A/N: Apologies for the delay in getting another update out to you all. Thank you for your continued support and I hope you will all like this chapter.
Enjoy x
I'm fine. Come back
That is her reply.
I have read it now several hundred times. I am in shock. Does it really actually say that?
Come back.
Is she serious?
My heart flutters. It holds so much possibility but again is it positive or negative or what.
I simply reply with an ok and then pull myself off of my bed, tidy up my hair and wipe my face. I then take a few deep breaths before grabbing my phone and my keys and then head outside.
Its still warm but there is a slight chill in the air. Can't help but think mother nature is doing that intentionally so that I am kept on my toes and not too comfortable. I opted to walk to clear my head before I get there, this time I will be ready and prepared, and I will be calm.
I approach her house and slow my pace even further.
Ok so my nerves are kicking in again now. I stop and take a deep breath. I need to compose myself properly. She has given me another chance and I do not want to blow it.
I just have to keep my focus, tell her nothing but the truth and hopefully she'll accept my feelings. Even if she doesn't wish to reciprocate I do not mind, as long as we can still be friends. I would really hate for this to be what forced us apart.
Deep breaths, I have to keep reminding myself. I don't want the panic to take over.
Its all about her, what she wants, how she feels, all her. No pressure, no fuss and if we can just stay friends I will be more than happy.
So here goes.
Wish me luck!
God I know I need it.
I was poised and ready to knock at the door when I hesitated and when I went to knock again it opened and she was there. It was like she had been waiting and watching for me. Who knows, perhaps she had. That is a nice thought and the fuel I need to manage the smile I am now wearing.
"Come in then" she tells me when I just stand there and quick to jump to attention I slip in the door and stand in the hall.
There is that awkward silence again.
Do I say something first, or do I wait?
I shuffle on the spot, look up at her and quickly look away again when I realise she is staring.
"Follow me" she eventually states and I follow her into the living a little delayed in my reaction.
We sit as we were before I ran out; opposite each other on the couch. That awkwardness still looms around us and I cough unintentionally. Must be my nerves. The sweaty palms are back all of a sudden too and the head crammed with every single thought I had cleared on my way here and great I am right back where I started, not confident and frightened of messing this all up.
We just get along so well, click, think a like sometimes, same wave length, too many parallels in our lives to count up and well I just really like her. Like really like her.
I mean how can you not?
She is perfect.
Her hair is luscious and full and it shines beautifully. Her eyes sparkle. Her voice is music to my ears. Her skin is beautiful, even if it is marked and scarred in places and her smile. Oh her smile. When I see it I just can't help but smile myself.
She is perfection.
I look up at her and accidentally sigh out loud as I admire her.
When she stares back at me I am suddenly snapped back to reality.
"So...Did you mean what you said?" she asks me out of nowhere.
"Yes...yes of course I did. I always mean what I say. I wouldn't make that up or anything. I swear" I ramble whilst nodding.
"A simple yes would have been sufficient" she returns simply.
I swallow and nod in acknowledgement.
"Yes" I then reply for her.
"I see" she answers as if she is as stuck for words as I am.
"Well then, thank you I suppose" she continues and still seems in a somewhat shocked stated.
She is lost for words.
Unfortunately so am I.
So we're sat again in that awkward and uncomfortable silence that has religiously followed each of these meetings we have had face to face since my declaration.
We stay like this for a while and exchange a few uncomfortable glances at one another but then I can stand it no more.
I have to say something and suddenly I am feeling braver than I think I should.
I look up to see her twirling that ring she wears again and take a deep breath.
This isn't a good idea and I know it. My brain is telling my heart this is stupid, you'll get hurt, you'll get hurt, you'll get hurt, but my mouth is running away with my thoughts before I find the ability to stop it.
"I...I am just wondering, how you?...um well do you feel,...um how is this for yo-...um how do you feel?" I eventually blurt out.
Her head snaps up and she stares at me.
Maybe some clarification would help I think and what a stupid thought that is but unfortunately, again I cannot stop myself.
"About me? well about me like that if you know what I mean" I babble.
She continues to stare so I trail off and the silence fills the room again.
"Yes I know what you mean and...well I suppose I..." she eventually starts talking and then pauses there.
She is mid sentence.
All I can do is wait.
This is the most intense moment of my life.
