The Jellicle Ball was fast approaching and the Rum Tum Tugger knew he had to go back to the Yard. He had been missing for a grand total of ten days, which wasn't a very long time for someone like him to be gone, but he had disappeared without as much as a backward glance in a time of intense distress for the Tribe, a distress that he basically caused.

But the voices in his head had warned him that his new friend was in mortal danger and, had it not been for his perfect timing and swift intervention, she would have been dead by now and, Tugger had a feeling, all the world would have been in a mortal danger.

Out of the ten days almost three had been spent worried out of his mind over the failing health of the tux queen he was supposed to save. The Maine coon was many things, but a healer wasn't one of them so, aside from staunching the blood flow with whatever he managed to find that was suitable, there wasn't much more he could do if not keeping vigil by her side all the while praying the Everlasting Cat for her survival.

He couldn't even begin to understand why he had gone to such great lengths for a queen he barely even knew, but something inside him had told him that Ana was not a complete stranger. Something was blocking his memory and Bast he really didn't know what was the cause for it.

But she had survived the ordeal she had undergone – and even though Tugger really wanted to know the details he never pushed her to share them – and the next seven days had been spent in getting to know better the angelic, yet witty and sarcastic queen, that he had stumbled upon a lifetime ago in a clearing long forgotten.

She was everything he desperately needed: fun, loving, a cuddler, smart, sassy, a little bit bossy, sweet, caring…in a word: perfect.

For the first time in years he had told someone the pitiful story of his life, the sense of abandonment and loss that had hit him with his mother's death and his brothers' disappearances. He was so engrossed in his past and so very grateful that she hadn't treated him with pity afterwards that he didn't even notice that she had shared nothing of her past. Not even the smallest hint towards a family, a sibling or just even a past in itself.

It should have stroked the Maine coon as odd, but the lack of a quality audience for a long time had made him oblivious to everything else and the black and white almost queen had been very careful not to let anything slip from her sealed lips.

I'm sorry Tugger! I'm so, so sorry for every pain and heartbreak I will put you through. It is very selfish of me standing here and talking with you, indulging myself in your sweetness and care. I should have sent you away the first time I saw you but I was such a coward and so in need of reassurances myself that I decided that I could pretend to be someone else for the time being. But it's exactly the time that is the issue here. I am running out of it and very soon I will have to face one of my worst fears and let part of the prophecy come true.

"Ana! Have you been paying attention to what I just said or were you daydreaming again?"

"Sorry love! I spaced out for a while…you were saying?"

Trying to make amends for her impolite behaviour she leaned forward to place a small, chaste kiss on the tom's lips. Watching him closing his eyes trying to savour the kiss sent a fresh wave of guilt into her system. It wasn't fair for him that she had led him on so much! But she had loved him from the first time she had seen him and in every form she had taken, every identity she had assumed he had always managed to find her. It wasn't just meant to be, it was Destiny!

Oh snap out of it you stupid queen! What would your brother say of this nonsensical behaviour of yours? You know perfectly well that Tugger will loathe you the minute he discovers the truth! He will not appreciate the fact that you have been keeping stuff from him and I don't think he'll take you death very kindly! I know that, but you can't control who you'll fall for or when it'll happen don't you think?

Knowing that talking to herself usually meant she had reached the borders of insanity she sighed defeated and refocused on what her lover was trying to tell her.

"…and I really want to go back if that's ok with you…"

"Sure honey, why not?" Wait a second! Go back where? What did she just missed because of her daydreaming?

"What did you just say? Go back where?"

Sighing for the umpteenth time the young tom reformulated his request, secretly hoping that this time his love would give him complete attention:

"I said that the Jellicle Ball is tomorrow night and I kind of left the Yard without telling anybody after that horrible stunt I pulled with Lenny, and I know that everyone will be worried sick, especially Munk, and father will not be pleased by my disappearance, and that Quaxo will probably have my hide, and that I still don't know what happened to Lenny and that I really want to go back, if that's ok with you…"

In a way that was so uncharacteristic for the coon he had let his voice drop and had taken on a more subdued manner. He really wanted to go home, but he also didn't want to lose what he had found and come to appreciate in Ana, and he had this feeling that if he went back to the Yard the petite queen was going to vanish from his life altogether.

In the meantime Helena's thoughts were as much jumbled as they ever were. The Jellicle Ball. The Jellicle Ball was the day after and she had completely forgotten about it! Moreover she had totally forgotten about everything else, her brother being one of the things!

For the past week she had been nothing else if not Ana, a simple young queen, with no magic powers and no special abilities. A young tux without secrets and desperately in love with a young tom who reciprocated her in the most beautiful way.

Their romance hadn't been exactly platonic and she had come to appreciate the "practice" that the Rum Tum Tugger had gained with time…

Wait a second…our relationship hasn't been sorely platonic…Oh Everlasting Cat I could I have been so stupid! I knew that the only way to get to Misto's soul was to taint mine, how could I have been so careless! I completely forgot about him! How could I have been so selfish and stupid!

