THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE OVER THIS SHIT


"You can always stay with us, Yuka-nee!" Sparky grinned. "Then we can play baseball all the time!"

"Is baseball all you care about?" I rolled my eyes. "And besides, I can't go back to the orphanage. I might be underage, but once you're out, you're out. It's matter of pride."

"Is pride really all that important when you're about to be kicked out onto the street?" Kiba grinned at me, now back from the ice-cream stand and handing out popsicles to everyone. Sparky's team had won this time, so he decided to treat them. Kiba was actually a pretty nice guy, and the brats loved him and the stupid puppy. But what made me mad is that he advocated the idea of being a ninja... He was practically a hero to these kids. Not that he realized what he was doing of course, but now I was almost positive Sparky—whose name was actually Hiro—was planning on heading to the academy this year.

Sneering at him, I grumbled out, "I wouldn't expect a dog-lover like you to understand the concept of dignity..."

"Hey! What do you have against Akamaru!" He accused me, frustrated, and the dog whined slightly. "What's your problem!? You've always had one since the start!"

I sighed. "I just don't like dogs, okay?"

"That's like saying you don't like black people!" He shouted.

I arched a brow at him deliberately and pointed out, "Seeing as how most of them come from Kumo, I can honestly say I hope they all drop dead..."

He stared at me, and half of his popsicle dripped off its stick. Then he exploded, "You're awful!"

"Did I ever give you a reason to suspect I wasn't?" I countered.

"Kiba-nii-san," Sparky rolled his eyes. "she just says stuff like that to shock people when she's grumpy. You're buying right into it."

I shot the kid a look from where I was reclined against the side of the ice cream shop in the shade and stretched out my leg to kick him in the butt without moving into the hot sun. "Who do you think you're blabbing about like a know-it-all, huh, Kid? That's Mii-chan's job. You're not very good at it."

He rounded on me from where he'd fallen forward and dropped his popsicle and glared. "You think you're so great! I might not be smart like Mii-chan, but you're not fooling anyone! Stop bullying Kiba-nii-san! You're just jealous, because you failed at being a ninja!"

"I'm not—" I stared at him, boggled and slightly outraged.

"Well, I am pretty great." Kiba puffed up his chest. "It's okay. You're allowed to be jealous."

I was half compelled to walk away and leave him standing there like an idiot, but the other half of me that was pissed as hell won and I flung myself at him. I think it was because he was just so much like Naruto that the instinct to pummel and take down a notch simply took over before my brain could think better of it. I got a few good hits in too, before the shock wore off and he retaliated that is. Not to mention the damn dog and Sparky decided to gang up on me. And then there was the fact that Kiba was a fully fledged genin and not even dead last like Naruto. There was just no way I could win. But I went down kicking and screaming, and not before I took one last good swipe at the annoying ninja and left a nasty claw mark down his cheek.

"Hell," he remarked, holding his hand over the welt with a wince, "for a girl, you fight like a wild animal."

"That's rich, coming from you." I spat blood at his feet from when I had bitten my cheek. Then again, maybe it was from that time I bit him.

Amazingly, he laughed, and helped me up. Seems like he was used to the whole random assault thing. I wondered exactly what went on in his home life. "How long did you say you were at the academy?"

"A year," I grumbled back at him, grudgingly accepting the arm up. "What the hell do you care?"

"Well, that solves all your housing problems right there." He grinned. "Just go have a chat with old man Hokage and enroll again. If you can put up that much a fight, I bet you'll graduate in no time."

"Yeah, Nee-chan!" Sparky cheered, and I winced as I spotted a bruise forming on his jaw from where I'd accidentally clipped him with a stray elbow. "You can totally do it this time! Maybe we'll even be in the same class!"

My eyes darted between the two of them uncomprehendingly. "W-wait...no, I—guys, I quit for a reason. I never wanted to be..." I narrowed my eyes. "I don't want to be a ninja. Hanako-sensei is coming back, and then we're going to leave. I can't do that if I'm tied down to this village."

"What?" Sparky exclaimed in dismay. "You never said you were..." His eyes shined as if he were about to cry for a moment, but then his face set into it's usual pout and rounded on his heel. "Fine! Go ahead and leave like everyone else! You're just like them!"

I watched as he ran off and disappeared behind a corner, then sighed, leaning back against the wall heavily and crossing my arms. I felt Kiba's stare on me, and Akamaru sat at my feet, looking up with a whine. I sneered at him and grumbled, "Don't look at me like that. I don't want to be judged by a dog." He simply cocked his head in reply.

"Akamaru doesn't judge people." Kiba moved to join me in my wall leaning, explaining as he stuck his hands in the pockets of his hoody—which I had no idea why he wore in this kind of heat. "He's just worried, is all."

"Great..." I grumbled, watching the little pest warily. "That makes me feel so much better. Tell your dog to mind his own business and keep his nose away from my ass."

He snorted with a bark like laugh. "No can do. It's just a dog thing."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I shot at him and sent him a narrow eyed, sideways look. "I just fucked up your face."

"It's not that bad." He waved it off with a grin.

"You're bleeding," I pointed out dryly.

"This is nothing," he insisted.

"I bit you," I tried again.

"Akamaru bites me all the time." He laughed, and the dog yipped.

"Are you comparing me to a dog!?" I rounded on him, clenching my fists again.

"It's a compliment!" He insisted, holding his hands in front of him defensively.

My eye twitched, but I backed down, grumbling, "Coming from you, I'm sorrily inclined to believe it. Don't try and feed that load of bull to other girls though. You'll get slapped, and never get asked on a date again."

"Is that what this is?" He grinned teasingly at me.

"In your dreams dog boy," I snarled.

He grinned, but it faded after a while. Then he asked, "Are you really leaving...?"

I sent him a sardonic glance. "Would you die of heartbreak if I did?"

"Probably not," he laughed. "I would miss your one liners though."

"Ah, yes..." I hummed, then went on in an ominous announcer's voice, "The witty comebacks just never stop coming back, do they? Will she ever run out? The world may never know..."

"Hey," he said suddenly. "tell me something. And I want the truth."

"No guarantees there..." I warned him. "But what do you want to know?"

"Why'd you join the academy if you didn't want to be a ninja?" he asked curiously, eying me with confusion. "And don't tell me it was just for the money. I don't believe that's all you care about."

I was tempted to snap believe whatever you want at him as I'd picked up the habit from Sasuke, but the way he was looking at me with such an honest expression... He really was a lot like Naruto. I sighed, and admitted something I hadn't thought about for a very long time, "I don't know. I guess when I was a kid, I thought I could make a difference somewhere...change the world." I shook my head with a scoff. "I lost confidence when I wasn't good enough. I couldn't even beat Naruto. And..." I hesitated before further admitting, "I was scared." I met his eyes. "Do you know what happens to Ninja who aren't good enough in this world?"

"...You seem good enough to me." He rubbed his cheek ruefully.

