Happy Valentine's Day! Here's a special little chapter for you.

Me: Yay! Valentine's day! I'm gonna give out special gifts to our cast. This should be fun. Please welcome Link, Impa, Sheik, Lana (I'm TRYING to go in order) Zelda, Ganondork -er, excuse me, dorf- Darunia, Ruto, Agitha, Midna, Zant, Fi, Ghirahim, Cia, Volga, and Wizzro. Forgetting anyone? I sure hope not. Let's start with Link.

Link: Yeah! I get to go first! So, what'd I get? Huh? Tell me!

Me: You are going to LOVE this. *hands present*

Link: *opens* An... an EMPTY BOTTLE?! HOW DID YOU KNOW!

Me: I put a cookie in it, too. We all know how much you love your bottles. And cookies. Oh, and I have one more present for you. It's even better than the bottle.

Link: Better than an empty bottle? No way!

Me: Oh yes way. Come stand over here. Now, I know it's not Christmas, but I found some mistletoe... well, stole it more likely... let's just say it's the original mistletoe. Very powerful. Someone get Zelda for me!

Link: So you're saying I get to kiss Zelda? IT'S ABOUT TIME! I don't need mistletoe for that!

Me: We need it for a future chapter. Might as well give the heads-up that it's here.

Link: What could we possibly need it for later?

Me: ...You're not gonna like the answer. I'm not gonna tell you.

Zelda: I was called? What is it that you need? I will happily oblige.

Me: As part of Link's Valentine's gift, you have- er, get- to kiss him. Um, Your Majesty. That's okay, right? Don't wanna mess with royalty or anything... or Impa, for that matter. She's the one that scares me.

Zelda: Kiss Link? OF COURSE I WILL! I've been waiting for this!

Me: ...I'm glad you're enthusiastic about it...

And while Link happily enjoys his Valentine's gift... Let's move on...

Me: I REALLY had no idea what to get you, Impa. But then someone submitted a question that I haven't quite gotten to. I doubt you're familiar with the kinds of music we have these days, so I got you an iPod and some headphones. Try out some of the different stations. You may be surprised. But whatever you do, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, look up music videos. They are scary.

Impa: Music and headphones? I don't believe I'll have time for that.

Me: That's the thing. It makes doing chores so much more fun. Just make sure you're alone before you decide to bust some moves, mkay? You never know who could be watching... Now, onto the next cast member! Sheik! Which will be confusing since Sheik is Zelda but let's pretend they're two different people for a day, alright?

Sheik: I understand you are giving away presents for Valentine's Day.

Me: Sure am! And your present is... A PILE OF BOOKS! Sorry, you seem like the kind of person who reads...

Sheik: I'm pretty sure that spot is reserved for Shad from the Twilight Era, but I thank you all the same.

Me: Yeah, it was a pretty crappy gift. But I couldn't think of anything else. Onto the next character, Zelda.

Who is still kissing Link...

Me: Wow, mistletoe is more powerful than I thought... they are REALLY going at it, aren't they? ...Enough about that. I'll just leave her gift -which is a new bow that I like to call the Mood Bow (think of a mood ring. Now put two and two together.)- in the corner. Remind me to give it to her at the end.

Great. Ganondorf is next.

Me: I got you a stuffed version of Nabooru. Oh, and a plate of bacon. It doesn't have anything to do with your other version... no, of course not... hehehe...

Ganondorf: FOR DIN'S SAKE! I AM NOT NABOORU'S BOYFRIEND!

Me: I didn't say that you were... you are both Gerudos, though... NOT THAT IT MEANS ANYTHING, OF COURSE...

Ganondorf: I am leaving!

Me: WAIT! Aww, Ganondork... man, at least take the bacon!

Annnnd, he's gone. Sorry, Ganondork.

Me: Ummm, Darunia is next? Oh, have I got the PERFECT thing for you. But it involves Link. Holy crap! He's still at it with Zelda! Jeez! Okay. Darunia, I'm saving yours until near the end when we need that mistletoe back.

Darunia: Of course, brother! Just make it good, though, huh?

Me: Wouldn't it be "Sister" instead of "Brother"? I am a girl, just so you know.

Darunia: It's tradition. I don't speak to many girls, anyway.

Me: Okayyyy. I think Ruto is next. I got you a pretty necklace with a seashell in it!

Ruto: I am royalty! I deserve a better-

Me: And a plushie of Link.

