AN: I wanted to give a shout out to Thewookie1! Thanks for sharing your theory. I truly appreciated it. Also did anyone catch that reference in Chapter 2?
Chapter 3: Rich People Like Buying Mountains
"Dipper, for the last time, a heart attack for an old person isn't suspicious," Mabel argued tiredly from the back seat.
"Mabel, he wasn't old. He was 35!" Dipper argued.
"Right, old."
"Hey now," Grunkle Stan interrupted. "Watch what you're saying in front of your employer or you might find yourself fired."
"You promise?" Dipper smiled. "Gosh, 35 is super duper old, right Mabel?"
"That's what I'm saying!"
"Okay, I lied, next person to call 35 old gets extra, extra chores."
Dipper grumbled. "Look, all I'm saying is that he was too young to have a heart attack."
"I don't know. If I had to deal with over a hundred teenagers for my job I might have a heart attack just to get out of it," Grunkle Stan offered.
"We have to go to the hospital and talk to Mr. Riegner. He was only 35, Mabel-"
"You keep saying that, Dipper."
"I know, but when we saw him, he looked at least 55. You saw him talk to your Bio teacher, you said he didn't have the wrinkles or grey hair then. He couldn't have acquired those in only five hours, Mabel."
"He's in a coma, Dipper. We can't talk to him."
"But why is he in a coma? What happened to him?" Dipper pressed.
Grunkle Stan put the car in park out in front of the school. "Dipper, Mabel, I know you can take care of yourselves...well Mabel can, but I don't want you two digging into this mystery. There are somethings that are in the dark for a reason and bringing them to light isn't always the right choice."
"Wait, what do you mean by that?" Dipper asked.
"Your mother called," Stan informed the twins trying to change the subject. Neither twin spoke for a long moment.
"Is grandma-"
"No. She's not dea-gone, honey. Your mom just wanted to check in to see how your first day went. I left out the whole finding a man comatose on the floor thing. She sends her love."
"Thanks," Dipper said, "for keeping out the comatose teacher, I mean."
"Yeah, well, can't have her calling CPS on me, now can I?" Stan grumbled.
"We love you too, Grunkle Stan." Mable smiled. "Oh, by the way, I invited some kids to the Shack later."
"That's my girl." Stan wiped a fake tear from his eye.
"Now, say you love me," Mabel instructed.
"Never."
"Don't worry. I'll wear ya down," Mabel assured him.
"Come on, Mabel, we're going to be late," Dipper sighed.
"What? You want to get to class and see Pacifica?" Mabel teased.
"What? No!" Dipper exclaimed.
"Wait that little blonde haired princess that wears too much makeup?" Grunkle Stan asked. "Dipper's got a thing for her?"
"NO!" Dipper shut the door loudly behind him.
Mabel laughed following after him. When she reached her brother she turned back around to Stan. "Blink once if ya love me!"
Stan kept his eyes open until they reached the schools gate. "Darn it."
"Hah! Works every time," Mabel called to him.
"That doesn't count!"
"Does too! Bye Grunkle Stan." Mabel waved at him as the twins entered into the school.
"Mabel, come on. You have to admit a man aging in the matter of a few hours is definitely something that belongs in the journal."
"Dipper, didn't you hear Grunkle Stan? He doesn't want us looking into this."
"Which mean there is obviously something going on."
"Alright. Alright. You got me. I agree. It is weird," Mabel relented.
"Good. Then tonight we break in and search room 618."
"I don't think we're going to find anything, Dipper. If there was anything left behind it's gone by now."
Dipper sighed. "You're probably right. We should talk about this at the shack." Dipper looked around pointedly.
"Sounds good, Dipper. I'll see you at break."
"See you at break." Dipper made his way to his locker retrieving his chemistry book before walking to class. His mind swirled with thoughts on what could make someone age so quickly, he completely forgot about Pacifica until she was sitting next to him.
She scooted her chair all the way towards the end of the lab bench and continued to ignore him, which was just fine by Dipper. Mr. Crawford walked in at 8:20 am on the dot.
