"Happy thirteenth birthday!" Nao exclaimed, bursting into Naruto's room. Keitaro ran past her, pouncing on the sleeping boy to give his face a thorough licking.
"Ugh! Gross! Get out Keitaro!" he yelled, pushing the frisky two year old pup away from his face.
The dog was as much of an antsy, active teenager as Naruto. He just liked to wake up earlier in the morning than his master who preferred to sleep until noon on days when there was no school. Naruto was sleeping more than usual and some days it was nearly impossible to drag him out of the bed. Waking him up for school was an absolute battle. When he was finally awake, he was a nonstop force of nature that showed no signs of tiring until he practically passed out from exhaustion at night. Arduous studying and grueling training had propelled him to the top of his class. He had even surpassed the highly intelligent, naturally gifted Sasuke Uchiha. What came easy to Sasuke had required twice the effort for Naruto, but all of the self-imposed stress on his mind and strain on his body had been worthwhile. The hard-won accomplishments became even more meaningful when he had seen the expression of gape mouthed shock on the Uchiha's face. Sasuke's already light-colored skin had turned a ghastly gray color and his usually narrow eyes had widened to big round circles as they looked at the board listing the rankings of the students in their class. Disbelief and envy along with anger had taken hold of Naruto's scholastic opponent when Sasuke made the startling revelation that he had been outdone by the boy he had been deemed as a loser long ago. Anger turned to resentment when the Uchiha prodigy had no choice but to acknowledge Naruto and the fact that the person he had ignored, the team-mate he had despised, and fellow student he had haughtily dismissed, was officially better than him mentally and physically. The proof had been in writing right in front of them for everyone in the school to see. After that was when the fights had begun. The fights were not only between Naruto and Sasuke but every other male member of the class as well. They all acted as if they had something to prove by challenging him to a physical altercation. The only people who did not pick a fight with him were the few good friends he had made years ago and had kept throughout school.
Naruto groaned and rolled over, wrapping himself in his blanket. His body ached and his face hurt from the skirmish he had gotten into at the party at Sakura's house last night. They were drawing close to the end of the school year so a different person was throwing a party each weekend to celebrate. It also helped relieve the anxiety and pent-up energy incurred during the week from studying and taking tests. Last night Sakura had been coming onto him pretty heavily and would not leave him alone. When he continued to refuse her advances, a fellow classmate accused him of being in a 'wrong' relationship with Nao to explain his disinterest in Sakura and to insult him at the same time . He was not sure if it was guilt from the longings he had been having for her or the public disparagement of the woman he loved, but whatever the reason, he had commenced to beat the living hell out of the boy twice his size. Unfortunately, he had not remained unscathed. He had received a black eye and a busted lip which was nothing in comparison to the damage than he had doled out to his opponent. The scuffle had ended when he had broken the bigger boy's lower leg bones, both the tibia and the fibula, with one well placed kick.
"Are you all right?" Nao asked Naruto when he did not move. She pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead, willing herself to remain calm. Sighing loudly without trying to hide her hurt or disappointment, she immediately took another deep breath to tamp down her anger. Her last nerve was about to break from him constantly ignoring her and avoiding her. He was no longer her sweet little boy. He was officially an adolescent pain in the ass.
"I'm fine. Please, go away," his muffled voice requested from inside his fabric cocoon.
"Okay. Your cake is on the table if you want to get up and get a piece," she told him, backing out of his room. She conveyed her agitation in a not so subtle manner by slamming the door to his room so hard that it shook the wall and caused the awards that he had received for academic excellence to fall off of the shelf where he kept them.
"Dammit," Naruto growled, painfully aware that she was upset. He had not wanted to hurt her feelings; he had just wanted her to go away. It was better for him and for her if she did not see that his face had recently been used as a punching bag. If only she could see the other guy, he thought to himself. He smirked, laughing a bit at the thought. Hissing in pain when a tearing sensation went through his damaged lip, he raised his fingers to gingerly touch it to check if he had reopened the wound. No blood. That was good. Rolling onto his back, he placed his hands behind his head to stare at the ceiling and think.
