Chapter 5


Now that Hermione was all clean and smell-free, Sirius immediately picked her up.

"Now Devil," he said, "It's time for formal introductions."

"This old man here," he pointed at Remus, pointedly ignoring his glare, "is Moony."

"Mooey," Hermione pronounced after him.

"And how is this formal introduction?" Remus asked.

"Yes, Mooey," Sirius snickered, ignoring Remus' question, "This is Prongs."

"Pongs," Hermione muttered.

"Right," Sirius pointed to himself, "I am the handsome Padfoot."

"Pafoo," Hermione said, looking expectantly at Sirius.

Remus and James howled with laughter as Sirius scowled. "Pafoo, right," James said, wiping tears of mirth.

Hermione laughed and clapped seeing the two Marauders laughing. Sirius put the girl down, scowling.

"I am telling you," he said, "This girl has some secret vendetta against me."

"Sure, mate" Remus said, controlling his laughter.

Sirius donned apron and started preparing breakfast – cereal and omelettes.

"This is not proper breakfast," James whined once table was laid.

"This is no Hogwarts," Sirius said, "So, if you don't want to die of hunger, you'll have this."

"See, Devil," Remus talked to Hermione, "How bad a cook Padfoot is."

Hermione looked at the food and then at Sirius and nodded her head vigorously. "Bad Pafoo." She giggled.

"Stop pitting her against me," Sirius said, folding his arms across his chest. James used the moment to steal Sirius' omelette.

"Oye!" Sirius cried but it was too late; both Remus and James had gulped down the omelettes, leaving nothing but empty plates.

Sirius stuck his tongue at his friends. "Very mature," Remus commented.

"What!" Sirius said, huff, "I cook and get nothing."

Hermione wriggled herself free from Remus' grip, who put her on table. On all fours, she crawled towards Sirius, who was still sulking.

"Pafoo," she called, reaching to him. When he didn't respond, she placed something on his plate. Sirius stole a glance. It was a small piece of omelette Remus had given her to eat. Sirius was moved.

Smiling, he picked her up. "Thank you, Hermione."

Hermione gave him a toothy grin. "Fank oo." She repeated.

"I'll tell you how to teach lesson to two insensitive pranksters," Sirius muttered to Hermione. James and Remus schooled their features to the most innocent ones. "I will make you the best Marauder there is."

"Uh-oh," Remus said, feigning panic, "I will not let you spoil my little devil."

"We will not listen to Mommy," Sirius said to Hermione, who was paying full attention to Sirius.

"Mama," Hermione whispered.

"Uh-oh," three voices muttered.

Hermione was looking around. "Mama," she called out. "MAMA!"

Sirius looked at James in panic, who immediately got up and picked up Hermione. She had started crying. James took her out of the kitchen whispering something.

Sirius had the look a guilty carries. "It's okay, Padfoot," Remus consoled him.

"I made her cry," Sirius said sadly.

"Maybe you did," Remus said, "But she is bound to miss her parents. We have to tell her the truth."

"And what do you think will a one-year old make out of it?" Sirius countered.

"There are ways to tell the truth," Remus simply answered. "Something she understands."

Sirius muttered under his breath, something along the lines of 'bloody writers', promptly ignored by Remus.


"Alright, it's bath time, Devil," Remus announced to the little girl in his arms.

Remus was currently headed to bathroom with a spare towel in one hand and Hermione in other. Since, Sirius had made breakfast and James had changed her diaper, it came to Remus to bathe her.

All pleas from Remus were ignored.

"As if changing diaper is a big deal," Remus muttered, "And that wasn't even proper breakfast."

"Bekfas," Hermione repeated.

"Bloody idiots," Remus cursed, forgetting that Hermione was good at catching words.

"Budy idos," Hermione repeated loudly.

"Oh damn!"

"Oh dam." Hermione laughed.

"No, no," Remus shook his head. "Look, Devil," he lifted her to his eye level, "You'll not repeat these words. Bad words. Okay?"

"Budy idos," Hermione answered, "Dam."

Remus slapped his forehead. How many more blunders before he finishes his task?


Half an hour had passed and there was no sign of Remus and Hermione. Deciding to find the cause of delay, James headed to the bathroom.

Noise greeted him as he neared the bathroom. The door was slightly ajar. Pushing it aside, James witnessed the scene which made it difficult for him to stifle his laugh.

Remus, half dressed, fully drenched in water and foam, was crawling after Hermione. And a very naked Hermione was running like a drunken all around the bathroom.

"Caught you," Remus said, panting, pinning Hermione in his arms, "Little Devil." Hermione laughed in response.

A flash made Remus turn towards the source. James and Sirius were standing in the doorway. Sirius with a camera and James with a grin.

"What?" Remus asked defensively. Sirius continued clicking photographs.

"Nothing," James said, "I am just trying to figure out who is giving bath to whom."

Remus flushed. "She is a hyper kid," Remus said by the way of explaining.

"No problem, Moony," Sirius said, clicking a photo of Hermione splashing water. "We got an excellent photograph of yours and Hermione."

"You didn't," Remus was horrified.

"We did," James said smugly.

"I'll kill you, both," Remus roared.

"Love you too, Remus," Sirius and James blew a kiss at Remus before running out of bathroom.

"Bloody hell," Remus yelled.

"Budy hell," Hermione copied.

"Shit!" Remus groaned.

"Shit," Hermione repeated happily.

Remus slapped his forehead. Wasn't he doing it a lot today?