Chapter 1
Back to Reality

20 November 2002
Leaky Cauldron
London

"Hermione?"

The mere sound of her name coming from someone, anyone's mouth, was a terrifying feeling. She'd been avoiding this for three weeks. But coming from his mouth made it that much more difficult for her to meet his eyes. She'd missed those eyes as much as she'd missed hearing his voice. She took a deep breath and exhaled heavily before turning her head slowly to meet his gaze for a moment giving a small, nervous, smile and ducked her head slightly.

"Merlin, it is you," Harry Potter said in shock as he slumped into the booth across from you. "Where've—How are you?"

"I-I'm alright. I mean I-I'm-I'm better," Hermione stammered with a small nod. "H-How are you, Harry? You look great." And he did. Merlin he did. He'd grown up since that final battle. He'd grown tall too, she was sure if she stood she still wouldn't reach his broad shoulders. He looked just the same as he did when she left, though at the same time he looked so much different. Much more carefree and at ease than he had before.

Well it's been how long since you abandoned him? Of course he'd change, she scolded herself mentally.

"I'm alright, I've been working at Hogwarts. I start next term as an instructor. Can you believe it? Me as a teacher," Harry said with his lop-sided smile. "Merlin, I still can't believe you're actually here. You're back…it's been so long. I thought you were gone for good."

Her smile warmed a bit. He didn't seem to hate her. He hadn't forgotten who she was. He actually seemed…glad to see her again. Hermione felt the beginnings of warmth and relief sweep through her body like she'd not felt in so long. Keeping herself from getting choked up she forced her mind to switch gears, "Let me guess, you're to be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

He gave a small smile that told her the answer before he ever verbalized it, "Yeah, apparently they thought I was the best candidate. So where've you been? What brought you back?"

"I told you when I left where I was going, Harry," Hermione said quietly, she really didn't want to get into this conversation, not yet.

"Oh yeah…you left with Daniel. For the States right?" He asked curiously, though Hermione knew all too well that he wasn't asking after Daniel's welfare, just asking indirectly if they were still together and, in doing so, asking if he was there in London too. "What's that prat up to these days?"

"Yes, I lived in Colorado for the last few years but I left about three weeks ago. And I don't suppose he's up to much of anything anymore…" Hermione said quietly, her voice drifting off after the last word. She began avoiding his gaze once more, her eyes locked on her clasped hands.

"What do you mean not up to much of anything?" He frowned in obvious confusion.

"He's dead," Hermione said flatly and emotionlessly.

"Oh," Harry said, blinking in surprise, unsure of what else to say without making himself look any worse. "I'm sorry?"

"Don't be, I'm not," the witch said evenly though quietly enough that he'd had to strain to hear the words. Her tone told him clearly that the conversation was over for the time being. He noticed how she nervously rubbed her hands together as though she was trying to get rid of a bad feeling. Since when did Hermione have nervous habits? Eventually, he hoped, she'd be comfortable talking to him again. Like she used to be.

Harry cleared his throat and sat forward clasping his hands in front of him, studying her intently enough to make her squirm under his gaze. "How long did you say you've been back?"

"Three weeks," Hermione replied. "I finally got the chance to come home and I took it."

"Three weeks and you didn't let anyone know?" Harry frowned.

"Well, for the last two years I hadn't gotten a single letter from anyone. I'd thought you'd all moved on and forgotten me. It wasn't until the day of Daniel's death that I found out that he was the reason why I hadn't heard from you. He'd been forgetting to give your letters to me when I'd come home from work in the evenings," Hermione explained, hating to lie to Harry but not yet wanting to get into the real reason behind Daniel's death. "By that time, I figured you'd all just about hate me for abandoning you like I did."

The feel of his blood staining her hands still haunted her, not just in her dreams but when she was awake too. She rubbed her hands together again absently; the thought of his death on her hands was enough to send a shudder down her spine, though she thought she'd hid it well. "I didn't think anyone would really want to see me and after everything that happened before I left Colorado…I needed some time alone to gather myself."

"Hermione," Harry sighed softly, "You were behind me and at my side when I needed you. I'm not sure why you'd think it would be any different were our roles reversed in anyway. You should know that 'Mione."

"But I didn't know that, Harry. I should have listened to you and Ron and everyone else. I never should have left. I'm sorry, you know. I'm sorry for leaving like I did," she said, quietly.

"It's just good to have you back, 'Mione. I really missed you. It's really not been the same since you've been gone," Harry said in earnest.