Life had become excessively confusing for him. His success at school had gone far beyond what he could have thought possible for him. Nao had believed in him, pushed him, and aggravated him to help him reach this point. Sometimes he contemplated what it was all for and if it was really worth it. Due to his accomplishments, he had unintentionally started a war between himself and his jealous classmates. There had also been some rumors started about the nature of his relationship with Nao that was true only in his dreams. With hormones raging and his ties to her being questioned constantly, he was willing to kick anyone's ass who dared to perpetuate the rumors. It seemed as if everyday he was confronted by something, a physical taunt or verbal slight, that he would respond to with a flurry of fists and pain for the culprit. He knew he was disappointing Nao with his behavior but some things needed an immediate and violent response. She just did not understand what he was going through at all. He felt as if he could not talk to her about any of it mostly because part of his problem was her. Sometimes he was so angry he did not care how much he hurt her by shutting her out. If only she knew how she was upsetting him by invading his mind, dominating his dreams, and exciting him in ways she should not. So what if it was nothing she was doing on purpose? It was still happening - a lot. And he would never admit any of it to her or anyone else. He had been keeping it all to himself lately, not trusting anyone - even the men who had been his confidantes before.
Naruto curled onto his side, hugging his pillow to his body. He closed his eyes because they ached. The last thing he wanted at this moment was to hear was a long and loud lecture from Nao which would literally add insult to injury. For the first time in his life, he absolutely hated to hear her voice sometimes especially when she scolded him as if he were a child. When she went out to make the deliveries today, he would get out of bed, eat a piece of his birthday cake, and find somewhere to go to stay away from her. Guilt washed over him before dissipating quickly. It had been her decision to take over his responsibility so there was no reason to feel guilty. She had suggested doing it so that he would have more time to study and practice. It had been her idea not his. Maybe he would visit Kiba and Akamaru today. He and Keitaro both could relax and have some fun while steering clear of Nao.
~...~
Later that day, Nao knocked on Iruka's door. She had chosen to make his delivery the last one for the day. Swinging the basket she held in her hands, she waited impatiently for him to answer the door after she knocked a second time. She was not sure why she was in a hurry to get home but she was. The house would most likely be empty. Even the darn dog would be gone. With a dejected sigh, her eyes lowered to the ground and she traced the edge of the welcome mat with the toe of her flat black shoe. She had brought his usual order of honey and green tea along with cinnamon and a few other spices. All she could think about was Naruto. Her mind was desperately trying to unravel the mystery he had become. He had become reclusive, angry, and irritable. He acted as if he hated her. On some days when his attitude was particularly deplorable, she came close to requesting that he leave her house and find his own damn way to make it in the world. But it had become his house too. They had made it a home by becoming their own kind of special little family. The unconditional love she held for him prevented her from sending him away.
"Nao? Are you all right?" Iruka asked, touching her shoulder when she did not respond to him opening the door. He jumped back when she flinched violently.
"What?" she queried, her eyes displaying the bewilderment she felt. She had been so inundated by her ponderings that she had been completely unaware of when he had answered the door.
"Come inside," he invited her, taking her by the arm. "I'll make you a cup of tea. You look like you could use it."
I could use something much stronger. A bottle or two of sake might take off the edge, she thought to herself, willingly accepting his offer of tea. Perhaps it would help if she distracted herself with a little pleasant company. She had grown tired of being by herself, only having the occasional interactions with customers at the shop and while making deliveries. Her eyes darted around his house inquisitively because she had never been inside of it before. It was small and sparsely furnished like one would expect of bachelor. Unlike a single man's abode, it was meticulously clean and tidy with everything in its place. It had a warm and cozy quality to it that she had not been expecting. He was a quiet man full of surprises. When he led her into the kitchen, she reached into her basket to set his items on the counter. Glancing at her host, she smiled to see how wonderfully domestic he was as he expertly moved about the kitchen.
"Have a seat while I get the tea ready," he told her in his soft, kind voice.
Nao put her basket on the floor at her feet after sitting down in one of the straight-backed wooden chairs. Her eyes drifted to the window where she watched two squirrels chase each other around the thick trunk of the tree in his back yard. Her mind wandered again. When Naruto was younger, she would sometimes chase him around the back yard. She would catch him, tickling him until the both of them were laughing so hard they could barely breathe. A sad smile touched her lips. She could not stop thinking about the blonde who had become a ghost in her life. Where was he right now? What could he be doing? Why was he acting this way?