Somehow, it made me smile. But then I bent forward to get a better look at his face and grinned, "Dawww...did the widdle baby ninja get an ouchy boo-boo? Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?"

"Wha—no!" He quickly added distance between us and shook his head rapidly. "Don't get any ideas! I don't like you like that—"

My shoulders shook as I laughed at him. "Oh my god, I didn't think it was possible at first, but you're even more spastic than Naruto. You're like what would happen if Naruto suddenly fused with a pomeranian."

"WHAT?!" he exclaimed furiously. "Take it back, you evil she-witch!"

"No!"

It escalated all the way back to the orphanage where the matron got on both our shits and told us to go home. And we did, with our tails between our legs, because sometimes the matron could be scary as hell. Kiba may have forgiven me, but Sparky still wouldn't look me in the eye. I guess I could understand why he was upset. When you were an orphan, you got used to the idea of people leaving. But Hiro was still new. He'd only been at the orphanage for about a year, and I had no idea what happened to his parents... I frowned as I thought about it on the way home. I almost didn't see my landlord giving me the stink eye when I got back.

I had three days to be out of my apartment.

The next day, I was unsuccessful at getting a job, and the same with the next, even though Sasuke of all people had somehow taken pity on me and promised to ask around during his endless D-rank missions.

On the third day...I had run out of options.


The old man stared at me blankly from over his desk. "Let me get this straight... You want to use the academy financial aid program to keep your apartment...but when your friend comes back, you want to leave. Is this correct?"

My lips twisted into a frown as I protested, "I'd pay you back, I promise."

"But you don't plan on becoming genin, or even graduating," he went on, eying me with that same blank look. But there was mild curiosity there as he pointed out, "Tell me, Yuka-chan, you seem to be well acquainted with the idea of business after four years in the workforce... Exactly how do I benefit from this arrangement?"

"I'd pay you back," I grated out again, clutching my fists in my lap.

"Unfortunately, money is not enough," he sighed. "The academy program is meant to help orphans who have the intention of becoming ninja, and there are several at the moment who do." He stared me down. "Why should I help you, who will be of no use to me, when I can help those who desire to become assets to the village instead?"

I sat there in that chair and thought about that for a long moment. I thought of Hiro, who was still mad at me, and Mii, who'd probably make an extremely successful strategist or codebreaker one day and hated myself. So I didn't approve of becoming a ninja. So I thought it was a load of crap. Who was I to take away their dreams? With that, I stood slowly, as if taking the long walk towards an execution and began to head towards the door without another word.

But then the Hokage spoke again, making me stop as he asked dryly, "Where do you think you're going?"

I shrugged, without turning around and mumbled in a hopeless sort of voice, "I dunno. Not back home, obviously. Maybe to pack a few things. Say my goodbyes. I can't stay there anymore, so I'm going after Hanako-sensei. I'm still allowed to do that, aren't I?"

"You're allowed to do whatever you please, of course." He nodded. "However, I wasn't quite finished chatting with you. So if you wouldn't mind..." He gestured back to the seat in front of his desk I'd just vacated.

I stood still for a moment longer, eying the door longingly. Why couldn't he just let me lose in peace? Why rub in the defeat? But he was still the Hokage. I couldn't just disobey a direct order, even if I wasn't directly under his command. You just didn't do that. So it was with a heavy heart that I backtracked, gradually dragging my feet across the floor with all the enthusiasm of a torture victim and slowly sunk back into my seat. Hey. He didn't say I couldn't take my time.

"Your teacher...when did you say she'd be back?" He questioned, leaning on the desk with perplexing intrigue.

After a moment, I finally shrugged. "I don't really know. She says she got separated from her husband and kids when they were fleeing the country. Got a lead. She went to go get them. Sounded dangerous." After an even longer pause, I admitted in a quieter voice, "I don't know if she's really coming back at all..."

"I'm sorry," he told me. And it seemed, in that one sentence, the meaning was conveyed to multiple slights. Hanako, my parents...

I looked back up at him guardedly, and my eyes carried a singular message. No you're not.

"...Nothing to be sorry about," I said instead, referring to the conversation at hand. "It's just something she said she had to do. Shitty situation for me. I lost my job and my teacher. But shit happens to everyone." He remained quiet for a while, just surveying me in a way that made me feel intensely uncomfortable, as I always did in his presence, and I finally cut to the chase. "Look. I understand why you won't let me back in the program. Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice... Anyway, I know those kids at the orphanage. I help make breakfast and made up this game we play with a ball, and..." I shook my head slowly. "They're good kids. I don't want to screw up their chances of living their—"

"I never said I wouldn't let you back into the program, Yuka," he interjected, and I stopped talking immediately.

My mind instantly jumped to its default setting in asking. "What do you want?"

He chuckled at the knee-jerk reaction and pointed out, "Not one for subtlety, are you?"

"Never," I replied, then repeated, "What do you want?"

"Many things," he answered, the amusement seeping out of him and weariness seeped back in as he let out a sigh. "But right now? You seem to be a very practical child, Yuka—I want you to really consider the purpose of the academy for a moment. Go on. Tell me about it."

I paused. "Taking in students...and churning out genin."

"Correct." He nodded. "Now, what happens when the students go through the program, learn everything we have to teach them, and deliberately don't graduate? It creates a problem. See, putting monetary values aside—resources, and above all, potential for good, are wasted. And here you are, asking me to allow you to do just that."

I looked down at my hands in my lap, sufficiently shamed—he was trying to run a village here, after all. "I'm sorry. But I—"

"How about you and I strike a deal?" He proposed out of the blue, and I stared at him, puzzled.

"...What kind of deal?" I wondered.

"If you make top of your class in every field—and I know you can if you apply yourself—and genuinely make an attempt to graduate to genin, then I will personally pay for your schooling and living expenses, no strings attached. In this time, if your Hanako-sensei comes back for you before you graduate, then you're free to go. If not, then we can assume the worst has unfortunately happened to her, and you'd be better off here anyway, rather than going off after her on a wild goose chase that's bound to get you killed." He paused to let me digest that for a moment, then went on. "Of course, I will have someone monitoring your progress very carefully, and if your marks fall low, or if it seems you're holding back for any reason, I will withdraw my support. Does that seem agreeable?"

I think I sat there for a good ten minutes, weighing my options. Something was screaming at me that accepting this deal would be like making a deal with the devil, but the other half was focused on survival. I was ashamed to say that only the smallest part of me cried out in worry for Hanako. So what if she didn't come back? That didn't mean anything, she could still be out there! ...But what use would I be if I went after her as I was now? Broke, powerless... The only reason she would stay away is if something was keeping her away, and if I couldn't fight that, then what good was I? In my opinion, there was no use worrying over something I couldn't change until I actually had the power to change it.

