Confusion couldn't even start to describe how I was feeling at this point. All was silent until I let out an uncomfortable cough, trying to muster up something to say in my mind. "Well, that's unexpected" This wasn't time for jokes but i couldn't help but laugh at the situation. "Look, I thought you would have known! Don't you remember the night we arrived?" She was right, I should have known, but I'd tried so hard to forget that night, the night that had changed my life for the worst. But the more I tried to remember, I could see Carrie's face form in a memory. "I'd never really consider it, i thought we were all supposed to go separate ways?" Her face started to relax "yeah we were, but Sean and Lucy thought it would be a good idea to hide in plain sight. Like, if the mogadorians found one of us, they wouldn't expect another one to be in the exact same country, nevermind the same town! I guess it was a good idea in theory but…" Her eyes dwindled down towards her feet. "But what?" Carrie bit her lip "But Lucy, my Cepan, said that she thinks it was a bad idea because our numbers are so close together, and she said the Mogs will do anything in their power to find us… Even if that means hurting the ones we're close to, which means you James. They can't hurt you and not figure out you're part of the Garde" I had to take in what she just said, I sat on the edge of my bed, Carrie joined next to me and put her hand on mine. "So, Lucy told you this herself? And why would Sean keep this from me?" Carrie quickly shot her eyes away, and her hands moved into her own lap again. "Carrie? What aren't you telling me" I asked, searching for her gaze to meet mine, I arched an eyebrow, impatiently waiting for an answer. "Well, that's the thing, I don't think I'm supposed to know. I overheard Sean and Lucy talking about it the other night. Lucy said we should move somewhere remote, I think I heard her crying, Sean sounded sad too, he said he didn't want to leave her, that it was hard enough not being able to be together"

My mind filled with questions, but I couldn't figure out which one I wanted to know first. My forehead then started to ache, an uncomfortable, dull pain in my skull. "Does Lucy go out for days at a time?" Carrie looked at me with a scrunched up expression "What? What does that have to do wi-" "Just answer the question!" I shouted at her, I'd never shouted at anyone before. Carrie coward "Yeah she does, she said she is researching something". Great, My cepan is sneaking around like a freaking teenager, isn't that what we're supposed to be doing? "Why the sudden change? What made Lucy want to move? Even if someone did find you, they would have to find the rest before they could kill you" And thats when I noticed tears in Carrie's eyes "They think the Mogadorians are here James. Didn't Sean ever tell you? You're number Two! After they catch me you're next" I buried my eyebrows into the centre of my forehead. "What do you mean after you? That would make you the first? Lucy is lying Carrie, you can't be Number One!" I knew she was right, but I was hoping for some truth in my denial. "No James, the Mogs are looking for me, they found us, thats why we're leaving for Malaysia in the morning, I can't stay it's too risky. Im sorry"

And thats when I really knew. I'd thought about it before, but then it was just a stupid thought, some childish nonsense. But now it was clear. I was in love with Carrie. And there was no way I was letting her go.