A/N: :( :( Oh my lord you guys. I have missed you all soo much! Have you missed me? I'm so sorry about the delay in posting! My computer completely crapped out on me and it took my genius computer guy FOREVER to fix it! Worst part? He wasn't able to save ANYTHING from my old computer. Every chapter of this story that I had written has been lost. SYANORA! I was devastated. I've been working nonstop re-writing as much as I can, but I can't wait any longer to post. I feel like I'm letting everyone down if I do. Please, please, pleeeeease forgive me for how long this took.
CHAPTER FIVE
Edwards POV
I hate the night. When there's night, there's darkness. It's different from what it probably is for you, from what it is for most people. For me, the sun's a shield. It's bright enough to block out bad thoughts, bad memories. During the day, the birds chirp, the lakes glisten and the warmth makes me feel like maybe there IS still some beauty left in the world. When the sun starts to disappear, that's when the memories haunt me. The darkness creeps up and around me, until I can't see, and my shadow? It doesn't even exist anymore. The sounds no one else can hear, the rusty smells that can't be smelled, the screams that are my nightmares…and no matter what I do, no matter how much I drink, or smoke, or fuck, they just refuse to disappear.
The sound of heels on hardwood bring me out of my memories. I have never been happier for my distraction, and what a beautiful distraction she is.
Beautiful and fuming.
"EDWARD. I cannot believe you. You promised you would go with me. It's a family trip that's been tradition since forever. Every year we go, and every year you have an excuse. I don't get it, it's Disney World for god sakes. We go, my sisters' kids have fun, the kids go to bed...we have fun. Plus, it might make my father hate you a little less!"
I scoff at her. "Yeah, fat chance."
"Please honey, be the husband I know you are, and be part of my family, for once."
I sigh deeply, pick up her left hand and kiss her over her ring finger. The cool metal of her wedding ring is comforting, which is what I need right now, since my mind is threatening to open its gates to the past.
Just like that, I'm decided.
I am a going to be a good husband, I am going to go to this stupid place, on this stupid family trip and support Angie.
I love my wife.
I love my wife, and I will go, for her.
I… will…. Go.
Yeah, it still doesn't help, no matter how many times I repeat it in my mind. I don't give a fuck what those new age books say, mantras don't work worth a shit. It's while I'm sitting down at the kitchen table and running my hands tirelessly through my hair, I realize how tired I am…and how much I don't want to deal with this…. and that I'm a shitty husband.
Damn, isn't that a horrible thing to know about yourself?
I would love to go to Florida. I know I should be there. I want to be there. What my wife fails to understand is that I physically cannot make myself. It will take me to a place that I refuse to go. A place where I vowed to never go again, to the person I vowed to never be again. The person I left behind, with her. Always and forever.
Bella.
Before
"GAHHHHHH! LETS GO, LETS GO, LETS GO!"
I groan and stretch my arms above my head. I crack open my eyes, and see Bella jumping on the bed. Her hair is crazy curls and topped with mickey mouse ears. She is wearing a a shirt that says "Not much of a donkey" and has, I kid you not, CHECKERED Goofy pajama pants. She closes her eyes for a minute, and I smirk when I realize that she hasn't realized that I'm awake.
Slowly, I reach my arms and grab her around her waist to pull her down into bed. She shrieks, and I swear to god even her scream makes my stomach flip. Yeah, call me sappy all you want. Have you met my girl?
She bounces and sinks down into the comforter and rolls on her side, brushing the hair out of her face. She has the biggest smile I've ever seen, and her eyes are sparkling with excitement. She's brighter than the sun.
"Morning." She whispers, as she reaches out to cup my cheek.
I respond by running my hand down her face and leaning in for a kiss. She sighs, and melts into me. I break the kiss, and with my hand twisted in her hair, lean her head slightly to the side.
"What a beautiful morning, indeed." I whisper back. I feel her skin break out in goosebumps as I lightly trace my other hand down her arm.
"I have to be completely honest when I tell you, that you look absolutely delectable as Mickey. In fact, I don't think I've ever appreciated Walt Disney as much as I do now."
She looks up at me through her lashes and smirks.
"You can show me how much you appreciate me later, Ed. There are castles to see and butterbeer to be had!" With that she jumps up and starts bouncing, again.
"Well by all means, then! Let's not keep Harry waiting!" I jump up with her for a second before tackling her back down, grabbing her sides and tickling her until she begs me to stop.
I make fun of her obsession with Disney World , but I get the significance.
"Aren't you getting a little old to be wearing Goofy pajamas and watching fairy tales? You've gone to Disney World every year since you were 5, and you still can't get enough."
I laugh as I pull at her by her pajama pants and into my lap.
She closes her eyes and hums for a moment. "No Ed. Disney is sparkles and shimmer, glass slippers and castles. Smiles and laughter, singing and dancing. No worries, no troubles, no enemies. Everything is happy, warm. Innocent."