"Here," Iruka said, pushing the cup into her hand.
"Thank you," she mumbled, grasping the cup with both hands. The warmth of the steaming liquid was a sad substitute for the warmth she was missing in her life. No more random hugs or aimless exploring together or long talks about everything and nothing at all once. She felt so alone and bereft not having her blond companion with her constantly like he used to be. He had become a part of her. Was he a part of her life she was about to lose? A wistful sigh passed her lips without her noticing.
"What's wrong?" Iruka asked, sitting in the chair across from her. "Is it Naruto?"
"Yes," she answered a tad too abruptly. Pausing to get her emotions under control, she sipped the tea sweetened with honey. "I don't understand the way he has been acting lately. I don't know what to think...or feel."
"It's just part of being a teenager. He'll be all right. There's nothing wrong with a little rebellion. Besides, he feels like he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders right now," he told her, watching her stare into her cup as if the answer she was looking for were at the bottom. "Everyone's expectations of him are really high at the moment. Including yours."
"Is there anything else?" she inquired, taking a long sip of her tea. She felt as if she were being accused of something but she was not sure what. When did it become a bad thing that she wanted Naruto to be an astounding success in life? To prove to everyone in the village that he was much more then they ever gave him credit for being? Using great self-control, she did not say anything insulting in return to him. Instead she concentrated on the exquisite taste of the tea as it rushed over her tongue and slid down her throat to soothe her worn nerves.
"You'll never have your sweet little boy back," he told her, giving her a comforting smile when her sad eyes met his. "He's becoming a man. He's going to change. You've got to allow him the time to figure things out for himself."
Nao kept silent as the stab of emotional pain sent a physical jolt of discomfort through her entire body. The words hurt, but they were true. Time, patience, and understanding were things she had always given to Naruto without measure. However, in this rebellious state he had managed to find her limits, therefore she had become short in supply of all three. Time was the only thing she possessed in abundance but not for putting up with his present brand of bullshit. Her patience was wearing thin with his bad attitude and disappearing acts. Understanding - that she did not have at all because being a female she had no idea what it was like to become a man. Becoming a woman had been difficult for her at best and at worst there had been times when even she thought she had gone insane. Surely it had to be about the same experience for him, maybe worse. She would never know exactly how these changes were effecting him. She wanted to do what she could to help him make the difficult transition to adulthood. But what? Possibly the best way to offer her assistance was to stay away from him until he was done going through whatever he was going through.
"It will be okay. I promise," Iruka assured her, reaching across the table to take her hand in his. With his other hand, he touched her forehead to smooth out the worry lines that had formed there. "Naruto will be fine. And so will you."
Nao smiled at him. She did not feel like it would be okay, but she chose to believe him to comfort herself. The conversation turned to the matter of the upcoming culmination of the school year that would include a commencement ceremony. She had no idea what Naruto planned to do after school because he did not talk to her about ANYTHING. When she finished her tea, she stood up to leave. Her gracious host escorted her to the door, giving her a hug and chaste kiss on the forehead before she left. Although he sometimes hinted that he would like to be more, she could only see Iruka as a good friend. After waving good-bye at the end of his sidewalk, she hurried home.
No lights - Naruto was not home. This did not surprise her, but it did break her heart - again. She sighed sorrowfully while standing on the front porch at the locked front door. After letting herself inside, she walked through the house without turning on a light while making her way to the back porch. Sitting down on the swing, she kicked off with her foot to set it in motion. The pleasant, tranquil atmosphere of the closing of the day was settling over the village. The quiet was interrupted occasionally by a barking dog or a mother calling her children in to dinner. Clearing her mind of the thousands of questions swirling around, Nao drifted off to sleep as the swing swayed in the cool fall breeze while the sun sank below the horizon.
~...~
Naruto came home well after dark. He was surprised to see that there were no lights on in the house. Nao always left the light on in the shop for him. Fear set in immediately. Rushing in the front door, he was alarmed that it was not locked. He searched each room without finding her. When he could not find Nao, fear morphed into panic. Keitaro began barking from the kitchen. He ran to the kitchen to see the dog pawing and whining at the door that led onto the porch. Opening the door, he followed the dog who ran out in front of him. There she was - asleep in the swing. Catching Keitaro by the collar, he prevented the dog from licking her face to wake her up. Shushing him, he knelt down beside him to pet him in an attempt to keep the dog from barking.
