Draco's parents had always told him that he was better than everyone else. Therefore, he was expected to show his superiority.
Draco knew that he had often failed to do that in his father's eyes. His father, for instance, was disappointed when Hermione Granger beat Draco in every exam in his first year, especially considering that Hermione was a Mudblood, someone not worthy to practice magic.
"I know that you are a smart boy, Draco," Lucius would often say, "but you need to apply yourself. You need to actually work for your grades."
"I don't see why I should have to work so hard," Draco had retorted on one occasion. "I'm a Malfoy. I have all the money in the world. I don't need to worry about working."
"We have as much money as we do because we have worked hard to maintain it and to increase it," Lucius had returned sharply. "All that money will quickly disappear if it is handled foolishly."
"Yes, Father," Draco replied. He rolled his eyes, though, when Lucius wasn't looking.
Draco really did like earning his father's approval, and he really did respect everything that his father represented. But Draco also appreciated how much easier things were with his mother. He didn't have to work to win her approval and her love. She just gave those things freely.
And despite his father's sometimes stern and harsh words, Lucius usually spoiled him just as much as his mother did. Draco got almost everything that he wanted.
Draco had thought that he was so special. He had thought that he was entitled to everything and that he deserved to have whatever he wanted.
But as Draco now looked at his reflection in the mirror, he saw a young man that looked anything but special or entitled.
Draco looked old, much older than his seventeen years. He looked tired and worn out. At the same time, though, he looked younger than his years. He looked like a frightened little boy who was still scared of his own shadow.
The slightest noise made Draco jump in fear. He swore that the Dark Lord was hiding in every shadow, even though the rational part of him knew that the Dark Lord wasn't always at the manor. But lately, it was often hard for him to be rational.
Draco had used to be so confident in himself. Many would say that he had been nothing more than an arrogant bully.
But now he was the one being constantly bulled. And he no longer had any arrogance left in him.
He used to feel like he was the greatest thing that had ever walked the planet, but now he felt like nothing.
Only now was Draco finally starting to appreciate his father's hard lessons and words. His father had been trying to prepare himself for a situation like this. His father had wanted him to have the strength to hold himself together and to not fall apart when things weren't going his way.
But since Draco had allowed himself to be so spoiled, he had never prepared himself for being in a situation in which his family's name and wealth meant nothing. Draco might as well be poor and common.
If only Draco had been able to murder Dumbledore. He could have redeemed his family in the Dark Lord's eyes.
But no, Draco wouldn't change that. Despite everything, a part of Draco was glad that he had not murdered the old man.
Draco still remembered his father looking at his Dark Mark one day and saying, "That Mark isn't you, Draco. That Mark is a sign of being tainted, and you're not tainted. I just wish you could stay that way, but I'm afraid that one day you will have to do something you really don't want to do."
"I don't know if I can do that, Father," Draco had replied. "I'm too weak for that."
"You're not weak, Draco," came Narcissa's voice suddenly.
Both Lucius and Draco had looked up. They then had watched as Narcissa had approached them.
"You showed great courage by not doing what everyone else wanted you to do," Narcissa had then explained to her son, touching his shoulder gently. "I wish I had your courage."
"As do I," Lucius had added. "You should be proud of yourself, Draco. You made your own decision that night on the tower instead of following someone else's decision."
Despite his parents' words, though, Draco had still felt worthless.
As Draco looked at his reflection in the mirror, he felt as if he couldn't do anything right, no matter how hard he tried. He was always failing the Dark Lord. He was always disappointing his Aunt Bellatrix and earning her scorn instead of her approval.
And because Draco was such a failure and a disappointment, his life along with the lives of his parents was constantly at risk.
And to think, he had used to believe that he was so special and so entitled.
He had been such a fool.
