Disclaimer: I don't own the Fosters, only the plot and any characters you don't recognize from the show.
Author's Note: Back again, with another chapter. Enjoy!
Cole turned to look at the alarm clock. Neon red letters read 4:26am. It had been seven minutes since the last time he had checked the clock, but it felt like it should have been an hour. His mind was racing as he lay in bed in the dark, fingers linked behind his head, thinking the day through again. Today was Saturday. Saturdays are Family Days. Normally, this wouldn't been anything to him. In the months he'd been here, nobody had ever come on Family Day for him. He remembered Callie's first Family Day. It's highly unusual for someone to get six people at once. Callie probably single-handedly doubled the amount of visitors that day. And now, finally, it was his turn. Emily – he turned that name over in his mouth softly, as if he were tasting it – had said that she would come with her wife, Alex, and their two preteen children, Makensie and Jamie, to meet him. That's four people. And, while he'd been a little anxious, he really didn't think that she'd bail on him. At least, he'd really hoped she wouldn't. Rita had confirmed it yesterday, in fact, saying that she'd called to double-check the time.
The clock now read 4:35am, and Cole just couldn't stand it any longer. He'd been lying in bed, awake, for almost an hour, thinking about all the possible ways things could go wrong today, and he just needed to do something. Using a skill gained from long practice, he got up quietly, careful not to wake Monica in the next bed, and lifted some clothes from his dresser. He was careful, walking across the hall to the bathroom, making sure to avoid the floorboard that squeaked. Becca often teased him for taking as long in the bathroom as any girl, but there were things he had to do, things that didn't involve applying make-up. He pulled on boxers, and carefully began the process of wrapping an Ace bandage around his chest. Long practice made him rather good at it, he thought, and after donning a plaid shirt, he examined his work in the mirror with a critical eye. No strange bulges, no ridges in the bandage. Not, perhaps, as flat as he would like, but he needed a proper binder for that. Or surgery. He pulled on jeans and his old sweater vest. There was no use dressing nicely, not yet. There were things to do first.
After putting his stuff back in his room, Cole went downstairs and into the kitchen. He was not on breakfast duty today, and it was probably too early to start anyway. Besides, it would just be cereal; the cooking for Family Day required too much time and effort for anything else. Instead, he started to clean. The kitchen would just get messy, so he skipped that and started the living room instead. He stopped at the point he'd need to vacuum; that would be too noisy, so he did the downstairs bathroom instead, until everything was clean and shiny. There was still time, and he just needed something to do. When Rita came into the kitchen a little after six, she found him obsessively organizing the cupboards in the kitchen.
"Cole?" she asked.
He spun around with a start. "Oh, uh, hi?"
"How long have you been up?"
He looked at the clock. "A little over an hour."
"Couldn't sleep?"
"Not really."
"Anxious about today?"
"No." His answer was too quick, and Rita's face softened.
"It'll be okay."
"I just needed something to do," he admitted.
"And you did a wonderful job. You certainly did your part of the cleaning."
"I thought it was too early to start cooking. Wait, did you get the ingredients?"
"Yes, I did; they're back there."
"Okay, good." Cole had a favorite recipe that he wanted to cook for his potential new family, figuring that everyone loves a boy who can cook. "Oh!"
"What?"
"What if they're vegetarian?!"
"Why don't you do half chicken and half vegetable so all your bases are covered?"
"Right. Good." Girls started to arrive from upstairs, rubbing sleep from their eyes. Gabby was the first to arrive, and pulled out the bowls, cereal boxes, and milk, placing them on the table. Monica was up next, raising an eyebrow at Cole but saying nothing. The rest of the girls trickled in and they all started to eat.
Rita stood. "Girls, as you all know, it's Family Day. We've got about four hours to get cooking and cleaning. Cole got a bit of a head start on you this morning. Cole, what did you do?"
"Most of the living room and downstairs bathroom."
"Alright. Shelby, the downstairs was your's, so you'll switch with Cole and do the upstairs instead, alright?"
