Chaos Collison
Hello everyone! Welcome to the exciting third chapter of 'Chaos Collison'!
We're the voices in Deadpool's head and we're here again to narrate the exciting adventures of everyone's favorite Marvel and DC heroes!
And Villains.
Right. So, who're we following today?
Did you even read the last chapter?
No way!
Why not?
We weren't in it! It was that stupid Bat-Mit instead.
Mite.
You might what?
Sigh. Nevermind. Let's just get on with the story.
Chapter 3: Ghoul Squad
It was a dark and stormy night. A young and bruised Damien Wayne has awoken to find himself tied to a chair in what looks like some creepy mansion.
"Ow," he said as a response to his splitting headache. "Where am I? Last thing I remember was a strange man on a meteor coming straight for me.
Suddenly, a scaaary looking man in a mask walks in the room.
What's with the long scary?
It's called emphasis!
"Hello young man. How are you feeling? The scary man asked.
"Who are you?"
"I, am the Hobgoblin!
The man paused, as if waiting for a dramatic effect.
I pause and wait for a dramatic effect every time after taco night!
Do you honestly have to be so childish?
"Hob who?" Robin asked, confused as to just who this strangely dressed man in front of him was.
"I'm the Hobgoblin! Foe of many! The most powerful villain there is! I rescued you from that meteor, I wasn't able to procure your arm though.
Robin suddenly looked down at his left arm. It looked pretty normal, but upon closer inspection he could see that the skin covering it was fake.
"What did you do to my arm?!"
"I didn't do anything to it. When I found you, your arm was already beyond repair. So, with some quick thinking and some "borrowed" Stark Industries technology—I made you a cyborg arm. You're lucky I covered it in a replica skin shell so you wouldn't draw attention."
"Why did you do this?!"
"Simple. In return for my kind gesture, you will help me to—DESTROY THE GHOUL SQUAD!
"…The who?" There he goes being confused again!
"Oh right, I forgot you've been unconscious for the past two weeks."
"Two weeks?!"
"Yes now pay attention. The Ghoul Squad is a team of anti-heroes who formed after the shift. They—"
"Hold on," Robin interrupts Hobgoblin, "What's the shift?"
"Jeez I was speaking! If you must know, the shift is an event that happened two weeks ago. It was around the time of the meteor and the appearance of the Lost One. It caused some strange "shift" in our world's balance and according to some, effectively merged our world with another. Making the world twice as big."
"Who's the Lost One?"
"Someone we don't talk about. Now, as I was saying. I—
Hobgoblin was again interrupted by the sound of a large wall being crashed in behind him. The wall collapsed on him, covering him in brick and dust. Behind the hole in the wall are a group of more oddly dressed people. Hob crawls from under the rubble and tries to stand, but is thwarted in this attempt by a boot that's been planted on his back.
Ooh nice description!
Thanks, I've been working on it.
"Hey there Hobby! How's it hanging?" said the man holding down "Hobby" with his boot.
It was Ghost Rider! And behind him was an ensemble cast of characters including Mad Jack, Green Goblin, Jack O' Lantern, Prometheus, and Lobo!
"Get off of me now!" The Hobgoblin ordered Ghost Rider.
"Can I kill him? He keeps making that annoying sound with his mouth," Lobo says.
"Nah, he ain't worth it," Ghost Rider took notice of robin and nearly swallowed his toothpick.
Honestly I don't get how the toothpick doesn't just fizzle up in flames, seeing how his face is 80% fire.
Comic logic. Don't question it.
"Well, well. Look what we got here! It's the wanted bird," Ghost Rider tells his comrades. "You got quite bounty on you. Batman's been lookin for ya.
"Batman! He has? Take me to him!"
"Whoa whoa whoa! He's mine! He's going to help me destroy you!"
"Oh great! This again!" Mad Jack yells.
"How many times do we have to tell you," Jack O' Lantern starts, "We don't need any more members?"
Hobgoblin shot up and pointed his gun at Ghost.
"I could have been a worthy member of the Ghoul Squad! But no! You don't think I'm strong enough!"
"We already have a Goblin!" Green Goblin yelled.
"Ha! Please, I'm twice the Goblin you'll ever be Osborne! Now, you shall all pay for rejecting me, the GREAT HOBGOBLIN! PREPARE TO—
"That's enough of that."
Lobo throws a small cube at Hobgoblin. The cube lands at the maniacal villain's feet and sucks him in.
"Come on, I said no killing," complained Ghost Rider.
"I didn't kill him wuss, I just stored him in an inter-dimensional cube.
Lobo picks up the cube and loads it in a mini cannon pistol. He then aims at the sky and fires it away!
"Now that probably killed him! Haha!"
"Sigh, whatever. Alright kid, let's get you back to Batman."
Ghost Rider unstrapped Robin from his chains and helped him up.
"Thanks," Robin says.
"No problem, now where's Gotham from here?" Ghost Rider asks.
"I'm not even sure where we are."
"Oh, right. Were on the island of…Genosha!"
Robin stared at GH with even more confusion on his face. He was equally confused as to their whereabouts, and why this man had no skin on his skull.
"Am I supposed to know where that is?"
"No, not really. Don't know why I said it like that; all exposition-like."
"Can we get going now?" Green Goblin whines.
"Right. Lobo, where'd you park the jet?" Ghost Rider asks.
"Park?" Lobo responds with one eyebrow raised and a freshly lit cigar hanging from his mouth.
"Yes, park. You did park it…right?"
"Sure. If by park you meant crashed into a Genoshan blimp and then proceed to kill everyone on board. Then yeah, I parked it."
"You what?!"
"What's the big deal?"
"The big deal is that you not only destroyed our way out of here, but you've also let the mutant killing psychos know we're here!"
"Relax, we're good. We're not mutants."
"Look at my head. It's a skull, that's on fire! You think they're really gonna give a sh*t about whether or not I'm technically classified as a mutant?!"
"…Hm? Oh were you asking me? Yeah I stopped listening, say again?"
Ghost Rider groaned and stuffed his burning face into his palms.
-Meanwhile: Somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean! -
A small container falls from the sky and lands in a boat floating on the Ocean. A man in a torn cloak picks up the small box shaped object. He presses a button on its side and drops it as it glows. Out of the box rises a shaken Hobgoblin.
"Ow, my head," he says, "Who are you?"
The man says nothing. Hobgoblin's eyes suddenly widen as he realizes whose presence he is in.
"No, it can't be! T-The Lost One!"
Dun Dun Dun! Sorry to end it on such a shocking tone guys.
But we freaking love cliffhangers.
Until next time folks!
Stay safe.
And don't eat tuna fish you find in the trashcan!
I think they know that.
Is it just me who has trouble following that rule?
