A/N: Sorry for the long wait. Might not be updating as frequently but I promise I will not abandon this story. Read on and don't forget to review!

11:15 AM, Dr. Lindstrom's Office

"So what brings you here today Olivia" Dr. Lindstrom asked.

Olivia sat across from Dr. Lindstrom on the opposite couch. She wasn't exactly planning on seeing him today but after her doctors appointment she gave him a quick call and asked if he had an opening. She felt that it was best to sort out her feelings before she was with Bryan for the rest of the day, she didn't know if she would be able to handle that.

"From the last time I saw you, a lot." letting out a huge sigh.

"Define a lot for me Olivia"

"A lot as in...I'm with Bryan again." she says with some hesitance.

"Well the last time we had talked about Bryan you told me that you and him had broken things off because he didn't want to have any kids."

"Yeah...he didn't want children, but I think he was just scared, you know. We both have a problem with commitment and because of our jobs we have seen what evil this world has to offer and I guess he didn't want to bring a child into this world knowing that."

"I'm hearing you use words like 'I think' and 'I guess', did you talk to Bryan about how he actually feels?"

"I kinda had no choice in the matter."she says looking down

"No choice? Can you elaborate what you mean by that?"

"I have Noah now. We're a package deal and I made that clear to him, he is actually great with Noah."

"But..."

"But on top of that I also found out that I was pregnant...with his child."

"Congratulations Olivia."

"Yea...thanks." she says as her eyes start welling with tears.

"Sorry. Is this not good news Olivia? I know you have Noah now but you talked about wanting to experience pregnancy for yourself."

"No don't get me wrong, this baby is amazing news." letting out an awkward laugh. "I love Noah as if he were my own flesh and blood but...being pregnant that is a whole other story. It's not like I'm with Bryan because I found out I was pregnant or anything like that. We love each other."

"This is a huge step in you're relationship with Bryan. It is new territory for the both of you."

"The both of us talked about this though, about how scared we both are...but I'm mostly afraid about losing this baby. I mean it's a high risk pregnancy. I put off starting a family and now I'm so old that this baby and I can have some serious complications."

"Olivia, many women are deciding to have children later on in life and they carry their babies out to full term, and raise beautiful healthy children."

"Yea I get that..." A tear slides down her face

"Is there another reason why you feel so afraid? You're safe here Olivia."

"I know...it's just I never told anyone this before, not even Bryan knows."

"Well keeping something from a loved one can be very stressful"

Dr. Lindstrom hands Olivia some tissue as the tears keep running down her face.

"I mean I've dealt with it in the best way I know how and maybe I should have told him what happened at the time. I don't want us to break up or him to leave me because I kept this from him, among other things..."

"Why do you feel like Bryan would leave you?"

"Everyone else does." she says continuing to look at the floor.

Dr. Lindstrom opens his mouth to respond "Olivia you-"

She cuts him off now looking up at him, "Before you say anything, just listen. My own alcoholic of a mother never really even loved me. My rapist of a father, that bastard knew I existed and tried to make contact with me and he ended up committing suicide. Elliot the only consistent man in my life who I trusted left me without so much of a note. For crying out loud all my ex's and I never really clicked, most of the time it was purely just sex, and the ones that claimed they would stick around never did. Before Bryan and I even became serious, all we ever really used to do was have sex, our relationship was basically friends with benefits. It was like a co-dependence. I mean, like I became pregnant because it was a one-night stand with him, we weren't even together at the time." she rambles out.

"Olivia slow down. Breathe. In and out. Can you do that for me?"

She takes a deep breathe in and exhales, repeating this three times.

"Olivia, though the past shapes us into who we are, we are not defined by it. I want you to focus on right now, on all the good in your life. You have your squad, who's like family to you. You have Noah who drastically changed your life for the better, a baby on the way and you have Bryan. If you are willing to open up to him I believe that it will be a step in the right direction."

"Yeah...I think so too."she faintly whispers out.

"Olivia, I know it will be hard but just explain to him how you feel, give him the opportunity to understand whatever the situation is instead of assuming how he would feel, he may surprise you."