"Good boy, good boy, Keitaro," he praised the dog, patting him on the back and head. He shooed the excited pooch back into the house. The last thing he wanted was for Nao to wake up and play a rousing game of twenty questions with him. Where have you been? What have you been doing? Who were you with? And on and on it would go.
Naruto moved to the swing, looking down at the sleeping woman. He touched her face gently with his fingertips before pressing his palm to her cheek. She was freezing cold and the dew had formed a wet blanket over her body from head to toe. Kneeling down next to the still swing, he pushed aside her hair that was dampened with the moisture to see her face. Her soft pink lips were pushed out in a pout in her present relaxed state. His thumb moved over her bottom lip which caused them to part slightly. Has she ever been kissed?, Naruto wondered silently. In all the time he had known her, Nao had never dated anyone - not even Iruka who was trying so desperately to make her his girlfriend. There was no way she could have been kissed by anyone. He had not received his first kiss yet either. If he had a choice, he would want his first kiss from her. Tracing her lips again, this time with his forefinger, he seriously considered kissing her. What if she woke up while his lips were pressed to hers? Oh, what the hell... Taking a deep breath to shore up his courage and act on sheer selfish desire, he touched his lips to hers. The contact was brief and feather light before his brain kicked into gear. What the hell was he doing? When he kissed her, he wanted her to know it - not steal it like a coward while she had no clue it had happened.
Blowing out the breath he had been holding, Naruto slid his arms under her body to lift her from the swing. He shifted her in his arms to get a more secure grip on her. For her small size, she was awfully heavy when unconscious. Her head lolled forward, fitting perfectly beneath his chin. Pushing open the cracked door with his foot, he carefully moved past the dog who seemed to be glaring at him disapprovingly. Keitaro followed him to Nao's room. The dog's nails made a clicking sound on the hardwood floor that sounded incredibly loud in the silence and darkness as Naruto moved stealthily to her room. He lowered her to the bed, accidentally dropping her the last few inches. Despite the rough treatment, she did not awaken.
"You must be really exhausted," he whispered, kissing her forehead. "I didn't know I was making you worry so much."
Keitaro chuffed with displeasure when his master's lips moved closer to Nao's. He pressed his cold wet nose to Naruto's cheek pushing him away as he edged his furry body between theirs. The dog lay down next to her, making himself a living obstacle to separate the two people.
"Traitor," Naruto muttered under his breath, standing to his feet. He walked out of the door to go to him room. After closing his door, he leaned against it, sliding down to the floor. With his head in his hands, he murmured, "I'm sorry, Nao. I'm so sorry. Give me just a little longer to figure this out. I really do love you...probably more than I should."
~...~
The next morning, Naruto thought he was alone so he went to the kitchen to get something to eat. Yawning like a lion, he stumbled into the kitchen half asleep where what he saw made him freeze in his tracks. He saw Nao standing at the sink. Staring at her back and unable to speak, he noted the sag of her shoulders and the way her body shook. She was crying. His chest tightened, and he found it difficult to breathe. If he had to guess why, he would say that she was crying because of him.
"Why are you just standing there? Don't you have somewhere to go to avoid me?" she demanded without turning around to look at him. The fury and pain were evident in her shaky voice.
"Nao, I - " But what could he possibly say? Since there were no words, he went to her. Putting his hand on her shoulder, he felt her body immediately stiffen under his touch. Without giving in to his first instinct to withdraw his hand, he clamped his hand down on her shoulder to spin her around to face him. Before she could speak or slap him, he enclosed her body tightly with his arms in a bear hug. Despite being trapped firmly in his embrace, she twisted and pushed to extricate herself but he held onto her so she could not run away from him. They were the same height now but he was much stronger than her. Evenso, holding onto her was like trying to hang on to a cornered and terrified wild cat.
"Let me go! Let me go!" she screamed, beating on his chest with her fists.
"No! I won't! Not until you tell me what's wrong!" he yelled back at her, constricting his arms around her.