"Today we will be discussing your big Midterm project that is due in nine weeks. Now I know that seems like it's far away but, trust me when I say that date creeps up fast. Every year I have at least one pair of lab partners fail because they did their project at the last minute." He eyed the room critically as if searching for the procrastinators amongst them. "There are several things to turn in before the big project is even due," Mr. Crawford explained to the class. He rummaged in his briefcase pulling out a stack of papers. "Mr. McMann, please hand these out to the rest of the class," he called to Jonathan.
He quickly took the papers and passed them out to all 14 lab benches, making sure to say hi to Dipper, before returning the extras and returning to his seat.
"On here are the dates everything is due. As you can see, choosing what your project will be on is due tomorrow." The class groaned. Mr. Crawford continued. "If you do not have a project chosen by 8:20 am tomorrow morning, I will choose one for you."
"That sounds better than coming up with one," someone murmured in the back.
"If I am forced to choose one for you, Mr. Giovanni, it will be a college level project and your grade will already be docked 15%." The kid who had spoken turned red. "Now getting back to your assignment. In two weeks, you and your partner will make a list of chemicals you will require to proceed with your project so that I may obtain them for you. Three weeks after that, I require a physical prototype, whether it be a creation or written out hypothesis, before I give you the chemicals. If I believe you're on the right track and your chemistry is accurate, I will then give you the chemicals. By then you should only have to follow your prototype and your finished project will be due at the end of the nine weeks. You may change your project up until you hand me the list of materials needed. You may discuss with your partner some ideas now. Look in your chemistry books for inspiration or you can look at the list of projects done by students in the past on the back of the paper I just gave you."
The class erupted into chatter. Dipper turned to Pacifica. They looked at each other awkwardly in silence. Dipper broke first."You want to look at what the past students have already done?"
"No. I'm a trendsetter, not a follower. We can't do a project that anyone has done before," Pacifica said.
"Okay. Fine then. Do you have any ideas in that peroxided brain of yours?"
Pacifica scowled at him. "Can't you get some new material?"
"Is that a challenge?"
"Five more minutes of discussion and then you'll have to figure it out on your time," Mr. Crawford announced to the class.
"Okay, obviously we're never going to agree on something in five minutes. Why don't I just come over to your Grunkle's tonight and we can figure it out, then. I have a feeling we'll need all the time we can get if you're going to be so argumentative." Pacifica turned up her nose.
"Me? You're the one-wait- what? No! I can't tonight."
"What do you mean you 'can't?' This is our grade, Dipper. I am not allowing my grade to drop to a 'B' because you're busy. We have to figure this out by tonight."
"I told you I can't," Dipper said stubbornly. "Why can't we just meet during lunch?"
"Because I don't want to be seen talking to you, duh. What do you have to do that is more important to you than our grade?" She looked at him suspiciously then her eyes widened in comprehension. "Wait. Is there something going on that I should know about that would put my life in danger? Again?"
"What? No! Why would you think that?" Dipper lied pathetically.
"Oh, I don't know, maybe because every time you and your 'colorful' sister come around me I have a life threatening experience."
"It's nothing like that. I just have to...to uh, shave my sister's pig tonight," Dipper floundered.
Pacifica gaped at him. "Dipper, I don't even- what am I supposed to say to that?"
"I'll figure something out by tomorrow so you don't have to worry about it," Dipper assured her.
"Weren't you the one that kept going on and on about me pulling my own weight? I'm not letting you decide by yourself the fate of our project." Pacifica folded her arms unamused.
"Why don't we do it right before class tomorrow then?" he suggested.
"No. We wouldn't have enough time. I'm coming over to your hovel and we're going to figure out an amazing, A+, grand prize winning, scholarship earning, science project. You got it?"
"Fine. Come over after school."
"I have tennis after school. How about after seven?" Pacifica asked.
"No. Either after school or before school tomorrow morning. If you're keeping me from-shaving Waddles, then I get to keep you from tennis."
Pacifica glared at him.
Dipper looked back unfazed.
"Ugh! Fine, Dipper. After school," she relented.