The two fell silent as the food she'd ordered was placed in front of her. She thanked the waiter and pushed her food around on her plate a moment before taking a small forkful into her mouth. "I really missed you too. I just hope everyone else is as forgiving as you are. I'm not holding my breath, I don't quite care for passing out anytime soon but I can hope…How is everyone else?"

"They're well. Ron's been seeing Luna Lovegood for a good six months now. It seems to be going well enough. She's one of the only ones who won't take his temper personally, I think," He said with a small smile, which she returned between bites of her dinner. "The twins are doing well enough in their shop. It's still up and running and just as much of a nuisance to Hogwarts as it was when we were there. Bill and Fleur got married right after you left. They've got a little girl, Rebecca, and one on the way. She's actually gotten to where she's tolerable."

Hermione smiled softly and nodded in thought. She knew she'd been gone a while but it still amazed her at everything that had changed while she was gone. A tinge of sadness swept through her as she listened to what she'd missed. Major events in the lives of those she'd always cared so much about. "What about Ginny?"

Harry smiled and shook his head, "That girl has gotten to be a firecracker. She followed your footsteps into St. Mungo's and she's doing great there. I was kind of surprised when she took over the children's ward though. Being a Healer's about as far as she followed you though. As far as I know, she's not seeing anyone or anywhere near ready to settle down."

"There's a story there," Hermione observed, still able to read her friend.

"She was seeing ol' Seamus Finningan for a while. Apparently, during a dinner that consisted of a little too much firewhiskey and some friendly banter, the two ended up kicked out of the restaurant for being too loud, she went to apparate them sidelong back to her flat….only they somehow ended up back at the Burrow," Hermione choked slightly on her food, her eyes wide, she put her fork down and nodded for him to continue. "Well…Mrs. Weasley woke up and got all excited thinking that Ron had decided to surprise her with a visit home…I mean the noise was coming from his bedroom and all."

"Oh no!" Hermione gasped, laughing and eyes wide. "Mrs. Weasley walked in on them?"

Harry nodded in amusement, "not only that but everyone was over the next morning for breakfast and Mrs. Weasley attempted to embarrass Ginny about the whole situation. Ginny shrugged it off and dismissed Seamus right there. She told him, word for word 'well it was fun but you know where the door is'."

Hermione shook her head in amazement, "Wow…what did Mrs. Weasley say? What did Ron say?"

"Ron wasn't sure which fact to be more disgruntled about, the fact that Seamus had slept with his sister, or that they'd done it in his bed. He did turn an unusual shade of red though," Harry grinned. "I thought it was all funny."

"I bet, wow, I don't even know what I'd have thought," Hermione shook her head again, laughing softly. It felt good to smile and laugh. It'd been so long since she'd been able to do so freely. She smiled as Harry reached over and idly picked up her abandoned fork and took a bite of her food, "And what about you, Mr. Potter?"

"What about me?" He asked, tilting his head, amusement still dancing in his green eyes.

"Who's the lucky witch in your life?" She asked teasingly but with earnest curiosity.

Harry shook his head slowly as he stole another bite of her dinner, "No one. I don't think I've dated anyone steadily since we left Hogwarts. I've been on a few dates here and there, but nothing really to make note of."

"Really?" She said tilting her head curiously. Her mind started sending her warning flares, she was getting to close to an uncomfortable topic for her own good. She knew she needed to just leave it at that but curiosity got the best of the witch once again, "How come?"

It was Harry's turn to lower his gaze to his clasped hand, "I don't know. I suppose there's just not been anyone I've really been interested in. Not in a long while. Most the girls that I've gone on dates with…they've not really been…real. You know what I mean? I guess I've just been waiting for someone who actually wants me for me…not for what I did all those years ago."

Hermione nodded and give him an understanding smile and silence fell between the two. After a few moments of watching him eat her dinner, she chuckled inwardly then outwardly shifted awkwardly, "I really should be getting home…"

"Oh okay, would you like me to walk you?" Harry asked.

"Um, sure, if you'd like," she replied, feeling unusually shy around her old friend.

"Of course," He nodded, grabbing her bag of books from the seat next to her and dropping a few coins on the table for her meal. When she looked up at him in with a hint of her old stubbornness and he grinned, "Buying you dinner's the least I can do after not seeing you for so long. Got to start making up lost time somewhere. Besides, I think I ate as much of it as you did."

