. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Oh My God." said Arizona, sinking to sit criss-cross applesauce on the daycare's alphabet rug.
"I know it's a lot. And I don't know why they kept him from me. I mean, the thought that I could've had someone to let me in, to take care of me, to actually love me, I… I can't comprehend why he was hidden from me. All those nights when I ran, bleeding, to the hospital, all those times you sutured my cuts and dressed my wounds, that I had a big brother, one who would stitch me up himself," she said, subconsciously placing a hand on her cheekbone, feeling the ridges of an old scar, "One who wouldn't put the job of an intern, whose entire career depended on a good residency, in danger that there was someone who could beat the crap out of my dad when he slapped me, when he grabbed me,," her voice broke, "when he touched me."
"Hey, sweetie," said Arizona, wrapping her arms around the younger woman, "He isn't here anymore. He isn't in Seattle, he's in jail. He will rot in Jail. And if he doesn't, I will find him, and I will kill him. You don't need to think about him. You're father is gone. You don't need to remember. Not when he hit you, not when he screamed at you, not when he raped you. You don't need to think about me either. Not about how I stitched you up, not how I admitted you. That part of your life is over. Done. Now, you're a kick ass, hardcore surgeon with a new start. In Seattle you can do anything. You can tell Mark Sloan that he's your brother, but you don't have to. You can find a husband, buy a house, have lots of little babies." she smiled. "Dianna, you can completely forget about the life that you had, because it's over now. You have the world at your hands. You're young, you're smart, you're sweet, you're gorgeous, hell, you already have Alex Karev falling all over you. Honey, you aren't the same person you were when you were 13. You are a beautiful young woman. Now go to your hotel, get some rest, you're starting over tomorrow."
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
When she woke up, the light was already streaming through the sides of the closed blinds. But light probably wasn't the right word to describe it. It was a dull, yellow color, and she could see the shadow of the rain falling across the walls. She sat up in bed, groaning. Seattle was just as she expected.
As she stood up, her white t-shirt fell off of one of her shoulders, and her sweat pants fell off her hips. She stood in the mirror, sighing. Always perfect. God, she hated the way she looked. Yes, she was beautiful, but she didn't feel beautiful. Arizona would always tell her 'Pretty on the inside, pretty on the outside'. And yes, she was pretty on the inside to other people. She was sweet. Baked cookies for a preschool twice a month, helped the homeless build a new life. She was a nice person. But everything she'd been through, it made her feel ugly. She noticed the scars that no one else saw, and every time she looked at her hands, she saw the blood. It was just a flash. But she could see it. Dianna would never tell Arizona, she'd just worry and insist Dianna needed help. But she didn't need help. She had her own way of dealing with this. She had had a way to deal with this for twelve years. She'd always spent extra money on nice clothes, good makeup. She'd always look put together, act put together. People would always just assume she was put together. But when she was by herself, she wouldn't eat, she wouldn't watch tv, she wouldn't check her email. She'd sleep and sit around in clothes that were too big. Dianna would try and forget who she was, but every morning, she'd go to work and put on a front. A front that she was pretty on the inside, that she was sweet, that she was beautiful.
. . .
Her beige ankle boots clicked on the linoleum floor as she pulled off her big, prada sunglasses. That's when people started to stare. They'd stop in their tracks and look at her. She hated this. The stares and the whispers, she didn't want them. Dianna was positive that there was some insecure intern somewhere in this hospital that would be glad to have anything that breathes stare at her.
"Damn snow," April muttered, running right into the back of her.
"Oh my God, I'm such a spaz! Hey, are you Dianna?"
"Yeah, I am." Dianna laughed, taking off her coat.
"Oh, I'm sorry for running into you, it's been a hectic week and I don't even know what's gonna happen today. Oh, God, well, I'm April Kepner. Doctor, Yeah. Doctor April. Doctor April Kepner. Yep, thats me."
"Well, it's nice to meet you, doctor April Kepner."
"Hey, Have you seen the Attendings lounge? Doctor Hunt just gave me the allowance to redo it. Oh, you'll love it! It so amazing," April went on, causing Dianna to giggle. "Here, I'll take you over." April offered, starting in the direction of what she presumed to be the Attendings lounge.
"Have you met anyone?"
"Um, yeah, yeah. I met Doctor HUnt, of course, uh, Doctor Torres, Doctor… Karev?" April nodded, "And, uh, Doctor Sloan."
"Oh, I feel so bad for him. Just not knowing…" Dianna froze.
"Wh- What?"
"Oh, did you not hear? His… um… lover, I guess…"
"For the last time, Alex, I don't know why Lexie left. The only one that knows anything between the two of them is Derek. If you need to know something, ask him."
"Come on Mer… You have to know something!" Alex moaned.
"Don't be a child," Jackson chided, sipping his coffee.
"Don't act like I'm the only one who wants to know, pretty boy. Even Kepner over there is bubbling with excitement."
"I am not! And, anyway, this is Dianna. She's new."
"Med school?" asked Cristina, crossing her arms.
"Columbia."
"Honors?"
"Valedictorian."
"Dude!" Alex exclaimed, "At Columbia?"
"Residency?"
"John Hopkins."
"Dude!" Alex repeated, spinning around.
"Good enough. Now, go, sit in the corner with green eyes while Mer spills."
"Was that a compliment?" Dianna asked quietly, leaning towards April.
"It was, and, don't worry, Jackson's sweet. He's also my husband, but you know…" Dianna went to sit next to Jackson after putting her stuff in the new cubby she was assigned to.
"Ok, so, all I know, was what I heard at dinner. After Lexie took her boards, Mrs. SHepherd invited us to dinner. Mark and Lexie were sitting next to each other, and Mark was talking to her, Quietly," she added, glaring at Alex. "And I think he was one of her board examiners, along with Liam COlumbus, who's now her… Boyfriend." she added, causing everyone to look down. No matter what happened, most of them had always pulled for Mark and Lexie. "SO, at dinner, they were talking, and she said something about thinking of another guy, a guy who wasn't Mark, even though everyone else knew it was, and he got really rude. He started naming people, and lets just say two are married and the other two are in this room." Jackson choked on his own tongue right as Dianna had realized what Meredith was inferring.
"ooh, ooh, let me guess: Owen and…"
"And Derek." Meredith said quietly.
"Oh God," April exclaimed, burying her head in her hands.
"He was paranoid, and he just got really hung up on this idea that Lexie and Derek were having an affair. And when Carolyn asked her where she took her job… She told us… 'Under Doctor Columbus'" Alex sighed loudly, squeezing his eyes shut.
"Liam did he residency with Mark, Derek and Addison and when Mark heard that she was leaving… and the way she said it… he kind of snapped.
:What did he say?" Cristina asked.
"He called her the… Chief of Neurosurgery's Little Whore."
"Oh My God!" April Exclaimed
"And she slapped him."
"Oh, Lexie." Alex whispered.
"Turns out, Mark proposed."
"He did what!?" they all exclaimed in unison, shooting out of their seats.
Dianna felt like she was going to throw up. Was this what her brother was like? Calling the woman he loved a whore? Dianna grew up like that and if this was the way Mark Sloan treated people, well, she didn't want to know him.
...
A/N- I'm still not happy with the amount of votes, so I'll wait until absolutely necessary to decide who D will end up with. So keep voting!
What do y'all think of M's story? (For those who didn't read SHLEB.) (For those who did, I apologize that you had to go through that again. It hurt like hell to write.)
And What about D's impression of M? We all know he's not like that, but she doesn't. Maybe A will help. And will A tell C about D?
Review!
You Know You Love Me,
XOXO,
DLS
