Author's Note:

If you're still reading and coming back for more-Welcome Back! If you're just starting this story-Thank you!

First off, I would like to thank those of you who have reviewed and a double dose of thanks for the very kind and supportive words that many of you have offered. I have good days and I have bad days but positive words and kindness do help both shine just a bit brighter so thank you.

Secondly, this chapter is comparatively tame compared to the previous few. There are some very minor references to Daniel but not in the same graphic sense as I have done previously.

Third, I hope that you enjoy this chapter despite the tameness and I truly look forward to reading any and all reviews that you would like to leave. Once again, any suggestions/recommendations will always be taken into consideration and possibly included so long as it doesn't drastically alter where I see the story ending up.

So I will leave you to it!

ABD

Chapter 5
Begin to Heal
1 December 2002
the Burrow
Ottery St. Catchpole

For yet another time that day, Hermione felt tears moving down over her cheeks. Pulling her hands away from the two she wiped her face dry with the sleeve of her cloak before folding her hands in her lap. Staring down at her fingers she took another solidifying breath before speaking again, "The reason Ginny and your mum were in the room with me, the reason I ran, it's that…it's that I'm pregnant. Daniel's, of course."

She felt the bodies of both men tense slightly and there was a split moment of complete silence between the three. Hermione took another steadying breath and focused firmly on her folded hands in attempts to steal herself from whatever the outcome of this revelation might be. She hoped for the best, of course, but she instinctively prepared herself for the worst. Before her fear had the opportunity to settle over, she felt an arm slip from her left around her waist and one from her right slip around her shoulders. The sudden, unexpected, contact caused a touch of start but she forced it down as firmly as she could. The comforting touch of her two long-time best friends was soothing to her nerves but she couldn't quite bring herself to meet the eyes of either. She'd learned the hard way, after all, that contact could very well be misleading.

Both arms tightened protectively, to her surprise, it was Ron who broke the silence first, "Meet any necromancers while you were across the pond?"

Hermione's head snapped up and she stared at the redhead in obvious confusion. She opened and closed her mouth a few times trying to make sense of the question that well and truly made no sense at all.

"I….I don't recall meeting any necromancers?" she stammered rather dumbly, knowing that the statement came out more of a question than an answer to his own question.

"What about you, Harry? Managed to come across any when you were doing your studies for DADA?"

It was Harry's turn to blink in confusion. His friend was making no more sense to him than he was to Hermione. Seeing as Ron didn't seem to want to let go of the unusual question, Harry forced his own answer through the confusion. "No mate, no necromancers. I don't think I did much visiting to the regions they tend to favor these days. Not that they'd be likely tell me if they were."

"Well, there goes that idea," Ron said, sounding truly disappointed in the two negative responses. "Think we could put a little of our 'War Credibility' into digging one up?"

Harry and Hermione glanced at one another, clearly seeing if the redhead was making any sense to the other. Uncertainly, Harry finally asked, "Can I ask where the sudden interest in necromancy is coming from?"

"I just figured it we had a necromancer on our side we might be able to bring that Daniel back so I can kill him all over again," Ron replied without batting an eye at the statement. Without taking his gaze off of the random point on a tree across the way, he added, "I'm sure I can think of a few others who'd be willing to help. As much as I'd like to take it on my own, it'd be something to let Mum and Gin loose on him. Gin's a healer, I'm sure she knows all sorts of ways to do damage, heal it up and then do more-Ouch! What the hell was that for?!"

As Ron had been verbally debating the merits to doing her late ex a pain filled death, Hermione felt her vision narrow. Unbidden memories as to how well Daniel was with dealing damage and occasionally healing her just so that he could do more without actually killing her flooded her mind. Her shortness of breath, trembling, and the tightening of her still folded hands had brought her state of panic to Harry's attention. She didn't even notice when the warm arm that circled her back at the waist moved. Nor did she notice the slight jerking when Harry swatted their friend on the backside of his head.

"Oh shit, Hermione? What'd I do?" Ron stuttered, eyes wide.

Harry shook his head, offering the other wizard a slightly annoyed 'I'll explain later' glance before shifting to kneel in front of the trembling witch. Careful not to move to quickly or grip too firmly, he took her hands into his, thumb moving in soothing circles over the back of her hand.

"Come on, Hermione, come back to us. He's not here anymore. You're safe," he said repetitiously in as soft and soothing of a tone as he knew how to manage. "Come on, beautiful, come back to us"

Slowly but eventually, her breathing calmed and she slowly raised her gaze to meet the green ones watching her carefully. Hermione took a deep breath and exhaled heavily to reground herself. She gave Harry a watery smile as she tried to force the trembling from her body. Finally feeling as close to normal as she could at the moment she nodded slowly, "I'm okay."