1:45 PM , Benson Residence

The ride back home was awkward and felt longer an usual. When they got into the apartment Olivia thanked Lucy for watching Noah then Bryan sat down and played with him for a bit then after Olivia fed him some lunch. When it was time for Noah's nap he made no fuss at all and fell right to sleep.

"Liv..."Bryan called out her name.

Olivia stood in the kitchen washing dishes while Bryan laid on the couch holding a sleeping Noah.

"Yeah Bryan?"she says trying to hold back tears.

"I'm gonna go put little man down in his crib, alright?"

"Alright." She replies back as her voice breaks.

Bryan arrives back from the bedroom holding the baby monitor and leaves Noah's bedroom door slightly ajar. He walks over to Olivia placing both of his hands on either side of her shoulders, Massaging her and kneading his hands into her aching back muscles.

"Your so tense Liv, I'll clean these up later. You should go and lay down."

She turns off the pipe and Bryan hears her sniffle,she wipes her tears away as they run down her cheek.

"You ok Liv?"

She turns around to face him. Her face is red and damp from crying. She shakes her head no then Bryan pulls her into a hug. He kisses the side of her head then takes her hand in his, guiding her over to the couch.

"Whatever is bothering you Liv, you can't keep this bottled up. Talk to me."

"I can't."

"Why can't you Liv? Is this about the baby, about what the doctor said?

She nods her head yes, "Part of it."

"Liv I'm not going anywhere. You can talk to me." He says cupping her face.

Liv turns her face out of his hold. "It isn't just about this baby." She takes a deep breath in and gets up from the couch wiping her tears away.

She looks back down at a confused Bryan "I want to be able to be honest with you...about everything. I just never had anyone who cares enough about me to listen to my problems. Part of me trusts you and the other part of me feels like you're going to leave me."

Her rises up from the couch to hold her but she takes a step back. " Liv... "

"No, everyone says that they aren't gonna leave and that is exactly what they ending up doing."

"I'm not everyone."

"Exactly. You leaving me would be so much worse. I don't know what I would do."

Bryan reaches out for her arm to still her pacing. "Stop. I'm not going anywhere. Just talk to me... C 'mon lets sit back down please, breathe."

She sits back down and as she relaxes her breathing evens back out.

"I'm sorry."

"Liv stop, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"Yes I do... I need you to hear me out. No interruptions , ok?"

"Ok yeah, what is it?"

She maneuvers her body to one end of the couch and she brings her knees up to her chest while Bryan sits hunched over on the opposite end with his head tilted slightly towards her.

"Remember when I took that pregnancy test a while back,last January, and it ended up being negative."

Bryan nods his head yes.

Olivia continues on saying " Well I called you and you were so relieved that I wasn't pregnant but I felt so defeated. We wanted different things and we did eventually ended up breaking up that March...and we also ended up sleeping together that night... but I never regretted that."

"Liv where are you going with this?"

She continues on ignoring his question "In April... Lewis got out...and I didn't...when I...when he...ummm."

"Slow down Liv, breathe. It's ok."

"No it's not ok. Just let me get this out."

"Sorry, go ahead..."

"I was pregnant."

"Was?" Bryan says completely stunned

"I found out when I went to the hospital... after they found me and the little girl Amelia but the whole stress of Lewis, of what he did to me, almost did to me... again...I ended up ummm..."

"You ended up losing the baby?"

She nods her head yes. "I didn't tell anyone ok. It was just another thing Lewis had taken away from me...and I..."

"You what? Couldn't or didn't want to tell me? Just be honest with me for once."

"Seriously?" she said increasing in anger "Listen, I'm trying to do that right now. I want things to be different between us. I am trying to be honest with my feelings here."

She gets up from the couch wiping her tears away with the back of her hand and starts nervously pacing.

"Liv..."

"Stop. Don't Liv me!"

" I'm just trying to wrap my head around all this. I'm not even sure what to feel or say, if anything I'm hurt."

"I was going to tell you that I was pregnant but as soon as I got the courage to it was too..."

"Late."