She smiled and shook her head with a silent chuckle. "Fair enough," she replied as she led the way out of the Pub and into the streets of Muggle London. The cold air hit her sharply making her stumble as she rushed to wrap her coat tighter around her for warmth. "I still hate the cold." She flushed slightly when she heard his soft chuckle of amusement.

A few blocks of companionable silence later, they reached the building and climbed to the third level. Hermione shifted from foot to foot, somewhat awkwardly, "My place really isn't in the best of shape for visitors…today was the first day I've left in three weeks," She said with a nervous smile.

He nodded in understanding setting her books on the floor next to her feet and pulling her into a hug. The surprise of the physical contact caused her heart to start pounding and her eyes widened and she started to pull away fearfully before she caught herself and allowed herself to be hugged. This is Harry, not Daniel. He's not going to hurt you. She exhaled heavily and wrapped her arms as tightly around him as his was around her.

"Merlin, I missed you, Hermione."

"I missed you too, Harry. I really did." She said quietly, her read resting against his chest comfortably.

"Hey, why don't you come with me to the Burrow for dinner this weekend? It's sort of become a tradition to go there for dinner every other Saturday. They'd all love to see you again," he said, pulling back slightly to look down at her.

She stiffened slightly but considered the prospect. Slowly, she nodded in acceptance, "Okay, I'll go."

He smiled brightly, a look that brought a smile to her face. "Good, I'll stop by at noon to get you then?" He said as he released her from his embrace and stepped back.

"Okay, sounds good," Hermione said, excitement and nerves growing in her mind.

"Great!" He said. "I'll see you then. It's great seeing you again, Hermione. I-I'll see you later then?"

"Of course," She smiled, leaning against her door watching him leave. "Oh and Harry? It's supposed to be a surprise. That means you don't tell Ron."

A slow grin crossed his expression and he nodded in agreement. "Good to have you back 'Mione. Good to have you back."

24 November 2002
Hermione's Apartment
London

Four days later Hermione paced anxiously in her living room. Her eyes flickered to the clock on the wall. Eleven thirty. Rubbing her hands together nervously, she moved to look at herself in the full length mirror on the inside of her bedroom door. Looking over herself once more, worrying over her appearance was easier than worrying about the reactions of the surrogate family that she'd walked out on years before.

At twenty-three, Hermione still held some of the attractive appearance that she held when she left for Colorado. She was still young enough that she regained some of it rather quickly after she left Colorado. Her hair was down to the small of her back and the weight kept the locks from frizzing as badly as it used to. There was shine back in the long chestnut curls. A few weeks of decent meals and good care had helped to revitalize her hair.

While the surface of her skin was clear of the purplish bruising, most of it had taken on the sickly yellowish hue; some of the bones were still slowly healing and were still rather tender to the touch. Her hazel eyes still held the haunted look, though she could start to see some of her old self peering through the shadowed eyes. Despite what she'd been through, Hermione had to say that she looked healthier than she had in a long time. She'd even started to gain a bit of extra weight; all in all, being home was beginning to do her well.

She'd dressed simply but comfortably for the dinner in a pair of light blue jeans that fit just right and a soft pink and chocolate brown knitted sweater with a hood and sleeves that were just a little too long that she'd loved so much because it was so soft to the touch, and a simple pair of black leather boots. Hermione had even done just a little with her makeup, something she'd gratefully learned during her time with Daniel. She didn't have anything to cover or hide this time, so she stuck with a conservative soft pink that matched her sweater and a light coat of mascara, both which helped to brightened her dulled hazel eyes.

She stepped back to look over herself again and smiled softly. In the last few years she'd grown into her body, no matter how badly Daniel said he disliked it, Hermione figured it was because in hiding it from everyone else's eyes that might be competition, and he'd also hid it from himself. It didn't matter anymore though. He was gone and she looked good, if she did say so herself. She giggled softly to herself at that thought.

Now if she could just get through this dinner without any confrontations or panic attacks. That was the biggest reason why she stayed home so much. Being in crowds of people still drove her nerves past their limits. Someone would bump into her and she'd nearly jump out of her skin. Someone would come around the corner and surprise her and she'd flinch back in preparation for an attack of some sort. It was pathetic and she knew it, but she couldn't help it. He still got to her, no matter how far away from him she was.

A knock on the front door made her jump from her thoughts and her gaze flew to the clock on her bedside table, Noon. She rushed from her place in front of the mirror and to the front door, peering through the peep-hole before opening the door with a smile, "Hello Harry."