Harry studied her expression for a moment before squeezing her hands and releasing them to retake his seat on her left, his hand moving to run comfortingly up and down her spine.

Ron glanced guiltily between his two friends before ducking his head and speaking up in a tentative voice, "I'm sorry, Hermione. Would you…would you be able to tell me what it is exactly I did so I can know not to do it in the future?"

Hermione swallowed the lump in her throat and made to speak. She was slightly surprised when Harry spoke quietly in her stead. "It was the talk of violence. Of the pattern. The never ending cycle."

The witch refocused on her folded hands, feeling Ron's gaze flicker back and forth between she and Harry once again. His confusion and lack of understanding was quite palpable. She just couldn't bring herself to be the one to explain. One panic attack was one too many for the evening.

Harry sighed, "It bothered me for a while too, after I was able to get away from the Dursleys and spend most the year at Hogwarts. Never really said it at the time, but that was largely the reason why everything that happened with Quirrell bothered me as much as it did. Not to mention it added to a lot of my moody behavior throughout the years. I'd be lying to say it wasn't part of the reason I chose not to go through Auror training also. To you it's just a matter of fact. Not really something much thought's put into aside from the random plotting. To people like myself and Hermione…people who've had that kind of cycle at the hands of someone else…even talking offhandedly like you were can be debilitating. I can handle it better now, for the most part anyway, mostly but my situation with the Dursleys has had time to at least start healing over. For something as fresh as what Hermione's gone through, it's not as easy to brush off."

Ron was silent for a few moments as the information settled into his mind. Head tilted in concentration he spoke, "Sort of like how we were all jumpy at loud sounds and the like after the battle was over, then?"

"Exactly like," Harry nodded. "Muggle psychiatrists and psychologists-er Mind Healers-call it Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Shortened PTSD. It's not generally something that really ever goes away entirely but it does get better with time a bit of work. I did some of my own research over it after the war ended when I was trying to make sense of some of my thoughts and actions over the years."

The trio fell into silence as the third member let his mind work through the information he had just been given. Hermione shifted somewhat awkwardly before taking the silence as her opportunity to change the topic back onto safer grounds, "I can definitely see you as a professor after that lecture, Harry."

Harry offered a small smile and just shrugged, "Like I said, I'd just done some research to try getting my own head in order."

"You know, a few years ago I might not have believed that you'd done research all on your own," Hermione teased.

"A few years ago you'd have been right to disbelieve," he admitted. Noting that Ron clearly still looked fully overwhelmed, he reached across to pat the other wizard on the shoulder, "Don't worry too much on it, mate, it's understandable that it's a struggle to figure out."

Ron nodded slowly before turning to look at the pair seated next to him. His expression was solemn as he carefully took Hermione's hand in his much larger one, squeezing gently. "You're not alone in any of this, Hermione. That baby is going to have more uncles than he or she knows what to do with and an aunt and two sets of grandparents to spoil them rotten. Mum's probably working on tiny socks already."

"Thank you, Ron. It means so much that you're really willing to put up with this train wreck that I seem to be wrapped up in," Hermione smiled softly.

"Of course I am. We all are. Just….Hermione, please don't run again. Don't hide from us. We'll all give you the space and the peace you need. You know any one of us would give you just about anything you'd need. We want to help, however it is that you need or want it. Just please don't make us lose you again," Ron said, tone pleading.

"I don't plan on going anywhere. This is home. I was stupid for going the first time," Hermione said with a weary sigh.

"I don't think he's trying to make you feel guilty, Hermione," Harry interrupted. "We're worried about you. We really missed you when you were gone. And knowing what we do, about what you've been through, we're afraid for you and we want to be there for you."

Hermione nodded, trying to hold back the tears and rushing emotions that were fighting their way forward. It was amazing to her how unsettled her emotions were these days. She wasn't quite sure if she should put the blame to her pregnancy or just to life in general.

Once again, Ron was the one to break the silence, though thankfully, with more tact than his previous attempt. "Probably not the most correct question but I too curious not to ask. Have you got a bump yet?"

The witch blushed but nodded shyly. At his non-verbal request, she stood and fastened her cloak, laying it over the log where she had been sitting. Turning to where she could face both men, she gathered the loose fabric of her shirt at the back and pulled it to where the front of the shirt was snug over her abdomen. The bump was there and noticeable if someone was actually paying attention. On one hand, it had her in a bit of a mild panic because it made her situation a bit more real. On the other hand it had her in a bit of awe. That her body really was creating something in there. She watched carefully as her two best friends tentatively reached out and place a hand over the slight swell of her belly.