"Okay class. Time is up. Let's talk about the Periodic Table," Mr. Crawford announced.
And if Dipper stole chances to make faces at Pacifica while he took notes, and Pacifica took chances to glare at Dipper, no one else noticed.
"Wait. Hold on there. I'm only in charge of two teenagers," Grunkle Stan said as Mabel, Dipper, and Pacifica all climbed into the El Diablo. "And I'm counting one, two, three. One of ya is gonna have to march right back out of this car. I honestly don't care which one, I only need two of ya."
"Pacifica rudely invited herself over so we could figure out our Chemistry Project," Dipper explained.
"It's not like I want to have to go to your little shack, Dipper. We have to come up with a brilliant project by tonight or we'll get nothing better than an 85% and that is unacceptable."
"And you can't decide this over the phone?" Stan asked.
Pacifica blushed minutely, only seen by Mabel, "If we do it over the phone he'd just hang up on me."
"She's not wrong," Dipper agreed.
"Come on, Grunkle Stan, can't you see. Pacifica has to come over," Mabel begged.
"Mabel, I told you honey, no, you can not have another pet at the shack. Aren't Waddles and Dipper enough?"
"I'm right here," Dipper grumbled.
"Please?" Mabel gave Stan the patented Mabel Puppy Dog Look.
"I-oh, all right." Stan finally started the car and started to make his way back to the Mystery Shack. "I could always use the extra child labor- I mean volunteer work around the Shack."
"Excuse me what? Labor?" Pacifica asked incredulous.
"Don't worry about it, Pacifica. It's not hard. Trust me. This is going to be fun!" Mabel assured her.
"Why do I highly doubt that?" Pacifica asked.
"You're the one who wanted to come over," Dipper reminded her.
"Yeah, and I knew I'd regret that, I just didn't know how much."
"You just wait. Mabel has ways of making even the most boring tasks fun," Mabel assured her.
"And I like to wear polyester," Pacifica snarked.
"That's great! I can make you a sweater." Mabel smiled. Mabel continued to talk about the kind of material and what pattern she'd use for Pacifica's sweatshirt the rest of the way.
Finally they reached the shack.
"Okay kids, you know the rules. Get your chores done and then, if you have time, see about doing your homework," Stan explained.
"Yes, number one boss!"Mabel saluted him.
"Sure," Dipper rolled his eyes.
"He wasn't kidding?" Pacifica gaped.
"About free labor? Never. Mabel's in charge," Stan said. "I have a group in fifteen, gotta find my eyepatch." Stan walked back up to the shack as the three teenagers stared after him.
"He can't be serious," Pacifica said.
"Oh, he's serious," Dipper assured her.
"It's not that hard, Pacifica. We just have to straighten out the gift shop by putting the most expensive things at children's eye level or breaking level, clean the bathroom, make sure all the 'mysteries' are still glued together, and most importantly make sure all the tags on the merchandise are too small to read," Mabel explained.
"Yeah, there is no way I am doing any of those things," Pacifica said.
"If you want to get to our Chemistry project any time soon so you can leave, I'd suggest you'd help out," Dipper warned.
"Come on, Pacifica." Mabel took her by the hand leading her towards the front entrance. "We'll go to the gift shop and let Dipper do the bathroom."
"What? No! I did the bathrooms last time!" Dipper complained.
"What? I can't hear you, Dipper! We're too far away," Mabel called.
Dipper grumbled his way to the bathroom. When he finished he went to the gift shop finding the girls gluing some of the attractions back together.
"And people really buy into this stuff?" Pacifica asked Mabel.
"Yep." Mabel popped her 'p'. "But you of all people should know, there are real mysteries especially here in Gravity Falls."
"I swear it only happens during the summer," Pacifica complained.
"Then how do you explain Mr. Regnier?" Mabel asked.
"Wow, Mabel what are you talking about? It was just a heart attack. So Pacifica, I'm guessing we should get started on our project now." Dipper interrupted.
"Dipper, you're the one that kept bugging me about how suspicious his coma was and now you're saying it was natural?" Mabel asked.
