Hello again! My muse wouldn't let me go until I pushed a chapter out! I'm actually rather surprised with how it turned out, seeing as I had actually intended to go a very very different way. In any case, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Don't own FFVII!

xXXXx

You might think that after getting materia from Daddy-dearest that I'd be shooting fireballs and burning the house down. Or even just going downtown and shooting random people with Cure just to practice and maybe getting some thanks in return.

Yeah well, tough.

No wonder they allowed a 4/5 year old kid to carry around materia. And no wonder Yuffie didn't die from an explosion when she was stealing materia at a younger age.

I grumbled as I tried to make my Cure do something more than look like a pretty glass ball. I was messing around with my new toy in the yard behind the house (mansion actually) after breakfast where several trees provided some shade to the sun's glare.

The air was warm and humid, rather like the weather in my previous home. A few birds chirped cheerfully in contrast to my mood. Several servants were doing the day's laundry while Nurse sat on a chair on the porch, fixing her gimlet eye on me.

Apparently, it was rare for children to have enough MP to so much as make a materia light up (Denzel was the exception, not the norm). And seeing as a Cure1 takes something like 5MP, that's pretty darn pathetic.

Rolling the palm sized (my palm size) orb in my hands, I tried to run through the usual "unlock your potential" processes that all the fanfictions always spoke about.

Idea 1: If MP were affected by emotions, then being emotional will trigger/unlock my "magical core" and fuel a spell.

So I started getting pissed. I thought of all the unfairness that I had experienced. Dying before I made it through college, leaving my friends, leaving my family, having to go through puberty twice, having to get together with Hojo

Am I Fate's pissing bowl or something?!

My fingers were beginning to cramp with how tightly I was gripping my Cure. I shook it angrily a little more before slumping, rubbing my temple to ease the building tension. Right, FFVII magic is not the same as chakra in Naruto. Next.

Idea 2: Meditation to attain "inner peace" and find my magic.

Peaceful thoughts, peaceful thoughts. 1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep… Nonono, not doing the "meditating but falling asleep" scene. Inner peace. Inner peace. Kung Fu Panda, inner inner peace.

Blinking lazily, I held the Cure lightly, willing some mojo into it.

I feel like there should be some sort of speech bubble going "no effect" or "nothing happened" floating above my head, I idly thought, rolling the ball again. Shaking my head to clear the fuzzies that had settled in, I sighed. Next.

Idea 3: Adrenaline Rush.

This body… needs… more… exercise…

I panted as I raced between the White Mango tree and the Blue Tomato plant, slapping my hand on the trunk of the former as I passed it. The distance was maybe 200m or so, but not even 1 round later, I was already gasping and wheezing for breath.

The on looking servants (who were washing and hanging up clothes) stared at me as if I'd gone mad. Even Nurse looked shocked at my impromptu exercise regime.

I managed to limp another half a round before collapsing on the grass bonelessly. Breathing heavily and grimacing at the feel of sticky clothes, I raised the ball (which I miraculously had not dropped) and begged it to work.

?

!

!

!

Thank you so much for that complete waste of effort.

I stared at The Stupid Ball in disgust before dragging my body upstairs to take a shower.

xXXXx

I slapped my face as I held the Iron Bangle (more like Iron Arm Cuff for me) Daddy had ceremoniously presented to me after returning from the university.

Thank you oh so much, brain. Some genius you are if you can't even remember that materia needs to be equipped.

Ignoring the squeal of anticipation from the hyper voice in my head, I stuffed The Stupid Ball into the bangle (there was only one slot) and "focused" into it.

A small burst of green light exited the orb before a wave of exhaustion caused my knees to buckle.

WHOOHOO!

I did a little jig (to the amusement of Dad) before trying to push out another spell.

Nothing happened.

I frowned and tried again. The Stupid Ball didn't even light up.

