that Tugger hadn't recognized her in the first place, she really shouldn't count on that again. True that the Maine coon had never seen her, nor he expected Quaxo to have a twin sister, not after the heartbreaking story the two of them had fed the Tribe. But she knew better than to underestimate the intelligence of the leopard spotted tom. Everybody else thought he was just a flirt and a whore, whose brain capacity resembled more the one of a chicken than one of an intelligent being, but she and her brother had seen the real Tugger. The cat who wore his heart on his sleeve and for this was considered hot headed and mad by everyone else. Sure he acted on impulse but his great heart made up for almost any dangerous situation he got himself into.
After leaving the clearing she vowed never to see him again in her true form. It was worth the risks and she knew it. She shifted back into the sleek body of the black cat and headed back to the Yard. She was going to stand him up the next day and take care of any broken and shattered feelings he might have developed as Lenny. The black and white queen was dead and dead had to stay. Steeling her resolve she or he, after the shape shift – Everlasting Cat things were getting annoyingly confusing – jumped up some junk-piles and almost fell back when he brutally collided with someone he wasn't there a second before.
"Watch out! Oh Lenny it's you! Sorry I bumped into you. I really didn't see you climbing…"
"It's all right Munkus. Didn't see you either, plus no blood no harm done!"
Lenny softened his baritone voice just enough so that Munkus didn't feel threatened by him, but he couldn't help but notice the slight fidgeting that seemed to plague the older cat.
"Munk are you all right? Is something the matter?"
"Ehm…well…I'!"
Oh, so that was it. Right…Lenny supposed he should have seen that coming, he had stormed out rather abruptly the last time he had seen the silver protector. Granted the grey tabby wasn't the reason of her odd behavior, he really could not have known it, hence this guilt trip.
"Munkunstrap chill! It wasn't your fault, although I'd rather appreciate if you stopped referring to us as kits, since we'll be toms in a couple of weeks, but apart from that it's really me who should be apologizing. I kind of over reacting back there, but I've had trouble sleeping for a while, so I guess I'm really cranky! Really relax, I'm not going to kill you, nor hate you for that matter. Just hope you can forgive me!"
"I never really blamed you in the slightest Lenny! It's just that I have been unfair towards you and I was, and still am, really ashamed about what I was about to do…guess it was my way to lift the tension or have you hate me so the blow would have been softened."
"Munk now you're freaking me out! What have you done to Quaxo? You know I specifically asked you NOT to send him out on patrols, not even with Alonzo!"
"Len chill! Quaxo's fine and I'm not that stupid to send him on patrols. I know you'd skin me alive! I simply wanted him to dance the solo with Victoria during the Ball and then sing the Invitation to the Jellicle Ball. It's just that you're coming of age as well, yes I know you're younger but for us the Ball is a way of celebrating everyone who's born in the year, and I really didn't consider you as a possibility for that role…there I said it! You can hate me all you like!"
The grey striped tabby hung his head low in shame, waiting for the reaction to come. And when it came the protector could only gape, like an idiot, at the black cat rolling on the floor howling with laughter.
"You, you thought I was going to kill you because I don't dance in the Ball? Oh Everlasting this is hilarious!"
Seeing that the tabby still wasn't convinced about not being murdered he clarified: "I'm not mad at you and definitely not jealous of Quaxo! I can't dance and my voice definitely isn't the best choice for a song that needs a tenor. I'm not an idiot and definitely I'm not vain. I can move rhythmically but that definitely doesn't make me qualified for the solo! And I care about Vicky far too much to ruin her big moment. Can I still come to the Ball and maybe do some background dancing and singing?"
The hopeful underlying tone in the last request jerked Munkunstrap away from his musings: "Of course you'll be at the Ball, that wasn't even in question! Everybody sings and dances and you know very well that not only the ones in the spotlight are the most important. We need background as much as front dancers and singers! I'm actually glad you took it so well! You haven't been the first to be negated a solo or a song because of his lack of talent in the department but you're definitely the very first who has taken it in such a mature way. You are right, I should stop calling you a kit!"
Only offering a small smile and a curt nod in return the black cat patted the protector's back and went his way, in order to find his brother and congratulate him on the achievement. He knew that Quaxo, being very shy, hated the spotlight, but he hoped that his love for dancing and singing could overcome his distaste for the spotlight. As hoped he found the small tux – he seriously loved being Lenny just because it had been the first time in her entire life that she had been able to look at him while towering him, he was small but, to her utter dismay, she was even smaller – on top of his favorite pipe, sunbathing in the dying sun.
"You really have to stop sleazing around like that brother!"
The terrified screech and the subsequent loud crash echoed in the entire Junkyard and had the effect of drawing every Jellicle out of their dens to see what the commotion was about. When they saw Lenny on top of the pipe, trying hard not to laugh, and Quaxo splayed on his back most just rolled their eyes and went along with their lives.
"What the hell Lenny! First you disappear for most of the day without so much as a hint to where you were and when you come back you decide to scare me out of my fur just for fun?"
"Sorry brother! I really didn't mean to scare you. I thought you had heard me. As for the disappearing act I'm really sorry, but I needed to clear my head before I took the frustration out on somebody who had nothing to do with that…"
"It's all right bro…I can understand that! Just I would have liked to be informed where you were, just in case. I know you can handle yourself, but I can't stop worrying for you. Call me overprotective but I need to know where you are! And on the subject of taking your frustration out on those who don't deserve it, did you talk to Munk?"
"Oh, yes. I talked to him just now. We solved. I don't understand why he was so concerned about the fact I was going to kill him because he didn't give a role in the Ball…but on the subject I'm guessing congratulations are in order!"
