AN: Wow, it's been four months since I posted an update to this particular story. I apologize for the delay; tying up the loose ends on the longest continuous story I've ever written has been a challenge. The end is near, though. One more chapter after this, and we'll have tied Titans Together into Things Change.
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Titans, and my sole remuneration is your much-appreciated reviews.
CHAPTER 15
"You're going to wipe BB's mind? No freaking way, Raven! That's not an option!" Cyborg slammed a fist on the desk to emphasize his words. All of the Watchtower's furniture had been designed with super strength in mind, though, and he didn't leave even the tiniest dent. Robin's coffee mug jumped, though, its contents thankfully already consumed.
"Cy, believe me, it's what needs to happen," his best friend said, a placating hand on Victor's arm. "There's no other choice."
"No other choice? Since when have you ever believed in that, BB?"
The green boy let his hand drop away, expression going vacant. "Since all of a sudden it was true."
Robin was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, a scowl on his face. Still, he remained silent.
From her position on the bed, Starfire tried a more diplomatic tack. "You two have already discussed this decision most thoroughly, it seems."
A nod came from the empath standing in the center of the room, now dressed entirely in white. Only twice before had Cyborg seen that color on Raven, and neither time was an experience he'd care to repeat. "Before we mentioned anything to the team, I needed to make sure I would be able to do this at all. I had to have a conference of sorts in order to bring all my emotions into alignment. Garfield came along and helped impress upon them the necessity of performing this spell."
Robin's brow furrowed. "So impress the necessity on me, too. You're talking about something that could potentially alter team dynamics in a big—" He paused, closing his eyes. "No, I'm going to stop doing that. Hiding my real reasons has almost lost me you guys' trust too many times. I'm..." With a deep breath, he opened his eyes. Seeping out from behind those white lenses was something the Titans seldom saw— uncertainty. "I'm worried about Beast Boy," he said, voice softer than they'd heard in quite a while. "You're talking about going into his mind and rewiring things, erasing things. I've been working with superheroes for about half my life, and I've only heard of a handful of times where they've done something like this. There's always a price... a big one."
Garfield's ears drooped. "Yeah, there is," he mumbled. His gaze flickered to the side for a moment, almost imperceptibly. Cyborg thought it might have been his imagination, until a computerized replay of the memory showed his buddy looking at Raven. Victor's sole eyebrow shot up. So those two had finally become an item? About time... but then, why did BB look like the world had completely run out of tofu?
"I will have to erase every memory Garfield has of this entire trip," Raven said, voice still a monotone. "Because of the complexity of the human mind, it may also affect some of his other memories if they are similar enough, and it is almost guaranteed to damage the emotional pathways connected with events that have happened here in Spain. For example, Robin, if Beast Boy is beginning to trust you more now because you are being more open, he may lose the trust you have cultivated, and then some. That is the cost of this spell." For all the sadness radiating off of Beast Boy, there was absolutely zero emotion coming from the sorceress. If what she was saying was right, though, doing this would set her and Gar's relationship back exponentially, maybe even destroy it outright. Had Victor been wrong about the feeling being mutual?
"You seem awfully calm about this whole mess, Raven," Cyborg remarked, testing the waters.
The purple-haired girl gave a single, slow nod. "My current state of tranquility is the result of an agreement with all of my emotional aspects, and was only made possible because they all understand that Garfield's mental stability depends on the flawless execution of this spell. I will remain in balance until the spell is complete and Beast Boy is recovering, after which I will enter the safe room in Titans Tower and release each of my emotions in turn for an hour at a time. Rage will receive a special dispensation of two hours: one at the beginning, and one at the end." She fixed her eyes on Robin. "The process will leave me incapacitated for at least twenty-four hours, possibly up to thirty-six. You will be short two teammates, so plan accordingly; I suggest keeping a few members of the Titans East in Jump City for an extra day, but the decision lies with you."