This is so unfair. I only have 5 MP?

xXXXx

After that was a period of trial and error in order to find out how long it took for me to recover my MP. According to my handy dandy guidebook on magic (courtesy of Daddy-dearest) the recovery rate varied depending on several factors. Mainly, physical stamina, mental willpower, and magical talent. Or, in gaming terms, HP, MAG and maybe base MP.

I had zero of the above.

Sadly, my parents did not pass on any magic related abilities, being civilians through and through (meaning 0 MP and 0 MAG). It seemed that what little MP I had was from either my matured soul or my genius brain. Or both. (Such a comfort. All my intelligence equaled 5 MP.)

I did however, have the natural robustness of a child, with the ability to bounce back easily after some rest and a snack or two. While this was dampened slightly by the obvious lack of exercise and luxurious (spoilt!) lifestyle, there was still enough to boost my recovery rate from what could have been a whole day, to half a day.

Yay…

There was no way I was going to let things lie the way they were. I was pathetic. Not even a level 1 character. Even a Mono Drive could curb stomp me with barely any effort.

Naturally, since I had plenty of gil at my (father's) disposal, I sweet-talked Daddy to arrange for a training instructor in materia. Then, thinking of Tifa and Zangan, I also asked for some martial arts lessons. (Hey, if I was going to be Lucrecia, I was going to be badass, and magic does not an epic fighter make. Like hell I was going to stay in the back row casting spells like a mage.)

Mum fluttered and wringed her hands at me in worry, fussing about how it wasn't lady-like and how I could get hurt and wouldn't Lucrecia-dear prefer to play Tea-Party with her Bo-Bear and Mimi-Bear? (I swear my face was going to stick in the disgusted expression I had at her spiel.)

Daddy, on the other hand (geez, that guy takes Doting Parent to a whole 'nother level), was happy to oblige and even had a list made of the different martial art styles for me to choose from. He chortled at Mum's worry, telling her that his darling Lucy was smart enough to take care of herself and that he was sure the instructors would not overburden my young body.

I'm beginning to see where Lucrecia's careless/weak personality comes from…

In the end, I selected a Wutai martial art (hey, got to give it to them, they are the rule on hand-to-hand combat here) that specialized in the use of legwork. The decision came from some distantly remember quote that "leg strength will always trump arm strength" or some variation of it. That, and I could remembered that Lucrecia was rather tall for a woman (Also 5.4 ft like old me), and so was betting on her having the legs for it.

Schedules were finalized, people were contacted, gil exchanged hands, and I was looking at daily alternate lessons of materia and martial arts for at least 1 month every morning with Ms. Miranda Gowidth and Sensei Ginkai Morizawa except weekends which had martial arts in the morning and materia in the afternoon. (Daddy wanted to make sure that I liked the instructor and was certain that I wanted to continue learning.) Weekday lessons with Mr. Morris had been shuffled to afternoon ones.

And since I had been impatient to start lessons, they were beginning tomorrow. (Ms. Gowidth was in Midgar, not very far from Kalm. Sensei Morizawa would start the day after as he was currently in Junon. Any other problems were solved with Daddy throwing gil at the other guy on the phone.)

Humming, I went to bed early.

xXXXx

It was 7 o'clock in the morning when Nurse came to wake me up with a heart attack. (Gawd, she was so annoying.) I grumbled and muttered, but the reminder of materia lessons cheered me enough to sing in the shower.

As I may or may not be doing some form of exercise during lesson time, I'd been given a short stretchy sports skirt and a light cotton shirt to wear instead of dresses. I debated telling Nurse that I was going to replace my wardrobe with those and dealing with her scandalous ranting, but ultimately decided to deal with it later because it was too early for that.

Breakfast was as yummy as usual, with Milk and pink potatoes and little sandwiches filled with ham and cheese and some unknown species of crunchy leaves.

Walking to the backyard, I stretched as I waited for my materia teacher and breathed in the cool air. Nurse took her seat on the porch grimly, a half embroidered handkerchief on her lap. My materia was in a pouch at my waist, except my Cure which was in my arm cuff. I rubbed it idly as I walked around to warm up.

