Author's Note: This idea came to me as I watched the previous episode. Oliver is so clearly in love with Felicity but his determination to protect her is merely serving to drive her away. This won't be an actual full story - most likely a series of one-shots.
Hint: The following chapter after this will be based on the Winter-Finale forehead kiss.
Synopsis: Following the story line from the television show - 2 years on from where we are in season 3 (mainly 3x01).
The streets of Starling City was deserted as it was past midnight; Oliver Queen stuffed his hands deep into the pocket of his winter coat succumbing to the overwhelming feeling of numbness. He dragged his feet behind him as if they were too heavy, his mind wandering relentlessly. He had lost her to another, forever. Years prior he had always imaged his happy ending with Laurel however from the moment he met Felicity Smoak he had found himself falling for her bit by bit until he became consumed by what he felt for her. He had always thought that letting Felicity go was the right thing to do, although he'd broken her heart in the process, he had done it in order to protect her from the life he led. Choosing this dangerous complicated life for himself was one thing, however he was unwilling to put her in jeopardy by pursuing what he felt for her. Despite all of this, deep down he'd always believed that it would be him and her in the very end therefore when Diggle informed him that Ray Palmer had proposed to her that night, he found himself seized by horror and grief. The only word he could use to describe what he felt was paralysis. He felt paralyzed and numb; completely and utterly unable to do anything about the situation at hand.
Returning to his consciousness he found himself outside her house and although every inch of him screamed for him to knock on her front door he refused to be selfish with her. He had made the decision to walk away, if she had managed to find happiness with another the least he could do was be happy for her.
Felicity sat on the floor of the foundry her heels kicked off to the side, lazily. She took a swig from the bottle of Whiskey she had found behind the counter of the bar and pulled a disgusted face as it burned down her throat. It was positively disgusting. How people managed to drink it so regularly she would never know, it was nauseating – however it served a good purpose for what she wanted to achieve. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand she leaned back against the cold wall crossing her outstretched legs over each other. She shouldn't be here, she knew that. It was a bad idea. A very terrible, very un-Felicity like idea. It hadn't been intentional of her to wind up here, one minute she had gotten into her car and the next she found herself at Verdant at which point one thing led to another. The place was deserted she had discovered fairly swiftly and therefore she had reduced to drinking alone.
Several minutes had passed before Oliver entered the foundry and she felt his presence way before she heard him. The sound of his quiet footsteps filled the room as he approached her, he was a sight to behold. Felicity froze in place her previously steady heart picking up the pace the way it always did in his presence. He looked striking in a steel grey gabardine suit, the top button of his crisp white shirt undone and a black tie loose around his neck. The longer she stared at him, the more she felt her chest constrict. He met her eyes steadily and gave her a quizzical look his eyebrows quirking upwards in confusion.
"Felicity, what are you doing here alone?"
"I don't know," she admitted with a shrug of her shoulders settling for honesty. "I guess I wasn't ready to go home just yet."
"Is that my Whiskey? Are you drunk?!" he added the last bit his voice sounding incredulous. She smiled slightly at the surprise in his tone knowing precisely what he was thinking. She wasn't a drinker, never had been – yet here she was with a bottle in her hand.
"No. That was the goal, but turns out alcohol is even more disgusting than I remember if that's even possible," she mumbled.
He crouched down in front of her his eyes intense, focused and worried as he assessed her, his eyes darting over her. Felicity sat with her back against the wall a thousand unwanted questions lingering at the tip of her tongue.
"Did Ray do something to hurt you?" he asked after a brief moment his eyes sharpening, the edge clear in his voice.
"No," she laughed at the irony of the situation pulling herself to her feet clinging to the bottle in her right hand.
Standing up with her he reached over and slowly pulled the Whiskey out of her grasp and placed it to the side his eyes searching hers making her feel uncomfortable.
"Diggle told me the good news. Ray proposed?" he said after a brief moment of silence clearly attempting a new approach.
Fighting the tears that were threatening to escape every time she allowed herself to think about to this evening; everything had been perfect for the past few years, or so she had thought until that very last minute.
"The good news?" she was unable to keep the bitter edge to her voice at bay.
He looked momentarily confused and evidently un-expectant of her outburst. She loathed how easily he managed to keep himself together whilst she felt like she was falling apart.
"It's what you wanted, isn't it?" he asked the tone of his voice now careful as if at any moment he would say the wrong thing causing her to snap. "Felicity, what's gotten into you?"
"It's you!" she snapped flicking her right hand into his general direction and answering his latter question. "I finally found someone who actually loved me for who I am, a guy who's funny, intelligent and handsome who understood me – he's everything I've ever wanted," she breathed releasing all the thoughts she'd been holding within for quite some time. When she said the last part she could have sworn there'd been a brief look of hurt in his eyes that disappeared as quickly as it had emerged.
Oliver remained silent waiting for her to continue.
"When he proposed to me tonight I was supposed to be happy! I was supposed to feel butterflies, say yes and fling myself into his arms but instead I felt my heart sink because I knew it wasn't what I wanted. I wasn't happy because he wasn't you, Oliver," she breathed finally for the first time confessing her feelings out loud to him. He always knew precisely how she felt but she'd never been brave enough to verbalize it.
