It wasn't supposed to be like this, Natsu thought as he stalked away from the council forces' newly erected base camp outside Avatar's headquarters. He was limping, walking stiffly on his injured leg as he tried to put as much space between Gajeel, Levy, Lucy, Happy, and himself. He knew they had healers, but right now, the pain was worth it and it was all that was keeping him grounded. The further he got from that place, the more his eyes burned in their sockets and the more his chest felt like it was seizing. He tripped over a root, but stumbled forward, catching himself on a thick tree trunk.
Anger swept through him again. Natsu's hand squeezed into a fist and he splintered the wood beneath it. How could he let this happen?
Lucy gazed worriedly in the direction her pink-haired partner had gone. She knew he was upset and angry, but it seemed more than that. Happy and Pantherlily were talking just outside the tent behind her; the blue exceed was mumbling through the pain medication that he'd been administered. His right paw was completely broken and they'd have to wait until they got back to Wendy for it to be mended. Lucy herself was exhausted, her injuries far less than they could have been, considering all that had occurred in the underground church.
Gray had slipped through the door and promptly ignored everyone in favor of Natsu. Behind him, a small woman came out, her star-burst eyes following her every move. After she'd managed to get a slap in on Gray's disturbingly emotionless face, the woman had cast her magic.
Those strange eyes Lucy could see in her head even now, and that tiny giggle, laughing at the pain inflicted. She had passed out from the pain shortly after Gray revealed his Avatar crest. When she'd awoken, Levy had been hovering over her with a few men she didn't recognize. Levy's fingers had been writing the script for lightning, but when Lucy made her consciousness aware, the small mage had leaned down and gently started to cry into her shirt.
Somehow, Lucy had nearly forgotten Natsu and Gray were even there, fighting, so confused by Levy's appearance. Until a body numbing burst of steam had whipped past the group.
"Bunny girl?" A rough voice broke her out of her reverie. She blinked before finding herself staring up at Gajeel, his height (and his hair) even more intimidating than they had been before. "Where's Juvia? The stupid blue cat said you were with her."
Lucy blithely handed him the map she had with the location of Rainfall Village marked on it; her limbs felt weak. Lily flew up and peaked over the man's shoulder at the map, Happy mumbling incoherently behind her about fish and Charle. Levy was not in the area.
"Wendy and Charle are with her. If you're heading out, can you take Happy?"
"Well, someone needs to make that water woman wake up and stop mopin'." He folded the map back up, and flicked his red gaze back at the spirit mage as if sizing her up, gauging her strength. Lucy was staring at the forest. "You goin' after the Salamander?"
Lucy just turned around to pet Happy on the head one last time before looking back at Gajeel. "Well, someone needs to make that idiot wake up and stop sulking."
Natsu was somewhat startled when a body came up next to him and sank to the ground. The displaced air from the motion contained that particular scent of grassy fields, comfort and something other-worldly, identifying the person. The smell was so familiar he didn't bother to look up from his hands. His shoulders relaxed momentarily, but when Lucy didn't say anything, he could feel them tense up again, inching away from her.
"Natsu…"
He turned his face away and hid in the crook of his arms, pulling them up on top of his knees.
"Go away."
He could hear her huff a little, the scent becoming stronger as she leaned towards him again. "No."
"I don't want you here."
"I know you don't mean that." And he didn't, really, but he heard the slight hitch in her breathing before she answered him. His words had hit their mark and it just made him feel worse. "Natsu—"
"Don't!" He jumped away from her touch. She had—she'd just reached out and—his eyes snapped to hers, to see confusion and hurt, but mostly worry. He was standing now, looking down at his partner whose guild-crested hand floated in mid-air where his right arm had been.
He took a step back, wincing as he put too much weight on the ankle Gray had crushed. Instantly, Lucy was up in his face, grabbing the sides of his jacket in a vice grip. She swayed a little, probably still dizzy herself.
"Easy there, killer." He flinched at her chosen nickname. It was just a joke, just a stupid joke, he reminded himself. His eyes squeezed shut, trying not to look at her, to block out all the things that were suddenly crushing down on him. "Natsu?"
Her tone was oozing concern as he felt her hand shift on his jacket to hold onto his sides instead of the thick black fabric. He shifted a little on the spot, colors bursting behind his eyelids. She called his name again, but it sounded like she was at the other end of a long hallway, despite her breath fanning onto his chin. Everything was getting fuzzy around the edges as the world tilted on its axis. A gray haze creeped through his mind and muddled all the sounds around him, Lucy's voice mixing in with the birds chirping and trees rustling until it was just one strange drawn out noise. He felt like he was falling off a short cliff a long way.
His head thumped as he opened his eyes. The world was sideways, blades of grass growing horizontally with the trees and framed by pale skin and flaxen hair. A hand gently stroked his scalp.
"Are you alright?"
His voice was sluggish and thick, so he said nothing.
"You just fainted out of nowhere. We really need to get you to a Wendy." Her hand continued and he cleared his throat, trying to move his hand up to catch her wrist. He made it on the second try, awkwardly missing her entirely the first. His fingers felt heavy on her skin and he didn't have the strength to move her hand away from his hair.
