'WAIT, RICK, I DIDN'T MEAN THAT!' I shouted, but I still couldn't see him anywhere. I decided to go to sleep instead of worrying about it all.
I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating and trying to catch my breath. I dreamt that it had happened all over again – my knife poking through his shirt, his skin… then going right into his muscles. The way he looked right into my eyes in that last moment, the pain and fear on his face. I really didn't want to see it all over again, and the fact that he had disappeared didn't really help either.
'Rick… are you here? I'm sure you're around here. Get back here, you bloody prick. I'm... I'm sorry, all right?' Sorry was always the hardest thing to say, but it was really useful. Slowly, a floating figure emerged from the dark. I knew it was him, I could have sworn he didn't go too far away.
'What do you want, Vyvyan? Have you not had enough of making me feel even worse about my death?' He was still terribly upset – no wonder, though – and his voice sounded wobbly like he had just been crying.
'I'm… uh... s-sorry, and I just wanted to make it up to you.'
'You want to make up for MY DEATH? OR WHAT?'
'No... Not your death, just… you know… I thought I'd take you somewhere.' He looked quite excited, but at the same time still really sad. I got dressed and made my way down to my loyal Ford Anglia and got Rick to come with me. He sat next to me, arms crossed and looking out of the window.
'Rick, I'm seriously sorry for what I did… and what I said.' I sighed and started to drive.
'I know you didn't do it on purpose, Vyvyan. I'm just… I can't deal with it, all right? I didn't want to die. I wanted to be A HERO first! The People's Poet! Everyone would know the People's Poet, the kids would want me to be their idol.'
I smiled a bit, but at the same moment, this was just so terribly sad. I parked my car next to the park and told Rick to wait for me right here before climbing over the wire fence. A few minutes later, I returned with quite a lot of scratches and a wonky red rose.
'Did you really make me wait so you could get that poofy flower? Are you taking me with you to a date? Who is that for, anyways? Vyvyaaaan… I asked you something, why don't you answer me, huh?'
'OH, WILL YOU SHUT UP, PLEASE. YOU'LL SEE WHY I GOT IT, NOW JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND FOLLOW ME, ALL RIGHT?'
Surprisingly, he did shut up after this, and didn't get upset this time. I lit a cigarette and made my way up the road to where a church was, but more importantly, where the graveyard was. The sun was just rising and it made the scenery surprisingly calming.
'Vyv... Where are we? Where did you take me?'
I didn't answer. There wasn't really a point in answering, he'd see soon enough. I stepped onto the narrow little road that took you too the graves and slowly walked up the little hill that was there. Right at the top there was a tree, and underneath the tree there was the stone I was looking for. Rick was still following me, without asking any more questions. He probably already knew what was going on.
Here lies Rick Pratt, the People's Poet
He was a good kid, a great friend
But, sadly, he's dead.
He read it out loud and seemed to be quite surprised by it.
'Is this… Vyvyan… This is my grave? I'm under all this disgusting dirt that's here?' His voice trembled and he almost broke down crying.
'Yeah, nice stone though, isn't it?' I asked as I placed the almost dead flower right in front of the stone.
'Mh… Yes, it's nice. Who wrote the epitaph?'
I looked up at him and smiled.
''Twas me. I got the whole thing done.'
'Well, thank you Vyv. It's… really nice, after all. Kind of… calming to see it. Thanks.'
We stayed for a while. No more words, just enjoying the sunlight and the wind and the sound of the birds. After an hour or two, we decided to move on from there. I didn't feel like going home, so we spent the whole day wandering around and ended up back in the park by night time.
It was nice, the sky was clear and the grass under our backs was really soft. We were looking at the sky together and trust me, it's been really long since I was this happy. If I've ever been this happy at all. Everything was so calm and nice around us, no other people to bother us, and Rick seemed really happy, too. He was smiling at me, but this smile was something new to me. I mean of course I've seen him smiling and giggling a few times, but this was something else. I felt a sudden urge to hold his hand, so I reached for it and, with a quiet thump, my hand landed right next to me on the grass.
I felt a cold shiver going through my body. I realised I couldn't hold his hand, and I probably won't ever be able to do that. He's just a soul. I won't be able to ever touch him again, I won't be able to hug him or kiss him... Wait, what am I even thinking about? It's Rick, why would I even want to do such things to him. I hate him, don't I? Maybe I don't hate him so much after all. No, maybe I even like him. Oh, God, I think I might love him. That's why I always pick on him – Wait, am I blushing? I really hope not, and I really hope he doesn't see it, if I do.
'Vyvyan? Are you all right? You seem to be a bit... scared?'
I turned to Rick and tried to act normal.
'Uhm, yeah, completely fine, matey. My mind just... wandered off a bit, you know?'
He giggled at me and then went back to gazing at the sky. What the hell should I do now? What if he doesn't feel the same about me? WHAT IF HE DOES FEEL THE SAME? I have to ask... No, I can't do that. Instead, I just looked away and tried to look normal.
'You know, Vyvyan, this is not that bad at all.'
'What are you talking about?'
'You know, being dead or a ghost or whatever the hell I am. I'm getting used to it, I think, and it's actually not that bad.'
'Oh, isn't it? I mean, if you're okay with it, that's great, I guess.' I really didn't know how to feel about it, though part of me was really happy that he was still here, in spirit at least. As long as he's okay with being here, I'm happy.
'There are some things I'll miss, though. Like... you know, it's weird that I can't punch you anymore.' He chuckled. 'And it's even weirder that Michael and Neil can't see me… And it's such a shame that I'll never be able to get it on with a nice bird with glorious jugs, ah… And I... didn't even get my first kiss. I mean, not like anyone would ever have wanted to kiss me. No one would.' He was still smiling, but I could see the sadness behind it.
'I would've,' I whispered quietly, but I had no idea if he heard it. He looked into my eyes and I looked right back at him. We both leaned closer. Our lips almost touched.
'Y-you really would?'
'Yeah, I really would, just shut up, okay?'
I closed my eyes and kissed him, and I have no idea what kind of witchcraft this was, but I could actually feel his lips on mine. They were awfully cold but still nice and soft, and he wasn't a bad kisser, either. I wrapped my arms around him, it felt like hugging a really soft pillow. It was great, I felt shivers down my spine and I wished we could stay like this forever. Just as I thought that, I fell back on the grass. I fell right through him.
'Oh no, stupid ghost powers, don't give in. Not now, bloody hell,' he was mumbling. I sat up and looked at him with a silly grin on my face.
'So how's that for a first kiss, prick?'
'Not bad.'
'Just not bad? I queered up for you and all you can say is not bad?'
'Okay... It was... AWESOME. Vyvyan, ahh, I'm sorry for... messing it up.'
I just smiled and hugged him again as much as I could, but this time I was pretty much hugging air.
'We should go home, Rick, it's pretty late.'
He nodded, so we got ourselves together and went home. When I got into my bed, he was next to me, and we talked about completely random things and giggled for hours before I fell asleep.