Nao could barely breathe he was squeezing her so tightly. She stopped moving, dropping her head forward onto his chest. "It's not fair!" she squalled, tears running down her face. "You run away without ever talking to me. Why can't I do the same?"
"Nao, what do I need to do? Tell me what to do," he implored her, resting his chin on her shoulder.
"Don't shut me out of your life. I want to be a part of it," she sniffled, relaxing in his arms.
"I want you to be a part of it," he responded, burying his nose in her hair. Inhaling deeply, his apprehension was soothed by her signature scent of lavender and vanilla. His whole body felt tingly and light as if every nerve ending were standing on end. Just what kind of role did he want her to play in his life? Her time of being a mother figure to him had ran its course relatively quickly and was long gone. He called her Big Sister, but he was consumed with thoughts inappropriate for a sibling. Then again, she was not actually related to him at all so what was the big deal? But he was too young for her to take him seriously as anything more at this time. Why did all of this have to be so damn difficult and endlessly baffling? There was something he needed to know for sure. Turning his head to position his lips close to her ear, he asked, "Tell me why you cry so much."
Nao could not find it within herself to be brutally honest at this time. Although her main reason for crying herself to sleep was because of him, she would not tell him. He was already dealing with enough at this time. She refused to be the cause of anymore misery for him. Taking a deep breath, she leaned into him while keeping her head down as she spoke. "Women cry for a lot of reasons. We cry because we're happy. We cry because we're sad. Sometimes we're not even sure why we cry."
"I don't understand," he responded, lifting his head from her shoulder. "And you didn't answer my question...why do you cry?"
Nao slowly lifted her chin so her eyes could meet his that were so full of questions. She smiled despite the tears that had gathered in the corners of her shiny green eyes. "I don't expect you to understand. The reasons don't matter anyway. The best thing you can do when a woman cries is to hold her...allow her to cry. Don't ask questions and don't try to fix things. When she is ready, she will tell you what's wrong. Until then, love her. Let her know that you love her."
"Nao," Naruto whispered, loosening his grip on her. "I need you to do that for me as well."
The thing he needed from her was so simple that she had missed it completely. Not everything has an easy solution. Some things just have to be worked through. Nao gazed deeply into his eyes. There was an emotion there that she could not comprehend. It was so intense, so strong that it made her belly flutter and her heart beat faster. Pressing her hand to his cheek, for the first time she noticed what Iruka had pointed out to her. Naruto was becoming a man. His cheek was beginning to lose the roundness of childhood. His jaw was becoming more square and masculine. Within a few months he would probably be taller than her when his body took another growth spurt. She had willfully chosen to ignore the inevitable and the obvious: he was growing up, changing, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. "Oh, Naruto," she gasped, flinging her arms around his neck. "No wonder you've been so angry with me."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you," he apologized, his arms winding around her waist.
"There's no need to apologize. This is just something we never expected and don't know how to deal with it," she rejoined, looking more closely at his face. She could see the anxiety tighten his facial muscles when she stepped back to study him carefully.
Nao's thumb traced the bruise that darkened the skin under his left eye and across his cheekbone. The gash on his lower lip caught her attention next. She put her hands on either side of his head to hold him still while she got a better look at it. That explains why he had been avoiding her; he knew she would have griped at him for hours had she known what was happening. "I'm sorry too. I should have been there for you. I should have allowed you to come to me with anything...any problem. But I didn't...I didn't..."
Naruto reached for her when he saw the tears fall from her eyes. He was following her advice: he was holding her while she cried without asking questions. Using one hand to stroke her back, he kept her cuddled to his body as she sobbed. Once her body stopped shaking, he loosened his hug to give her the option to stay in his arms or leave to walk away. His hand pressed against her cheek, tipping her face up to him when she did not move.
"It will be all right. I'll be all right," he murmured, his brow furrowing questioningly when she laughed mirthlessly.
"I had someone else tell me that too," she explained, patting his chest with her hand. Kissing his cheek, she chuckled sincerely this time before telling him, "I believe you, and I believe in you."
"You always have," he responded, squeezing her before releasing her. One day he would tell her exactly how he feels. When the time was right, when he was older and could make her his, he would tell her everything. For the time being, he would keep that secret to himself. For now, she would be his Big Sister.
