Tanaka stood in silence in the garage, skinless. Already he had run scans on every living thing he could find; incidentally, there were forty seven examples of the Asian Cockroach, six mice of unknown species, and two large centipedes in addition to the more common household pests such as spiders and flies, present in the garage. Also incidentally, each specimen was now assigned a number; the grayish mouse with the notched ear was Unit 0002. and the smaller mouse that was almost black was Unit 0006. Also, the centipedes were Units 0101 and 0102, respectively.
If Tanaka were capable of it, he would have sighed.
Being a fairly advanced robot, Tanaka was extremely knowledgeable on certain subjects; but, being nothing but a fairly advanced robot, Tanaka was also clueless about the nuances of human interaction and thought processes. So it was that when 'Gotokuji-nii-san' opened his garage in the morning after an all night future-robot-invasion-movie-marathon and found a giant killer robot waiting inside, he screamed and stumbled backward, tripped over the bottom of the door frame behind him, and bumped his head. When the man woke up seven point eight-one minutes later and saw Tanaka kneeling over him, he almost fainted again.
"Vital signs are good. Subject Gotokuji-nii-san has experienced an unexplained loss of consciousness," Tanaka said helpfully.
"T-Tanaka-san…is that you?" the man asked hesitantly as he sat up. He had met him the other day and recognized that face instantly…he had seen them several times during the festival five years ago. He had been ready to turn him in to the robotics club or the police or someone, but his energetic young friend had practically begged him for help, and he couldn't bring himself to tell her no. He frowned as he realized just how creepy that last thought had seemed...
"Correct. I am Tanaka Unit 1125, created by—"
"Ok, you don't need to go over that again." They sat facing each other for a moment, neither knowing what to say.
"So…what happened to your skin?"
"Subject Inoueai removed external layer for cleaning purposes."
"I see…" That made sense. The robot's skin had been filthy at best. Gotokuji just hadn't been aware that it was removable, or he wouldn't have been so shocked. "So, you're not gonna go insane and start shooting people or breaking walls or anything, right?" he asked warily, watching Tanaka from the corner of his eye.
"That is not in my programming."
"That's good."
Awkward silence.
"Well, I was going to ask you for some help at the shop, but you can't go like that…have Ai-chan talk to me when she comes back, ok?"
"Understood."
"Well…see ya later, Tanaka-san."
The robot raised a hand like Gotokuji-nii-san had shown him and watched him go before returning to his spot in the garage. After a moment, a small rodent scurried across the floor.
"Subject Unit 0006 located. Observation initiated."
"Youko-san," Negi chided gently as Inoue Ai entered the dorm lobby after school. "I know you enjoy pranks, but this is simply too much."
Youko just slouched on her chair, looking off to the side with a bored expression, acting as if she barely heard her teacher speaking.
"Negi-kun? Youko-san? What happened?" Ai asked as she slowed to a halt, her eyes straying to the teacher's face. It should be illegal for someone to look that good…and supposedly he was just fifteen! He looked more like eighteen or nineteen at least.
"Someone played a prank on Shizuna-sensei," Youko said, grinning in spite of her best efforts in a cat-that-ate-the-canary sort of way at the thought. Shizuna-sensei was one of the best prank-stoppers on campus, and anyone who considered themselves a prankster had to have her firmly in their sights.
"A prank?"
"Yes," Negi said. "Someone left…well…a skin suit in one of the washing machines downstairs—"
"What!"
Oh, she had done it now. Because of her little outburst, both of them had their attention focused directly on her now, and she had trouble thinking when Negi-sensei looked at her. Youko, for her part, looked at Ai with eyes bright and probing. The prankster had a quickly growing grin glued to her face as well.
"Inoue-san? Is something wrong?" Negi asked.
"Ah…n-no, nothing. Can I see the skin?" 'Calm down, calm down.' Was there a part in some play that featured a cool, collected character? She couldn't recall any at the moment.
"Well, I suppose. I don't think they've burned it yet…" the teacher said thoughtfully.
"Okay, so I did it," Youko said suddenly, startling both Ai and the teacher. "What's my punishment this time?"
Negi gave her a sad look as he answered."Well…Shizuna-sensei thinks your time outside your dorm room should be limited to school or club activities only, after which you would return straight to your room." He paused to let that sink in, and could tell by the startled expression on Youko-san's face that it had. "However, as your teacher, it is better for me to pronounce your punishment. I have decided that you will serve on the cleaning crew until summer break."
"Eh…that's it? I mean, okay, I understand," Youko replied. She couldn't help but catch the guilty look on her roommate's face, though. 'So it was her? She doesn't seem the type to be pulling pranks,' she thought.
Ai excused herself and rushed around back, where one of the janitors was shoveling trash into the incinerator. Sure enough, there was Tanaka-san's skin, jumbled up in a trash bag that had fallen off the pile. The janitor scooped up the bag and headed for the incinerator.
"Ah, wait…!" Ai shouted as she ran. "Don't do that!"
"Janitor-kun, stop!" a woman's voice commanded. The janitor froze in place as Ai looked around for the other speaker until she spotted the woman leaning on the back wall of the dorm. "Hello," the woman said, grinning in a way that could only be called mischievous.
"Hello," Ai replied. The woman was certainly odd…a body with just the right amount of stuff *there* and *there* but not thin enough to be a model, long dark hair, glasses, and two hair antennae to top it off. "Who…?"
"Saotome Haruna, ace manga artist and all around perfect woman. Who are you?" the woman asked, grinning her strange grin.
"My name is Inoue Ai," the girl replied. She felt like a mouse standing before a snake that may or may not strike; the woman's grin intensified. "It's a pleasure to meet you," Ai added, bowing politely.
