Close Encounters 28
"I made eggs, if you want," he told her, carrying James through the living room. They greeted Kate at the threshold of the hall. "Give Mommy a kiss."
James leaned out and Kate did the kissing, cupping the baby's cheeks and smacking his lips with her own. James blinked his dark lashes and then crashed back into Castle's chest, hiding his face with that shy smile.
Kate rubbed his back and moved past them, and Castle turned and followed even as James squirmed in his arms. The morning sunlight came through the windows and lit the empty rooms, and Kate seemed bewildered.
"Tired," she said, seeing his face as he passed her.
"Eggs? Or I can make you something else," he answered. "Waffles - use up the last of the mix."
"Actually. Yeah?"
"Yeah," he agreed easily. "James would kiss you again for that choice."
Kate smiled, though it was faint, and she settled on the stool pulled up to the bar. "Thanks. James want to sit with me while Daddy makes us waffles?"
Castle glanced down but James seemed uninterested, chewing on his fingers with his forehead braced at Castle's collarbone. "Hey, kid. Sit up. Mommy's talking to you."
He jostled the boy and James startled upright, swinging out a little so that Castle had to catch him before he over-balanced. He settled James instead on the top of the counter, pointed at Kate.
"Get Mommy."
James crawled off, giving Kate a tooth-gapped smile, and she laughed this time and opened her arms to him, cuddling him on the counter. Castle turned back to the pantry and found the waffle mix, measured out the powder and milk while he vaguely listened to Kate tease James.
He pulled the waffle-maker out from the cabinet and set it up, spraying the grooves of the waffle iron with nonstick cooking spray. The mix was easy, and he kind of hated it, but Kate said she couldn't tell the difference between this and the stuff he did from scratch. He hoped she was just being nice.
He added cinnamon and a little vanilla to it, and then he opened the freezer and rooted around until he found the pureed bananas. James had been unwilling to eat his usual enhanced bananas for breakfast, and they'd gotten overly warm sitting out. He could put some in the mix and give it to the kid on the sly.
"Hey, Kate? I'm gonna make one of these slices with James's bananas."
James grunted and Kate laughed. "Oh, wolf. You can't possibly know what Daddy is doing. What a face. Castle, look at this."
He turned around and saw James scowling fiercely at him. "Whoa, wolf. I see you growling at me. You gotta eat your protein kid. Eggs ain't enough."
"Really?" Kate said softly.
Castle shrugged. "I - well, honestly, Kate, we haven't been willing to experiment with his diet, you know? So if Boyd says he ought to eat these special bananas, then I'm gonna damn well make sure he eats them."
"Yeah," she said, nodding. "You're right. It might be smart to - no, not experiment - but we need reasons why, don't you think? Just - our next goal probably should be making sure that we know why James needs what he needs."
And does what he does, Castle thought. But Kate was already looking ahead to the next worry - the regimen and the balance of proteins and everything else for James - and Castle couldn't possibly add the rather nebulous idea of - of whatever it was James was doing.
At least not yet. What did it matter if James felt things? So long as he was growing and strong and happy, able to love, then Castle was pretty sure it mattered not at all.
"Make our waffles, Rick," she said then. James was chewing on a teething ring from the circle of her arms. Happy. Loving. Just fine. "Just don't give me those damn bananas."
"Mixing separate batches, love."
"You hear that, JP?" Kate was rubbing her nose against James's. "Daddy is making you your very own waffles. Because he loves us both so much. Yeah, exactly."
He couldn't see James's face, but he could imagine the smile he had - the one he always had when Kate got close and talked only to him. Castle knew that feeling really well.
Castle settled James on his feet in the front yard, the grass so high it came to the boy's waist. They had let the back meadow grow up wild, the path to the cottage being the only thing they tended, but Castle had meant to crop the yard up here, especially since it lead down to the dock and the cliffside beach.
Sasha loped through the grass and came running for them, a swishing sound in the air as her body cut through, and James clapped his hands at her approach. Castle glanced over his shoulder at Kate who was perched on one round stone of the pathway leading up to the front door.
Kate smiled back at him, twirling a purple flower between her fingers, her elbows on her drawn up knees. "Hey, guys. Watching you."
Castle turned back and saw that James was looking at his mother as well, and at hearing her voice, he wriggled happily and launched himself right at Sasha. Castle let the boy go free, and Sasha went down to her belly, allowing James to drape over her back.
The baby patted Sasha's back and made those grunt-growl noises that tickled Jim so much when he'd heard them - the boy imitating the dog for his language. It was rather cute, how James wanted to talk to his dog. Castle decided to join them, coming down to his stomach as well, his elbows propping him up in the grass, and he petted Sasha too.
"What do you think?" he said conversationally. To either of them.
"Sh-sh," the boy tried to say, not quite getting it. James patted a little harder but Sasha only gave a wide yawn with her pink tongue, turned her head back to lick the side of James's face.