It was strange, really. It was the first time I'd ever thought of joining the academy to gain power of all things. Back when I thought I was going to change the world, I always thought I was going to work my way up the ladder of politics and do it that way, but there was one other way to do it in this world. And that was by becoming so strong, everyone else listened to what you said...or else. I'd never aspired to become that person. Never dreamed I could. And then when the nightmares came true, I started running, and that ended any ideas of becoming anything. Ever. But you know what? The signs were cropping up everywhere around me. It was soon becoming painfully apparent that running was no longer a working option... And now...now a feeling bubbled up in my chest that made me tighten my fists in my lap and clench my jaw as it washed over me. And in spite of everything, something had just become very clear to me... I was getting sick, and fucking tired, of running.

Hanako-sensei said that I'm strongest when I stand on my own two feet. I looked up slowly at the old man with determination in my eyes. Well I just hope this is what she meant.

"Let's do it."


"So yeah..." I finished my story. "Apparently I'm not getting kicked out, or leaving any time soon. Maybe not ever, if my luck really decides to screw me over..."

"Hmph..." He seemed vaguely smug for some reason. "Looks like you're not going anywhere. I bet that really screwed up your plans."

I scrutinized him carefully from across the table and observed, "You seem bitter about something. As in something more than what you're usually bitter about. Care to share with the class?" At the subtle smirk I caught at the corner of his lip and the usual non-answer, I glowered at him. "You're glad I'm stuck here, aren't you, you vindictive little..."

"I wouldn't go that far..." He countered, however, the infuriating smugness still remained. "yet the word 'satisfaction' comes to mind more than once."

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" I grumbled at him, making an unpleasant face. "Plus, I have a theory that you're completely deranged too. There's no way you can come out on the other side of your special brand of family issues and still remain sound of mind. And see if I try to help you. There's no way in hell I'm touching that barrel of crazy." I scoffed. "Knowing you, I'll probably have a knife in my back for all the thanks I'll get."

The smug look was replaced with a threatening one and he pointed out, "Then I highly suggest you stop talking shit in the presence of the one with the knife."

My eyes darted down to where he had his kunai holster strapped, then back up to the mentally deranged child assassin in my house and saluted his victory. "Right. No shit talking the crazy Uchiha. Point duly noted. In my defense...I'm very upset."

"You get to keep your apartment." He sent me a dull look, and the rest of the sentence was implied. Why are you still whining?

"Under the condition that I get 'top marks in every field,'" I stressed then let my head fall into my arms as I mumbled muffledly, "Sounded like a good idea at the time, but I wasn't thinking about the actual following through part..." I sighed. "I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do. I could still end up right back where I started... And I don't know why the hell I'm boo-hooing to you about it. Why are you here anyway?" I looked up from my arms at him curiously. "Did you find anything interesting in the UMPD files?"

"No." He'd been remaining adamantly tight lipped about that, actually. "But I'm hungry."

I glared at him. "Oh right. I forgot. You're a freeloader. And even after my salary's been drastically reduced as it is..." But I just rolled my eyes and dragged myself over to whip something up anyway. It was kind of a routine between the two of us now. Turns out, my hunch was right, and Sasuke was an abysmal cook. He didn't like to admit being bad at anything though, and so he offered up no explanation. I just kind of deduced by the burning smell I decided to investigate, and it turned out he was trying to air out the toxic fumes by fanning it all out the sliding door to his balcony. It was probably the most ridiculous thing I'd ever caught him doing. So I decided to do us both a favor, one, in removing the hazard of him possibly burning down the apartment building—which was good news for me—and two, he got a free meal ticket out of it. Though I'd probably be extorting grocery money out of him sooner or later. For now...it was more of a choose your battles wisely thing when it came to the two of us.

I continued talking as I started making soup, because Sasuke wasn't big on the whole talking thing. I wasn't even sure if he listened or not, but he was a person, and it's not like he was going anywhere, so I just talked. About anything and everything. I got the feeling sometimes it annoyed him, which was good for me, because anything that ticked him off brought me this strange satisfaction I couldn't quite explain. And it's not like he didn't deserve it either, because he did the exact same thing in his own sadistic little way... It was a subtle little game of childish taunting, really.

"I guess I could spend more time with Naruto..." I mused. "I mean...his training methods are questionable at best, but my form has really shaped up thanks to all the times he dragged me away from work to go play ninja with him..."

"Training with Naruto?" He suddenly interjected, shocking me. "That's your grand plan?"

"Well...yeah. He's always up for a little beatdown." I stared at him over my shoulder, then arched my brow. "Unless you're offering to volunteer out of the goodness of your—"

He stood abruptly and strode over to me, causing me to pause warily and turn to face him completely when he got into my space and then gestured with a twist of his hand, "Turn."

"Wha—" I stared at him dumbly for a second, then deadpanned, "Are you seriously asking me to do a twirl for you—"

"Just shut up and do it before I change my mind," he instructed impatiently.

"Change your mind about what?" I grumbled, but grudgingly did as I was told, putting on a cute sort of show just to mock him and finished with a sarcastic little flourish and a bow. "Happy?"

He didn't answer, and shocked me by grabbing my wrist and stretching out my arm. My first instinct was to jerk away from him, but then I looked at his face, and he seemed to be intent on analyzing my muscle structure...then he murmured something like, "...the right build for precision but…" He turned his attention back to my face. "You've been keeping in shape since you dropped out?"

"...Didn't see a reason why not." I shrugged. "Hot body, is a hot body, is a hot body... You like?"

He sent me a look and dropped my wrist like a poisonous snake. "You're disgusting."

"Not so," I protested with amusement, and joked, "It's perfectly natural to be attracted to me, since I'm most likely the best thing that's happened to you in years. Don't try and deny it."

"You really like the sound of your own voice," he scoffed. "Keep it up with the ridiculous accusations and I'm not going to help you at all."

"Why are you helping me?" I pegged him. "It's not like you actually care if I lose my house."

"No, but if you do, it means you're going to go after that woman and I lose the one reliable information resource I've managed to find," he growled at me.

"So I take it the UMPD files got trashed?" I deduced, and from his surly expression, I believe I hit it right on the money and shook my head. "Well I'm hardly an advocate of prophetic dreams being what you'd categorize as 'reliable,' but I suppose they are something to contemplate... I can take a guess at what happened and because of the dream thing, my guesses are usually pretty accurate..." I sighed. "Danzo probably took a stroll through there at one point in the past four years and had a major case of the sticky fingers... And it's not exactly like he's had reservations about stealing things from the Uchiha in the past..." I watched as his face twisted with disgust and hate. And I honestly couldn't blame him. Going so far as to desecrate the dead… It was awful. "But then again, it could've been anyone that wanted to keep you in the dark, really. For protection purposes or otherwise. Not that it helps you much now..." I tapped my chin in thought. "Unless they're still keeping them around for some reason... Do you have any idea of what exactly is missing? I'm sure with how analy clean you keep your apartment, your family couldn't have been much different in terms of organization. There's bound to be something that'll tell you what was stolen. Then at least we'll know what they're trying to hide, and maybe work out the reasoning...maybe even track it down if it's not been burnt to a crisp already. We should take a leaf out of your clan's book and make a list of the suspects. Given enough information we can work together, narrow it down, and figure out who our target is."

