Disclaimer: I don't own the Fosters, only the plot and any characters you don't recognize from the show.
Author's Note: Yes, I know, it's been like four months, I'm terrible. No excuses. My life just kinda blew up on me a little and on top of it, my laptop broke. Hopefully, I'm back now, but I'm not making any promises I can't keep. Thanks to all who are still reading this.
Cole woke with the sunrise. He had hated waking up earlier in the sun in the winter; there's nothing like waking up to pitch blackness that makes a body just want to go back to sleep. He didn't have the option at Girls United, where they made him get up at 5:45 am, or at juvie, and he often saw the sunrise after he ran away from home, but only because he was up all night. The Kings didn't seem to care when he got up; Alex had told him that the first morning he'd been here. She was surprised to see him up when she got up, and welcomed the breakfast he had made. It would seem as though normal teenagers slept til noon during the summer. Well, not him.
It was the day of the barbecue, and his mind was swirling with thoughts. He'd just gotten used to being here, with Alex and Emily and Mac and Jamie, and it was nice. They treated him exactly like he wanted to be treated. He was starting to feel safe here, like this actually might be good people and a good situation, something he hadn't really thought was possible. But maybe all that was just a fragile bubble. People did...weird things under the pressure of friends and family. So, maybe Alex and Emily and Mac and Jamie all accepted and liked him, but what if their friends and family didn't? Could the disapproval and problems make them ship him back to Girls United, saying something like "sorry, we like you but we didn't expect it to be this much trouble"? Why did he ever agree to this barbecue?
His thoughts were a dangerous place to be in alone that morning, and he had enough sense to recognize this. So he got up, pulled on any old clothes, and went out to the kitchen. No one was up yet. No surprise there. He opened the refrigerator and poured himself a glass of orange juice, pondering what to make for breakfast. He was kind of in the mood for pancakes, which were usually a safe bet, and he remembered that there were in fact some early blueberries in the garden. Cole grinned. Blueberry pancakes. Yum. He grabbed a bowl and went outside.
The early morning air was refreshing against his skin, nothing like the heat that would be coming later in the day. It was also very quiet, with very little movement. No cars moved on the residential street, he saw nobody but a single jogger. He'd never gardened much – there was some outdoor upkeep at Girls United, but that was it – but he liked being here in the vegetable garden. There was something so satisfying about being about to take care of a young plant and then watch it reward you with tasty, sweet treats. Emily enjoyed it well enough, but it was Alex who was real gardener out of the two, Alex who called gardening her own personal therapy. She promised that, in the spring, she would show him how to take a seed and raise it to a healthy plant if he wanted. He smiled then, and again now, at the memory. In the spring. She was assuming he'd still be here then.
He gathered the blueberries. There were a lot, more than enough for his plans. But it was still too early for everyone else and he wasn't too hungry himself yet. The porch swing looked so inviting, so he lounged there, looking out over the garden and the street. He focused on the birds chirping, watched them fight each other at the bird feeder. He'd always liked birds. They seemed so careless and free all the time. He'd often dreamed of being a bird, of flying high above the clouds, of perching on a tree branch to preen his wings. Birds also didn't have to deal with much in the way of external gender markers. He looked down at his chest, wishing he had smooth feathers there inside of a constricting bandage. Most people couldn't even tell looking at a bird which gender it was. He sighed. There he went again, those thoughts intruding on a peaceful morning. Well, there was only one thing to do about that. Time to find something to do.
He brought the bowl of blueberries back into the house and carefully washed and drained them in the sink. He set a saucepan on the stove, and tossed in 2 cups of blueberries, a quarter cup of water, a cup of orange juice, and three-quarters cup of white sugar before bringing it all to boil. In another bowl, he mixed another quarter cup of water and three tablespoons of cornstarch, which he then stirred gently in the saucepan with the blueberries, and turned down to heat to a simmer. In a few minutes, the sauce was thick enough to coat the back of a spoon. He turned off the heat and tossed in some cinnamon and the tiniest dash of vanilla extract, and then left it to cool. He still didn't have a good handle on when everyone got up, so it might cool too much. Oh well. It could always be reheated and thinned with water if necessary.
He threw together a batch of pancake batter and tossed the rest of the blueberries in it. He'd added a little cinnamon and vanilla to the recipe, just to tie it all together with the sauce. As he ladled the batter on the griddle, he suddenly, silently cursed himself. Why did he mix blueberries into all the batter? What if they didn't even like blueberry pancakes? He checked the supplies. There was enough for another batch. Should he make it up now, just in case, or wait and hope for the best? He flipped the first cake, trying to decide.