"So, you're Lucrecia Crescent?" A voice sounded behind me. I jumped and spun around in shock to face a pair of long black pants. Mentally grumbling, I looked up.

"Ms. Gowidth?" I asked, examining the woman's face. It looked half-Asian, which meant she had some Wutai blood in her, but her hair was red and she was taller than the average Asian. Her narrowed eyes were dark brown, almost black and her nose was small and sharp, giving her a fierce look. She held a staff with at least 6 different materias equipped, and had an armlet on each hand with 4 slots. Several rings glinted on her fingers as she twirled the staff.

"Yes, kid," She spoke, her voice husky and rough, "I'm the materia expert that your father hauled all the way from Midgar to teach you."

I wasn't sure if she was happy or not with that, since her voice hadn't changed in tone at all and her eyes weren't exactly glaring at me.

I shrugged, deciding to get to the main point, "So what should I do now?"

"Hmph, what do you know about materia?" She demanded, still twirling the staff in her hands.

I eyed it warily as I answered, "Materia is crystallized Mako. There are 3 types of active materia. Magic, Command and Summon which are green, yellow and red respectively. Magic materia is used to cast spells while Command materia can let you do certain actions and Summon calls a monster to help you fight."

She didn't say anything so I continued with a deep breath, "There are also 2 types of passive materia. Support and Independent. These are blue and purple. Support is used in a linked slot together with other materia in order to give status boosts or increased attacks. Independent materia covers materia that gives stat boosts as well as different actions like Cover and Counter Attack. Equipping different materia can give you certain status boosts, but also has decreases other attributes."

Halfway through my spiel, her eyes had narrowed further. When I ended, she gave me a long look before walking back towards the porch where Nurse was squinting furiously at us.

I followed silently, wondering if I had said too much.

I had refrained from specifically naming materia except for Cover and Counter Attack, which had been in the book Dad had given me, so as to avoid "knowing" things I had not learnt. All the information I had told her had also been in the book, albeit somewhat paraphrased. There was nothing suspicious about what I had said, and even if there was, she didn't know me well enough to guess.

Chiding my paranoia, I fingered the materia in my pouch. Specifically, the Fire.

"Alright kid," her gruff voice carried across the yard, "you seem to know what you're getting into. Or at least you've done some homework instead of expecting me to tell you everything. Good."

She eyed me briefly before continuing, "I heard you pulled off a Cure spell with that thing. Not sure if your father was feeding me crap (she ignored Nurse's scandalized gasp) or if a Planet-damned 4 year old kid really did manage to work a spell."

Saying that, she paused and searched my face as if expecting a reaction, before adding, "But now I'm willing to believe the latter."

Seeing that she was actually waiting for a response this time, I pointed at my Iron Bangle, "Want me to cast? I can only manage one though, and then I won't have any MP until half a day later."

"Go ahead kid, there're other things you need to do than just casting spells." She replied, eagle-eyes watching me closely.

Shrugging and no longer worried that I'd not have anything to do after using up my MP, I focused on my Cure and cast. Green light burst from it and washed over me, accompanied once again with weakening knees.

I straightened to see Ms. Gowidth's reaction. It was rather unsettling.

Her face was smooth as stone, although her eyes glittered. They watched me like a hawk with prey in sight.

"Very well, looks like your Daddy wasn't lying about you after all," She murmured, before barking loudly, "Alright kid, we're gonna be training that MP capacity of yours so that you can manage more than just one measly spell a day ("half a day" I muttered) then after that we'll be studying effects of different materia types. I want you to memorize the ones I have right now by the next lesson."

Seeing me nod, she nodded back sharply, "Good. Now run from here to that tree and back again until I tell you to stop!" She pointed at the White Mango tree furthest from the porch. I eyed the distance, it was about 300m.

"Before the sun sets, kid." My new teacher tapped her leg impatiently.