He thought for a moment, and nodded. "This is why I keep you around. Meet me at the training grounds as soon as classes at the academy let out. If you don't take this seriously, or run your mouth, you'll be sorry."

"Well," I crossed my arms with a glare. "who can argue with that sort of unfailing logic...?"

"Unless you'd rather train with Naruto and fail," he threw out there.

I scowled at him as he retook his seat and stared at me expectantly. Perhaps it was the fact that I really didn't like that domineering look on his face, and maybe I just wanted to spite him that led me to the firm decision. "I'll train with both of you. In all honesty, do you even know how to teach someone? Knowing you, you'd probably skip over all the basics and jump right into the thick of things. Am I right?" The look on his face, along with the way he was, confirmed it. "In comparison, all Naruto knows is the basics, primarily. A good student knows how to use her resources to her advantage, so wipe that pissy look of your face. Maybe, if you care so much, you can go and collaborate with him. Which I doubt you'll do, because your people skills suck even worse than mine." I then arched my brow at him and smirked challengingly. "Unless you've got something to prove..."

Looking back, at that moment, it seems I may have inadvertently started a small-scale war.


The next time Naruto dragged me off, I got an ingenious idea. "Hey, you wanna know something awesome about shadow clones?"

"I'm the king of shadow clones! Watch this Yuka-chan!" He grinned, then demonstrated by multiplying himself by fifteen and making a pyramid. "See!?" the one on top waved his arms at me.

"Impressive," I admitted, crossing my arms. "But I know something you don't know..." All the clones at the bottom of the pyramid suddenly poofed out of existence, leaving the original at the top to scream, flail, and fall several feet to the ground in a heap. I sighed at the intelligence of that, but went over to check for damage anyway. After all, if this idiot was determined to help me...might as well return the favor. "You didn't fall on your head, did you? Not like it would really matter too much with someone like you, but in my experience, I've learned the situation can always get worse..."

"Ow, ow, ow!" He groaned as I moved to maneuver his head onto my lap, inspecting for impact areas, "You're mean, Yuka-chaaaan..."

"Hey, you're the one who just had to be on top." I rolled my eyes. But then he snickered at the unintended innuendo and I slapped him in the forehead. "Cut it out. You don't even know what that means, or why it's funny."

"So?" he huffed. "It's still funny..."

I rolled my eyes once more. "You need to stop sneaking into the porn section with that kid...whatshisname?"

"Konohamaru..." He rubbed his head and stared up at me reproachfully.

"Yeah. That one. You're going to end up like that weirdo teacher of yours if you're not careful—or worse..." I grumbled, stifling a shiver that went down my back as I pictured a tall, white haired man doing a funny dance with toads. He'd taken up the space of an entire night's worth of nightmares, that one... At that, I shoved his head off my lap. "Nothing fatal. Try to be more careful."

"You be more gentle!" He shot back, rubbing his poor, abused cranium.

"Your girlfriend's not gentle," I pointed out with a smirk.

He blinked at me a couple of times then grinned dreamily, "Oh, you mean Sakura-chan? Hehe, yeeaaaah... She's the best."

I tried to stifle a snort, failed, and mentioned, "I'm sure she'd be utterly thrilled to hear you think so."

His face went pale after a moment and he urged, "Don't say anything to her, she'll—"

"Yeah, I gathered." I smirked at him. This was just too funny. "Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me."

He let out a sigh of relief and then his attention jumped backwards, "Hey, what were you saying about shadow clones?"

"Oh, yeah, well, I was doing some research—" perish the thought of Naruto in the porn section, I was in a place I really wasn't supposed to be, "—and I happened to come upon this interesting theory. Wanna try it out with me? There's an easy way to prove if it works or not."

"Like an experiment?" He sent me a wary look. "You're not going to tie me up, or anything...right?"

I sent him a dry look. "I repeat: You really need to stay out of the porn section."

"Well, what do I have to do then?" he averted his eyes with embarrassment.

"Just make a shadow clone. One, shadow clone. Not ten. One. Got it?" I told him clearly.

"That's too easy!" He grinned, then hopped up. "One shadow clone, coming right up!"

And before we knew it, there it was, standing right beside the original with an identical grin and a salute. "Here I—"

"Okay, that's just great, come with me," I grabbed the back of its collar and dragged the replica across the clearing, turning to point sternly to the original and ordered, "You stay there, and cover your ears."

"Wha—why?" he asked, sending his stumbling clone concerned looks.

"Just do it! You want this to work, or not?" I shot back, and he reluctantly complied, with a pout. He didn't like being told what to do any more than I did.

"Okay, clone boy, listen up," I told it as soon as we were far enough away, and whispered something into its ear.

Its face suddenly turned bright tomato red and began to shout, "THE FUC—" And then my fist went slamming into its piehole and it dispersed in a poof of chakra smoke.

Almost immediately, the original Naruto across the clearing started shouting the exact same thing, flipping the fuck out, and I grinned. There was one theory proven. "See!? This is why I told you to stay out of the porn section!"

"That is so fucked up! Why would you—how does that even—EWW!" You just have to love the first time someone learns the truth about where babies come from. It's so adorable I could just die. And I nearly did. Laughing. He stomped over to me and demanded, "What the heck were you trying to prove by telling me something nasty like that!?"

I wiped a tear from my eye and giggled, "Think about it. Technically, I didn't tell you anything..."

The mortification was suddenly wiped off his face as it smoothed into thought. Then it finally sunk in and he exclaimed, "OH! That's so cool!"

"I thought you said it was gross," I smirked at him. "You sure grew out of your immaturity phase fast... Glad you see things my way. Now all we need to do is tell Sasuke. That'll be a fun conversation."

He seemed to picture it for a second, then promptly choked on laughter. "That's not what I meant, but yeah, that sounds like a good idea. After all, I remember during team orientation, one of his goals was to revive his clan—" He cracked up, unable to finish his sentence.

I tapped my chin. "I'm not exactly sure he meant it in the way you're thinking, but... Someone should probably tell him to stop saying that... Especially around girls. Miscommunication. That's the number one cause of rape, ya know." I was fairly sure Naruto didn't even know what I was talking about.

He snorted, and plopped down next to me, his mood suddenly souring and he grumbled, "What's so great about a guy like him anyway?"

"I wouldn't worry too much about it." I punched him in the arm gently. "Girls always go for the strong, dark, silent types. At first, that is. Then, after they grow up a little, they dump all their dark, tortured, fairytale prince expectations and go for guys like you. Cause dark, fairy tail princes like Sasuke just have way too much emotional baggage." I grinned at him.

He sent me a strange look, "What kind of guy would you go for?"

"Eh?" I blinked, my grin faltering. "Me? Why do you want to know?"