She turns her head to look at me. She strokes her thumb under my eye, and pecks me on the lips.
"Plus, it's just fucking awesome!" With that, she jumps up, throws on jeans and winks, while shouting that she'll see me downstairs, and that I have 10 minutes.
I sit on the edge of the bed and smile, shaking my head. I'll never find another Bella, that's for sure. She's been waiting for us to take this trip for months. I don't see the appeal, but anything to make Bee happy is worth it to me.
After I brush my teeth, shower and get dressed, I head downstairs. I look around for Bella and finally find her standing at the front desk, leaning casually against it, talking excitedly to the receptionist. Her hands are flailing like she's proving a point, and her cheeks are flushed the most adorable shade of pink. I walk up behind her, and wrap my arm around her waist.
"Where do you want to go first, pretty girl?"
She stops mid-rant, giggles and says "Cinderella's Castle, of course!"
After
I come out of my thoughts when Angie says my name.
"Edward? Edward. Where'd you go?"
She's staring into my eyes, and I can't stand to see her face when she realizes what I was just thinking about. I turn my head to the side. I hear her sigh, and take in a shaky breath. She knows I'll never talk about it. Not with her.
"Just-Just think about it, Ed. Please?"
I cringe, involuntarily at the use of my shortened name. I tamper down the immediate rage I feel, and hold back the feeling of wanting to tell her not to call me that. I feel guilty, because I can't help but feel dirty after anyone says it. It's gotten better over the years. I've healed, I've grown up, finally been able to move on. I can honestly say that without Angie, I wouldn't be here. She has saved me in more ways than one. I should man up and do this for her. It's just one week, no big deal.
I look over at my wife, while she pours a cup of coffee. She turns around, resting her hip on the counter, both hands around her coffee cup and smiles. "Come on, baby. You say you love me to the moon. Show me. Come to Florida with us."
I swallow heavily, but all of a sudden my mouth is dry. I can't bring myself to speak, so instead I just nod my head and watch as her smile brightens. She's right, I do love her to the moon. In fact, she is the moon. She's the light that shines through my darkness. I wish that were enough-that should be enough.
But how bright can the moon be, when you've already had the sun?
Before
"Finally" I mumble. Bella glares at me and pushes my shoulder.
"What?" I shrug. "We've been walking for hours!"
I grab her hands and stop her.
"Can't we just..take a minute?" She gets a bewildered look on her face, and looks around.
"What, here? In the middle of the park?" She shrugs.
All of a sudden, Bella's head snaps up. I smile because I know she's hearing the music.
"Do you hear that?" She asks.
I try to keep my smile to a minimum and look around innocently "What?"
"Are they playing Bruno Mars at Disney World?" She is tilting her head to the side, listening to the song that is now playing over the speakers. She smacks me and gasps "OH my god! Look at those people! It's playing Marry Me AND people are dancing?! I think this is a flash mob!"
"What the hell is a flash mob?" I ask her.
"Just ..Watch!" She waves me off, too worried about finding her video camera to bother with explaining to me. More people start dancing, coming out of the audience and down from the castle steps. They're clapping and dancing and moving towards us.
"This is great! They're coming straight towards us! Best video EVER!" She sings, laughing loudly and swaying to the music. After another second, she freezes. I'm not 100%, but I can guess it's probably because she noticed Jasper and Alice just appeared dancing in the front. As did Rosalie and Emmett.
She grabs my shirt and whispers "What the fuck?" under her breath.
More people join in dancing. They are so close to us at this point that if we wanted, we could reach out and touch them. All of a sudden, confetti is thrown and I pry Bella's hand off my shirt and turn to face her. Her eyes get huge and she covers her mouth with both her hands.
"Edward. What the hell are you doing?!" She whisper-shouts. Before I can answer, her eyes are torn away from me. She must see our parents joining in. Tears pour from her eyes.
I reach in my pocket as the music ends, and I grab her hand.
"Bella. I'm not getting down on one knee."
She laughs through her tears, but I can feel her hand trembling in mine. I smile and stop to take in the moment. I lean my forehead against hers and can taste her sweet breath against my lips. I whisper my next words so that only she can hear them.
"I'm not getting down on one knee, but I am asking you to be mine. I can't promise things will be perfect. I can't guarantee that we'll have our happy ever after. But I swear to you, that I will spend every single breath I have trying to make you happy...and when people ask me why I married you? I'll remember this moment. How there are 1000 people around us, and the only one I see is you. How I will only, ever see you."
She lets out a sob, wraps her arms around my neck, and hugs me tighter than I've ever been hugged.
"Yes."
For the first time since I've met her, I'm as in love with Disney World as she is.
A/N: So swear the Disney World Flash mob was a real proposal. Look it up on youtube! Had me crying my eyes out. I'm not ashamed! :) Leave me love!