The baby chuckled, his old man laugh, and Castle smiled back at them. "Yeah, you guys are cute. Sasha, such a good girl. Thanks for coming around."
The dog had grown a little wild. Her coat was knotted and dirty, and he realized they'd let her have the run of the island. She kept disappearing into the birch trees, but every time James came outside and clapped his hands, the dog came running again.
"Dada."
"Oh, hey there, wolf. Calling me?" He grinned, moving his hand from Sasha's head to pet James's instead. The baby laughed again and dropped back down to the dog's back, twirling his fingers in the long fur near her belly.
And then James got a leaf and he jerked his head up, surprised, and the leaf tangled in the fur seemed to captivate the boy's attention. Castle reached out and tried to help him release the leaf, James's dexterity rather impressive but not at all close to what was needed.
"You got good concentration skills though, wolf." James glanced up to Castle and gave him the more field sign. More, more, more. Over and over. Castle grabbed his little hand and kissed it. "What more? Help you get these leaves off?"
Castle made the field sign for aid, figured that was as close as they'd get to help. It was supposed to be a signal for first aid, but he thought that was the same kind of thing.
"Help. Can you say help?"
Castle repeated the hand gesture, which was a modified version of move out or mount up depending on which field signal book the soldier was going by - ground forces or air control. Most of what they used in the CIA's black ops groups were modified, of course, because of the need for more subtle cues. The ground crew of a Navy aircraft carrier were going to be using wide motions of their arms so a pilot could see them on the flight deck, but a small, four-man team on radio silence weren't able to flap their arms around.
James, however, did some arm flapping.
Castle laughed. "Good try. That's help. You need help getting all the leaves off Sasha?"
He finally untangled the detritus and held it up to James. The boy clapped, his movement causing him to slide off Sasha's side. Now free, and apparently not too thrilled about being groomed, the wolf jumped up and bounded off.
"Oh, so sorry, Jay. But look, we can pick Mommy more flowers."
James pushed up on his hands and rocked back towards his bottom, and then he crawled towards Castle. He used his father's shoulder to pull himself to his feet but he hunched over Castle now, draping himself on Castle's back.
Castle grinned, lifting one arm to give the kid an awkward hug behind him. "Thanks, James Beckett. You're squishy today, huh?"
He wiggled James a little on his back and the boy popped his head up, patted Castle on the shoulder before he laid back down, hugging on him.
Castle wasn't sure if James was trying to wrestle or if this was just some kind of snuggle thing. He'd been a lot more squishy since he started teething, so it was possible that he had another tooth coming in. Meant he might be fussy tonight.
"Bet you're getting a tooth," he said softly. "You think so? We'll have to check."
Suddenly James lifted his head, peered forward, his fists in Castle's shirt.
Castle heard it too, the rustle in the grass, and he went very still. James, ever receptive, did the same - freezing, his body as rigid as Castle's.
"Shh," Castle said softly. James ducked his head back down to Castle, and he could feel the boy's chin in his shoulder, his cheek at the back of Castle's head. "Good boy."
And then he saw them - three little foxes, tails high as they came bounding through the grass. One lifted a nose and scented the wind, but it seemed the perfect opportunity for his brother to pounce on his back, and the distracted fox yipped, spinning around hard. The third one stayed well out of it, but he seemed just as playful, jumping high and diving back down in the grass only to come up once more yards away.
"Foxes," Castle breathed softly. He turned his head only minimally, and caught sight of his son, the boy equal parts bewildered and fascinated. Castle nudged his nose into James's cheek. "Fox."
James hunkered down close, apparently knowing that any untoward movement would scare the three away. Castle didn't have a sign for fox, or anything that might come close, but it didn't seem to matter. James wasn't interested in naming the thing, only in watching it with rapt attention.
Did James feel them there?
The boy had noticed the animals before Castle had, now that he thought about it, but what kind of emotional wake could three little foxes be leaving? James had a kinship with the dog, but Sasha was a member of the family. Sasha had belly-crawled across the kitchen with him, she had licked his face clean of breakfast and been his crutch as he learned to walk. She had been the one to put her muzzle on James's belly when he'd been a newborn, guarding the baby as he slept or keeping watch as he nursed.
Castle expected kinship there, pack mates. But could that same sensation be stirred by some energetic, playful foxes? Did the size of an animal's brain matter, did emotional maturity? Could James feel the Ryan's little girl, Sarah Grace, when she came over to visit with her parents, or did a connection have to be there, some kind of daily exposure?
James gave a soft little sound, wonder and surprise, and Castle knew it didn't matter. It might be nice to know, but until James started talking to them - and understanding and ordering his own world - Castle would have to be content with moments like this, sharing them with his son.
He moved very slowly and gave James a soft nudge. "Score one for Mommy, huh? She said don't hurt the foxes."