She watched curiously as their expressions shifted. Harry seemed to settle somewhere between awestruck and sadness whereas Ron's expression settled into a weary confusion. The analytical side of her mind tried to reconcile the expressions with what she knew about the two wizards.

Ron was the easiest to understand, in her opinion. He was still young enough when his mother was pregnant with Ginny and he'd unlikely to have been around too many pregnant witches. Added to the fact that he was obviously still very upset about what the last two years had brought Hermione. Both the weariness and the confusion were quite understandable reactions for the ginger wizard.

Hermione took a short moment to study Harry's expression before her mind could come to a preliminary understanding. It was a well-known fact, to those who knew him well, that Harry had always wanted a family of his own. The Weasleys had done a magnificent job as a surrogate family but it was reasonable that the wizard would hope to have family that's truly his own. She supposed it made sense, then, that seeing her on her way to starting her own tiny family could equally explain both the sadness and the awestruck.

As they withdrew their hands, Hermione released her grip on her blouse and sat back down pulling her cloak back around her as she went. The arms went back around her waist and shoulders and their free hands took a hold of hers. With the feeling of warmth and safety enveloping her, she smiled affectionately and rested her head against Harry's shoulder. The trio fell silent, each in their own thoughts but strangely content in the quiet.

Later that evening, Hermione found herself back in the upstairs bathroom at the Burrow studying herself in the mirror. She'd made a point not to pay much attention to the bump that she'd revealed to her friends earlier. In fact, it wasn't until Ron had asked that she'd even considered that those around her might be interested in the development. Perhaps it was just the fact that she'd made such a point to try to ignore what was going on with her body these days. Something she'd perfected over the last year or so that she'd been with Daniel.

Her expression dropped to a frown, her mind wandering as she continued the examination of her body. There were still times that she struggled to reconcile the Daniel of that last year to the man she'd fallen for early on in the relationship. She had loved him. Of that she had very little doubt. It would have taken nothing less for someone to convince her to leave everything that she knew for what might as well have been an entirely different planet. He had been unfailingly sweet and attentive from the moment mutual attraction had risen between them.

Even that first stretch of time after they'd first left England for the States. He'd come home from work surprising her with lovely flowers and various trinkets that he thought she'd like. He had even capitulated when they went to buy the house that she'd loved so much. It hadn't been an instant love for him as it had been for her. But when he'd seen the expression of absolute adoration at the sight of the large, elegant red brick fireplace on Hermione's face, he'd begun the paperwork to purchase the home the very same day.

The day that they received the keys to the house was decidedly one of the best she had had to date. It certainly hadn't taken them long to fill it with furniture and to…make their mark…on each and every one of the rooms. Hermione remembered the feeling of absolute bliss. Of love and total contentment. With the mirrored expressions on his face, she had been so absolutely certain that they had finally reached the moment where everything had finally changed, for the better. She remembered thinking that if the man had thought to propose that very moment in time, there would have been absolutely nothing that could have made her say no.

Of course, now she was very grateful that he never did. It had been something that she'd pondered over for months. Trying to figure out why he never did. But she had been right, something in that moment, in that time, had caused everything to change but not in the good way as she'd hoped. She never had figured out what it was that caused such a drastic-and in her opinion, tragic-change in the man that she had only ever known to be sweet and caring. It was something that she had found herself revisiting more frequently than she would care to admit in recent weeks.

She had, of course, figured out that after that initial change just about any and everything was more than enough to trigger her-former?-lover's temper. But then again, he had begun taking and hiding her letters almost from the very beginning. Had it always been a ruse? Had he ever actually loved her the way that she'd been devoted to him? What was it that drove him to destroy everything? Was it something that she had-or hadn't-done that provoked such a response from her wizard?

With a despondent sigh she shook her head clear of that train of thought and focused more avidly on her physical perusal. Now that she had begun to actually acknowledge her pregnancy, the changes in her body became much more noticeable. Not just in her slightly rounded belly either. Whether due to the pregnancy, a healthier and safer lifestyle, or a combination of the two, her face had begun to round slightly as well. Somewhat bashfully, despite being the only one in the bathroom, Hermione tentatively moved her hands to cup her breasts, curiously exploring the recently developed swollen heaviness. She had noticed upon dressing the last several mornings that her normal undergarments not only didn't fit any longer but were extremely painful to wear as well. Hermione supposed she ought to gather a bit of courage and ask Molly for advice on trading them out for their maternity counterparts.

A soft rapt at the door startled her from her thoughts. Quickly she dropped her hands and redressed-sans bra-and opened the door to peak out.

"Sorry to bother you, Hermione," Ginny said, sheepishly, "you had just been in there for quite a while and I wanted to make sure that you're alright."