"So Munkus told you about the fact he offered me the solo and the song. Yeah…thanks for the cheering but I really don't…"
"Don't you even start your usual charade. I'm not letting you wriggle yourself out of it this time! You'll dance and sing if I have to drag you sorry hide under the spotlight!"
"Ok…I'll do it! Sheesh you're really scary when you're menacing people Len! You really should work on your social skills!"
"My social skills are fine thank you very much! I know you and I know you hate the spotlight! I'm only ensuring you won't pull a little disappearing act on Munk before the Ball. If his stress levels were any indication if you bail on him you'll cause him an heart attack, and you really don't want a pissed off Demeter hot on your tail. Plus you don't want to screw your chance with sweet little Jemima right?"
The deep crimson blush that crept underneath the white fur on the magician face was the only hint the black feline needed to know he had scored home.
"Someone has really given the idea some thought and apparently has reached an answer! C'mon tell me!"
"Lenny shut it! I haven't thought about anything or anyone!"
C'mon brother! There is no need to get so tasty about it! You know you can tell me about anything and I won't judge you…you really haven't thought about it?
Of course I have thought about it! I just didn't want my affairs to be public! You said it yourself I hate the spotlight and I definitely can't stand it when you're prying!
If I didn't pry you wouldn't tell me anything! You're so buttoned up about everything that you have to take at least four roundabouts ways to have some answers.
Oh fine! When you pout like that you know I can't deny you anything! What do you want to know?
EVERYTHING!
Sometimes I wonder why I didn't have a male brother! What do you mean by everything? Couldn't you be more specific?
Nope! I want to know everything!
Oh Everlasting Cat! Fine! I'll tell you everything! Well, I don't know! She is a fine almost queen. She is beautiful and ethereal and smart and sassy and caring, and loyal and…
Ok, ok I get the hint! She's perfect! But what do you want? We've established she'd make a fine mate, but do you want one?
I really don't have an answer to that. I suppose I ought to find myself a mate, but with everything going on I don't think I can focused myself on somebody else apart you. Plus a mate would definitely be a weakness and the Everlasting knows we don't need another one of those.
Fine, you aren't rejecting the mating idea, so I guess it's a start. But do you feel anything for her? I don't know, fireworks? Butterflies in your stomach whenever she looks at you? Anything?
I definitely feel something for her, but it's more like deep affection than lusting love. So no fireworks, I'm sorry sis!
It's all right. I never pictured you as a latin lover cat! You would scare me out of my wits if you developed a macho style of courting. So I guess there might be something but only time will tell right?
You could say that…but speaking of relations what can you tell me about your personal fireworks? Has he done something worth mentioning?
I don't know Misto. We are taking it veeeeeery slowly. He isn't convinced about a male-male relationship. I mean it's not that he said anything. I can see he cares about me. We connect deeply, but I can tell that we are missing something. I know he wants kittens and the fact that I'm apparently a male it's killing him inside. But he promised he was going to take care of me, and I know that he won't go back on his word. I was kind of thinking about releasing him.
Oh sis! I'm truly sorry. I know you love him entirely too much! But I have to agree with you: if it's killing him I think you should be the one to end it. I'm not saying you should stop seeing each other, but maybe friendship is really the best solution. You said you have taken it very slowly so it shouldn't be a problem going back right?
No it shouldn't. I just hope I won't break his heart. You know that he thinks that everybody left him. I'm afraid he won't take my reasoning the right way.
Just talk to him and if he pulls the stubborn-the-whole-world-hates-me-stunt just tell me about and I'll burn him to crisp, so he might see some reason.
I'll try to talk to him tonight. Would you mind not coming over to his den? I'd like to do it alone if you are ok with this.
Don't worry! Tonight I need to talk to Vicky about the solo, so I was going to be busy nonetheless.
Ok Misto. If you need help rehearsing the dance, just teach me the moves and we can practice together.
Thanks sis! Remember I love you!
Love you too big brother, love you too.
"Tugger, we really need to talk."
"Sure Lenny come on in! Are you all right? You really don't seem fine…something bothering you?"
"I'm not fine Tug! Let's get down to business...I don't think we should continue pretending we love each other as a couple."
The smaller cat casted his lilac eyes on the floor, trying not to look at the Maine coon not wanting to risk reconsidering his resolve. While in that predicament he missed the brief expression of relief that crossed the older tom's face.
If he hadn't missed it he might have understood better what was going on inside Tugger, but he didn't see and the subsequent words the maned tom uttered cut through his heart like sharpened glass.
"What are you implying? That you don't care about me anymore? That the Rum Tum Tugger is not enough for you?"
"NO Tugger! I really care about you! More than you could ever imagine! But I don't think we are well suited to be mates, I mean you want kittens and I definitely can't give you this! I'm just saying that maybe friendship is a better option for us!"
"Admit it Lenny! You simply don't want to deal with me anymore! What I'm too much a handful for you paws? You're just like everybody else! You just wanted to say you had the Rum Tum Tugger in your paws and that out of the way you just trash me! You're an hypocrite! Like everybody else!"
"NO Tugger! You have to believe me! I would never do that to you! I just want you to live your life at the fullest, and I don't think you'd be totally happy with me!"
"Bullshit! I don't believe you! Out of my den! OUT OF MY LIFE!"
And with that, the coon unsheathed his claws and slashed the smaller cat in the middle of his face. Horrified and downright scared the black cat fled, tears staining his cheeks, mixed with blood. He ran and ran far away from the Junkyard. He never looked back and let his instincts lead him somewhere safe, a place where he knew nobody was going to be able to find him. To add insult to injury it started to pour. Completely soaked the young feline realized his legs had taken him to the small clearing where he, as Helena, was supposed to meet Tugger the following day.
Unable to stand it anymore he let the blissful darkness take him.