"Hey," He said, returning the smile. She noted his gaze as it took in her appearance from head to toe and back again and she blushed at the approval in his bright green eyes. "You look great."

"Thank you, let me grab my keys and I'll be good to go," she said as she trotted and snatched up said keys from the coffee table she turned around to leave to find him standing inside the door looking around curiously.

"It's a nice place. It suits you well," he said as his eyes scanned his surroundings.

"Thanks," she said nervously, though completely unsure why she was nervous. "You ready to go, Harry?"

"Hmm? Yeah, let's go," He said with a bright smile, offering his bent arm to her.

"Harry Potter, Chivalrous? I'm impressed," she teased affectionately.

He grinned and shrugged, "Got to do something to impress the great Hermione Granger."

She blushed slightly but rolled her eyes, "Don't let it go to your head now Potter."

His grin simply widened as he led the way from her apartment and out into the street. They both laughed at his overly animated antics. She shook her head as he led them around the corner into an alley that was blocked off and out of sight. "Hold on tight," he said with a playfully teasing grin.

She rolled her eyes and swatted his shoulder before slipping an arm around his waist, preparing for the sidelong apparition that she'd not done in years, and even when she had, didn't so much like. She tensed a little when his arm slipped around her waist but before he could take note of it, a loud Crack! took them from the alley near her flat, to the dirt road that was within walking distance from the Burrow.

Harry relaxed his hold on her as they both gained their balance before he tucked her hand back into the crook of his arm and led her towards the lopsided house that was the Burrow. The house was within sight when Hermione came to a complete stop, stopping Harry mid-step, "Everything alright, 'Mione?"

"Just nervous, is all," she said, her eyes studying the house in the distance. It'd been so long since she'd been there. She looked up at him as he studied her curiously before nodding slowly and exhaling heavily, "Let's go."

Without another word, Harry led her down the hill and to the back door of the house, which led directly into the kitchen. He put his finger to his lips in a silencing motion and squeezed her hand before stepping into the door way. "I've got a surprise for everyone," his amused voice said to a room she still couldn't see into. She heard murmuring voices and his hand moved around her waist and he directed her gently in front of him and pushed her gently into the Weasley kitchen where the entire Weasley clan seemed to be gathered. Apparently even Charlie and Bill seemed to make these get-togethers, or at least they had this time around.

All was completely silent for a few moments and both Harry and Hermione waited on bated breath while her return registered in everyone's mind. The ticking of the clock on the wall was nearly enough to drive her insane as she waited for a reaction…any reaction was better than nothing.

It was only a split second more before a loud shriek echoed through the kitchen and Hermione was tackled into a hug by the first of the redheaded family, Ginny Weasley. Hermione inwardly cringed at the girl's impact into her still-injured ribs and her nerves screamed in panic at the sudden contact but she held on by threads and hugged her friend in return. "Hermione! How are you? Where have you been? Oh-that doesn't matter right now, come in!" Hermione couldn't help but be amused in how much the youngest and only Weasley girl had grown to be a lot like her mother.

It was only a matter of moments before the rest of the Weasleys crowded around her calling their greetings and throwing their questions to her. She felt herself begin to shake. One person, she could handle, but she felt herself on the verge of a panic attack and her control was quickly sliding down hill. What was a warm and cozy kitchen was quickly becoming much too warm for her liking. Her head started to spin when she felt a hand slip around her waist and pull her out of the circle of redheads, "Whoa, give the girl some space. She's gone from little company to this in a matter of hours," Harry said in a way that was joking but serious in the same time.

She leaned back against him, trying to catch her breath and calm her frayed nerves, hoping none of the redheaded family had noticed how badly she'd been unsettled. "You okay, 'Mione?" he whispered into her ear. She nodded slowly. This was really going to take a lot of getting used to. Her nerves were so rattled and frayed from the previous months of torment that readjusting herself to human contact was going to take a lot of courage that she wasn't sure she had. It took a moment before her shaking settled but she played it off well enough as she focused on listening to the nonstop conversation of the Weasley household. Despite the fact that they kept asking her questions, they didn't stop talking long enough for her to answer.

Hermione had lost herself in the comfortable chatter about the kitchen that she hadn't even noted that she was still drawing comfort from leaning back against the wizard standing behind her until his hand rested at her waist causing her to jump slightly in start, before looking up curiously at him and then back to the commotion in the kitchen. She smiled when a mug of hot tea was shoved into her hands but a bustling Mrs. Weasley. "Do you need any help, Mrs. Weasley?" Hermione offered ready to do anything other than stand idly. She couldn't help but think that the idleness was showing her insecurities that much more.