"Sure, whatever."
"Then let's get going." Cole ended up helping Monica was the breakfast dishes, just so he could start cooking faster. He had the kitchen to himself, and applied himself quickly to the recipe for the dinner rolls. They had to rise twice, for an hour each time. After he had set them for the first rising, he started chopping for the other recipe, combining the chicken with half the onions, green onions, cilantro, red curry paste, and lime juice in one skillet. In another skillet, he substituted the chicken with mushrooms, and added the rest of the ingredients. After both had cooled for five minutes, he stirred in some mozzarella cheese. In another bowl, he added flour, baking powder, salt, butter, milk, and eggs. In muffin tins, he placed one tablespoon of the baking mixture, followed by a quarter-cup of the chicken/mushroom mixture, and topped it with another tablespoon of baking mixture. He was just about finished, when the alarm rang and he had to knead the dinner rolls again. He rolled them out, in a mixture of pecans, almonds, sunflower seeds, and toffee bits, and then set them to rise again.
By that time, both Becca and Carmen had joined him in the kitchen, Becca making orange chicken and Carmen working on a cheesy nacho casserole as an appetizer. Cole quickly shoved his mini Thai pies into the oven, and whipped up a batch of peanut sauce to go with them. As he cleaned up his mess, he kept an eye on the clock. Once Monica joined the kitchen crew, chopping up fruit to make a fruit salad, it became too crowded, and Cole disappeared into the next room. His pies would be done soon, and he hoped they had listened to him when he warned them not to thump or else his rolls would fall.
He pulled the pies out right as Carmen was ready to put her nachos in (fortunately, both dishes used the same temperature, or there could have been problems). His rolls required a slightly lower temperature, but he tended to like to cook those last, as they infused the house with the wonderful smell of baking things. Besides, they only needed about 20 minutes. He left the rolls long enough to wander throughout the house, making certain everything was just right. A brief stop in the living room allowed him enough time to finish vacuuming, and he did as near a perfect job as he could. There wasn't much amiss as he finished his tour, but Cole couldn't help but make sure every last thing was neat and orderly and in its exact place.
A ding alerted him to his rolls. They had risen nicely, and fortunately the oven was free. After putting them in, dodging Becca who was frying her chicken and Shelby who was making some kind of salad, he disappeared upstairs to clean up and change. Cole took over the bathroom, taking a quick shower as his efforts to cook and clean had made him sweat. He rewound the Ace bandage, again wishing for a binder or surgery (preferably surgery), and dressed carefully in a light yellow button-up shirt, chocolate brown trousers, and a yellow argyle sweater vest. He was careful with his hair, which made him feel uncomfortably girly. A check on the clock made him race downstairs to check on his rolls (which were done), and then he had to go back upstairs to clear his stuff from the bathroom, and put it away in his room. Finally, he sat down on his bed.
It was almost 11:00, and he was happy that he had been able to keep mind and body busy over the last few hours. They'd be here soon. Would they like it, like him? With that thought, he went back downstairs and started obsessively checking that everything was perfect.
Becca noticed. "Nicole's acting crazy, today," she said.
"Give it a rest, Becca," Shelby said. "His new family is coming. You'd be anxious, too."
"Her maybe new family," Becca sneered. "Frankly, I'm surprised anyone would want her, addicted as she is to being a boy. She should just admit to being a lesbian, like Carmen, and get over it."
"Hush, Becca, he'll hear" Shelby scolded. "You've got issues, we all get that. Stop taking them out on Cole. Give it a rest."
Cole could hear, but Becca's words were nothing that he hadn't heard before. It made him angry, but it also made him sad. Talks with Rita and Michelle had convinced him that Becca was lashing out, that he was an easy target for her not having to deal with her own problems. And that she had issues with men, not in the lesbian sense, but in the 'Mommy's boyfriends' sense, so him trying to be a man was especially difficult for her. He understood her better now, but it didn't make things any easier. And even though he was sorely tempted sometimes, he never threw the cutting into her face when she did start on him. He was trying to be the better person.
