Sigrid
As she made her way to Dale after what seemed like an eternity, Sigrid let the fresh air cool her already too warm cheeks. She could not help thinking about the previous night. She would have happily stayed in bed with Fíli all day, but since he had to leave, she had thought a visit to her family would do her good. Change her mind. She felt a bit guilty at how much she wanted to neglect her tasks and spend her time in her husband's arms. Never before had she known such happiness. Hers had been a life of toil almost since her birth, and it had not improved after her mother's death. Far from that. She had always done what needed to be done. Because she loved her father and he counted on her. But she had never felt happy. She had thought she was, at times, when work was well-done and it gave her satisfaction. But now she could tell the difference. Happiness was when Fíli looked at her with those clear blue eyes of his. When he kissed her and she kissed him back because she wanted to.
The city was in far better condition that it had been. The rebuilding was going well, with the gold from her bride-price. It lifted her heart to see the towers high in the sky, to walk in streets free of all rubble. She had barely noticed before, so busy she had been with trying to accept her fate. A gust of wind suddenly blew her braid back in her face. She clung to her fur-rimmed cloak, unaware that people stopped to stare at her as she walked. She wore her hair differently today, in a single large braid that hung on her shoulder, woven with fire opals that Fíli had given her. Her clothes were of better facture, although she still favored the color blue. Even the way she walked was different. Marriage had given her poise. Or was it her new station? Her escort of two dwarf guards in full chainmail, only a few feet behind her, was hard not to notice, and screamed royalty wherever she went.
She heard whispers of "My lady" and "Bless thee" as people stopped what they were doing to bow in front of her. A little girl stepped in and offered her some flowers. Smiles were on every faces, old and young alike. Bard was a popular king, she knew, but why so much reverence for her? Was it gladness for their new wealth, which they knew they owed to her marriage? Or the simple respect paid to those with royal blood? She acknowledged them all with a nod of her head, still a little awkward with so much attention.
Bard's house was in the middle of a large street, not far from the market. She left her two guards at the entrance and pushed the door. As soon as she was in, she was swept in her sister's embrace, soon joined by their brother and father, all laughing with delight.
"Sig!" exclaimed Tilda. "I missed you so much!"
"I know, Tee" Sigrid apologized, kissing the little girl's cheek. "I couldn't come earlier, I'm sorry."
"We heard about your husband's wound" Bard said. "I hope it's nothing too serious."
"It gave me quite a fright, but he's quite recovered now" she replied, smiling.
Bard raised an eyebrow.
"You certainly look happy and well" he said, pinching her rosy cheeks.
He could not remember the last time his elder daughter had looked so cheerful.
"Look at you" he continued, taking a step back, staring at her. "All lady-like. The dwarves are treating you better, I suppose."
Sigrid nodded, cheeks a little rosier than before, a small smile forming on her lips as she remembered Fíli's warm embrace.
"Yes, Da. I'm feeling much better there than I used to. My husband and I are getting along well now."
That was as much as she allowed herself to reveal in front of her siblings.
"Then all is well, my princess" Bard said. "I hope you know I never intended for you to be unhappy. But for people like us, duty comes first."
He sighed, patting her on the back.
But who was that figure standing in the shadows? Sigrid looked up at her father, eyes widening in puzzlement.
"I'm glad you came, my princess" Bard said. "I would have sent a messenger, but I'd rather tell you myself. Your brother is getting married."
The figure stepped out of the shadows, a girl of about her age, slender and tall, with strawberry blond hair and freckles all over a rather pleasant face, curtsying with grace.
"This is Hilda. Bain and her have pledged themselves" Bard explained. "The wedding is due in a month now."
So soon? Sigrid had not known her brother was courting a girl. And a girl from Dale, at that. Hilda's dress was simple, her behavior unaffected. Sigrid was happy for her brother, of course, but she could see this marriage had nothing to do with politics or alliances.
"Welcome to the family" she said, taking Hilda's hands and pressing her cheek on the other girl's.
"Thank you, lady Sigrid" the other girl whispered.
"Oh, don't call me that!" Sigrid reproved. "Soon, we're going to be sisters and you'll be lady of Dale, not I."
"But don't you know?" Hilda asked, eyes widening in surprise. "People call you lady of Erebor now."
Sigrid chuckled. She was hardly lady in the Mountain, even though her husband was indeed the prince. Her handsome golden prince. She smiled as she thought of him, the memory of his kisses imprinted deep in her mind.
"Sig, are you alright?" Bain asked.
She made no answer, her mind still lingering on her husband.
"Sig?"
"What? - Oh, yes - I'm perfectly alright" she stammered as she went back to reality.
"For a minute, you looked very far away from here" her brother said. "What is going on with you?"
"I was just - daydreaming, I guess" she mumbled, embarrassed.
Sigrid never daydreamed. She had never been allowed that luxury before.
"Anyway, we'd like to invite you and your husband to the wedding feast" Bain continued.
"Of course" Sigrid said. "We'd be delighted!"
"And all of king Thorin's family" Bard added. "If you could pass the message, we'd be very grateful."
She agreed to invite everyone. Indeed, it would be a joyful event that she was happy to look forward to.
Days passed, then weeks. Domesticity suited Sigrid well. It was her territory. Mending clothes, cleaning, cooking, taking care of her husband. She took great pride in all of that, although it was nothing out of the ordinary. Fíli spent more time at home than before, helping her when she allowed, or taking the right to do so even if she disagreed. She had come to like that about him, and she feigned to be angry when he settled the table or did the dishes. He played along with her, knowing full well how those games inevitably ended, clothes discarded on the floor, hungry for each other.