Cyborg's lone human eye bulged. Two hours of Rage running free? Apparently Raven did reciprocate the Grass Stain's feelings... and she knew she was going to lose him.
Something wasn't adding up, though; this choice was too extreme, unless Beast Boy and Raven were hiding something massive from the rest of them.
"Why do we need this?" Victor finally managed. "What makes this the only option? There's plenty of ways to deal with trauma."
Pursing her lips, Raven weighed her words. "Slade will strike soon, long before any of the traditional methods of therapy will have a chance to—"
"I'm having flashbacks," Gar's voice interrupted, and the half-robot teen looked back to find his best friend clenching his fists. "Raven's been downplaying just how bad it is, because I asked her..." He coughed. "I asked her not to tell you all how much of a basket case I am."
Cyborg rocked back on his heels. That was the missing piece... and his buddy hadn't told him.
"How bad?" Robin asked, not missing a beat. Already Cyborg could see the calculations running behind his mask.
A green adam's apple bobbed. "Bad. The slightest taste of blood if I bite my lip, or a noise, or a word, and everything falls apart. I can't even take a shower without it happening. For my own good, I probably won't be able to be by myself for more than a couple minutes at a time until we do this... and we need to do this."
Taking a deep breath and exhaling, Robin let his shoulders sag. "Does anyone disagree?" he finally asked, voice resigned but carrying the tiniest tinge of hope. The Boy Wonder was wishing that someone would magically produce a better plan, some alternative; Cyborg recognized the feeling from his own heart.
No one spoke, and as the seconds dragged on, that hope shriveled to nothing as if through time-lapse photography. Finally, Batman's former sidekick spoke once more. "It's settled, then. I'll consult with J'onn to be certain he doesn't know of an alternative, but I trust Raven's judgment. We'll leave here in a few hours, and as soon as we're back in the Tower, Raven and Beast Boy will go through with the plan."
A cold weight settled into Cyborg's stomach, and all he could do was nod. "I'll take the first turn keeping BB company; I could use his help getting the ship ready." Every head in the room turned to him in disbelief, and he silently begged them not to press the matter.
"All right," Beast Boy murmured, breaking the tension. "Let's go get 'er prepped. See you guys in a little while." With that, he shuffled out the door, Cyborg close behind.
—
There was little to no preparation needed before their flight; Watchtower policy was to refuel every craft immediately after landing in case of emergency, and the computer was capable of making the trip home with zero human intervention. Still, Victor made a show of fussing with the instrument panel, the seats, everything he could think of, feeling the Green Bean's eyes on him the whole while.
Reaching blindly for the compartment containing the main cabin's headset, Victor's hand found empty space. He looked over to find Gar clutching the equipment in both hands, just a little too tightly to be casual— the same way he was smiling. "So, uh, looks like I helped out a lot in here," he remarked, handing the equipment off with reluctant fingers that then proceeded to squirm into each other. "This mean I get to fly the T-Ship soon?"
If Victor could summon up some witty retort, some bit of banter, it would all be normal again... but nothing came. Silence passed between them, and the illusion to which they were clinging shattered, leaving behind nothing but a need for answers.
Victor bit his lip hard, using the pain to keep himself grounded. "BB," he said, wishing his voice would stop shaking, "Why would you hide something like that from us? From me? I can kind of understand not wanting to tell everybody, but you already know I'm not gonna think any less of you, no matter what."
"Dude," his best friend said just above a whisper, "The only reason Raven found out was cause she was right there. If she hadn't seen me like that, I'd probably have ended up begging the Martian Manhunter to do the brain wipe in secret."
Victor snorted. "Oh yeah, cause that would have been so much smarter. I swear, B, sometimes you can be such an idiot."
"I know that, okay?" the changeling snapped. "I'm not saying it would have been smart; I'm just trying to explain what's going on in my screwed up head as much as I can figure it out. This whole thing makes me want to crawl into a hole and never come out again, but I know I have to keep going because you guys are counting on me." His ears drooped, and he lowered his gaze to the console. "And now you're worried that I didn't trust you. But the issue was never not trusting you; this is about me being broken and not knowing how to deal with it."