"Yea, then I got Noah and my life didn't suck as much anymore, you know. You didn't want kids anyways so I thought what was the point in telling you and letting you grieve over something when both of us had already went our separate ways. I just don't want anymore secrets between us."

"But we talked after you got out of the hospital, you should have told me then."

"I could have done and should have done a lot of things..."

Olivia walks back and forth rubbing her stomach and is breathing in and out way to hard. Bryan starts becoming increasingly anxious.

"Liv you don't look so good, how about you sit back down while I go get you some water."

Before Bryan can even walk off to the kitchen Olivia started gagging and immediately rushed of into the bathroom. Bryan runs off behind her and finds her on the bathroom floor with her head over the toilet.

He crouches down beside her holding her hair up for her and rubbing her back.

She flushes the toilet bowl once she feels like she has a hold on her self again and he pulls her into an embrace.

"I bet you're wondering, what have a I gotten myself into huh ?"

"No not all. I'm wondering how such a beautiful, caring, loving, woman like you can love a man like me. I'm wondering how did I get so lucky with such an incredibly strong independent woman."

"Thanks for saying that." She says as she holds onto him a little bit tighter.

"No need to thank me. Look Liv, I love how independent you are but you do not have to do this alone. I am committed to you, this child, and Noah. I'm sorry that you had to go through that alone and you felt like you couldn't tell me. "

"Move back in with me."

"What?" Bryan says completely shocked as he pulls away from the hug.

"You sleep here all the time anyways, just move back in with me."

"I don't think we should make that decision right now." he says starting to stand back up.

"You can just say no, you know."

"Liv it's not that it's just..."

"Just what?" she angrily replies back.

"Maybe we should make this decision tomorrow, after we both have had some time to think about this, about us. We already had what feels like a long day. How bout you take a nap, I'll listen out for Noah, clean up a bit."

"I have a better idea how about you go do whatever it is that you do, Noah and I will be just fine."

"Liv..."

"We'll be fine...just go."

"No I'm not leaving."

"Well then get the hell out of the bathroom! I want to be alone!"

As soon as he steps out of the bathroom Olivia slams the door very hard behind him.

She slides down the door and immediately and starts sobbing.

10 pm

The rest of the day continued on in silence.

Bryan made dinner while Olivia had locked herself in the bathroom majority of the time but eventually came out when she heard Noah getting fussy.

When dinner was ready the three of them ate in silence. She gave Noah a bath and put him down to sleep.

Surprisingly Bryan was still there. After he had finished cleaning up the dinner dishes he knocked on the door and entered the bedroom while Olivia laid down on her side facing the wall.

"I'm gonna head out now. I cleaned up a bit, checked on Noah and he's out like a light. Maybe we just need some space from each other right now. I don't know, I'll text you when I get home. Goodnight Liv. I love you."

Bryan turns around to leave but then Olivia sits up in the bed and calls out to him "Bryan, wait. Don't go."

Bryan stills his movements and lingers in the doorway waiting to hear her out.

"I don't want to blame my hormones but I have been all over the place today and taking out all my anger on you."

"Go on..." Bryan moves over to Olivia and takes a seat on the bed.

"I know that you love me and I love you too. I do want you to move back in with me but you're right to not want to rush into that decision. We did that before and look how well that turned out."

"Liv I feel like with us it's always one step forward and two steps back with us. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong when all I do is care about you."

"I know and that's my fault. I never open up to you but I decided I want to tell you about Lewis."

"You don't have to do that Liv." he says taking a hold of her hand.

"No, I want to. I realized that I was protecting myself. I want you to know, to understand. But just maybe not tonight ok."

"You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do."

"Can you just stay tonight...please."

"I can do that."he says as he starts stripping down to his undershirt and boxers.

He lays down on the bed with her and she cuddles into his side.

"Bryan?"

"Yea?"

"We're gonna get through this right?"

"We got this babe, one day at a time alright." Bryan gave Olivia a kiss on her forehead and she snuggles closer towards him.

Bryan didn't know what the future held but one thing he knew for sure was that he loved this woman and he wasn't going to let anything get in between them and their family, not this time.