A/N: I love all of you for your reviews, follows and favorites! :) Thank you, thank you! I hope you like this chapter. I just want to make a couple points: 1.) There will not always be both a before and after in every chapter. Some might be all in the past, and some all in the present. I don't control where they take me, I just write 'em. 2.) This story is rated M for a reason. There could/will be language, sex, drugs, blood and whatever else I want to put in it. If this bothers you, don't read it. :) 3.) All mistakes are my own, obviously. I'm beta-less and left to my own devices... that's really all that needs to be said. :) 4.) I really like making smiley faces. :) See you at the bottom!
DISCLAIMER: All Characters belong to SM, I just steal them and have my wicked way with them from time to time
Chapter 3
After
"Rose"I creaked out.
I say this simple word, but it's filled with so much relief. A huge smile breaks out over my face.
"Well don't just stand there! Come over here and sit down! Talk to me."
I gesture wildly at the chair next to my bed. I'm so excited to see her that I don't pick up on the tension that's permeating the air.
Slowly, she walks over, sits down and grabs my hand. I watch as her smirk disappears and her eyes flash with emotion.
"I'm so mad at you." She closes her eyes and shakes her head. "So, so mad. You fucking left me and I thought I was never going to see you, or talk to you …or-or fucking be near you again."
She pauses and I scoff at her.
"I'm glad to see some things never change. Rosalie Hale! Still the most important person in Rosalie Hales world." I wave my arm around the room nonchalantly, mocking the princess like stature that radiates from her. I turn my head back towards her, after my display of elbow-elbow-wrist-wrist with a satisfied grin.
"Oh, don't give me that shit Isabella. I'm not the selfish one here. I've been here since day mother fucking one. I love you brown eyes and I would do anything for you, but you really piss me off with your "I'm gonna sleep for 10 years and wake up happy, and without a care in the world bullshit, like this doesn't affect anyone else."
It takes exactly one second for my mood to change. My blood boils, and my fists clench the crisp hospital sheets.
"How. Fucking. Dare. You." I whisper. I can feel that my eyes have narrowed in fury. Rosalie's mouth is partially open, whether from shock or from her anger, I'm not sure.
"You think that I'm HAPPY right now? That I don't have a care in the world?"
Rose scoffs, crosses her arms and quirks her eyebrow.
"Did you know that I can't sleep?" I close my eyes and give a heartless laugh.
"I can't sleep Rosalie, because I'm terrified that I won't wake back up. Or how about the fact that I'm now 32 years old and don't have any memories past my 22ndbirthday."
I pause and look up at her. She's staring blankly, but a tear is rolling down her cheek.
"You know what? No. How about the fact that I can't fucking breathe, due to the thousand pounds of crushing agony I feel, every time I think about how it took 4 FUCKING DAYS for my best friend to come see me."
My voice cracks, and I reach my hands up to wipe the tears that have escaped in my anger. My voice is steadily getting louder with every sentence, and my heart is racing but at this point I'm at the point of no return.
"Maybe, you can tell me why I've been shattered into a million pieces, even though just yesterday I was whole. Yesterday, I had my family and my friends. Yesterday, I had arms wrapped around me that were supposed to keep me safe. Arms that belonged to a man who owns not only my heart, but my fucking SOUL. Which is really unfortunate, due to the fact that he is currently MIA. No Rosie, you must have confused my happiness with the inability to process the fact that my whole life has been ripped away from me."
By the end of my rant, I am out of breath and my cheeks are splotchy from the avalanche of salty tears. I grab Rose's hand and squeeze.
"I get that you're upset. I'm sorry that this happened, but if all you're really here for is to walk in, and have the audacity to tell me how pissed off YOU are at the world…then why are you even here?"
At this point, Rose's head is hanging down, her long curly blonde locks hiding her face. I can hear her sniffling, trying to keep it together. She looks up at me, her eyes glassy from the tears that are threatening to spill over.
"Bella, I just-I'm scared, okay? I'm worried that you're going to- that you're.."
I can't help but to interrupt.
"That I'm going to, what exactly? The nurses and the doctors all treat me like a porcelain doll, I don't need you to see me as one, too."
She starts to speak so quietly that I can barely hear her.
"I'm worried that you're going to expect things to go back to how they used to be. It's been 10 years, Bella. Things are different. Everything, really. I just want to make sure that you're prepared to deal with what this all really means. Your smiles and your laughter, it scares me." She sighs and sweeps her hair to the side, over her shoulder. A flash of something on her neck catches my attention.
"Rose, what happened to your neck?"
She has a slight smile as she fingers the scar, that I can now see runs from her jaw all the way underneath her collar. Her eyes are unfocused, and I realize she's remembering.
"It happened so long ago, I forget that it's even there. This is from the car accident, the same one that put you here. I was luckier than you, I was wearing my seat belt and it kept me from being ejected from the car. Gave me a nasty cut, but it could have been worse."
I feel a pang in my chest at what she says. I know she didn't mean it, but I can't help feeling like the "worse" she's talking about is directed towards me.
"Where is Ed-everyone else? Did anyone else get hurt? Are they all okay?"
I pick at my fingernails and try to act like my heart hasn't stopped beating with the anticipation of her answer. I'm hoping she didn't hear my stutter, but even if she didn't, I'm sure we both know who I'm really asking about.
She sighs and pats my hand.
"Everyone is fine. Perfectly healthy. There were lots of broken bones and nasty gashes, but you definitely got the worst of it. Let's not talk about this right now! There will be plenty of time to figure everything out, just know that everyone is okay." I know she isn't telling me something, because she keeps her eyes from meeting mine.
"Rose, I'm going to ask you something and please. Please. I just need to know. You know that I need to know. If you've ever loved me at all, if you ever want me to find peace, I need to have some clarity, because nothing so far has made any fucking sense. Please."
She squeezes her eyes, praying that I'm not going to ask the question that we both know I'm going to ask, and she nods her head.
I take a deep breath in.
"Where is Edward?"
She stands up and paces for an eternity. Finally, she stops at the foot of my bed. She takes a deep breath and turns toward me.
"Bella, things are so different now. So, so different. Losing you, it changed all of us. We lost touch. We went separate ways, we've lived separate lives."
I blink at her in shock. There's no way that's true. My friends? No, not them. We were unbreakable. Life long, Saved By the Bell type of shit. This has to be their idea of some sick joke. I decide to move on from that fact, until I find out what I really want to know. I keep staring at her, waiting for her to answer my question.
"I'm not sure where Edward is, Bella. If I had to guess, I'd say he's probably at home."
I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. So, he was okay. That's all I could really ask for. I try to ignore the growing pain in my chest at the realization that he isn't here, purely by choice. I focus back in on what Rose is saying. She stops talking and stares at me incredulously, waiting for a reaction. I cock my head to the side and shrug my shoulders.
"What?" I ask.
"Did you not hear what I Just said?"
"Yeah, he's probably at home. I mean, I know it's not the ideal situation for me Rose, but at least I know he's alright. That's all I can really ask for, right?"
"No that's-that's not what I said. I mean-it is, but... Edward's at home Bella, with his wife."