She was also given more freedom to come and go, especially to go to the library. She enjoyed those moments with Balin as her teacher. The old dwarf knew countless stories and was always happy to share. The library was peaceful and quiet, but she could not read a single scroll, since everything was written in Khuzdul. She had picked up a few words, most particularly terms of endearments that Fíli would sometimes use, such as ghivashel or âzyungel. But dwarves rarely spoke Khuzdul, even amongst themselves, and only in the most formal occasions. And teaching it to strangers was unheard of. She resigned herself to not be able to read the scrolls. It was already nice to be able to roam the halls free and pass by the forges on her way to the library. If only to spy on Fíli, shirtless with the heat, sweating body covered in soot that she would have to clean in the evening.
One day, after just such a cleaning session, she was doing her hair in their bedroom. They were about to have dinner with Dís, and Fíli always insisted for Sigrid to wear one of his gifts. He liked to spoil his wife, even though she had no taste for grandeur. She preferred flowers to jewels, but she had to admit that those he gave her were always special. As were the fabrics he purchased sometimes from the elves. She had made a dress for Bain's wedding out of a piece of the finest gossamer she had ever seen. It must have cost him quite a fortune, but it pleased him so much that she looked her best that she had not protested. She still could not get used to so much wealth. It made her feel small and insignificant.
She was sitting in front of her mirror, braiding her hair with her fire opals, when Fíli came to stand behind her.
"Let me help you with that" he said, taking the brush from her.
However large his hands were, there was no denying how skilled they were at these sorts of tasks.
"There, it's done!"
Fíli planted the lightest of kisses just below her ear and Sigrid shivered. She looked at her reflection as his lips nipped at her skin, like tiny butterflies. Where was the girl from Laketown? So coarse and unrefined, seldom a smile graced her face. But now, she could only see this beautiful and radiant woman with lush golden brown hair, gems shimmering all over her, wrapped in her lover's embrace. She turned her head slightly and her lips met Fíli's with renewed eagerness.
"Sweet Mahal" he said, pulling away from her, staring into her eyes. "Do not kiss me like that, woman, or I swear we'll be late for my mother's dinner!"
His hands were already searching for her breasts, but when he touched them over the fabric of her dress, she startled with discomfort. She had not been feeling so well all day long. Cramps had nagged her all afternoon and she had noticed as she changed that she had been bleeding. Was it already this time of the month? It would explain her sore breasts, but it seemed a little early. She knew he would not mind. They had already done it and he did not care, but she was afraid something might be wrong with her.
"You're right" she told him with a wink, her finger lightly brushing his nose. "We shouldn't be late."
She got up in a rustle of taffetas, much to his dismay.
"As you say, my lady" Fíli said, frowning at her.
She took his arm and they made their way to Dís's halls. As always, dinner was copious. Kíli was his usual happy self, and Dís scolded him for his language. It normally amused Sigrid but she was even more unwell than before. Her head ached and she felt nauseous throughout the meal, having to force herself to eat, even though her stomach churned at the mere sight of food.
"Are you feeling alright, my child?" Dís asked, concerned. "Have you got a fever?"
"I'm a little queasy, that is all" Sigrid answered, embarrassed. "Maybe I should go back home and rest."
Suddenly, her stomach heaved and she got up, rushing to the kitchen sink to throw up. Dís followed, closing the door behind her.
"Any better now?" she asked, patting Sigrid on the back.
The young woman turned, wiping her mouth on a towel.
"I'm so sorry" she said. "I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I got cold somewhere."
"How long have you been feeling like that?" Dís asked, making her sit down.
"Just today" Sigrid replied.
"And food made you nauseous" Dís continued, smiling.
Sigrid frowned. Why was the dwarf-lady smiling?
"Well, you'd better get used to it, my sweet!"
The young woman still looked at Dís with wide eyes, perplexed.
"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"
Sigrid shrugged. "I'm ill, that is all. All I need is rest."
"You're not ill, my dear. You're with child" Dís declared with a knowing air.
The young woman gaped. "What?"
No, it could not be. She was bleeding earlier. How?
"When did you last bleed?" Dís asked.
"Today."
"Yes, but when was it the last time? Is it too early?"
Sigrid gave it a thought. Dís was right, it was indeed too early.
"I last bled about three weeks before."
"And today you had cramps" the dwarf-lady stated.
Sigrid nodded.
"Breasts hurting and a headache" Dís continued.
Again she nodded.
"There can be no doubt. You're pregnant. Congratulations, child" Dís said, hugging her daughter-in-law.
Sigrid's face slowly beamed into the brightest smile.
"I'm pregnant? I'm going to have Fíli's child?" she murmured in delight. "Oh, mother, I'm so happy!"
She returned Dís's hug fiercely, unaware her tongue had slipped and she had called the dwarf-lady mother.
Several knocks on the door interrupted them.
"Are you alright in there?" they heard Fíli ask.
Sigrid tried to compose herself.
"Not a word" she whispered to Dís. "I want to tell him my own way."
"Of course, my child. My lips are sealed" Dís replied, opening the door. "It's quite alright, but I think your wife needs to go back home now."
"Of course, mother" Fíli said, taking Sigrid's arm. "Let's go."
He looked so concerned for her as they walked back to their halls. But she would wait. She would not tell him right away. Dís seemed to be sure, but what if she was wrong? No, Sigrid needed to be absolutely certain. There were midwives in Dale she could consult, but she would have to make sure her escort did not know what she was about. And then, when there was no doubt, she would tell him.
As they went to bed that evening, he dared not even touch her, for fear of hurting her. She wondered how long her discomfort would last as she curled on her side of the bed. In those last few weeks, she had grown accustomed to his arms holding her as she slept. She waited until he was fast asleep to turn towards him and place her head on his shoulder. A child. Was it not the most wonderful thing in the world?