"Likewise. Now, why are you so interested in this, hmm?" the long haired woman probed as she walked over to the janitor, who remained still while she took the bag and shook its contents out on the ground. "Not quite the sort of thing a healthy young woman would be interested in, don't you think?" she asked. She knelt down and straightened the skin out on the ground. "Definitely not."
"I suppose not," Ai said, dropping into the role of a rather bored teenager. "I was just curious."
"Should I have Janitor-kun burn it then?"
"N-no, it seems like such a waste."
"I see…Do you want this?"
"I don't see why not, maybe I can find some use for it," Ai said, her careless tone exact, her bored shrug perfect, her false persona blatantly obvious.
"Okay then, you can have it. Just don't let it end up in any more washing machines overnight, 'kay?" the woman asked.
Ai unconsciously let her façade slip a bit as she knelt down to gather up Tanaka-san's skin. "So you're a manga artist? What manga do you draw?" she asked to break the awkward silence. Honestly, rolling this skin up was taking far too long; it kept wanting to unroll whenever she let go.
"Oh, I've done a few. 'Dog Boy Kojirou', 'Mahou Shounen Onion-sensei', 'Magical Girl Misa'…," the woman replied, puffing her chest out and grinning confidently. "A few one-shots and some doujins too. I have a wall table at the big seasonal conventions in Tokyo, too. Ah, before you ask, I use a different name for things like that; it helps keep crazed fans away, you know."
"Wow..." Ai kept up with all three of those; she liked the way the three stories were interwoven and so realistic in spite of their subject matter. She hadn't had any idea that the artist was here in Mahora, though. "I, ah, that's interesting," she said, trying and failing to fall back into character. She was simply too excited; this woman was the author of her three favorite manga…
Haruna grinned slyly. "If there happened to be some fan living around here, I might be happy to sign a few autographs, but since it doesn't seem anyone is around…"
"Ah…"
"I'm back, Tanaka-san~" Ai said as she all but floated through the door.
"Greetings."
"Guess who I saw?" Ai asked the robot, practically hopping in joy. She answered herself before he could formulate a reply. "I saw THE Saotome Haruna! Isn't that great?"
"Insufficient data."
"She's so cool and smart! She even signed something for me!" Ai said, pulling Tanaka-san's skin from the large garbage bag she carried in addition to a backpack. "See?"
The big robot simply looked at the woman's autograph on what, if he had been wearing his skin, would be his rear end. He looked back at the school girl and remained silent.
"What? It's the only thing I had! Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Requesting maintenance now."
"Okay, okay…let's see what I can do," Ai said, setting down a backpack full of old computer parts.
"Satomi~" Haruna said as she stepped into the other woman's apartment. "I have news for you."
The place was a mess; there were boxes stacked upon boxes everywhere, and what space wasn't taken up by boxes was full of computer equipment. The scientist honestly had no idea how to separate work from her home life, Haruna decided. She would have to get Nodoka and Yuecchi in here and drag Hakase out so they could get everything organized.
"Hmm…?" Hakase asked, popping up from behind a stack of boxes with her hair a mess; it had grown quite long since her middle school days. "I was asleep…What is it?" she asked as she pulled her hair back into a sloppy ponytail.
"Remember that Tanaka-san that you never found?"
"Unit 1125? Yeah. What, did someone finally dredge him up out of the river?" Hakase asked as she started to perk up.
Haruna dusted off a pile of boxes and took her time making herself comfortable. "I have reason to believe that one of Negi-kun's students found him," she finally said.
Hakase perked up even more at that. "Really? Which one?"
"I looked in his class roster, and I'm pretty sure her name is Inoue Ai," Haruna said, taking out her sketchbook. "Want to see a picture?"
The other girl was too distracted, however. "My prototype has finally been found…this is wonderful! I wonder how the synthetic skin is holding up? It was never designed to last so long, but then again we never thought they would be needed for more than a few months or a year at most," she said to herself. "Oh, wait, did you say something?" she finally asked.
"Yeah…here's a picture of the girl," Haruna said, flipping through the pages until she found the sketch she had made after the girl left her earlier in the day. "Here."
"I've never seen her before," Hakase said, glancing at the picture. "How did you find her?"
Haruna shrugged. "I was doing a favor for Negi-kun, burning some sensitive documents, when I found the skin in a bag just as Janitor-kun was about to throw it into the incinerator."
"'Janitor-kun?'" Hakase asked, an eyebrow raised.
Haruna took the sketchbook back and found the page with the unfortunately named sketch, and showed it to the scientist. "Huhuhu, the perfect worker for all of those ugly spills and random breakages," Haruna said as light reflected from her glasses.
"…yes. Well. In any case," Hakase said as she shifted, light flashing from her glasses as well. "I am most curious to discover what Unit 1125 has been doing these past six years. Most curious."
The two of them stood opposite each other, grinning like idiots as light flashed from their glasses, until Satsuki came in and started to make dinner so the absent-minded scientist wouldn't starve to death.
"I sense the urge to perform the action known as 'sneezing', Tanaka stated as he paused in the task of putting on his skin. "Records indicate this is a symptom of another subject speaking of oneself in a differing location."
"Hmm? Can you even do that? Sneeze, I mean," Inoue Ai asked absently from where she carefully placed the recently removed broken hard drives into a safe container for temporary storage. She wondered briefly if the replacements would work, and decided not to think too much about it. If they failed, she would just have to get something better.
"I cannot."
"Oh." She paused after a moment. "Give it a try anyway," she instructed.
"Understood. Ah, choo."
"No, do it more naturally."
"Atchoo."
"No, that's still too forced," she directed. "Put more of a pause between the syllables."
"Ah…choo."
"Nevermind," she said in defeat.
"Understood."