"I wanna know!" He insisted without explanation.

Making a face at him, I crossed my arms and explained, "Fine. If you really wanna know...my first choice would be a guy with a shit ton of money—doesn't matter what he looks like, or what he acts like, he's just gotta be loaded." His jaw dropped. "As for my second choice..." I was thoughtful for a moment. "He's gotta be strong—the strongest guy I can sink my claws into and still manage to pin down. Better yet, make him the strongest, and the richest, and that's my type in a nutshell...and maybe insanely hot too, but that's just a bonus option." At the distressed look on his face, I had to assume he was generalizing my rather tall order as a thing all girls were into, so I quickly salvaged the situation with a grin. "That's just me though. Don't worry. Give it a couple years, and you'll have groupies all over you."

He suddenly narrowed his eyes at me. "Why are you being so nice?"

My grin didn't falter. "Cause I want something, of course."

"Whaaaaaat?" He flopped onto his back with a groan. "What do you want now?"

"I want to steal your jutsu," I admitted frankly. "Well...borrow it, technically. I doubt there's any way I can actually use it in combat, like you, but even if you don't use it to spam your enemies to death, it's still pretty damn useful. I sort of need it...or I'm going to flunk out of the academy in a month."

He sat back up and fixed me with a confuddled look. "Hah? You're going back to the academy?"

"Yeah. It's this thing, between the old man and me. It's the condition for keeping my apartment while I wait for Hanako-sensei to get back—I don't have time to explain it all again. Ask Sasuke about it or something. He knows. Anyway, more importantly, I need to learn shadow clones, or I'm pretty much fucked." I held my hands up on either side of me in a shrug.

"If you can't use it to beat people up, then why do you need it?" He still seemed puzzled. Then he shot me a conspiratorial look and hissed. "You're not going to use it to tell people about the—"

"NO." I felt like slapping myself. "Didn't you learn anything? Maybe the baby making thing was too distracting..." I drooped and let out a long sigh. "and I was trying to make a point with that too." Looking back up at him, I tried explaining, "Look, if you make a shadow clone—or two, or three...or fifty, in your case—and send them off to do something, lift weights, or run up and down an endless staircase all day—at the end of the day, when the clones disperse, all that experience returns to the original. You get what I'm saying?" I stared at him for any indication of comprehension, but when he kept staring at me with that slack face I lost patience. "If I can make shadow clones, I can use them to get stronger at twice the rate I'd normally do it! Then I can be at the top of the class and keep my apartment! It's like a short cut, without actually being a short cut!" I added. "Though all that training is bound to take a toll on your body, you know, even if it's your clone doing half of it, but it's worth it."

"What? Why didn't I figure that out forever ago?" he held his head as the full implications of the technique crashed down on him in an unforgiving pile of brutality.

"You probably would've eventually." I shrugged. "Be careful though. It's really not a healthy way to train—though with your constitution, you might be able to use it more liberally than I would. I just want to use it to show the Hokage I'm taking this seriously. Once I get to the top of the class, I'm dropping shadow clones for good." I paused. "That is, assuming that you'll teach me, of course. You can still tell me to go take a hike, if you want."

"Are you kidding? This is great!" His grin stretched his face impossibly wide. "No one's gonna call you Quitter anymore! You can graduate like me, and we can go on all kinds of awesome adventures—like rescuing princesses, oh! And we can travel all over the world too, Yuka-chan—I know you always wanted to do that—and then—" He went on, and on... And the more he got into it, the more I wanted to shrink away from him. His enthusiasm reminded me of the first time we enrolled together.

And once more, I wasn't really planning on graduating at all.

In fact...I was planning my final escape even as he chatted away without a single care in the world...


"Hey, who is that?"

"Some screwup. I heard she dropped out in her first year."

"Then why is she with us? We're already in our last compulsory year. The next graduation exam is in three months."

"Special treatment is my best guess. I heard her family is a real piece of work. Probably paid off one of the higher ups..."

"That's weird. I heard her parents were dea—"

"You guys are really loud, you know." I sent my worst glare over my shoulder at them. But all they did was huddle in their little clique and giggle like mad. For training ninja in their last compulsory year in the academy, they had all about the subtlety of a flying boulder with spikes sticking out of it... I already wanted to go home.

"I see you've all realized we have a new student," Daikoku-sensei quieted the class by speaking over them with his booming voice. He was a large man—not large by Akimichi standards, but in the muscle category, you might describe him as somewhat of a hulking figure, with a round nose and a round face and a pointy little goatee. "Why don't you come up and introduce yourself?" ...I had a feeling I was going to hate Daikoku-sensei.

After a long moment of staring him down, and making it known with my eyes that I really didn't want to do this—which he ignored—I let out a long sigh and made the long walk down to stand at front of the auditorium oriented classroom next to the teacher. I stared at the class and they stared back at me, picking me apart with their eyes, and for a moment, I really just wanted to cut and run right there. After another long moment of silence in which the class started getting restless, the man prompted, "Go on then."

"What do you want me to say?" I hissed back.

"Your name, obviously, and..." He thought for a moment. "something nobody else knows about you. To break the ice, you know? That's all."

I didn't know about breaking the ice...but maybe this could work as an opportunity to get people to leave me the hell alone. Sighing I closed my olive eyes and tucked a stray strand of mint-green hair behind my ear before opening them again to consider my peers with an emotionless front. "My name is Yuka...and sometimes I like to sneak into my neighbor's house when he's not home and leave dead cats under his bed. I don't think he's noticed yet. The smell should probably notify him in a couple of days though..."

Dead silence. Then someone started to laugh as if he thought it was a joke, but when no one else joined him, and I made no indication as to whether I was or was not joking, the laughter faded gradually and died in a pathetic sort of way. Then someone shouted, "Freak!" and that seemed to settle the matter. I was satisfied, at least. Nobody talks to freaks. And that worked out just fine for me.

I looked over at Daikoku-sensei, whom, I was proud to say, looked somewhat disorientated. If he was the one who was supposed to report back to the Hokage on me, I hoped he reported this. The old man would probably get a kick out of it. The guy deserved a laugh every once and a while. "Can we start class now? I have plans to categorize his underwear drawer later. Dead things can be stored in lots of places, you know..."

He pointed slowly back to my seat without another word, an unsettled stare trained upon my back as I went. I felt vaguely proud. Academy teachers were required to be chunin after all. And though the one that guarded the restricted section was frankly inept, others were bound to be close to reaching elite levels. To have shaken someone like Daikoku-sensei—whom I was imagining only took this job to avoid becoming Jounin and the responsibilities that came with it—I wondered if I should work harder on trying to become more terrifying. I seemed to have a knack at shocking people.