While an internal battle was raging inside of Helena a small reflective surface caught her eyes: she madly dashed for it, leaving a flabbergasted Tugger in her wake, but when she got there she managed to heave a sigh of relief.

There's no trace of tainting in my eyes. If possible they are even clearer than ever. Thank the Everlasting Cat for this…but if my soul was not tainted that must mean that…oh stop thinking gibberish Helena and get a grip on yourself! This doesn't mean anything and you know it full well!

"Ehm…Ana?"

The hesitant question coming from behind her reminded the queen that she wasn't alone and that her mad dash towards a mirror wasn't something she was very keen to explain.

"I'm sorry Tugger…I just wanted to check something…"

Though the Maine coon didn't seem really convinced by her story at least he decided to let it go for the moment and to focus instead onto his previous line of questioning.

"So…about the Jellicle Ball? Would you like to come back to the Yard with me? I mean, if you don't want to meet the Jellicles I perfectly understand. After all, I don't think they will welcome you with open arms because I would have brought you there, so if you really want to stay here I'll stay to…"

If not for the fact that this was obviously a serious topic of conversation for the coon she would have laughed at the pitiful sight in front of her. In the silence that followed Tugger's rumblings Helena carefully considered her next steps.

She desperately both wanted and needed to go back to the Yard, back to her brother, but she knew for a fact that the time to reveal their secret identities still had not come, so going back in her true body was definitely out of the question.

For the same reason, telling Tugger that she was a magic cat with a magic twin that had escaped Macavity by posing as a male black tom in the Jellicle Tribe was another big no.

But sending away the Maine coon with an idiotic excuse and then disappear from his life entirely wasn't something she was ready to deal with.

She loved the Rum Tum Tugger with all her heart and she had loved him from the moment he had saved her from Macavity. She knew that the tom had serious trusting problems, she had seen that much as Lenny when she had tried to break up with him without hurting him in the process. For this reason she had to be very careful in what to tell the cat in front of her lest risking his destruction forever.

Just as the coon had started to loose hope of receiving an answer from the beautiful queen in front of him, she decided to break the silence.

"Well…so you want to go back to the Yard and participate to the Jellicle Ball, am I right?"

"Yes…well I would like to, not only to participate the Ball, but also to reassure Munkunstrap that I am alive and…well…to seek forgiveness from Quaxo and Lenny for my appalling behaviour. Intellectually I knew that he was trying to free me from a relationship that obviously wasn't working but I sort of let my paranoia get the best of me and I really made a mess of things…and I really want to fix it."

"Even though your behaviour was indeed appalling I think that this Lenny cat will find it in himself to forgive you in the end…but I think that if you really want his forgiveness you need to go back alone my love…"

While talking she could see in his eyes that he was about to reject this idea of separation, but she really didn't see another way for both of them to go back to the Yard without arising terrible suspects, so she kept pushing the issue fervently hoping that the coon in front of her didn't see right through the lies and hate her.

"Tugger please listen to me and let me finish. Do you care about Lenny?"

She knew the question wasn't fair but she really needed to make the point.

"Of course I do care about him, why are you even asking?"

"Ok then. So what would he say if you went back to apologize and ask for forgiveness accompanied by a queen, just a mere ten days after the incident? Do you really think he would consider you really sorry? And even if he did, what would Quaxo say? After all you slash his brother, waste yourself on catnip, disappear and then come back with a new mate? What would Munkunstrap think?"

Oh how she wanted to kill herself there and now! She was shamelessly guilt-tripping him into going back to the Yard alone, but alas desperate times warrant desperate measures and these were indeed desperate times…

The Maine coon sat on the floor thinking intently about what Ana had just told him. He was loathe to admit it, but the point she had raised had been valid and, unfortunately, very true.

He desperately wanted the Tribe to accept him back and also to accept Ana alongside him because he knew he couldn't live without the petite queen, but that was something that was not going to happen if he just waltzed into the Yard with a new conquest mere days after end things so horridly with Lenny. Surely that was something they all expected from the Rum Tum Tugger, but just Tugger knew that it wasn't the best way to earn forgiveness. It wasn't fair that he had to separate from Ana, but it also wasn't fair to Lenny and Quaxo to just show them he had been able to move on with his life as though his story with Lenny hadn't meant a single thing.

With a sigh he prepared himself to admit defeat against the logical reasoning of the queen in front of him.

"Ok, fine…I see your point. Going back to the Yard and create a scandal is not the best way to earn forgiveness, but…I can't loose you…I don't want to loose you Ana…what do we do?"

She knew she was just digging herself a deeper grave, one in which her brother was going to bury her without even a second glance, but she, as well as him, couldn't bear the thought of never seeing Tugger again, at least not as someone closer to real Heleiana as Ana was.

"Listen to me my adorable coon. The fact that I won't be coming with you doesn't mean that I want be in your heart always. But if you really want to see me again let's meet, a week from now, in the clearing we met for the first time, what do you think?"

Knowing he couldn't possibly hope for a better offer that this Tugger gave in and accepted her proposition.

After that no more words were exchanged between the two lovers and after a passionate kiss they both turned around and started walking towards two different directions, neither one turning back to watch the other go.