Ruto: ...YES! *hugs plushie*

Me: And now for Agitha. Gee, I really had a hard time for her... it's not like there's one thing she's obsessed with or anything... so I just got her a badge that says: Princess of the Insect Kingdom. I also got a giant butterfly plushie.

Agitha: Oh, thank you! I'm sure the insects will forever be grateful to you for bestowing upon me such an honorable gift!

Me: Yeah, okay. Just as long as you don't send a thank-you card with a spider in it or something. It will get squished. Or more likely I will be running away screaming in fear. Spiders are not my thing. Moving on.

Midna: It's my turn!

Me: Yup. Because I am obsessed with plushies, you get a Wolf Link plushie! *whispers* I also got you a picture of Zant, after you... messed him up, shall we say. It's him trying to ride Gilbert, his pig. This is just between you and me, though!

Midna: BEST GIFT EVER!

Me: Okay Zant. Your turn. I got you some shades! Because your eyes are so freaking creepy!

Zant: Shades?

Me: Yeah, like sunglasses. They make you look COOL. Here, put 'em on. Quick! I need to give everyone else their presents! Hurry up so I don't have to see your eyes anymore!

Zant: EVERYTHING IS DARK!

Me: Isn't that the way you like it? Whatever. Fi! You're up next.

Fi: Master, I do not require gifts, though your kindness is appreciated.

Me: Quiet, Fi. Everyone gets a present here. Yours is duct tape.

Fi: There is a 90% chance that I will enjoy this gift.

Me: You won't be saying that when you figure out what I intend on using it for. Yeah, let me just put it on ya! *puts duct tape on Fi* YAYYYYYYYYY!

Fi: Mmmmmamamsmmamagmabmsb...

Me: It works! Okay. GHIRAHIM! You're up!

Ghirahim: I want my cape back.

Me: That's exactly what I got you. It's a Mood Cape! It changes with your mood. Pretty awesome, huh?

Ghirahim: Does this mean it can be rainbow-colored?! WHOOPEE!

Me: Um, yeah, totally. Yay! It's Cia's turn! Well actually, this is where I bring in Darunia. Darunia, your present is having permission to give Link a Goron Hug!

Darunia: Yeah! I can do that! That little rascal tried running away from me last time!

Me: Plus I need the mistletoe for Cia. Darunia, go have fun!

Darunia: YEAH!

Link doesn't even notice, as he's... well, busy... Darunia sneaks up behind him...

GORON HUG!

Link: GAHHHHHHHH! *crunch*

Me: OH MY GODDESSES! LINK ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!

Link: Can't... breathe... crushing... bones...

Me: Any tighter and he'll explode... Um... Darunia! You're killing him! YOUR TIME'S UP!

Darunia: Always wanted to do that. Thanks, Brother!

Me: We may need a doctor. Nope, I think Zelda's got it covered. Wait... we need Link again... CIA! Your turn!

Cia: Oh, it involves Link?! Count me in!

Me: Yeah, under the mistletoe. Link! You too!

Link: Oh no...

Cia: Yay!

Me: *shoves Link under mistletoe with Cia*

Link: NO! MISTLETOE... TOO... STRONG...

Cia: It's about time. Come on, Hero...

Link: *cries* WHY ME!

Me: Oh, and another plushie of Link for you, too. I'll just set that over there. And it's Volga's turn!

Volga: What could be in store for me?

Me: A VOLVAGIA PLUSHIE! :D

Volga: Volvagia? He looks signifigantly familiar...

Me: Maybe because you spend too much time in the mirror... have you looked at your helmet lately?

Volga: ...What about it?

Me: Never mind... Um, Wizzro, your turn?

Wizzro: Ah ha ha! What did I get? What did I get?

Me: I got you a pair of glasses. *evil smile*

Wizzro: Glasses? What are they for?

Me: Hehehehehe...

Navi: Hey! You forgot about me!

Link: ... *unsheathes sword and goes after Navi*

Me: No... Link... NO! BAD LINK! BAD! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! *Tackles*

Darunia: DOG PILE!

Me: No! Wait, Darunia, NO-

*squish*

Well this was long. Sorry it's so late. I was busy playing Majora's Mask that I just got for the 3DS today! I didn't even know it was supposed to come out yesterday! I found out around 2 in the morning... Hehehehe... I was pretty crazy after that...