Besides the stares and the whispers that would be directed towards me every time they thought I wasn't looking, the day went by in a fairly normal haze. The material, I could keep up with. Math, science, and history—I was always fairly good at them. I got my ass handed to me in sparring, but that was to be expected, and I learned a lot anyways. Daikoku-sensei observed all the matches and pointed out what the loser and the victor did wrong, and I paid close attention, even interjecting to ask detailed questions and wouldn't stop until I got a satisfying answer. I was good at learning. I always had been. I think the only reason I did so poorly the last time around was because of an acute lack of self confidence, and, most importantly, incentive. This time, I had more than enough motivation, and the idea of dicy self confidence had no place in my thoughts. I was focused on my goal. Everything in between was simply a means to an end.

I was fine until lunch hour, nothing more than a few bumps and bruises from the beating I'd taken, but it could've been worse. I'd gotten in worse scraps with Naruto and Kiba, after all. So as for gauging my level against those in the class, I was pretty sure that if I worked hard enough at it, I'd be able to slowly make my way to the top... Problem was, I didn't have time.

"Alright everyone, be back after the one hour recess. If I were you, I'd spend this time wisely. Progress reports come out in two weeks—that means substitution, transformation, clones, and the escape jutsu, people! Keep practicing so you can get the grade! I don't want to hear any complaints from parents..." He grumbled the last part quietly, but I was in the front row, and my ears were sharp.

Two weeks. That was all the time I had to master those techniques. Sure, I wasn't exactly being tested on them quite yet, and I was even more sure that not everyone in the class had them completely down, but at least they knew them, and could perform them to a certain extent. I...I couldn't even control my chakra. Even though Naruto had tried his best to teach me shadow clones, chakra control was not his forte. I'd failed miserably. Made the hand signs correctly and everything, but there was absolutely nothing to show for any of my efforts. And after the progress report went out, it was going to go straight to the Hokage. I was doomed, with a capital DOOM.

And so it was with my thoughts focused on said inevitable doom that I didn't notice the gaggle of girls trailing after me from the academy courtyard at first. But when I did, I saw that the leader, Ami, the one who had kicked my ass in sparring, was smiling at me suspiciously. Curious, I stopped and let them approach. That was mistake number one. Mistake number two was letting them talk.

"Hello. It's Yuka-chan, isn't it?" There was a distinct cruelty to her patronizing tone.

I arched a brow at her, scowling slightly. "Yes? What do you want? If it's pointers from our match, I hardly think you need them."

"No, no," she giggled, sneering to her friends who snickered as well, "nothing like that...we were just wondering... Your hair is so long, and pretty..."

Surprised, I reached up to run a hand through the mint-green curtain draped over my shoulder. I usually wore a bandana to keep it out of my face and to hide the two odd cowlicks that always cropped up on either side of my head (Hanako jokingly called them my 'ears'), but the fringe still managed to escape and tickle my cheeks irritatingly. Long, yes—I kept it that way out of sentimental reasons having to do with my mom—but pretty...? That was debatable. "You're only saying that because you don't have to live with it."

"Speaking of which, Yuka-chan... We heard you're living with Sasuke-kun. Is it true?"

I sent them all bizarre looks. "Where'd you hear that from? Honestly, I can barely stand being his neighbor. He steals all my food." I paused, observing them closely. "I was just joking about the dead cat thing, by the way, in case you were wondering... You guys seem fond of him." Instantly, I was wary.

Ami giggled again and suddenly threaded her arm through mine as she walked, inadvertently dragging me along with her posse. "You've got an interesting sense of humor, Yuka-chan..."

"You got that right..." I murmured, though 'morbid' and 'interesting' were far from the same. She seemed not to hear me.

"We were in the same class with Sasuke-kun, but none of us were put on the same team..." She sighed dramatically. "There's only a certain percentage of genin that pass their sensei's test each year, too, you know. Most of the ones who fail join the genin corps, but we were some of the few who were allowed to go back to the academy and retake the test..." In other words, they had money. Whoopde-freakin'-doo... "Which means the more genin that graduate, the less chance we have of getting on a team..." she 'hmm'ed sadly, and sat down with me on a bench under the sakura trees.

The rest of her group settled down around us, taking out their perfectly packed lunches, and another sat on the other side of me, whereupon she began playing with my hair. I didn't know why girls had the compulsion to do this. It was rude to touch other people and I certainly didn't like it. Ami was touching me too, and while most people would find it harmless, it had the distinct feel of...not being harmless. I wasn't good with people, but even I could tell when cruelty was being implemented—disguised as kindness though it may be... No one just kidnaps the new girl and takes it upon themselves to invite them to lunch. At least not girls like these.

I narrowed my eyes at the arm still threaded through mine, but opted not to react. I figured if I didn't fall for their tricks, they'd get bored and leave me alone. They seemed to be simple minded type, though I got the feeling Ami could more than a little vindictive...or her punches certainly stung like she could be, anyway. This is why I didn't much like interacting with other females if I could have a choice. Guys were straight up about what they did. Even a social retard like Sasuke would call you an idiot if he thought you were an idiot, but girls... They were tricky. And mean. And vicious.

"So about that progress report..." Ami went on conversationally, moving forward from the subtle way she let me know my presence here was causing trouble for her and others. "I wonder what they'll be scoring on this time? My parents are real sticklers about it. What about you, Yuka-chan?"

She knew about my parents. That's why she asked. I smiled slowly. That's it. If she wanted to play this game with me, haha...we'd play it my way. "My parents are dead, Ami-chan... So my report is going straight to the Hokage himself. He had me specially selected and put in this class to prove I can make it to the top. I hope you enjoy a little competition."

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry," she said insincerely, completely ignoring my oh so prestigious connections and blatant challenge. "How old were you? Do you remember what they were like? It must be so hard to lose someone so close..." I heard the girl behind me pop her chewing gum, and then Ami dug her claws in even deeper as I went stony and silent. I could just see the manipulative smirk behind her mask of concern. "Did...did you watch it happen? You were from that refugee group that was taken out in front of the gates, weren't you? Weren't you the only survivor from that?" Another malicious pause in her endless intrusive questions—everyone enjoys a spectacle. "You traveled with them for a long time, ne Yuka-chan...? Who do you think the spy actually was—"

My fist came flying at her suddenly, and I think that's why it connected—the element of surprise is a powerful thing. I was just as surprised as Ami though, because my body had moved on its own, and I stood up, ripping my hair away from the other girl, whose grip had tightened in surprise at my violent response. Staring at my fist and then at Ami who held her mouth and glared at me in shocked fury—she really didn't expect me to just sit down and take it, did she?—I scowled and grated out, "I've already been through enough interrogations for one lifetime. I don't need one from you."

Ami stood up, spitting out blood from where she bit something, but then she smiled at me. "Poor Yuka-chan...you look so sad. Did I do something wrong? I thought we were friends."

Something wet was dripping down my face, and I reached up, horrified, to find tears. I didn't cry. I never cried—not since that day. I stared at the spot of blood Ami had spat on the ground, suddenly transfixed. My throat closed up as memories I'd tried to drown floated inadvertently to the surface of my thoughts.