"Smells good."
Cole spun around. Alex was standing in the kitchen. "Oh, I'll start your coffee." He stretched an arm out sideways to hit the button on the coffee machine, which was always prepared the night before.
Alex laughed. "You know, as much as I like it, you don't have to make breakfast for us."
He shrugged. "I like doing it."
"Well, don't let me stop you. Is there anything I can help with?"
"No, I got it. But, do you like blueberry pancakes?"
"Love them. Especially with fresh blueberries. They're the second favorite kind of pancake around here. The first is chocolate chip. But that's limited to birthdays and special occasions, though sometimes chocolate chip waffles are requested instead of pancakes." She took a seat at the kitchen counter.
"Okay. Good. I just started making them, but then I didn't know..."
"Cole, you're welcome to make whatever you like. Even if it isn't on everyone else's favorite menu. I want you to feel at home here. This is your kitchen now, okay?"
Cole shrugged. "Okay." He knew that's what she wanted to hear, anyway. He'd wait and see. He turned back to the griddle. "First pancakes are done. Want them?"
"Sure thing, unless you do."
"No, they're your's. I made some blueberry sauce to go with them, or I think I saw some maple syrup in the fridge. I was going to make some fresh whip cream, but there wasn't any whipping cream. Sorry."
"You don't need to apologize for that. What a luxury. I've never had fresh, homemade blueberry sauce before. And we'll put whipping cream on the grocery list."
Cole served her a plate and poured her a mug of coffee to go with it, adding the sweetener and creamer just the way he knew she liked it. They had spent a couple mornings together by now, so he knew her preferences. As she began eating, he puddled some more batter on the griddle.
"This is delicious!"
"Thanks."
"What's delicious?" Emily walked into the kitchen. Cole reflexively checked the clock. She was a little earlier than usual, tending more towards staying up late than getting up early.
"Cole's made up blueberry pancakes, Em," Alex said, after she'd swallowed. "With homemade blueberry sauce."
"Sounds great."
"Take a seat. The next batch should be ready in a minute. I'll grab you some coffee." He flipped the pancakes, and grabbed a mug. Pouring a cup of coffee, he added cinnamon and chocolate milk. The first time he saw Emily doing this, he thought it seemed strange, but she seemed to enjoy it well enough. He almost wanted to try it, just to see, but coffee really wasn't his thing. The pancakes were done just as he finished putting the chocolate milk away, so he flipped them on a plate, added some sauce, and served up Emily.
"Wow, Cole, this looks great. I think you're spoiling us. You know, you don't have to make breakfast all the time."
"I tried telling him that already," Alex mumbled over a mouthful.
"I enjoy it. I like having something to do in the morning." He turned back to the griddle as Emily dug in.
As there were no new arrivals to the kitchen, the next batch he ate himself, noting objectively that they were pretty good though fresh whip cream would have made them better.
"So, let's think about the barbecue," Alex said, sipping her coffee. "We've already picked up the hotdogs and hamburgers and veggie burgers and buns and drinks. I was thinking about making a pasta salad as a side?"
"Yeah, sounds good. Cupcakes for dessert? That's usually a easy crowd pleaser."
"Do we have frosting?"
"I could make a lemon buttercream frosting," Cole piped up. "And a chocolate buttercream."
"Yummy. Do you know if we have the ingredients?"
"Uhh." Cole thought for a minute. "Lemon extract?"
"Yeah, it's there. Probably in the back of the cabinet."
"Then, yes, I think so."
"And there's ice cream. That should be enough. Everyone's bringing something, so we should be good."
"Do you know if anyone's bringing watermelon? Mac'll be crushed if there isn't any."
"My sister said she would."
"Okay good."
"You know, it's getting late. We're going to have company in a few hours. So, Cole, if you would, why don't you do pancakes for Mac and Jamie, Alex, you can start helping Cole with the clean-up and begin the pasta salad since that's better if it cools in the fridge before serving, and I'll get the kids up and going? How does that sound?"
"Like a plan." Alex took a last sip of coffee. "Goodbye quiet morning."
Emily playfully shoved her wife in the shoulder before taking another gulp of her coffee and heading down the hall. Cole grabbed the plates and dumped them in the sink, before turning the heat back on the stove. He ladled puddle after puddle of pancake batter on the griddle, and turned pancake after pancake over onto a plate, scraping down the bowl to get the last dregs of batter. He wasn't sure how many pancakes Mac and Jamie would want, but figured leftovers wouldn't hurt anyone. Alex took the bowl from him the second he was down, and rinsed it in the sink before placing it in the dishwasher.