"No napping," a voice came.
Kate jerked awake and found Castle's face in her own, his amusement spilling in his eyes. He was stroking the hair back from her face.
"Not napping," she mumbled. "Resting my eyes."
"Uh-huh," he murmured softly. His kiss touched her eyelids, and she sighed in defeat. Castle sat down on the bed and put his hand on her hip, rubbing through the thin material of her shirt. "You get any sleep last night? I figured all day like that should've knocked you out."
"I had bad dreams," she admitted, struggling to sit up. She had sneaked off while Castle had played with James in the front yard, the two of them low to the ground and watching the foxes. She had gone inside with the excuse of keeping Sasha away from the foxes and ruining Castle and James's fun, but now the dog was nowhere in sight.
She'd probably gone out the back door the moment she could.
"Bad dreams? I'm sorry," Castle said. "You okay? Maybe you should nap."
"No," she said, snagging his hand. "You're right. Stay awake and sleep tonight."
"Were bad dreams keeping you awake before?"
She shook her head and leaned in, pulling her knees up to her chest and laying her head on his shoulder. She felt bone-deep weary. Everyone was leaving and she wanted to be on that damn boat, not left behind again.
Left behind with her husband and son. This was where she belonged, and she knew it, and she felt guilty for wanting more when clearly she wasn't ready for more. The infusion had helped, and she'd have another dose - the last - tonight, but she was restless to get back to her old life.
Castle's hand came gingerly to her nape, cupped at her skull. "Kate? What's wrong, love?"
"Just let me stay right here."
"Long as you want," he promised. Everything he said was a promise. Everything.
She let her eyes close again, but she hoped being upright would keep her from drifting off again. "James?"
"With your dad. About ready to assemble the troops for lunch."
"I'm almost ready."
"Take your time," he said easily. His fingers combed through her hair. "You want to talk to me about it?"
"I talked to Colin," she groaned.
Castle laughed, and Kate lifted her head, feeling miserable, but he was chuckling. "Talking to Colin was your nightmare?"
She laughed back, helplessly, and shook her head. "Well, yes, actually, it was kind of a nightmare. I just - I wanted to walk last night and shake it off-"
"Shake it off," he whispered, half-humming that stupid ringtone she'd put on his phone.
But it did the trick. She laughed again and the world was brighter, the day was sunny and streaming in through the windows, and she was leaning against her husband who loved her beyond all reason or comprehension.
"Sit with me," she said, pulling away and scooting back against the headboard. "Give me a hug while I tell you."
Castle laughed at that, but he crawled up to the headboard and opened his arms to her and they settled in together, her body snug against his, one of her knees pulled up over his thigh. He stroked her shoulder and she inhaled the scent of him worn into his shirt, and it was easy.
"I walked out through the meadow behind the house, trying to fill myself up with all those beautiful things - the things you gave me when you brought us here, my gift - the flowers and James and the foxes on the beach and the memories we've made here. It made me feel better."
"At least I could do that, big dumb idiot that I was, asleep when you needed me."
"No," she murmured, lifting her fingers to touch his lips. "Never. I just wanted to-"
"Go."
She nodded. "And then I looked up and I was at the cottage and Hunt was at the window. He opened it and we were talking - he was being a smartass and I was pissed because I was trying to settle myself down - and then he grabbed my wrist and tried to kiss me."
Castle stiffened.
She curled her arm around his bicep and shifted practically on top of him. "Rick."
He finally looked at her, his jaw flexing.
"I know," she said softly. "So I had to say something. We're doing this to him, but I had to make it clear where he stood. Which - which is not even standing at all." He was angry, but she thought it was at their whole situation, and not - hopefully - entirely at Hunt.
They had, after all, been fostering it. Using it to prep Colin to go back.
"Well, anyway when I shoved him, he smacked his head on the window, so I came around inside and-"
"He smacked his head?" Castle growled. "Well, that's better."
She flicked his ear. "I made sure he wasn't concussed, and then I made him sit down and I told him - I told him that I was love in with you. And that it wasn't the kind of 'in love' that fades or falls apart but that it was my whole life. And it crushed him. But I think it - think it helped."
Castle rubbed his hand up her back and hugged her against him. "I'm sorry," he said then. "I'm sorry you had to." His lips brushed her temple. "Not sorry you're in love with me."
"Me either." She sighed and laid her head on his chest. "I'm just glad it's nearly done."
Lunch that day was ruled by the tyranny of leaving, every man for himself. A fast meal, they ate practically on their feet, moving from the kitchen to the bar stools or table, getting another helping or pouring a drink for themselves. James was getting underfoot, threading between their legs and wriggling his body into the spaces between people. Kate was standing with a hip propped against the counter, a hand out to catch the boy when he came for her.