Hermione flushed and nodded slightly, "Yes, sorry I got lost in thought a bit. I hadn't realized I'd been in there so long."

The other witch smiled warmly as the two made their way to Ginny's bedroom. "Can I ask what had you so deep in thought that you'd lost track of time?

Hermione chewed nervously at her lower lip before remembering the surprised conclusion that she had come to earlier. She sighed heavily and glanced wearily to her friend before moving trembling fingers to raise her blouse up over her belly to just beneath her breasts, revealing the bump that she'd made a point to both hide and ignore for the last week or so. A surprised gasp escaped the ginger witch and her hand reached out to lay against the bump. A small part of Hermione's mind-the part that wasn't frozen with anxiety-found the similar reactions amongst her friends to be rather amusing.

"I know, logically, you'd begin showing at some point in the near future but I hadn't really given it much thought," Ginny said, voice carrying a touch of awe. The redhead turned her glance up to her friend's expression and smiled warmly. "I take it you told the boys and then proceeded to get all introspective on us?"

With a sheepish nod, the witch ran her hand over the bump on the opposite side from where Ginny's hand still rested. "Yes, that's what we were talking about when we took off after dinner." Ginny nodded, having expected as much. "Ron had some choice things to say, of course, but not really directed at me. It's odd but funny though. This has been here for a week now and I'd made such a point to try to ignore what was going on with my body that those two might as well have seen it before I did. At least so far as acknowledgement goes. But now that I've shown them, and shown you, I don't really know why I made such a point to remain ignorant as long as I did."

Hermione frowned in thought before continuing, "When I was in the bathroom a bit ago was the first time I've actually examined the changes my body has gone through. I mean, the morning after you'd told me I looked to try to understand how I hadn't known. But I was still so physically injured that nothing really stood out as a change. But, Gin, everything has pretty much changed or at least started to change now. It feels like a batch of popcorn popping up in my belly. The books I've read? That's the baby. Moving! I can feel it moving now when just a week ago I didn't even know I was pregnant! It's all happening and changing so fast that I don't even know how to keep up."

Ginny, who had remained silent throughout the brunette's revelations, offered a warm hug and led her to sit on the edge of her bed before taking a seat at her side. "I know that the whole situation isn't exactly ideal but I think you're going to be an amazing mum. And any struggles that you've got, you'll have the entirety of the Weasley and Potter families to help you out however we can." Ginny paused and grinned before tentatively reaching out to lay her hand back overtop her friend's swelling belly. "Hermione, you're going to have a baby! You're going to be a Mum! As bad as the situation has been, I'm so incredibly happy that you're letting me, us, be a part of this. Don't you worry, Auntie Gin will happily take on babysitting duty whenever you need it."

Hermione sniffled and blinked back tears, finding herself incredibly touched by the overwhelming acceptance that this family was offering her, despite the pain that she had caused. Unable to fully express her gratitude, Hermione pulled the redhead into a tight hug "I love you, Gin. I love all of you so much."

Ginny's smile warmed even further as she returned the hug. "We love you too, Hermione."

The two witches talked for many more hours into the night, about various bits of everything. Hermione found herself opening up to her friend about the thoughts she'd had earlier about Daniel and their relationship when she'd locked herself in the bathroom. She confessed her confusion and concerns regarding the man's sudden changes as well as the changes that she'd only recently realized weren't really changes at all. She found herself confessing everything. Her reluctance to trust those she'd known for years. Her fears about the pregnancy and the child she would birth in just a few months' time.

Ginny listened patiently, offering words of comfort and/or advice when she felt it necessary. Ginny couldn't deny that she felt very pleased to be the one that Hermione would open up to. She'd known that much was said between her Mum and Hermione earlier that day. She was certain though that that conversation hadn't been quite as in depth as the one the two were currently having.

When Hermione had shown back up in their lives, Molly Weasley wasn't the only one to notice the changes in the young witch. Ginny had noticed as well but it wasn't until the older witch had begun to change in front of her that she realized the severity of her friend's suffering. When she'd fainted after being told of her pregnancy, Ginny swore to herself that she'd do whatever it took to help get her friend back on her feet.

At some point the conversation came to a sudden halt as sleep overtook the two women who, much like the week prior, fell asleep holding on tightly to one another. After such a long day following a very long week, Hermione found herself sleeping without the typical night terrors invading her dreams.

As tired and peaceful as she was in that moment, the realization never even came to her that the affectionate hug that she had shared with Ginny earlier that night was the very first time in nearly two years that she had instigated physical affections towards another person. Since that realization didn't settle, it went unnoticed the comparatively large step she had taken in her own healing.