A/N: Hi guys! Wow, thank you all so much for the wishes for my computer and for all the support! I'm sorry it's been more than a week, but since none of my hard drive was salvageable, I've had to re-write everything. I wanted to get a few chapters ahead again before I posted, so that I could try and stick to a more regular schedule in the future. Thanks for the patience! Except for you non believers you! :) I promise this story will be finished, no matter how long it takes. I hate when stories I love are abandoned, I know what it feels like, and I will not do that to you.

That being said, re-writing an already written/edited story is a pain in the ass! It's so frustrating when you can't get something exactly the way it was before. :( Out of all the chapters I've re-written out, this one was the hardest to get out. Complete writers block. It's definitely one of my shorter chapters because I didn't want to string it out and turn it into shit. The characters just weren't working with me. Luckily, the next few chapters were easier! :) Okay I'm done rambling now.

DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Not yours. Just hers.

Chapter Six

Bella's POV

After

I'm not a stupid girl. I understand the world well enough, even if it is pretty damn difficult to come to terms with. I get that the world keeps spinning, even if I'm taken out of the loop, that people grieve and mourn, until the pain finally lessens, and they move on...learn to continue living. I know all of this, but it doesn't matter...because this isn't my world.

I can't see, because tears that have unwillingly sprung into my eyes are making everything blurry. I keep wiping them away, but they keep coming back.

I can't breathe, because every time I try to take a breath, the crushing pain of reality caves my chest in.

No…..this isn't my world. I don't belong here.


Before

"Hey Ang, I want you to know how happy it makes me to see that you and Edward are so close."

I put my hand over her arm, to try and help portray my sincerity. I'm smiling so big, it hurts my face, but I can't help it. My life has improved so much since I met Angie. She has quickly become of my closest friends. Where Alice is crazy, and Rosie is bitchy, Angie is...sanity. Anytime I'm on the verge of a breakdown, need somebody to talk sense into me, or be the calm when I'm in a storm, Angie's who I go too. She just...gets me.

"Whatever, bitch. You know I'm only nice because I'm planning on stealing him away one day."

I scoff and push her arm.

"What?! Can you blame a girl?" She smiles and winks. "You know I'm just kidding. You're my best friend Bella, both of you are. You two belong togther, anyone with eyes can see that." She stands up and stretches.

I smile slightly, and drum my nails on the table, getting lost in thought.

"You know Ang, if anything were to ever happen to me... I wouldn't want Edward with anyone except you. I wouldn't trust anyone else to put a smile on his face."

She turns and looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Yeah, okay sport. I'll get right on that." She sarcastically spits out.

"I'm serious! If something happened to me, he would be a mess. There's nobody else who could get him out of his misery, and keep him from throwing his life away. He doesn't smile for anyone the way he smiles for you. I swear to God Ang, it's almost as big as he smiles for me. He deserves that, he always deserves to have that."

I stand up and walk over to her, grabbing her hand in both of mine.

"Promis me, Ang. Promise that if something were to ever happen, that you would take care of him for me. Keep him happy, give him some sunshine."

It's silent as she stares at me with a searching look.

"Yeah, Bella. Sure, if it's that important to you." She whispers.

"It is. Always be his best friend. Okay?"

She nods, clears her throat and turns away.


After

"Edward is probably at home.. with his wife."

My breath stops, and my IV laden hand automatically flies up to my chest. All of a sudden, my heart turns against me and sears through my body with unbearable pain. The kind of pain that even after it's gone, will leave behind the worst kind of ache. I look up at Rose who is wringing her hands together, and staring at me like she expects me to break.

In all honesty, I might be breaking.

I open my mouth to speak, but it seems like exerting any energy at all is excruciating. I can't talk, but my mind is racing.

"No! There's no way Edward would do that if I was still alive... if there was a chance. There has to be some mistake." "Maybe he didn't love me as much as he said he did?"

"He deserted me. Left me. Loved someone besides me." With every thought, my pain started to turn into another feeling, altogether.

"How dare he."

"He should be the one here with me, explaining to me."

"I want to see him."

That one was out loud. My eyes glazed over with determination and an unbelievable fury. How dare he think he could have the best of me, have all of me, just to turn and run into the next willing vagina that opens up to him once I'm not available.

"What?" Rose isn't expecting this reaction, I can tell. Hell, I'm not even expecting this reaction, but I guess I was never really expecting this to happen in the first place.

I narrow my eyes at her and cross my arms.

"You heard me. I want to see him. I want to hear him explain it himself. I want to meet his precious wife." I spit out.

"Bella..." She hesistates, as she starts wringing her hands again. I focus in on the movement, and my eyes narrow even more. Rose is a lot of things, but a hand wringer is definitely not one of them.

"It's not that simple."

"What do you mean, it's not that simple? It IS simple, Rosalie. Him. Here. Now. Tell him to grow the fuck up and be a man. Does he know I'm awake, yet?" I quirk my eyebrow at her waiting for a response.

"No." She whispers.

I lean in closer, acting like I couldn't hear her. How could he not know? Is that why nobody has been here, because nobody has been told? Then how did Rosie know?

"I'm sorry?" I say.

"NO!" She yells out. She seems startled at the volume at her own voice, but she quickly collects herself and continues.

"No, he doesn't know you're awake. Nobody knows you're awake." She starts pacing, and running her hands through her gorgeous blonde hair.

"Well, why the hell not?!" I throw up my hands in exasperation. I'm so confused I could scream.

"Nobody even knows you're alive, Bella."

No. This is definitely not my world.