"That right there is what best friends are for, Beast Boy. Seriously. You have a problem, you're too close to it, you come to me, I help you figure it out. Then you do the same for me when I'm the one in trouble. That's how it's always been. Remember?"
Gar shook his head. "This isn't about us, Vic, you and me and what I should do, or what I would do if I had any control over my mind right now. When I get like that, I'm not even behind the wheel anymore; I'm along for the ride and I see it all coming at me and there's absolutely nothing I can do to stop it... and then I come out the other end wishing I wasn't too weak to do something while it was happening." Moisture swam in his eyes, and he dashed it away with a sleeve. "I just wanna be me again, cause right now I'm not. All I am now is scared."
Shame soaked into Victor's chest; even with a robotic torso, the feeling was the same as it had always been. "I'm sorry, Grass Stain," he said when he could dig up the words. "I'm just... I'm worried about you, and I wanna help, but I don't know what to do."
A gloved hand came to rest on Victor's forearm. "This first part, me and Raven are gonna have to do alone. But after that, I'm gonna need your help in a big way." The changeling's brow furrowed. "I'll forget a lot of things... some really important things. And you have to help me remember, cause you know me the best out of anybody."
Victor cracked the tiniest of smirks. "You're mostly talkin' about you and Raven, aren't ya?" A quick sequence punched into his forearm, and the appendage projected an image he'd been keeping handy for just the right moment: a valentine heart that was half carved from a book and half covered in fur.
A pained expression settled on his buddy's face; the teasing had backfired. "Yeah. Kinda figured you'd notice. And... if she's right about the effects of this spell, I'm not just gonna forget that we're sort of maybe dating; I may even stop feeling this way about her for a while. If that happens, I can't just leave myself a note saying 'Hey, you're actually in love with Raven.' The feelings have to grow back on their own, or they're not gonna last. She's shoved that off for now cause she has to, and she'll keep acting strong even after she's done with the spell, but I know it's gonna hurt her... I'm gonna hurt her, and I won't even realize it."
"There's nothing you can do about it, B," the older boy said gently, laying a hand on Gar's shoulder. "Raven can talk to the rest of us about it, though."
A deep sigh caused Victor's hand to rise and fall. "She doesn't want the others to know we're a couple now. Says it'll make it harder to go back to how it has to be if everyone already knows what we were. You figured it out on your own, but you'll have to decide whether you should tell her or not." Gar scrubbed a worried hand over his face. "Either way, I need you to take her mind off it a little, maybe invite her down to the garage more often... and if I'm being a butt to her, go ahead and tell me off. Just kinda keep me pointed in the right direction, make sure things eventually get back to how they should be."
"I will, BB. Don't worry."
The changeling gave a nod and swallowed hard. "Thanks, Cy. It really means a lot to me."
Refusing to give up on his quest for a smile, Victor gave the green boy a nudge. "So... how's about I set up a little bit of matchmakin' from Big Daddy Victor the Love Doctor?"
The half-robot's efforts finally paid off as a pair of fangs appeared. "Dude, you seriously need to pick a better name. And yeah, a little bit's good; just don't go overboard with it. I'm sure I'll end up falling for her again on my own sooner or later, but a little push can't hurt."
Victor wiggled his eyebrow. "You always were a sucker for tall, dark and mysterious."
Tilting his head, Gar brought a finger up to scratch above one ear. "Uh, Raven's not really all that tall..."
"Taller than you, Tofu Breath," he retorted. "Betcha all that soy junk you eat stunts your growth so you'll never get taller than her." A wicked grin slid onto his face. "Say, what if you forget you don't eat meat, andI 'forget' to remind you?"
Gar snickered. "You, give up our morning arguments just so you'd have another person taking part in your murdalization and munching of innocent critters? I doubt it."