"Mabel! Otnay niay rontfay foay hetay londebay." Dipper motioned to Pacifica with his head.
"Dipper, literally everyone knows pig latin." Pacifica rolled her eyes. "But at least you got the blonde part right this time."
"Yeah well…" Dipper faltered unable to come up with a comeback.
"Look, I don't care about your little journal. As long as I'm not in any danger." Pacifica flipped her hair.
"Does becoming really old and being put in a coma you may never wake up from count as in danger?" Mabel asked.
"What?!"
"Mabel!"
"What?" She asked.
"I told you we'd talk about this after the Seawitch left. Obviously," he gestured toward Pacifica, "she's still here."
"Hold on there, Shortie, I have a right to know what is going on," Pacifica demanded.
"I thought you didn't care, Pacifica?" Dipper shot back.
"I don't! I just don't want you to be the cause of my premature death."
"Well, now, we're just wanting completely different things again," Dipper snarked.
"Ugh! Just tell me. It's not like I haven't been involved in Gravity Falls Weirdness before. I even saved you two before, remember?" Pacifica reasoned.
"We're here to work on our Chemistry project. That's it," Dipper said stony faced.
"Fine. Whatever you losers do on your own time is your business." Pacifica rolled her eyes. "Not like I actually cared about it anyway."
"Mabel, we're going to go upstairs. Can you man the gift shop?" Dipper asked his sister not waiting for a response as he went into their attic bedroom. Pacifica followed a few steps behind him. Dipper sat on his bed, and motioned to Pacifica to sit on Mabel's.
"So, is there anything you want to concentrate on for the project?" Dipper asked.
"I've heard Crawford prefers his students to create rather than observe or test a theory," Pacifica explained. "So, maybe we create something that will solve a problem everyone has using chemistry."
"Okay, that's,- that's actually a good point. Do you happen to have any ideas on what problem we should solve?"
"Do I have to come up with everything?" Pacifica asked.
"Fine...what about we create a battery that doesn't die?"
"Don't be dumb. Nothing runs on replaceable batteries anymore."
"Thats not even remotely true. How did- you know what? I don't care. Let's hear your oh so brilliant idea if mine is so stupid," Dipper challenged.
"What if we create a solution that safely cleans the oceans and it's creatures after an oil spill?" she offered.
"Pacifica, as you so painfully pointed out yesterday, this is high school! I don't think even a college student could pull that off. Plus it'd be way too expensive. Oh wait, I forgot who I'm talking to. I'm sure you've never heard that phrase before."
"It's not like I couldn't buy the chemicals myself, but whatever. What about skiing?"
"Skiing's not exactly Chemistry, but good try," Dipper said condescendingly.
"I know that! I meant what does everyone complain about when they go to their ski mansions?" Pacifica asked.
"There's too many poor people on the mountain, let's buy it?"
"No...well yes...but no. That their hand warmers don't last long enough and aren't easily reheated!"
"So we figure out a chemical reaction that would allow the hand warmers to be not only longer lasting but reheated without power." Dipper stood up and began pacing the room.
"Yes. Maybe by someway using the owners own body heat?" Pacifica offered as she too stood up.
"That could work! We'd have to do a lot of research but that's a really good idea, Pacif-" Dipper and Pacifica stopped in the middle of the room as they both walked into each other.
"S-sorry." Dipper blushed.
"Wa-watch where you're walking. This room is smaller than my closet." Pacifica turned to hide a blush of her own. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and then Mabel stuck her head in.
"So… how's it goin'?" she asked with a wide smile.
Dipper raised an eyebrow at his sister. "Since when did you start knocking on the door to enter a room?"
Mabel's grin widened. "Oh...I don't know...just...you know... just in case."
"Just in case of what?" Dipper asked confused.
"You'll find out for yourself later." Mabel grinned.
"Why are you here?" Dipper asked annoyed.
Mabel's smile fell. "I just thought you should know. The school just called. There's been another victim of a 'heart attack' that caused them to slip into a coma."
"What? Who?" Dipper asked.
"It was a student this time."