She regarded him steadily noticing the vague silver of hope in his eyes as he addressed her, his eyes lingered on hers. Her heart beat rapidly against her rib cage and she found herself holding her breath as she anticipated his response. He twitched very briefly almost as if reaching out for her but then he stilled, watching her silently. Feeling uncomfortable and hurt, she wiped the stray tear that had traced a path down her cheek.
"Felicity," he murmured stepped towards her gingerly but keeping his arms limply by his side; his decision clear to the both of them.
"No," she interrupted raising her hand to still him. "I can't move on because I haven't let you go. I'm still hung up on you because we never put a full stop to this," she whispered ignoring the other tear that had escaped as she bravely took a step towards him. "Two years ago at the hospital I asked you to tell me you never loved me and that it was never work out between us but you didn't, instead you chose to tell me you loved me without actually saying it! I don't want my life to be like this, I don't want to lose any more chances of happiness because a part of me still wants this," she continued gesturing at herself and him.
He reached up and gently stroked her cheek wiping away a falling tear with his thumb. Feeling her pulse quicken the moment his skin came into contact with hers she stepped back slightly. A pained expression crossed his features as he allowed his hand to drop back down to his side.
"This time I want an answer Oliver. Tell me you love me and want to have a real go at this, or let me go," she finished firmly feeling determined.
It hadn't been that she didn't love Ray, she did and for the past two years she genuinely believed that she'd put Oliver behind her, however when she had been faced with the commitment of marriage doubt had seeped its way into her veins. She was still in love with Oliver, she knew it, Ray knew it and so did everyone else.
No more, this moment was going to be make or break she decided. She refused to love a ghost for the rest of her life, if Oliver wanted to choose this life and loneliness that would be his decision to make however it wasn't what she wanted out of life.
Silence stretched out between them but she knew the choice he'd made. He wasn't ready to tell her he loved her and she wasn't prepared to sit by waiting for him – so where did that leave them? She closed her eyes unable to look at him, glancing up at him she saw the anguish in his features.
"I guess that's it then," she nodded giving her face one more last firm wipe. Despite the alcohol she'd consumed, she had never been more sober in her entire life. "Goodnight Oliver," she said her voice flat and empty as she picked up the heels she'd kicked off, too stunned to put them back on as she didn't trust herself to be steady enough to make it out of the door without breaking down.
"Let me take you home, you've been drinking.
"I'll call a cab."
Felicity slung the strap of her bag over her shoulder and strode away from his vicinity glad for the distance she was placing between them.
"Felicity," Oliver's voice rose through the foundry.
She kept walking sick of hearing his half maybes and possibilities.
"Felicity," he repeated this time more firmly but determined to ignore him she carried on strolling out of the room taking the stairs two at a time.
She made it all the way to the stairs in Verdant before a hand caught her elbow and spun her around.
"Oliver, don't," she hissed frustrated. "Just don't."
He pulled her towards his chest daring to bring her even closer to him something unreadable in his eyes just as his lips came crashing down on her. Taken aback by the unexpected kiss she let him kiss her closing her eyes as she felt his lips against hers exploring her mouth expertly, she let him kiss her. Feeling her heart swell in her chest as she found herself responding and melting against him despite her restraints. This was what love was supposed to feel like. Passionate and all consuming. She was certain her heart would shatter through her chest and every aspect of her skin he touched tingled.
When the kiss came to an end they drew apart ever so slightly Felicity's gaze fixated on his chest, unable to look into his eyes. He drew her tighter against him, releasing a heavy breath she felt his lips brush against her skin as he kissed her temple. Summoning her courage, she flicked her eyes to his and immediately knew nothing had changed between them. He was still the Oliver Queen who was hell bent on saving the city with no personal attachments – he was so certain he was protecting her he didn't know that he was hurting her instead. He gave nothing away but kept his eyes on hers hardly blinking the deep regret clear in his features.
"I don't want to lose you," he told her earnestly the desperation for her to understand his perspective evident in his eyes.
"But you just did," she whispered another tear leaking out of her eyes as she turned her heel and walked briskly out of the club.
The pain of not only walking away from Ray but also Oliver the same night threatened to wear her down but she fought to raise her chin and keep walking on steadily focusing on every step she took. Numbness spread through her body like wildfire and she felt paralyzed. The way he had looked at her, as if she had just knocked the breath out of him when she'd admitted that he'd lost her relayed in her mind.
Managing to hold it together until she reached her car, she pulled open the door and sat in the driver's seat. Bringing out her phone she sent a quick text message to her friend to pick her up, the tears that had been rushing to escape flooding out on full force as began sobbing feeling the full extent of her heartbreak.
Author's Note: This was supposed to be a happy ending at the very beginning but this is what was produced instead. I feel as if it's a more realistic representation of where these two characters are at right now.
Anyhow, please leave me reviews and comments (including prompts for the next update) - I'd love to know what you think this took me all evening to write out. Thank you for reading!