Soon enough, the sounds of footsteps came from down the hall, and the two younger kids, still in their pajamas, blinked sleepy eyes as they took their places around the kitchen counter. He placed glasses of orange juice in front of both of them.
"Good morning!" Mac said cheerfully. "Momma said you made pancakes. I love pancakes."
"Yeah, me too," Jamie added, pushing his glasses up his nose.
"Well, grab some," Cole said.
"What's this?" Mac asked, pointing to the gravy boat Cole was using to hold the blueberry sauce.
"It's a sort of syrupy sauce made of blueberries. If you want regular syrup, I can get you that."
"Well, I guess I'll try it." Mac reached her unused fork into the boat and took out the tiniest little bit at the tip which she then placed thoughtfully into her mouth. "It's good." She sounded surprised.
"Well, it's mostly blueberries, sugar, and water, so it should be," Cole said drolly. He watched as Mac poured a bunch of it over her pancakes before relinquishing the boat to Jamie, who had no such gustatory hangups. Cole turned around, and saw that Alex had grabbed the griddle and was cleaning it.
"I can do that," he protested.
"It's easy enough. Besides, can't let you do all the work around here."
"But don't you need to start on your salad?"
"Well, if you want to help chop, it'll go a lot faster."
"Sure thing."
"Mom, can we help too?" Mac asked.
"Well, there's not much interested to do now, not until we start to mix everything anyway. Why don't you two get dressed and go see if Momma needs some help, and we'll let you know when we're ready in here, okay?"
"What's Momma doing?" Jamie asked.
"Picking up, cleaning, setting up the backyard, that kind of thing. We're going to have visitors in a few hours, remember? So there's lots to do."
"More cleaning? I thought we did all that yesterday," Mac groaned.
"We did most of it. But we have to set up the tables and chairs and games and stuff." She turned to Cole with an eye roll and a grin. "At least some people are bringing chairs; we'd never have enough otherwise."
"Games?"
"Yep."
"Okay." That seemed to satisfy Mac. "It's a lot of work to set up for a party."
Cole reddened. Should he apologize? Aren't they going through all this trouble on his behalf?
"Think of it as practice for your birthday party in a couple of weeks, young miss. Unless, you think it's too much work?"
"Nope, no, not at all." And with that quick rejoinder, Mac started shoveling food back into her mouth.
Alex turned to Cole and grinned. "So, about that chopping..."
"What needs to be done?"
She smacked a block of cheddar cheese down in front of him. "This needs to be cubed."
"How much?" It seemed rather large.
"All of it." She turned to pot a large saucepan of water on to boil, and Cole diligently got to work. Alex minced onions, measured macaroni, and sliced celery. Cole took over the celery after he finished with the cheese, while she drained cans of sweet corn. To the cooked macaroni, she added oil, vinegar, salt, pepper, the cheese, onions, celery corn, a whole bag of frozen peas, and lots of mayonnaise, while Cole stirred it all together.
"Here, taste," Alex instructed, grabbing two forks from the drawer and handing one to Cole.
"Pretty good."
"It's sorta my barbecue, potluck, etc go-to dish. Besides all the chopping, it's not that much work, and it's easy to make a lot."
"This sure is a lot." They covered the bowl with saran wrap and made room for it in the refrigerator.
"Thanks for all your help."
"Not a problem." They worked companionably to finish off the few dishes.
"I'm going to go see if I can take over for Em now, so she can start on the cupcakes. Do you need me to get you anything for the frosting?"
"No, thanks. I think I know where everything is now."
"Good." She left. Cole turned back to the full refrigerator. He pulled out the cream cheese and the milk, setting them next to the vanilla extract and the butter he left on the counter earlier to soften. Out of the cupboards, he grabbed salt, unsweetened chocolate, and powdered sugar, and dug around until he found the lemon extract. There was almond extract sitting next to that, so he grabbed that too, figuring it might make a good addition. He put the chocolate in a small saucepan to melt. After that, it was simplicity to beat the cream cheese and butter together, and add the salt, sugar, and milk.
Emily walked in. "Oh, have you started the frosting already? Good for you."
"I'm almost done." He split the buttercream base into two parts, added the lemon and almond extracts to one, and continued beating it until it was whipped and creamy. The minute he turned the beater off, a finger came in and stole a dollop of it.
