March 28 7:07 PM
After a long day at work and trying to come to the realization of being pregnant, Olivia sat down playing with Noah and his blocks. She was happy to be able to have the chance to nurture a life from the very beginning, to be able to give selfless love and to have the opportunity to be the mother to yet another person. Noah was a handful but he brought a joy to her life like no other. She couldn't help but have a nervousness around the fact that she would be raising two kids at her age, but that was her reality. She had Bryan to help out now but couldn't help but to question where their relationship really stood,he didn't even meet Noah yet. She was aware at the fact they loved each other but Bryan and kids was something that you rarely ever put in the same sentence. She wondered if he was truly happy and open to accepting and raising not one, but two children. She knew that Noah was not his issue but she hoped that he knew that Noah, her and their unborn child would be a deal package. She had just gotten into the groove of juggling being a single mother and being head of the squad and then Bryan reentered her life and threw everything off its track. Olivia hoped she wouldn't regret her decision of allowing him to reenter her life.
She looked into the eyes of Noah and was amazed at how much love you can have for another human being, questioning how her mother couldn't love her the same but yet understood her struggle. She loved to watch Noah for he had such an eagerness and wonder for the world and she couldn't wait to help nurture him into being all that he can be and to nurture the new life that was growing inside of her.
"Mama would love to play more with you Noah, but its time for dinner." She said as she got up from the floor and put him in the high chair.
"What do you want? Does Mac and cheese sound good?"
Noah smiled up at Olivia "Chee!" he babbled back at her.
"Yes, cheese." she laughed
As Olivia walked on over to the stove to dish out Noah's food there was a knock at her door.
"Who could that be interrupting dinner time Noah?" She said as she walked over to the door and looked through the peephole.
Olivia opened the door and in an instant her mood changed. "Nick.."
"Hey Liv...mind if I come in?"
She opened the door wider for him and walked back over to the kitchen to continue attending to Noah's needs.
"How's little man doing?" he said trying to ease into a conversation with her.
"Noah is fine, but I rather you stop beating around the bush and just say what you have to say." Olivia then paused realizing how harsh she sounded then looked over at him.
"Sorry." She breathed out, "It's just been a confusing couple of days for me... I've actually been doing a lot of apologizing lately..." she rambled.
"Liv I-"
"Actually do you mind if we talk after I put him in bed?"
"No that's fine... I'll just help you clean up." He said offering a half baked smile.
She offered Nick a half baked smile in return knowing that they would have to talk about the words they exchanged earlier in her office.
Nick started picking up the toys clearing the floor but couldn't help but to look over his shoulder and smile as Liv was feeding Noah and how she was making airplane and train noises to encourage the little boy to eat. He knew something was a little off with her and he just knew Cassidy had something to do with it. Nick wondered how could he relay his concern without sounding so judgmental and yet have her know that she can come to him with anything.
Oliva was done feeding Noah and Nick walked over to her.
"Noah say buh-bye to Uncle Nick" she said passing him over to Amaro while she wiped his face clean.
Noah babbled a few incoherent words while Olivia took him back and said "Just give me a couple of minutes to give him his bath and get him settled down,the remote is on top of the coffee table."
Olivia leaves the room carrying Noah on her hip and turns into the bedroom while Nick starts to pace back and forth wondering how to even talk to Olivia and get everything off his chest.
8:12 PM
Olivia exits the bedroom after she got Noah to sleep and closes the door behind her. She goes over to the kitchen and wants to so badly to grab a glass of wine and unwind but consciously grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and settles into a corner on the couch.
"So Nick...about earlier..." She says while looking down at the water and nervously peeling off the paper.
" Yeah, Liv I'm sorry about that." he takes a seat next to her and stares at the blank television screen.
" No, No I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have brought that stuff up with Maria, or throw in your face that I knew about you and Rollins and just-"
"Liv I know I can get really overprotective sometimes, it's just that I care."
" I know that you care and I know I sounded pretty ungrateful before but I'm thankful for that...it's just you always hated Bryan from day one. You and the squad, are my family, no matter what. You're the only family I've had and known for so long but I'm just trying to establish a life outside of that. I knew about you and Rollins for a while. I had an incline about it but didn't want to really say anything unless it got in the way of things. Someone in our squad deserves to be happy."