Daddy hid me under one of the bodies—I didn't know whose—as all hell broke loose. Something was wrong with Mommy. As soon as the ninja came down from the top of the gates, steel in their eyes, she'd tensed up, her fingers curling into claws, an animalistic snarl emanating from somewhere in her chest. Mommy never made strange noises. Strange noises were rude. She rapped her knuckles on my head every time I started up. Daddy's eyes became guarded when that happened. They said they'd train it out of me. But Mommy never made strange noises.

She made a lot of strange noises when the bloodbath came though. I never found out exactly who started it. Suddenly, people just started screaming. Some people fought though. Daddy covered my eyes and pulled me away from Mommy before she went berserk. Her claws came out, and her teeth went sharp. I wasn't sure, but I think her eyes were red...and she was happy because she was smiling. There was blood. Lots of blood. Most of the stuff that got on me came from the woman Mommy killed, and Daddy shoved me under her while he tried to calm her down. Then the Ninja hacked their way through. They got Daddy. Mommy calmed down after that. She cried while holding Daddy's hand. She said 'forgive me, forgive me' over and over again. Then they killed her too. It took a long time. No matter how many times they stabbed her with their swords, she wouldn't stop screaming. Then they cut her head off. She didn't move again after that.

They found me after it was over. I was at Torture and Interrogation for a long time because for a long time, I couldn't speak for some reason. They told me it was due to something called shock. Then, after a nice man in a funny hat gave me some water, I told them what I saw and what I heard. They asked me about a spy, but they never found out who it was, because I didn't know either. Whoever it was was dead though. Everyone was dead.

My lips pulled back from over my teeth and I let out a savage snarl at the girl in front of me. "I don't need friends."

With that, I spun on my heel, stalking away from them. I felt my face again, still bemused at the tears, trying to work out my chaotic feelings. Tears are the body's natural reaction to an overload of emotion. I didn't know what emotion I was feeling—couldn't put a name to it. Maybe it was anger, but it was much stronger than that. And it wasn't even because of Ami—though she had triggered it, or, more specifically, her blood had—in fact, even though she was a bitch, I thought Ami was a little pretty. There was also a strange overpowering ache in my belly, but that was probably because I hadn't eaten anything all day.

I went home and emptied out my refrigerator. I still felt empty. It was only when I looked outside and saw the sun setting that I realized I'd forgotten to go back to the academy after lunch. Time seemed to be going wonky, because I was spacing so much it appeared to be going by faster. I'd been sitting in the dark less than thirty minutes later when a sudden dreadful dizzy feeling washed over me and I had to drag myself hurriedly on hands and knees to the bathroom where I promptly dumped all the contents of my stomach into the toilette. Only afterwards, after having to hold my hair out of the way did I notice the sticky substance in it. After a moment, my brain seemed to reboot and I rushed to my feet—dizziness dangerously ensuing once again—to check the mirror. My heart sunk at what I saw.

There, folded ever so neatly into my hair were several wads of chewing gum used to hold the expertly braided knots together.

I stared at it for several seconds before, inexplicably, more tears welled up in my eyes. This time I knew where they came from though. Mom used to sit on the porch with me on hot summer days and run a pretty comb through it when I was sad. That very comb now laid upon the counter. Useless. I squeezed my eyes tightly. Then my hand blindly darted for the cabinet drawer, shoving around the contents until my fingers found what they were looking for. They emerged with a shiny, silver pair of scissors which I then used to promptly sheer off the parts that couldn't be saved. I had to do it quickly before I could stop myself, or else I'd be walking around with gum in my hair for a very long time. In the end, I was left with an uneven mess—some parts long, some parts completely sliced off—and the rest of it littered the sink and floor around me in a circle.

Staring at it in the mirror, I trembled, and then, when I couldn't bare to look at it any longer I sunk down in the middle of the bathroom to pull my knees up and rest my forehead on them. Who knew someone like me could end up so vain? But after a moment of thought, I didn't quite think that's what it was... Mom's hair used to be so pretty...

That's how he found me. Curled up on the floor and sniffling in a pile of my own chopped off hair. At that moment, I didn't even care. I just tilted my head up at him slowly, my olive eyes bloodshot and I wanted to know— "Just how did you get into my house...?"

"The same way you get in and leave dead things under my bed, apparently..." Ah. So he'd heard about that. He knelt down in front of me, crossing his arms over his knees and asked, "Why are you crying?"

I sniffed again and eyed him guardedly. But being guarded never helped with him. I figured he'd appreciate the short answer rather than a pathetic story of bullying and pretentious sore feelings. "...I miss my mom."

He didn't have anything to say to that. Instead he watched me for a long moment, until I stopped sniffling and wiped my eyes slowly with the heels of my palms. Then he reached out and took my wrist, pulling me to my feet. "Let's go."

Mutely, I followed after him until we reached the darkening streets and I asked quietly, "Where are we going?"

He didn't answer, but continued to pull me along after him without explanation. At that moment, while normally I would protest and jerk my arm back with a good verbal smack down, I honestly couldn't bring myself to care too much, even when passers by sent funny looks at my newly butchered hair-do. After a while of walking, we ended up in front of someone's door, where Sasuke knocked firmly three times.

A woman with pretty short blond hair answered it and smiled, "Oh, you're Sakura's friends, aren't you? You can go on up. She's in her room." She took one look at me though and exclaimed, "Goodness gracious, what happened?"

"Girls are crazy..." Sasuke supplied flatly, slipping past Sakura's mother uncomfortably and heading up the stairs. It seemed like he'd never been in her house before because he hesitated at a few doors before landing on the right one with a light spilling out from the crack at the end of the hall. He knocked again, three times, and when the girl poked her head out she jumped slightly.

"Sasuke-kun?" She seemed utterly shocked to find him in her house, and only spotted me after she began, "What are you..."

He shoved me towards his stunned teammate and pointed to my hair, instructing briefly, "Fix her," and apparently that was that, because he shut the door behind me, leaving me with the pretty pinkish haired girl.

She blinked at me after a moment, and I stared back with a frown, then she shook off her shock and murmured, "Hold on a second...you're that girl from the bakery. It's closed down now... How did you..." She eyed my hair incredulously.

"It's a long story, and if someone asks me about my hair one more time, I'm going to scream bloody murder." I warned her.

"Well..." She tapped her chin examining me still with a hint of befuddlement, but she shrugged. "Since Sasuke-kun brought you here, and I guess I have some time..." She approached me cautiously and led me over to sit on a stool in front of a large, full length mirror. "I'll see what I can do..." She eyed the mangled locks and ran her fingers through them gingerly, wincing as she did. She met my eyes in the mirror and asked me, "Did you get gum stuck in it?"

My lips twisted into a scowl and grated out, "One of Ami's stupid friends at the academy..."

Sakura's eyes darkened and she repeated the name under her breath a couple of time as if trying to remember and then her eyes darkened even more. "...I remember her. She used to bully me about my forehead."