As I started off, she hollered, "And call me Miranda!"

xXXXx

I collapsed on the bed immediately after dinner, groaning a little at the soreness despite the Cure3 my teacher had shot at me. Miranda had run me ragged, forcing me to run laps, do push-ups, sit-ups and squats all the while shouting names and effects of different materia. I felt like I was training under a military organization than going through tutoring.

Oh, I had acted tough and mature when I was just talking to her, but when my body started aching, it was all I could do to bite my lip and not whine.

When she fired question after question at me, I wanted to scream at her-I did scream the answers at her.

By the time we were winding down, I was too breathless to speak.

I regretted asking for lessons (I was dreading the martial art lessons the next day) and I wanted to quit. Mum had already suggested it after seeing the look on my face and Daddy had said he could cancel them immediately if I wanted to.

And I wanted to. Oh how I wanted to.

The truth was I had expected training to be easy. Oh, I had told myself not to expect that, telling myself that these things required hard work. That effort was required to attain results.

But talk is cheap.

The reality of the situation slapped me in the face. Hard. There would be no miraculous abilities, no sudden increase in skill, no "natural talent" to tide me through. Just lots and lots of hard work and hours of studying. The 5 base MP I had was the only "advantage" I was going to have in regards to magic.

I sniffled into my pillow, scrubbing furiously at my face. There was no way I was going to quit. I had been a half-baked person in my past life, living day by day without any goal in sight. In fact, if I had made it through college, I'd probably have nowhere to go.

I was lazy and unmotivated, causing my parents no end of grief, being a bad role model for my brother and generally a waste of time and money. It had probably been a good thing that I had died young.

I swallowed.

I wonder if they'd held the funeral yet, if any of my friends had attended it. (And wouldn't it be pathetic, if none of them did?)

I wonder if anyone had said a eulogy and if they had, what it would say. (Would there be anything to say?)

I wonder if anyone had cried for me. (Except Mummy and Papa, perhaps. Brother probably wouldn't.)

Lying on Lucrecia's bed, under the soft silken sheets, tears trickled down my cheeks as I wondered about the life I had left behind.

xXXXx

I woke up to the sun in my face. A quick look at the clock showed it was only 6 o'clock. Dawn. I curled in bed quietly as I remembered the previous night. It looked like I hadn't actually gotten over the shock of arriving here 2 days ago. The harsh training with Miranda had snapped me out of it.

Looking back on my behavior, it became obvious to me that I had been acting strangely. The overly happy behavior, the hyperness… The fact that I called Lucrecia's parents by different names. All pointed to the fact that I had been avoiding thoughts of my past.

I felt a sense of relief and loss as I admitted to myself that there was no going back now. I was stuck here, on Gaia, and in Lucrecia Crescent's body.

No. I was Lucrecia Crescent now.

I sat up, suddenly wanting to see my face. Walking towards the full length mirror, I examined it carefully. All the signs of growing up into the Lucrecia in Dirge of Cerberus were evident, from the straight brown hair to the high cheekbones.

But what about me? What about the girl I was before? Were there any signs of her?

I stared at the figure, searching.

Nothing.

I couldn't find a hint of the soul inside. There wasn't any trace of that 20 year old woman who had been hit by a car.

How can I be sure of who I am, I thought, if all I see is Lucrecia?

I slumped, turning away. A glint of metal caught my eye.

I looked at the Iron Bangle on the table, wandering over to pick it up, turning it over and over in my hands.

Lucrecia never used materia, I realized, she never wore any equipment.

I slipped the Bangle on and returned in front of the mirror.

I still looked like Lucrecia, but the Bangle on my left arm distorted the image. It changed the vision of the Doctor. The Scientist. The weak and kind and guilt-ridden woman.

I gave the mirror a look of determination. A look that Lucrecia had never had. An expression alien to the soft scientist. The woman I would not be.

Smiling now, I touched the Bangle, feeling the cold and solid metal under my fingers. I looked at the sunlight pouring in from the window.

It's a good day to be alive.

xXXXx

And here we have it, the continuation of the angst that was in the prologue.

In any case, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Signing off,

Memory25