People starting coming in around 11:00. Carmen's parents showed up; they came about every other week or so. Gabby had a cousin, Monica an aunt. Shelby had an older brother, an adult; he was trying to get back on the straight-and-narrow so he could become her legal guardian since their parents were so screwed up. He was also trying to get a younger brother out of foster care. Aysha, the new girl, didn't have her privileges yet, so both she and Becca had nobody.
At 11:15, Cole started having an internal freak-out. They weren't coming. They didn't want him. Or maybe they got into some horrible car accident on the way over. That would just be his luck. And then, as he was about ready to go upstairs, he saw Emily's car, the car he had memorized on her last visit, just in case he ever had the chance to see it again. And four people exited the car – Emily, another woman, a boy, and a girl. He studied them closely as they walked up to the house. The other woman was a little shorter than Emily, a little rounder, but she had a kind face. The boy wore thick glasses and seemed to walk with a bit of a limp, the girl ran free, skipping around the little family. Alex, for that must be the other woman, helped the boy up the stairs, while Emily reached to knock. Cole beat her to it.
"Hello," he said, politely.
"Hi Cole, good to see you again. This is Makensie-"
"You can call me Mac," the girl offered.
"This is Jamie," the boy had made it up the stairs by then, "and this is Alex, my wife. Family, I'd like you to meet Cole."
"Emily has told us encouraging things about you," Alex said, offering her hand with a smile. Cole took it.
"Are you really going to be my brother?" Jamie asked.
Cole glanced up at Emily. "We'll see," Emily told her son.
"Why don't you all come inside?" Cole said, remembering that it was impolite to keep them on the porch.
"Thank you," Alex replied, and motioned her family instead.
Rita appeared. "Well, welcome. I'm Rita, for those who haven't met me. Come on in, take a seat."
Cole found them an empty couch and a couple of chairs. He sat with them, awkwardly, before jumping up, "Are you thirsty? Can I get you anything?"
"Water would be nice,"Alex said. The rest nodded. Cole went into the kitchen. Aysha was there, still cooking.
"So that's who may be your new foster family?"
"Yeah."
"Lesbians?"
"So what?"
"Nuthin'. It's cool."
Cole grabbed a tray, put some glasses on it, and a pitcher of ice water that had fresh raspberries floating in it. "Do you like raspberries?" he asked, nervously. "I can get you plain water."
"I adore raspberries," Emily said, accepting a glass.
"We have raspberry plants at home," Mac added, also accepting a glass. "And blueberries and strawberries and lemons and even an apple tree."
"And tomatoes," Jamie told his sister.
"I was naming the fruit."
"Tomatoes are a fruit."
"Well, we usually eat them with vegetables. They should be a vegetable."
"Except they're not."
"Kids," Alex prompted.
"Do you live on a farm?" Cole asked, confused.
"No, we just have a bit of a garden on a little more than an acre of land," Emily said.
"And a nice big house; you have your own room," Mac added.
"I will?"
"Yep. It's right next to mine. Jamie is across the hall, near Moms'."
Cole noticed that Jamie was carefully studying him, and it was a little unnerving, the intensity of the look coming from behind those thick glasses in such a young face. Finally, Jamie spoke, and his question was not one that Cole would have anticipated.
"Are you a superhero?"
"Am I what?" Cole was confused.
"A superhero."
"Umm."
"Maybe you can't tell me; it's like your cover or something. But if you're going to be my brother, you should tell your family members."
"Why do you think I'm a superhero?"
"Well, you look one way on the outside, but are different on the inside. Lots of superheroes have two aspects. Like Superman, who is nerdy reporter Clark Kent on the outside. Or Spiderman, who is nerdy photographer and scientist Peter Parker. Or Batman, who is playboy millionaire Bruce Wayne. Or-"
"I think he's got it, Jamie," Alex interrupted.
"You must have awesome powers to be able to switch your disguises so readily if you want. Most superheroes have to stay one gender, on the outside and the inside. But not you, right?"
