"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuck," I moaned, anxiety welling up inside of my chest making me feel like I was going to vomit all over the bathroom floor. Again.

The little pink lines on the home pregnancy test stared back at me, mocking me with their bright happy color.

"FUCK YOU!" I screamed and hurtled the pee stick across the room. It clattered dejectedly on the floor.

I was pregnant. But how? How the fuck had this happened?! I thought back to the S.H.I.E.L.D Halloween party and groaned. No fucking way. Sure I had just switched birth controls, and sure we didn't use condoms, but I should have been fine, right? I was on birth control, after all. Fucking hell, he probably had some sort of super sperm that couldn't be stopped by mere chemicals alone.

I could feel tears well up in my eyes. I don't want to be pregnant; I'm not the nurturing type…hell, I can hardly take care of myself let alone another human being. I haven't fully figured out who I am as person, I can't throw a fucking baby into the mix.

Standing, made it to my bedroom before I broke out in sobs, it would be just too pitiful to cry in the bathroom. I was pregnant because I'd had crazy drunk (amazing) sex with the Norse God of Mischief. Once. FUCK.

I didn't know if I wanted to keep…it. I certainly didn't think I did, but I knew Loki deserved to hear about it first. It wasn't his decision to make, but seeing how he reacts will help me decide.

We hadn't really talked after I woke up tangled in his green cotton sheets to an empty bed. After pausing a moment to relive every saucy detail, I had hightailed it out of there as fast as I could. If he didn't want to stick around his own house to see me wake up, I could take a hint.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts.

Hey Loki, it's Lulu. I was wondering if you'd like to get coffee Monday at lunch?

I resisted the reflex urge to at a smiley face at the end of that. This was not a smiley face kind of text. I hit send and waited. After a minute my phone chirped.

You know, most people ask to get lunch at lunch. But sure, whatever you'd like.

I'd like you to not be such a fucking gentleman and make this easier on me, I though.

Okay. I'll meet you at the Starbucks across the street at 1.

I rolled over on my back and wiped away my tears. It was Thursday, I could make an emergency doctor's appointment for tomorrow, call in sick. Fuck Monday was going to be awkward.


I hadn't been working at S.H.I.E.L.D. very long, but I did like the job. I was the desk receptionist (read, secretary) for the Research and Design department while I finished my master's degree. I mostly coordinated everyone's schedules and made sure Tony Stark made it to meetings, so there was a lot of down time for me to read, or veg out on the internet, which ever took my fancy. Another cool perk was that some of the Avengers worked in R&D, who else got to say that were on first name basis with Bruce Banner and Tony Stark?

"Cheer up, Buttercup. You look like you're going to toss your cookies all over the desk."

I glanced up to see Tony and Dr. Selvig waiting to be signed into the lab. I gave them a weak smile.

"Sorry…I'm just worried about my final exams," I lied.

The morning passed excruciatingly slow as I tried to figure out just what I was going to say to Loki. It didn't help that I had absolutely no idea how he was going to react. For all I knew, he could have a wife and kidlets waiting for him back in Asgard. That would be probably the only thing that could make me feel worse than I already did. My last line of hope had been severed when my lady doctor had confirmed what the pee stick had already told me. I was preggo and there was really no getting around it.

Luckily for me, Loki wasn't consulting in R&D today, so I wouldn't have to see him until I was (more or less) ready to. He bounced between a few departments, really wherever director Fury thought he'd be most useful; he worked for SHIELD as part of his rehabilitation program. I think Thor definitely pulled some strings for him. Lately, he'd been spending a lot of time in Linguistics. To pass the time, I tried to decide what I was going to say to him and to sort out my expectations.

Finally, the clock hit 12:30 and I grabbed my things to head out—it took about fifteen minutes to get through security and I wanted to beat Loki to the coffee shop, if possible, so leaving a little early sounded good. Plus it would give me something to do besides concentrate on not barfing from anxiety and hormones.

Starbucks was still pretty busy from the noontime rush, but I was able to order my bottle of water and banana bread with chocolate chips fairly quickly. I looked around, trying to find a more or less private spot to sit at. Scanning the crowd, I suddenly realized Loki had beaten me here. He was seated at a window booth, looking pensively out into the city. He looked damn good dressed in a black three piece suit and crisp green shirt. He had his jacket off and sleeve rolled up. I tried not to think about how sexy he looked compared to how disheveled I probably was. Taking a deep breath and gripping my water bottle tight, I walked over to him.

He must have heard me approaching, even in the din of the room, because his head snapped away from the window and he fixed those gorgeous emerald eyes on me, making my center clench. There was a hint of a smirk on his face when he stood to greet me.

"Hello Lucrezia," he smiled and motioned for me to sit across from him.

I tried not to grimace when he used my full name and instead focused on his smile. Fucking hell, this bundle of cells had a great chance at developing some fantastic cheekbones. No, stop thinking about that, I mentally chided myself.

"Hello, Loki. How have you been?" I asked, twisting my long hair nervously around my fingers. I hoped my voice didn't sound as high pitched as I thought it did.

Loki paused for a moment, clearly wondering why the hell I had asked him to coffee if all I wanted to do was chit-chat.

"I've been well. Director Fury keeps me busy." He took a sip of his coffee, "how are you?"

I gulped, well if that wasn't a perfect segue, I don't know what was. I could feel the anxiety and terror welling up inside of me again, but I had promised myself I wouldn't cry—not in public and not in front of Loki.

"Well…that's actually why I wanted to talk to you." Fuck, I couldn't do this. No, no. I had to, but I certainly couldn't look at him while I said it.

I picked a spot on the table and picked at it with my nail. It was very interesting.

"Listen, I don't really know how to go about this, but I think something may have gone…wrong when we were…um…together after the Halloween party. I've been feeling really sick lately and I went to the doctor's on Friday…I guess what I'm trying to say is…Loki, I'm pregnant."

I chanced looking at him, terrified of what I was going to see. Loki was staring at me, looking completely dazed. I figured it was best to just keep taking.

"I haven't really decided what I'm going to do yet, but just so you know, I don't expect anything. You can be as involved, or not, as you want…" I trailed off lamely; that was about as far as I had gotten on my speech.

"You're certain I'm the father." It wasn't really a question.

I nodded, "yeah. You're the only man I've had sex with in….well, a long time."

Three years, actually, but that was too pathetic to admit.

I looked at him again; Loki seemed a little less shocked, but he was definitely confused. I could see emotions chase each other across his face and not for the first time I wished I could read minds.

"I…I don't really," he cleared his throat. "I don't really know what to say, Lucrezia. If this were Asgard and you a highborn lady, I would get down on one knee and ask you to be my wife. But somehow I don't think that's what you want."

I gulped. Where the hell had that come from? Though, if I thought about it, it kind of made sense. Loki had been raised as a prince, will all the manners and responsibilities of being a gentleman drilled into his head. But he was right; the thought of getting married just because of a pregnancy freaked me out even more.

I bit my lip, "would you want a child?"

"I think the more important question is whether or not you do."

Then to my utter amazement, Loki reached across the table and captured my hand between both of his, brushing his thumb over my knuckles. His hands were cool and a little rough; I could clearly see the blue veins knotted under his alabaster skin, something I found strangely erotic. He squeezed my hand.

"Whatever you want, Lucrezia, I'll be there."

It was barely a whisper, and really, I was surprised I heard it in the bustle of the busy coffee shop.

I squeezed his hand back, a sense of calm coming over me, and nodded, tears in my eyes.

"Okay."