Hey! Well… *nervous laugh* huh, it's been a while… Just a warning though, please review but I'm not particularly happy with this chapter, I just wanted to get something up and also I don't know how else to write it. Any suggestions are welcome. On with the long overdue chapter…
Jace's POV
I slammed the door. I love Maryse, I really do, and I owe her my life for taking me in when my father died, but he telling not to get involved with a certain reckless ginger really pushed my buttons this morning.
Two intertwined hands caught my eyes as I strode angrily into the kitchen. Just when I needed a break, Simon found the need to flaunt his close friendship with Clary. At least I had memories of last night. I noticed Simon quickly squeezing Clary's hand to get her attention. Her eyes darted up from staring at the floor, a smile half-formed on her face, questioning. He sharply dipped his head in my direction and her smile instantly ran away from me. What was wrong? What had I done? My head suddenly reeled with endless possibilities, diminishing the subtle perfection of our few moments - too harsh a kiss, interrupting her protestations, unwelcome wondering hands. I had been so careful.
My focus whipped from the inside of my mind as I saw Clary pulling Simon down quite a distance to her lips – lips I had kissed only the night before. I knew they were close… but not that close. All my muscles tensed with shock as I slowly recognised the wanting look in her eyes – the look she gave me – and the content eyes gazing back at her. In an instant, the moment was gone, but the damage had been done. I body started to shut down, my mental scaffolding breaking apart and my control cracking alarmingly. I felt the presence of Clary walk over to me. I felt the concern radiating off her. But I felt nothing under my feet.
The one girl I let see my real life. The one girl that wasn't just family to me. The one girl that I want to be family with, left me within 12 hours, chased away as fast as the girls I brought home from the Pandemonium Club last year.
"Jace," Clary whispered. "Jace, please just listen. It wasn't meant to happen like this."
But I was done seeing. I was done listening. I grabbed hold of my control with iron hands and snapped a stern mask over my festering emotions. As I became more aware of what was happening, I became aware of the small shaking of my hands. I needed to get out of there. If they didn't let me, I would hurt someone – someone I didn't necessarily want to hurt.
I span and ran away from the causes of my shattering aura. The winding corridors were once again my friends as I quickly heard sighs of exasperation. They would never find me if I didn't want to be found.
Armoury, library, spare room, bathroom – I ticked off the rooms as I passed them. Finally, I found the one room in the Institute that didn't have a purpose. The door flew open when I pushed on the handle and I fled into the safety of the neglected room.
Clary's POV
Simon was the sweetest – he seemed to never know what to say, but then he would turn around and say exactly the right thing. How well he knew me never failed to brighten my mood, and now we were one step closer, well it was pure euphoria. As he slowly whispered sweet nothings in my ear, I stared at the floor grinning.
Simon sharply squeezed my hand. I glanced up, starting to smile, but as he nodded towards a figure standing at the other end of the kitchen. I froze and the smile fell off my face as I recognised the emotionless face. Jace was staring at us both and I could see the realisation spreading over his eyes. I didn't know what to expect, so I planned for worst-case scenario. I walked over cautiously, tentatively. An incessant shaking took over Jace's hands as his eyes glazed over and he didn't respond to anything I said.
"Jace. Jace? Please. Come on let's talk. Jace, please just listen," I whispered, worry taking over.
All of a sudden, everything went still. Jace stopped moving, stopped breathing. His eyes became more aware of his surroundings and his lips formed a hard line on his face. He looked just about done with listening, or looking, or whatever. What had I done? I was a monster for doing this to him. I couldn't believe I had been so heartless. I didn't know he was that attached, my mind defended against me. But I shouldn't have been that harsh, I replied.
The inner turmoil was stopped short but Jace spinning around and fleeing through the corridors. I knew I would never be able to catch up, let alone find him without getting lost but I followed anyway. I owed him that at least. About three turns in, I felt warm strong hands wrap tenderly around my waist, pulling me back. I sensed my eyes tearing up instantly. Simon turned me around in his hold and drew me into his chest, circling my body in a hug. I started to collapse inside myself as I realised I had lost that one person that might have even understood what it was like to be me.
So I hope you enjoyed it! Please Read and Review and I will be writing over the holidays. However, I'm going away so I will have to find internet cafés to try and update in. Byeeeee have a great Christmas!
19 xxx