"Oh no, don't you mind any of this Hermione, you go into the other room with the rest of the kids until dinner's ready," the older witch said, pulling her from Harry's hold into a strong, motherly hug that didn't cause Hermione's nerves any discomfort and seemed to calm the ache of her sides. "It's good to have you back, Hermione." The younger witch reveled in how much she missed that maternal embrace. It'd been so long since she felt the kind of comfort a family brought.

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley, it's good to be back," She said looking the older woman in the eyes.

Molly tilted her head and frowned slightly but patted Hermione's shoulders gently, "Go on, Hermione, go catch up with the others. You and I will catch up later," the last sentence wasn't a request but a statement. Hermione knew immediately that Molly Weasley picked up and figured in a span of a few moments that Harry had not in the longer period of time she'd been back around him. She nodded and took in Molly's grim but understanding smile. Yes, Molly Weasley knew something had happened to Hermione since she'd been gone, even if she didn't know what.

Hermione followed felt her hand being snatched up and smiled in amusement when Ginny dragged her into the living room and sat her down next to her before the rest of the boys could take up all the chairs in the room.

"So?" Ginny prompted.

Hermione gave the girl a blank look and gave a small shrug, "So what?"

Ginny huffed, "Where have you been? Tell us about Colorado? Did you have fun? Come on, girl, spill."

The older witch felt herself shrink back into the cushions of the old, worn couch as she searched her mind for something to say. "It was alright, I suppose. There's really nothing for me to talk about, Ginny…"

Harry must have somehow sensed her discomfort because before the redheaded witch could launch into another round of questions he jumped in, "So, uh, Ginny….How's Seamus?" He said with a small smirk as he perched himself on the arm rest next to Hermione, resting a hand on her shoulder.

Ginny gave him a look and rolled her eyes, "He's still trying to get me to change my mind. Is it really that hard of a concept to grasp that I wasn't looking for anything more than what I got?"

Hermione bit her lower lip to keep from laughing, remembering the story that Harry had told her earlier. She let herself relax back against her old friend once more, once again soaking in that feeling of comfort that she'd not felt in a very long time washed over her, though at the same time, an unsettling feeling crossed through her that she couldn't quite pinpoint.

That is, until she glanced up and her eyes met with a pair of blue ones studying her intently from the stair case that led to all the upper levels of the house. She ducked her head a little bit as she met the intense, inquisitive gaze, a gaze which seemed to instantly turn frosty.

"What's she doing here?" Ron Weasley asked in a cold, flat tone, looking around the room at his siblings.

"Ron!" Ginny scolded, "Stop being so rude."

"What? She disappears and ignores us for…how long were you gone, exactly, Hermione?" Ron sneered. "Doesn't matter anyway, you can just return and expect to pick up where you left off. Maybe with everyone else, but not with me."

Hermione sunk back into her seat, wishing she could just disappear. "I know, and I'm sorry Ron. Perhaps one of these days I'll be able to better explain the last few years to you."

Ron snorted, "You do that, Hermione. Like it's going to make a difference. You still abandoned everyone you cared about."

"You don't think I realize that Ronald?" Hermione said quietly.

"It doesn't matter, Hermione. I really have no desire to hear your excuses," the wizard said before turning and walking out of the house without another word.

Hermione stared at her hands and bit her lip to keep from crying. She knew her welcome wasn't going to be the warmest from everyone. But she'd hoped Ron would have been a little more accepting and happy to see her back.

"Don't worry, 'Mione, he'll come around eventually," Harry said softly, his hand smoothing gently over her back. "He always does."

She nodded solemnly and wrapped her arms around herself before turning her attention back to the remainder of the family. The conversations had taken root and she was perfectly content just sitting back and listening to everyone talk. Her head came to rest against Harry's thigh and before long she felt sleep taking her. Only barely did she feel Ginny pry the cup of tea from her sleepy fingers, and just as slight was the feeling of Harry's hand gently combing through her hair. Everything around her had brought her back to that home feeling and her body was finally unwinding and allowing itself to relax. This is what she'd missed.

Home.

Author's Note:

UPDATE: A few minor changes and clean up has been done on this chapter!

So there's the first chapter of the actual story. I do have a pretty decent idea on the direction I'm planning on going with this story and I've got two more chapters completed that need to be scrubbed but they'll be up shortly as well.

Please let me know what you think so far!