They were all talking about leaving, about the world outside the island, and for the first time in weeks, Castle didn't have that sick panic in his guts at the thought of it.
"You'll have to turn up," Kate was saying. Colin nodded his head at her and stepped away from the fridge to let Reese get inside. "They don't expect you, but the story will stick."
Castle observed from his place at the bar, Jim Beckett moving around Colin, Reese grabbing the loaf of bread, another of their security agents coming inside for a bottle of water, a third eating peanut butter spread on crackers over the sink. Movement, constant movement, and the team out there still on duty and waiting their chance at lunch.
Reese was making a remark to Colin, Kate smirked with a lift of her eyebrow. Her cheeks had color again, and Castle realized he hadn't noticed when she'd lost it, so often were they outside where the natural light made them all look healthy.
James came barreling around the corner, chased by Mack, the usual security agent at the dock. Mack grabbed James and had him squirming, and then he set the boy down on his feet and tossed a salute over his shoulder, heading back outside again. James followed at his feet with Sasha not far behind, but Mack gently put the kid off, shut the door in his face.
James wilted.
"Hey, wolf. Get over here," Castle called to him. His son perked up almost instantly, just like Sasha too, both of them turning their heads and then bounding his direction, Sasha reaching him first and threading through his legs.
Castle leaned over and rubbed her behind the ears, reached out to cup the back of James's head as he pressed himself to his father. James stepped on his feet and wriggled closer, getting between Castle and the bar, the dog with him, both of them competing for the space.
"What're you doing?" Castle laughed, lifting his knee to push his son into the wall, pinning him. James gasped and chuckled, eyes darting up to meet his father's, his hands gripping Castle's knee.
"Poor guy. You're trapped," Reese said, coming to stand beside him with his own sandwich made.
"You'll never get free," Castle grinned, nudging with his knee so that the little body bumped the wall. "Try and escape."
James giggled and squirmed against his shin, dropping low to wriggle, Sasha ducking under Castle's lifted thigh. Reese laughed and put his elbows on the bar, digging into his sandwich.
"Reese, how's the boat looking?"
"Good to go. We had to do some light maintenance in Nantucket before we got back, but it was smooth on the ride out here."
"Gas?"
"Plenty now."
"You'll take Colin to the mainland yourself," Castle said. "Turn around and come back for us here. We'll be leaving at the end of the week."
"I figured."
"You got enough gas for a trip like that?"
"Enough," Reese nodded.
James finally broke through during Castle's distraction, ran from him and into the kitchen. Castle saw Kate get jolted, and then her face lit with that slow smile as she bent over and said something to James.
He turned back to Reese. "Take one of the men with you, Reese. One of the outliers."
"One Colin Hunt hasn't seen?" Reese said, his tone good-natured but serious.
"That's right," Castle said. "I don't know if it can be done, but keep it from him. Keep the man quiet, have him disembark and follow Hunt."
"I know just the guy."
"He'll have to be your best," Castle warned. "Hunt has played this game for a long time."
"I've seen him. Have you?" Reese said suddenly. "When we first got here, Hunt sliding off to do a perimeter check, always roaming the place. He found the first station in about two minutes and we had to work fast to dismantle the second before he got there."
"Yeah, I got that report," Castle muttered.
"I got a man who can move," Reese said. "But Hunt is a deceiver. He's used to checking his blind spots."
"Make sure your man stays in the blinds. You get me? This has to work. I cannot rely on Colin Hunt alone when it comes to the Collective."
"I know," Reese said, not even glancing across the kitchen, not betraying a thing. "I got a man. You don't want some tech on Hunt?"
"He'd find it. Ruin the whole experiment," Castle said easily. He was, partly, trusting Hunt to be what he said he'd be, to be their man on the inside. Bugging him was a bad idea, especially when sooner or later, someone would find the technology. Best case scenario, Hunt would know he hadn't been trusted and he'd be furious, worst case scenario, he was branded an enemy spy and killed where he stood.
"All right. It'll be Rivera," Reese said quietly. "I'll get him myself right now, install him inside the boat."
"Rivera doesn't have to report in like usual. Only if it's outside the scope of our understanding."
"I got it. I'll tell him."
"I do want to know the first contact Hunt makes, whoever it is, wherever it is. This guy is a fox, and I want to know all his holes."
"Yes, sir," Reese said, a grim little smile. They had all been dealing with the foxes on the island; they knew how quick and cunning and destructive they could be. "I'll go now."
"Eat your lunch first, Reese."
"Yes, sir," Reese answered, but he was on the move. He took his sandwich with him and left the kitchen, stranding Castle alone at the bar.
And then James came running around the corner and launched himself at Castle's knees, clinging to his shorts and trying to climb up.
So Castle leaned over and picked him up, kissing a cheek made sticky by banana and strawberries. "Everything's good," he murmured to the boy. "Between the two of us, wolf, we got it covered."