Chapter 3 : The Aloneness


Hands everywhere on me. They were making pain. On my legs, my arms, my head, my heart. I couldn't scream, only because i knew no one could hear. No one would care. Not even Harry, Ron, Ginny. No one. The pain was becoming more unbearable.

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't remember them, i wanted to get away. Leave.

I could only… see…

Dark night. It only thing… that.. was at the other end.

The end was…I don't kno… know…

It was all black, dark, alone in thought. I could only hear a single breathe. A single heart beat.

Dump. Dump.

In…. Out… In… out…. In... Out..

I disappeared.

~'~'~'~'~'~

"GET UP, BITCH!" The guard yelled. Everything was a blur, and everything was dark. My legs ached. It felt like they weren't used for a months.. no years I don't know how long i was locked up. I couldnt believe it. It just felt… Felt like i was walking for hours. Endless, Beginningless. But only in my sleep.

I struggled to get on my feet, wanting to fall. The air was so dense. i was panting to keep awake. It was dusk? or was it dawn? I don't remember. I even forgot how the sun feels, was it warm or hot, i didn't hold a meaning anymore. Can i just die there, now? Well, it's what faith has in hold for me.

I limped on my heavy chains. My life was draining, i was going to die. But no. He, instead shoved me into a opening, the gate. The gate of what? …. The dungeon. I was a prisoner.

The walk was too long. It was hard to bear. It was pain. It was shame. Everything was reeling back into my mind, memories, dreams, nightmares!... This was my nightmare. This was how i was going to die. This was how i was going to lose. To death, to faith, to myself. It was battle between life and death. I could see my path, rocky, cold, stale. Alone.

The wooden doors opened. The light was only parched through the halls, the room was isolated, small but i could feel it was big…

Inside was cold, dark, millions hooded men stood waiting, their aura was weak, fragile. I could picture a single wooden chair placed in the middle of the whole emptiness beneath the marble, it was something that was bothering me. Besides death.

Above was ice. Millions of coldness shadows, dementors. They were flowing and gasping for their happiness, but they were silent, resisting to a something…. No… Someone. The chains on my hands were cold, heavy, they cling to my flesh, rubbing them were probably bloody. From time to time, i could hear them cling together, metal, these were not magic. My feet were bare, each step seems to linger with ice, only if i could see the fire. Even if the feeling of warmth, i could burn the whole place down to ashes! Millions of ashes, broken dreams!

I could feel the floor, slippery but wracked from the scratches. The magic was probably gone from the time they fought war. They feared many but they couldn't fear me. They needed power, they need lies to cover who they were.

Everything was cold. Dark, no shades, no grey, just black. I couldn't see. They have blinded my eyes. They hated the sight, they hated the colour. They hated me.

Each step was my death sentence.

I was pushed to sit on the chair. Then my legs were chained to the chair. Cold hands were rushed. "Take your time." I whispered harshly. The man stopped, i knew was going to happen next. A painful slap washed over my left cheek, my dirt filth hair was wiped across my redden cheek. It didn't hurt, I didn't even flinch. I didnt want to satisfy him. It was just like a pinch. I could feel most of the hatred in the slap. Hatred. Was that what they wanted me to experience? The hate? Or was it that i was him, a part of him. It was like the coldness was enforcing the blood to only pump to my chest. Nowhere else. The feeling, of warmth, revenge built up inside me. My heart wanted this, it wanted me to live through this, even if i was going to die on spot. My blood wanted to live this, i was made for this! WHAT WAS I MADE FOR?

The guard continued to strap and chained me to the chair. The chains and locks felt continuous, all wrapped in my horror.

Keeping me to stay where I should stay. On the ground. Mutters of spelled around me, i felt snakes of smaller chains slim over my body. It was becoming heavy as hell!

"Fuck this shite.." I swore under my breathe. The chains tighten at the point, the guard's hands tugged upon my skin. I cried a whimper. They restrained me tight that my hands and feet grew numb. They were put millions of pound on me? What for?

SO I CAN'T FUCKING KILL YOU?!

I resisted the urge to spit, fuck you, in his face. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath, calming myself down. It felt hopeless, surrounded by killers.

The chaining, chanting finally came to an end. And my fear began to rise.

"Begin." The words came out as a deep shudder, but calm.

A higher and more.. happy voice spoke. A different person, i thought.

"HAHAHAA! WE MIGHT GO MAD? ARE WE NOT?" There was a silent pause. What the hell was that, a joke? Piss ant. That was a lousy joke. Fred and George could of have made a better one. But to my surprise the people, laughed.

"You got to be kidding…" I splatted quietly.

"WE FRIENDS ARE HERE TO BRING THIS TO A END OR SHALLI?" I imagined him pointing at me. Footsteps came closer, each quieter, softer. A cold hand held my chin up, it was a soft touch. But i could feel the hatred. "This is! OUR KEY TO MADNESS!"

"Fuck off!" I yelled. "I know nothing!" I roughly jerked away from the touch in disgust. I expected a slap but i no longer waited when the man moved.

"Are you certain?" Now it seemed his face was right in front of mine. His breath was warm, it briefly brushed my cheek. Whispers muttered in the back.

"Of course I am, brainless!" It was then i felt a scorching hot... thing?! Touching my arm, I urged to move away. BUt but i couldn't

"FUCK YOU!" I yelled, i struggled to in the chair. All the chains and weigths were getting on my nerves. After the outburst, i had to contain myself. BUT STILL! I wanted to rip his face off! LITERALLY, RIP IT OFF AND WATCH HIM DIE! Only if I COULD FUCKING SEE!

"Very well then." His was still pleasant and calm. It was ticking me off. My blood boiling through my veins; it was making me feel hot and feverish. I had the distinct feeling that everyone was watching me. Lots of people staring and a good deal of whispers behind his back. Ah, but fuck that! just the satisfaction of sitting in a fucking chair and say all the things i said was worth a suspension and more. Everything i have that was harboring inside, in my chest would be out.

Everything around felt blurred, even though i knew there was other in here. It was like it was only me and him.

Just me and fucking him! "Kill ME!" I YELLED!


I was useless, right?...

Hermione, i'm sorry, i couldn't save you. IT'S ALL MY FUCKING FAULT!

I let you die, i let you cry, i let you go. Everyones leaving me, no one can trust me. Am i always the bad one?

MERLIN, WHY WHY! Just why her, not me. Why. Why. Why. I'm sorry

Harry Potter, laid there all quiet and pleasant. He wasn't going to give up was he?


A/N: I KNOW I CANT WRITE BUT I TRIED TO MAKE IT REALLY DRAMATIC. SO PLEASE DO REVIEW OR COMMENT WITH ADVISE