" Stop Liv. I know Amanda and I were wrong for getting together and I'm sorry for not disclosing but we aren't even sure what our relationship is."
"Yeah, I understand that a little to well." She sadly laughs
"I just came over here to clear the air and see how you're doing. You seem kinda..."
"Kinda what?"
" I don't know...scattered."
" I seem scattered?" She scoffs
"Yeah and I can't help but think it has something to do with Cassidy."
" Nick." She rolls her eyes and sighs " Again I am thankful that you have my back but honestly Bryan and my relationship is none of your business. Yes things are a little complicated right now with us... but when I'm willing to share that information with you I will. I'm just not ready to tell you right now."
" I can accept that answer. It's your life Liv, I just don't want you to forget that you don't have to face your problems alone."
"Well it is what I'm used to, but I hear you Nick."
"No don't say that...And you know Rollins isn't so bad. I know she had the whole gambling incident but she was the one who encouraged me to come talk to you tonight?"
"Really?"vs he says a little stunned
"Yeah she said just be open to listening to you and...to stop being so judgmental about Cassidy." He laughs
"Hmm remind to thank her... She say anything else?" She asks hoping that Rollins didn't mention to Amaro about their little run in in the bathroom.
"No, not really...was she supposed to?" He laughs again
"No...no." She tries to laugh back
She shifts uncomfortably on the couch
"You ok Liv?"
"Just a little queasy since lunch." She says while holding her hand to her face.
"Here,drink some of your water." Amaro says as then hands her the bottle she was previously fidgeting with. She takes a couple of sips and screws back on the cap.
" Did the water help a little."
"Yeah... sorta. I guess that Chinese I got for lunch wasn't that good after all." she lies
"I'm gonna go alright, you go get some rest... And Liv?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for hearing me out...See you tomorrow?"
"Yeah I will probably feel better then, night Nick..Thanks again."
"Feel better Liv."
They both walk over to the door and as soon as she closes the door behind him she runs to the bathroom and empties all of the contents in her stomach and is now dry heaving with her head over the toilet bowl. She flushes the toilet and gives it a quick clean. She walks over to the sink giving her mouth a few rinses and just decides that she might as well brush them and try to get some sleep. She changes into her pajamas and washes the days makeup off. She stares at her reflection in the mirror and can't believe how drained she looks and knows that she has a long couple months ahead of her.
9:23 PM
Olivia checks on Noah really quick then crawls into bed knowing she has an early morning. She pulls the cover over herself she lays there thinking "If Nick thought something was up before, he definitely knows now. I don't want Rollins carrying this secret with her for too long so I'm going to have to talk to her...soon. At least Bryan knows about this baby and he seems to be committed. I just have to remember to take things one step at a time."
Just before she closes her eyes to sleep her phone chimes with a text.
She reaches over to the night stand and sees that it is a text from Bryan.
[ I can't wait to embark on this journey of parenthood with you. Honestly I really am excited about this baby. I know I don't say much but I'm here for the long run, I'm not going anywhere.]
Olivia cant help but to smile and replies back.
[ I wish you were this lovey dovey with me all the time. This baby would have been baking in the oven a long time ago lol.]
[ haha very funny Liv ]
[ I'm just teasing ]
[Either way you cant resist my good looks Liv ]
[ And this baby is already making me sick :( ]
[ How about tomorrow I pick you up from work and treat you? Ya know, bring over your favorite soup from that cafe, give you a sensual massage with that weird exotic oil you love ;) ]
[ Thats sounds perfect but don't have you're heart set out on getting lucky lol]
[ Every minute I spend with you I feel incredibly lucky]
[ You really are laying it on thick lol]
[ Just letting you know I'm not going anywhere]
[ Good cuz I wasn't going to let you, but I have an early morning so I'm gonna catch some sleep]
[ Sweet dreams Liv, I love you babe.]
[ Love you too, sleep tight]
And with those last messages received she smiled off into dreamland thinking and hoping that things would be looking up from here.
And that maybe just maybe her luck just might changing.
A/N:Wow, well that was a longgggg day. Benson still has to talk to Rollins in the next chapter and I think that its time that Bryan finally met Noah, right?
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