Cole looked at Emily. Was this one of the moments he was supposed to ask for help? Should he answer Jamie? How should he answer?
"If Cole's got a superpower, he can't blow his cover yet," said Emily. She turned to Cole. "Jamie likes superheroes. He's got quite the comic book collection."
"I'm going to be a superhero when I grow up. I mean, I look weak and nerdy now, with my big glasses, but so did Peter Parker before he got bit by a spider." Jamie spoke confidently.
"No spiders," Alex warned. It seemed like an old debate.
Mac, bored, changed the topic. "My birthday's in a month or so," she told Cole, excitedly. "Are you coming? If you're going to be my big brother, you should totally come."
"I'll try to make it," Cole told her.
"Good."
"Families," Rita called out. "Would you place join us in the dining room? The girls have prepared a late lunch."
Cole led the Kings into the dinner room. "This all looks delicious," Alex said.
"We do all the cooking and cleaning ourselves," Cole told her.
"That's right," Emily said. "You said that you cooked a little. Did you make any of this?"
"Um, yeah," Cole said. "I made those rolls," he said, pointing, "and these," motioning at the pies.
"What are they?" Mac asked.
"They're called mini Thai pies. Those have chicken, and those are vegetarian."
"Well, then, we'll have to try them," Emily said, choosing one of the vegetarian ones. Cole noticed that Alex, Mac, and Jamie all took the chicken. Jamie, in fact, looked like he had a plate of everything. Mac was the pickier eater.
As they sat back down, Alex asked, "So, do you like to cook?"
"I do, actually."
"Me, too. Emily does most of the baking. It seems like you do both, and well."
Cole blushed a little. Emily stepped in to rescue him from embarrassment. "How'd you learn?"
"I learned here. They make us go to cooking classes after school. So, Chinese, Italian, Indian, Mexican, Thai, Southern home-style..."
"That's quite the range."
"Yeah, but I like it. Mixing up styles is kinda fun, too. Carmen, she makes these meatballs from ground beef and cornbread, and tops them with enchilada sauce. Stuff like that."
"That sounds like fun."
"I'm done," Mac said shortly. She looked at the foosball table longingly. "Can we play?" she asked Emily.
"Cole?" Emily redirected the question.
"It's fine," Cole said.
"Go, but keep the noise down," Emily told her kids. "Remember, there are other people here, too."
"Yeah, yeah, we know," Mac said. She ran off, Jamie following more slowly.
Cole's stomach was too tight to eat much, so he picked at his food, while Emily and Alex finished up. When he noticed they were finished, he asked, "Do you want some more?"
"That was delicious, but I think I've eaten all I can," Emily said. Alex nodded in agreement.
"Can I take your plates, then?"
"In a minute. Let's talk, first." But though Alex had said it, she did not seem forthcoming, and they sat in silence.
"You're good with them," Emily commented, eyes turning towards the kids. "And they like you. We were waiting to see if that would be so."
"They're great kids."
"I hope Jamie didn't offend you, with his comments about superheroes."
"Not at all. In fact, I don't think I've ever had anyone think I'm a superhero before. Mostly they just call me freak. I kinda like the superhero idea."
"Well, you'll certainly hear a lot more of it."
Cole paused for a second, unsure, and then came out with you. "They're talking like this is a sure thing. You're talking like you've already made up your mind about me."
"We've talked about you a lot, Cole. We weren't seriously looking when we came across your profile, even though Mac and Jamie have been asking for more siblings. They're part of a larger sibling group, though their other siblings are adopted to different families, so I think they're just used to crowds. But when we came across your profile, something about you drew us in and we thought that maybe this was the right time. After Emily met you, and came home glowing, it seemed more sure. I mean, I wanted to meet you for myself, but really, what we wanted to see was how you interacted with Mac and Jamie," Alex said.
"And you passed with flying colors," Emily said.
"That's not to say we think it's all going to be sunshine and roses. There's going to be times when they really get on your nerves and you snap, and we expect that. Actually, when that happens, it means you will be finally comfortable in your role as brother. And likely, there are other things that will come up and need to be hashed out. That's fine, too."