"Yummy," Emily said, sucking on her finger. Cole shook his head slightly, hiding a smile. He washed the mixer off, and added the cooled chocolate and vanilla extract to the other bowl, and beat that together. Emily stole some of that, too. He covered both bowls and put them in the refrigerator.
Emily was getting out supplies. "Do you need a hand?" he asked, rinsing off the mixer again in case she might need it, and then getting started on the rest of the dishes. There weren't many, and he was done quickly.
"No, thanks. I promised Mac and Jamie I'd let them help with the cupcakes since they missed out on the salad."
"Oh, right, sorry. I guess we were just kinda on a role there."
"It's not a problem. I think they'd have preferred the cupcakes anyway. Do you want to call them for me?"
"Sure thing." Cole dried his hands and went outside to the backyard. It looked much different than last night. Besides the usually picnic table, two large folding tables with tablecloths were set up. Party plates were piled next to plastic silverware and cups, and an ice chest under the end of one table promised cold drinks. The kids and Alex were placing a motley assortment of chairs around.
"Hey Cole," Jamie said.
"Hey." He paused for a second. "She's ready for help with the cupcakes, if you want." He never knew quite how to refer to Emily and Alex. 'Your mom' seemed like he was denying any claim to them, but he wasn't comfortable referring to either of them as 'Mom'. He used their first names when he had to address them directly, but felt awkward doing so in front of Mac and Jamie. Fortunately, in this situation, it was pretty easy for Jamie to figure out who he talking about.
"Okay, cool. Hey Mac!" he yelled.
"What?"
"Momma's ready for us."
"Yay!" Mac came running and they both disappeared inside.
He walked over to Alex. "Need any help?"
"I think we have it handled, actually, and there's still a little over an hour until guests arrive. Amazing. Usually we're still setting up when they get here. It must be you." She smiled at him. "If you want to grab a shower or something, now would probably be an excellent time."
"Yeah, sure, good idea." Cole went back into the house, and carefully considered his clothing before settling on a blue and yellow plaid short sleeve shirt, tan slacks, and his yellow argyle vest. He grabbed boxers and an undershirt, and brought it all with him to the bathroom.
The cool water of the shower felt great against his skin. The day was promising to be very warm, and he was growing to envy Mac and Jamie's shorts and t-shirts. Maybe once he had the surgery and got the hormones again...but for now, he had to disguise the parts of his outside he didn't much care for. And that involved layers, even in the heat.
Cole pulled on his boxers, and then began the slow process of binding his chest, finally covering the wraps with a snug undershirt. He pulled his loose button-up over that, and tucked the tails of it in his slacks. He studied his profile in the mirror, not too bad, with a lack of bulges on top (good) and on bottom (not so good), but pulled on his vest anyway, just to be on the safe side. He combed out his hair and brushed his teeth and hoped for the best.
Returning to his room, he put his dirty clothes in his hamper and straightened out his bed. There wasn't much else to do in there, except put socks and shoes on, which he soon did. From the sound of it, somebody else was in the other shower, and Mac and Jamie were in their rooms, probably getting ready too.
He made his way out to the kitchen in time to catch the timer on the oven ding. A toothpick inserted into one of the cupcakes showed that they were ready, so he pulled them out. He let them cool in the pan, while he checked on the earlier batch on the wire racks. They were ready to be frosted, so he did that with the lemon buttercream, pausing midway to transfer the still-hot cupcakes from the pans to racks to cool faster.
"Oh, thank God, you got them," Emily said out of breath. Her hair was still wet; clearly she had just come from the shower.
"Yeah, no sweat."
"Do you mind finishing?" She pointed up to her head. "I still have to dry my hair."
"Not a problem." He finished with the lemon icing. There was a little left in the bowl, which he ate with a spoon, feeling slightly guilty. He then washed the bowl and placed it in the dishwasher. By that time, the other cupcakes were cool enough, so he put the chocolate icing on them. He had to scrape the dregs out to finish the last one, so obviously he hadn't divided the original mixture that evenly. Oh well. Too late now. Emily had left out some candy sprinkles and this two-tier thing, so he topped both batches with the sprinkles and arranged them on the tiers. Twenty four cupcakes, half lemon and half chocolate. He did the math. That was one for everybody with a few left over. That's good. It's unlikely exactly half the people will want each flavor.
Just then, the doorbell rang. Cole froze. Somebody was here. Should he get it? Should he wait for Alex or Emily, or even Mac or Jamie?
