Fíli
Fíli awoke with the sun in his eyes, as so often happened. What was more surprising was his wife's head on his shoulder and her arm around his waist. A single ray of sunlight brightened her golden brown hair. He could smell its sweet scent, feel her warmth against him, and a fuzzy sensation arose in him. He quickly slipped out of bed so as not to wake her up and proceeded to check on his wound to change his mind. Sigrid had done a great job. Already, the cuts scabbed properly. He would have nasty scars but it could have been worse.
She stirred in the bed, placing her head on his pillow in her sleep. He reflected that not so long ago, he could not say whether or not he found her pretty, and now she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He had almost told her but Kíli had prevented him. The moment had passed. How could he ever tell her now without being embarrassed?
He had been surprised that she had insisted to tend him herself. He had thought she would not care, but she had gone to great length to ensure him the best of recoveries. She had refused to let anybody but his close family inside. At first, he had found it annoying to spend all his days confined. And why was she not leaving? He was just wounded, not dying. Then he had met her eyes and seen in it the ghosts of so many dead, close to her or not. He knew she had lost her mother. She had probably witnessed more deaths than he, even in her shorter life. He had not had the heart to tell her off.
And oddly enough, it had not been unpleasant. Dís had said they needed to spend more time together and the wound was the perfect excuse for that. At first, he had not known what to say to her, so he had observed her. She was quiet but not shy as he had thought, and her hands were the gentlest that had ever touched him. Each time her fingers brushed him, it left him with a longing for more. He felt a bit guilty about that, because she was only checking the wound and it was not supposed to arouse him. But he could not deny the effect she had on him.
They talked more too. There was nothing else to do, so they chatted. About little things. Her family. Books she read. She had a flush on her cheeks and her voice lowered a bit when she talked about things she liked. Her smile rearranged all her features and made her eyes brighter. She who had a rather dull and grim expression suddenly became radiant and warm. Dís had said Sigrid was no great beauty but he had to disagree with her on this. When his wife smiled, Fíli could only think about kissing her. Ah, why did Kíli have to interrupt them? He always had the worst timing ever!
"Good morning" he heard from the bed.
Sigrid was awake and stretching under the blankets.
"Good morning" he answered with a soft smile, refraining from calling her "love".
She smiled back, still a little drowsy with sleep.
"How did you sleep?" he asked.
She yawned. "Well enough, I guess. Though not as much as I would have liked. I was afraid of hurting you, with your wound still mending."
She had no knowledge how close to him she had finished the night, but it made him happy nonetheless. It showed she was comfortable enough with him. He knew she used to share her bed with her younger sister Tilda, back when she was living in Laketown. Surely she had held her sister the same way? It boded well for their future together. Although he was not sure how fast he wanted for things to happen.
They broke their fast together and, as she had requested, Fíli took Sigrid out on a tour of Erebor. He showed her the mines, even taking her on one of the suspended chairs the dwarves used.
"Are you sure it's safe?" she asked, testing the iron chains that secured it.
"I'll be there with you, don't worry" he answered with a wink.
She sat on his lap and he wrapped his arms around her as he lowered the chair down the mine. She gripped him, closing her eyes with a little gasp.
"Open your eyes, Sigrid!"
To his great pleasure, she smiled as she saw the wonders of Erebor around her, the streaks of gold reflected by the many oil lamps the dwarves wore to see where they were delving.
"Oh Fíli! It's so beautiful!" she exclaimed, her smiling face so close to his he could have kissed her.
There were too many witnesses, though. He wanted a quieter scenery for their first kiss to happen.
Next, he showed her where they delved the gems, diamonds and sapphires like the ones he had given her. Her eyes shone with delight as he explained how they shaped them. But it was nothing next to the interest she showed in the forge. The machinery was so huge, the rooms so immense. At one point, he felt her fingers clutch his hand.
"Don't worry, my dear" he said. "I will not lose you."
"I've never seen anything like this before. It's- It's breathtaking. I had no idea-"
Her emotion was so perceptible, she had to sit down for a while.
"Will you show me how to make a sword?" she asked when she was recovered.
"I could, but I'm not very good at it. You should ask Thorin. He's the best smith I know!"
Sigrid shrugged.
"What?" Fíli asked.
"I don't think your uncle likes me" she replied, making a face. "Besides, he's the King. He would not lower himself to show me."
Fíli chuckled at her grimace. "I think you're wrong. And if he doesn't like you, he's a fool."
It made Sigrid laugh too. "I'm afraid you have too high an opinion of me."
"Sigrid" he said very seriously, staring into her eyes. "You are the best wife anybody could wish for."
"You're flattering me, my lord" she said, her laughter echoing in the vast halls. "But technically I'm still not your wife."
"I don't care what they're saying" he replied, blushing under his beard.
There was nothing he wanted more than to see this situation change.
"But seeing all this, all Erebor, it made me realize-" she said, changing the subject.
He looked at her quizzically.
"I don't know. I feel so very small, so insignificant. This is where you belong. Not I."
"Is this truly what you believe?"
He was disappointed. He thought she had enjoyed the tour. She certainly seemed to understand everything he had told her, no matter how technical.
She sighed. "It's- overwhelming."
"You'll get used to it. As you got used to me."
"Yes" she finally agreed. "You're right. It cannot be that hard."
With those words, she poked him playfully.