I stared at her in the mirror, and after a moment of debate I concluded, "Your forehead is pretty. Ami's a jealous idiot."

She blinked in surprise, then laughed, "Why are you the one comforting me? You're the one who's being bullied!"

I frowned again. "I don't get bullied... And besides, those were just observations, not words of comfort. Comforting someone would imply feeling sorry for them first."

She eyed me doubtfully, and held up a strand of hair that still had a speck of gum in it. "You call this not being bullied?"

After a stony silence, and a moment more observing her as she picked out the pieces she could get at, I questioned quietly, "...How'd you get her to lay off?"

A bittersweet smile tugged at her lips and she replied without looking at me, "Somebody stood up for me... Ami only picks on the loners." Her eyes then flicked up once more and she insinuated, "Sound like anybody you know?"

My face soured and I avoided her eyes. "Point duly noted."

Eventually, she sighed and eyed my hair sorrowfully. "I can't do anything more about the parts that are still stuck together... I'm going to need to cut a lot off." Again, she sighed, "It's so long though... What a shame."

If she seemed sad about it, imagine that tenfold. But I just looked down at my hands in my lap and murmured softly with a shrug, "...It's just hair. It grows back. That's practically its only purpose if you think about it... Think how accomplished it'll feel after it fulfills its reason for existence."

She did, running her hand through her own longish pink hair, then smiled with a giggle and admitted, "You know what? That's a good way of looking at it. But until then, I'm going to make it look really pretty, okay?"

I fought back a reluctant smile and mumbled quietly, "Thanks...Sakura-chan."

She emerged from a cabinet with a pair of scissors and a spray bottle in each hand, then got right to it. After a while of snipping in silence, she remarked in a somewhat hesitant voice, "Sasuke-kun must really like you if he brought you all the way here. He doesn't say a whole lot, but you know what they say about actions meaning more than words..."

I stared at the frown she tried to hide and sighed. "I don't think he likes me at all really. Actually, I think he might secretly hate me. He laughed once when I fell down the stairs... If that doesn't scream down dislike from the heavens, I don't know what else does." Granted, I probably would've laughed too if it hadn't been happening to me at the time—more so if our positions had been reversed.

She sighed too and replied, "Sometimes I don't think he likes me very much either..."

"Yeah, but you're his teammate. You're the one who's going to have his back when stuff gets shitty," I pointed out. "And you're nice enough to put up with his bullshit. Not to mention you can scare the shit out of Naruto, which is just a bonus. You're actually kind of cool. And if he can't see that, he's just as big an idiot as Ami is."

She hesitated in her snipping, her hands drooping for a moment as she admitted. "Yeah, but...I'm not as good as they are."

"Naruto says you're really good at jutsu," I relayed, then, struck with an idea, I went on, "Speaking of which...Sakura-chan, do you know much about chakra theory and control? Naruto sucks at it, but he's still been trying to teach me... You kind of have to admire his optimism, but his hopes and dreams aren't getting me anywhere any time fast..." I sighed, my head dropping a little. "And if I don't impress Hokage-sama with my progress report in two weeks, I can kiss my apartment goodbye. Hanako-sensei left on some epic quest to find her family, shut down the bakery, and left me to fend for myself. So that was the deal when I started back up at the academy. Top of the class, or no deal. I'm out on my ass for good."

She hesitated again, and questioned, "You're Sasuke-kun's neighbor, right...?" When I nodded, she touched her lips in thought, but looked unsure, "I mean...I don't know if I'm qualified to teach, or anything..."

At her stuttering, my eyelids drooped knowingly, and I interjected. "If you help me, we can ask your mom if you can sleep over at my place every once and a while, since we're 'friends' now and all..." then added more quietly, "Maybe we can even find a jutsu that lets you peek through walls..." Her face went pinker than her hair, and she dropped the scissors, barely missing her foot. Pretending to ignore that, I went on thoughtfully. "And Sasuke comes over a lot of times when I cook dinner, seeing as how he can't cook shit... You can keep an eye on him if I need to, say...suddenly run out and get last minute groceries. I can't trust him alone with the stove after what happened last time, you see—"

"When do we start?" Her face was set determinedly with a smile. She knew what I was doing. And it was working. I grinned back at her since it seemed we'd come to an agreement. Sasuke was Sakura-bait. No two ways about it.

When Sakura finally finished with me, she walked me out of her room to find Sasuke leaning up against the opposite wall, all chill and such. I arched my brow at him as he looked over my now ear length, wedge cut hair, though Sakura had left my fringe and side-bangs alone to hang over my shoulders. He arched his brow right back at me and assessed, "You look slightly less hideous than you did before."

I debated the wisdom of slapping him, but decided against it with a shrug. "Coming from you? Flattering. Really. I applaud your complementing skills. Truly, you are as prodigious as your name implies. Seriously, Sakura-chan, aren't all Uchiha clansmen just so gentlemanly?"

"Well..." She laughed nervously, playing with her fingers. "Sasuke-kun has his moments..."

"Just take this shining example right here," I agreed.

"Sakuraaaa!" her mother called up. "Do your friends want to stay for dinner?!"

Sakura looked at us, and I looked at Sasuke. "Considering I have no food left, and it would be bad for me if you burnt down the apartment complex trying to work the microwave, Yuka finds this alternative offer highly appealing. I vote yes."

He rolled his eyes. "She's back..."

"What are you talking about, silly little boy?" I crossed my arms over my chest indignantly. "I never left. I'm still stuck here, remember?"

Just call it typical, but I swear I saw the sadistic little bastard smirk out of the corner of my eye.


Uuuum, Orokashii here. This time, I do have something to make fun of Ashley with! Her love of Sasuke. Let it be known to all that this girl is obsessed, he can do no wrong. It's like an instinctual love that will forever burn. There, said it.

Also, this might be my error, but the chapter is twice as long as usual. And it may not remain this way if it just so happens that it was an error. Just saying.

I'm disappointed at the lack of reviewers though. I expected more out of you guys. So review this time!

Thanks bunches!


EDIT from Ash: Yo! I actually got access to a computer! Don't expect it to last for long though. But I'm still working on it! Don't worry. Anyway, Orokashii, I and everyone else who enjoys reading this owes you BIG TIME! You're the reason this is possible! And don't worry about the length, it was meant to be long ^^

AND I AM NOT OBSESSED! I've recently come to a realization about that actually. I've sort of grown out of my Sasuke phase. I'm still a fan, obviously, this IS obviously a semi-Sasuke-esque fic, and the love will, in fact, burn on, but I'm now more interested in characters like Itachi, Kakashi, Tobirama, Hashirama, and Madara... Because I'm just not into kids. Lol.

Anyway, enough about my anime hunk fantasies. Nobody wants to read about that... Unless I suddenly get REALLY good at writing smut. And hey, you never know xD

One more big thanks to OROKASHII! Everyone else make sure and say thanks too!