"The last time I was here, I asked you to consider us. What do you think about all this? I mean, here we are plowing ahead, but is this something you want?" Emily asked.
Cole hesitated. "I wasn't expecting anyone to respond to my profile. Who wants a freak?"
"You're not a freak, and we do."
"Say yes. Please, Cole, say yes," the high voice of Mac was suddenly coming from behind him, and Cole jumped a little in his seat.
"Yes, Cole. Say yes. There are too many girls at home as it is." It was Jamie's simple phrase that really undid him. Too many girls at home. Jamie did not, then, put him into that category. That simple acceptance was all that Cole had ever wanted.
"Yes." He said. "Yes."
"We'll talk to your social worker on Monday, then," Emily said, with a huge smile. The kids squealed and Mac gave him a tight hug, followed by Emily.
Jamie gave him a look. "Girls" was all he said, sounding exasperated.
"Where's the bathroom?" Alex asked, as the excitement died down.
"Down the hall," Cole offered. "Do you want me to show you?"
"I'm sure I can find it, but thanks." She got up and left, quietly processing the recent turn of events. Emily always went full speed ahead, but Alex was a little more cautious about shaking things up. There was something about Cole, though, and she had to agree with Emily's feeling that he would be a good fit for their family. As Alex was returning to her soon-to-be-expanded family, she noticed a teenage girl lurking around her.
"Hi," she said, her psychologist-trained mind catching a sense of something.
"You're here for Cole?"
"Yes. I'm Alex. What's your name?"
"I'm Carmen. Are you really adopting him?"
"Fostering, yes. Adopting, hopefully."
"That's cool. Cole's lucky, finding people like you. I suppose, you're pretty open-minded."
"I try to be."
"It must be nice to be in a place where people are cool with you."
"You mean Cole, being transgender?"
"No, well, yeah, but I mean you, too. You're lesbians, right?"
"Yeah, Emily and I are married."
"That's cool. Where I come from, people aren't so cool with that."
"Sometimes it can be difficult to be out when your family is from a culture where heterosexual is the only accepted orientation," Alex offered. She was starting to see why this girl wanted to talk to her.
"Something like that," was all Carmen said. She seemed to shut back down, and Alex knew that she had lost the moment.
Alex reached into her pocket and pulled out a card. "Here's my card. Call me if you ever want to talk about it."
"I don't have any money to see a shrink."
"Who said anything about money?" She motioned with the hand still holding the card, and Carmen finally took it, before walking away without a word. Alex sighed. Coming out was never easy. It wasn't easy for her, and if she could spare another teenager that pain, she would. It was her own private crusade, and one of the reasons she knew they had to help Cole. One study had shown that 45% of transgender youth aged 18-24 had attempted suicide at least once, and one of the strongest determinants of that was having no support system and an unstable environment.
"It's looks like people are starting to go," she commented, getting back to her family.
"Technically, we wrap up at four," Cole said, checking the clock. "But Rita's not too strict about being exactly on time, not on Family Day." It was quarter to four.
"Well, let's not chance her wrath, not the first visit. Kids, bathroom?" Alex asked.
"Yep."
"Yep."
"It's back here," Alex said, leading the way.
Emily smiled at Cole. "I could stay here and talk to you for hours, but that time will come. We have to get the kids home; the more of a schedule we keep, the better it works out for everything."
"I understand."
"They'll be time enough later, once you come home."
"You really mean it?"
"Yes, we do. We'll talk to your social worker in the morning, and get the ball rolling. I can't tell you how long it'll take – it could be a week, it could be a month – but I will promise that every week you're still here, we'll come on Family Day, just to prove that we haven't forgotten about you, alright?"
"Alright."
"Hug?"
"Sure." As Emily hugged him, Cole thought that he could get used to this. He really could.
"You better be around by my birthday," Mac said, coming up behind him unexpectedly, again. It might take a little longer to get used to that.