"But now I guess it's time to go back home and have something to eat."
"Oh yes, great idea! I'm famished! I'm not used to skipping lunch!" he complained, rolling his eyes as he faked a terrible hunger.
He snaked an arm around hers as they walked back to their halls. Other dwarves eyed them curiously, but he could not care less.
"The only thing is that I've been under the Mountain for so long, I need some fresh hair" Sigrid said when they arrived.
Of course, she would. She had not been out since he had come back wounded.
"Do you want to eat outside?" he suggested. "Maybe a sort of picnic."
She nodded eagerly. "You really don't mind?"
"Of course not. Whatever makes you happy."
"You're the best of husbands" she said with a happy smile.
How had it come to this? How did they become so relaxed? So close? He had no idea but he certainly did not mind.
"Please Sigrid, will you sing for me?" Fíli asked.
It was late in the evening and they were sitting on a blanket in the grass, in between the Mountain and Dale. The first stars were showing in the sky, tiny bright dots in the darkness. But with the full moon, it was hard to notice them. Fíli had taken out his pipe, as was his habit after dinner, and Sigrid had already put away the remnants of their meal, expecting them to go back home as soon as they were finished. But Fíli had something else in mind.
He had first heard her sing when he was lying in bed, still recovering. Thinking he was sleeping, she had started humming very softly. He had opened his eyes when she was done and had asked her for more. This time, she had put some lyrics to her tune and it had been magical. He had never suspected she had such a talent. Her voice was not deep but a bit raw with a raspy quality to it. The overall effect was surprisingly soothing, a little like her hands. It fascinated him, also because her face relaxed completely as she sang. Just like her smile, it made her beautiful.
"Are you sure?" Sigrid said.
As always, his request for a song embarrassed her for some reason he could not understand.
Fíli nodded as he lit up his pipe and started smoking, sending rings of smoke out in the sky. She started humming at first, not looking at anything in particular, eyes half-closed, as if it helped her concentrate. The moonlight was shining on her, and a light breeze gave life to the tiny wisps of hair that always framed her face. Then she began singing full voice, and the emotion she always put in it almost brought tears to his eyes. He had to close them to prevent the tears from falling. Then it was over and silence fell all around them. She was staring in the distance, as if in a daze.
He opened his eyes very slowly and put aside his pipe.
"I have never heard anything so beautiful as your voice" he said in a whisper, afraid to break the silence.
"We should probably go back now" she replied, but Fíli was lying back down on the blanket, his head on her lap.
"Let's stay a few moments more" he requested and she did not protest.
He knew how she loved being in the open, especially after all those days when she had not dared leave his side.
She started humming again, of her own volition, her fingers absently toying with his hair. Fíli shuddered, suddenly filled with a longing for her he knew only one thing could sate. Earlier that day, they had been so close and he had felt the urge of kissing her. It was stronger than ever now. He raised himself on one elbow to look at her, and she smiled at him, still humming. He did not smile back. His breath came in and out faster than he realized. He slipped a finger in between two buttons of her blouse and started pulling her gently to him. She stopped her humming, smile fading, eyes expectant.
His nose brushed hers before he touched her lips for the first time, almost afraid she would pull away. But she did not. Instead, she pressed her mouth further into his and he had to open his mouth slightly. They stayed like that for a moment, lips searching for each other, unaware of the rather uncomfortable position.
He released her and sat up, cupping her face in his hands. She was breathing fast too, cheeks a bit flushed and eyes too bright. His thumb stroked her cheek as he kissed her again, this time more assuredly. He knew it now, in his heart. This hunger, this longing for her was gone. There was no more unrest, just peace and the certainty that he belonged to her as she belonged to him. The little sigh she gave as their lips parted was like a promise of things yet to come, and her smile before she buried her face in his hair told him everything he needed to know. Love. It was love. It had taken its time but now he knew it would never leave him.
She leaned further into him, fingers twining in his hair, breathing him in. His own hands had moved to the nape of her neck and were caressing her soft skin. Flashes of their wedding night came back to him, how white her skin had looked as he helped her undress. His mouth was hungry now, and he pecked small kisses all the way from her neck back to her lips. This time, he was almost forceful, grazing her teeth, and she opened her mouth to let him claim her. He could feel the warmth of her whole body pressed against his and he longed to push her back down on the blanket. But no, this would hardly do. He had to restrain himself. Everything needed to be perfect.
He pulled away from her, gasping for air, desperately trying to temporize. But she came at him, nuzzling him, rubbing her cheek against his beard before placing soft kisses all over his face.
"Sigrid" he protested. "Stop."
She looked at him, puzzled. "Am I doing something wrong?"
He shook his head vehemently. "You're doing everything perfectly. In fact, it's so perfect that I need time to collect myself. I guess I want you too much."
She gasped at the implications but smiled and nestled herself in the nook of his arms. She kissed his neck all the way up to his ear.
"You could have me here and I would not protest" she murmured.
Had he heard alright? She wanted him too? So much so that she would not mind doing it here in the open? A wave of heat suddenly went through his body, making him shiver with expectation.
"But if you prefer, we can wait until we come back home. Just not too long" she continued, nibbling at his ear.
He swallowed hard. He was not sure how long he could wait. His whole body already throbbed with desire for her. He jumped on his feet and helped her stand.
"Then let's go home" he said.
She took his arm as they walked back to the Mountain.