"Luce… I… I just… can't…" he could feel the burning fizzling underneath the gray haze. Her face was upside down to him, being sprawled on her lap as he was. Her whiskey eyes locked with his, holding soft questions but no pressure. He cleared his throat, strengthening his hold on her wrist after her fingers twitched. "I didn't tell you everything."
Her free hand came and touched the side of his face, smoothing down to his shoulder.
"That's okay—"
"No. If I… I want to stay. I promised I would so I have to tell you." His sight was sharpening around the edges, resolve pushing down on the haze and the burning. "Future Rogue told me he fought Gray."
Lucy opened her mouth to say she knew that, but he cut her off.
"He told me that Gray killed Frosch." Her mouth clicked shut and her head snapped back away from him. He understood the reaction; Gray killing an Exceed? One as innocent as Frosch? "I-I didn't want to believe it, either."
The hand on his shoulder dug into the fabric and the one in his hair curled into a fist.
"Gray… almost…. He almost ki- killed Happy." Once the sentence left his mouth, he knew there was no way to contain anything that followed after. He just prayed that once everything was out in the open, Lucy wouldn't leave. Though she'd have every right to just take Happy and run as far away as possible. "And you…"
He closed his eyes tightly and let every terrifying thought he'd been keeping at bay out.
"He almost took Happy away… I thought I could protect him, that I was strong enough, that Gray wasn't what Rogue thought he'd be. But Gray is… not Gray anymore. He's something else. That mark has changed him and I don't know where he went. I can't keep my promise to bring him back to the guild or to bring him back to Juvia." He took a shuddering breath. "He just watched as you… If Levy and Gajeel hadn't shown up…"
"I can't… god, Igneel would be so mad at me. I promised I'd be stronger, that I'd keep on living, but what have I been doing if I can't beat Gray? How can I beat Acnologia and Zeref when Gray is my enemy? I don't want to fight him, I don't want to hurt him anymore."
Natsu had his eyes shut and Lucy could see he was tearing up. She was furiously holding her own tears at bay. She had a faint idea of what had happened to her, though no one had outright said it to her face. One of Levy's men had said it. Coding.
Her knowledge of medical terms was lacking, considering how often she and her friends were on the receiving end of bodily injury, but that was one she was well aware of. After all, she'd heard it right as her mother's heart stopped beating.
"What happened after I passed out?"
"No… Luce, I don't… please…"
She felt his fingers dig into the pulse point on her hand. She murmured his name and he curled onto his side, face pressed into her leg.
"Levy and Gajeel came in with their squads… they distracted those assholes and I… I broke the seal." The muscles in his right arm flexed involuntarily. "Levy went straight to you and started doing… something. Gajeel jumped at Gray. I went after that chick that got you."
"I see." Her fingers carded into his hair again. She turned her face to the sky, looking for the first stars trying to break through the dusk above the foliage. Lucy was planning on leaving it at that, still feeling fuzzy around the edges, but Natsu kept going.
"I couldn't hear it. I… I was so mad. I couldn't hear it and it was happening again." His shoulders were shaking against her knees and she turned back down to face him. "It was gone just like in Crocus."
He slowly rose back up to sit with his back mostly turned. Her wrist was still encircled by his hand. He turned his head completely away from her and his voice was low and broken.
"Your heart… I couldn't hear it."
Her tears finally fell at this, her hand twisting to grasp his wrist in turn. "I know."
"I can't do this, Lucy. I can't… can't lose you or Happy. After he… after Igneel…" When his head turned back and his eyes locked on hers, she leaned forward and tugged his head down. Once their foreheads were pressed together, she blinked back more tears to see him clearly.
"We're not going anywhere, Natsu, but even… even if we did…" She pressed a hand to his sternum. "We're Fairy Tail so we'll always be right here."
He swallowed and nodded, jostling her head. His hand raised and locked over hers, the bandages brushing her skin roughly. Natsu released a shaky breath and sunk his head down into the crook of her neck, reveling in the comforting scent she had and the thrum of the blood rushing through her arteries against his cheek.
"I just need you to stay," he murmured against her skin. Her head tilted lightly onto his and her free hand brought his up over her own heart. The action was comforting, but he needed Lucy's word. "Stay?"
"I will."
AN: Ah so that didn't come out quite as I expected…. Originally, it was going to be a one for one semi-replacement since Future Gray killed Fro, but I couldn't kill Happy. And THEN tumblr had to go and drop some medical terms on me. Code Blue meaning cardiac arrest and a symptom of that being stomach pains. So there was some Lucy drama after all… And I obviously had to post this before the double chapter…
I think that Natsu has been really strong for Igneel so far, living up to his final words, but losing either of his family within a family would break him… I'm also being intentionally vague on the bandages… it seemed like too much to bring in with all this other drama. So maybe another installment at some point?
Please leave a review if you're so inclined. I'll probably post a new chapter of Everyday Fairy Tail this weekend because I will definitely need the study break from dynamics… If you need some fluff after this, I totally understand.
Love, zabeth
