Memories flashed idly through my mind as I wandered aimlessly through the darkness. The good, the bad...the ones I wish I could forget… They say your life flashes before your eyes when you're about to die. Has my time come after so short a time on this earth? Heh. I wouldn't be surprised. My life has been one fuck-over after another.

"...Damn brat! If I ever see your face again, I'll string you up by your thumbs for the kneazles to feed on!"She screeched in drunken rage. I jumped back when a fire-whiskey bottle broke at my feet. As I backed away slowly, my mother; or rather, the woman I had called my mother, began muttering to herself.

"Damn Black had to go and saddle me with such a useless brat...lucky he's a pureblood, or I'd have killed him...not sully the Nara family name..." That was all I could hear, but it was enough.

My mother never loved me.

My mother kicked me out of her home when I was four; almost five years old. It was a bitter victory for me, but it was a victory. She never loved me. She drank often, and her husband wasn't much better when he found out I wasn't actually his son. He was verbally abusive, often shouting profanities in our native tongue, and would hit me for almost anything. He was insulted to have a child with British blood in his home, and he made sure I knew it. I was glad to be away from there.

One of my mother's few kind acts was to allow me to take with me anything I could carry. I chose the amulet left to my mother by my real father, my passport, birth certificate, a kitten I'd hidden from my mother, and a knapsack with two changes of clothes and my favorite stuffed animal; a jackrabbit.

I made my way on the streets, getting money anywhere I could, then at my first opportunity, I snuck onto a ship bound for the states.

Little did I know how I'd be treated as a half Japanese child.

As I had nowhere to go, I remained on the streets, often mingling with children who'd been missed by the orphanages, and other times wandering alone, stealing when working for something was out of the question. I received more than a few beatings for my efforts over the weeks.

It was then, a few weeks after I arrived, I tried to steal from someone who changed my life; something I am, and will always be grateful for.

She was a soldier, oddly enough; with golden blond hair, piercing blue eyes, and a neutral expression on her pretty face. I followed her as she wove through the crowd, and as she stopped at a fruit stand, perusing the peaches, I casually walked by, snatching the wallet in her back pocket, then disappeared into the crowd again. I bought a tiny fish for my cat, then scrambled back to my little back-alley hideaway.

"So this is where you scampered off to."Came a voice. I jumped, ready to scram at a second's notice, when I got a look at who had found me. It was that woman. I slumped in defeat.

There was no way I'd be able to run from a soldier. Female or not.

"Watashi o kizutsukerunaide kudasai.(Please do not hurt me.)"I said, not knowing any English at the time. The woman looked mildly surprised.

"Watashi wa shimasen. Goryōshin dokode sa reru.(I will not. Where are your parents?)"She finally asked evenly, startling me with her perfect, if accented Japanese.

"Watashinohaha wa watashi o hōki shita. Watashi no yogoretachitaku arimasendeshi, to kanojo wa iimashita. (My mother abandoned me. She said she didn't want my 'dirty blood'.)"My tone took on a bitter edge, and she frowned, then seemed to make a decision. She leaned down toward me and offered a hand.

"Koko ni, anata ga haruka ni nagai na dorobō to shite no tsudzukanai. Anata wa watashitoisshoni kita baai, watashi wa anata ni hontō no ie o teikyō shimasu. Hontō no kazoku. Anata wa nani o itte imasu ka? (Out here, you will not last much longer as a thief. If you come with me, I will give you a real home. A real family. What do you say?)"Her question completely threw me off. A real family? I wouldn't have to steal anymore? I could learn English?

I hesitated before reaching for her hand, as if she would snatch it away and say it was all a joke. As I took her hand, she pulled me up from where I knelt and into her arms, settling me on her hip. I stiffened, then snuggled into her, shivering.

"Anata no namae, chīsana ichi wa nanidesu ka? (What is your name, little one?)"She asked gently. I said nothing, only pointed to where I had hidden my documents. She recovered them easily and deftly unfolded my birth certificate with one hand.

"Johnathan Tobias Alexander Black, born May 4th, 1950. Johnathan, huh? Well, that's a mouthful. I think I'll call you Jack. Anata wa, Jakku o dōomoimasuka? (What do you think, Jack?)"She asked me, a little smile lighting up her face.

"Īdesu ne… (Sounds good...)"I laid my head on her shoulder, suddenly tired.

A meow caught both of our attention. Hayate, my cat, stood staring at us, my jackrabbit stuffie in his mouth. With a little tinkling laugh, the woman, who later became known to me as 'the boss', knelt down. Hayate jumped up onto her shoulder, balancing with all of the grace of a parrot.

At peace for the first time in my life, I fell asleep in her arms, a tiny smile on my face.

Things began to look up from there. For some time, I was happy. The boss even adopted me; Gave me her name while I was a child. I still use her name to this day, even though the name on my records was reverted back to my birth name when I reached age eighteen.

Though all good things must come to an end. I was fourteen when things began to snowball downhill, and out of control.

"..But mother, why is it you that must take this assignment? Surely another operative would be just as suitable?"I asked her, following mere steps behind her as she gathered her uniform and supplies.

"The details of this mission were on a need-to-know basis, and apparently, I didn't need to know. And besides, Jack. You know that I am unable to refuse a mission."She explained calmly as she tied her hair back. I was still uneasy.

"I know, but something about this just rubs me the wrong way." I mumbled, half to myself.

I suddenly found myself wrapped in a warm hug, my head resting on her shoulder.

"I'll be fine, alright? You just keep up with your studies. Keep your current marks, and I'll have a surprise sent to you for your birthday, okay, honey?"Hesitantly, I released her as she let me go.

"Yes, mother."I agreed reluctantly. The pleased smile perked me up some and she ruffled my hair affectionately.

Thoroughly packed, she slid her coat on and shouldered her pack. I saw her off as she got into the cab after one last hug from her. As it sped down the street, I chased after it for a bit. Once it was far enough that I had no chance of catching it, I stood in the middle of thee deserted street, watching the tail-lights disappear around the corner a ways down, tears streaming silently down my face.

I kept up my grades as she asked of me. For my fifteenth birthday, she sent me an Irish flute made of ebony. Passing my exams at the end of my tenth grade year, she sent me an ebony guitar. I cherished them.

After my tenth grade year, Major Zero, the man my mother had left in charge of me while she was gone, signed me out of school, despite my protests, and signed me into the cadet program for the Green berets. I had never intended to become a soldier; but I had no choice in the matter.

Six months later; a record, apparently, I completed my training, and was welcomed as a private.

"...One of the youngest ever! Welcome to the United States Army, Private 2nd class Jack Hayès!" The Commander said proudly. An old man stood unnoticed in the background, smiling, yet with a smug glint in his eyes.

'Heheheh...Perfect! Things are moving along nicely! It's only a matter of time before my plans come into fruition.'

It was somewhere around this time when Jack was introduced to Cuban cigars; one of the few indulgences allowed to him by Zero.

Once I got used to things, I adapted. It turned out, my mother, or rather, The Boss, was responsible for developing the advanced CQC system utilized by the American military. It was a system based off of judo, and a few other martial arts styles all blended into one. It was one of the reasons I passed through training so quickly. As I lived and grew with The Boss, she taught me how to protect myself. How to hide, fight, and even kill if necessary. I never knew that she was teaching me rudimentary CQC as she was developing it.

Years passed, and before I knew it, I was coming up on my nineteenth birthday. I had long since stopped celebrating it, being too caught up in missions and such. I had lost contact with the boss just after I turned sixteen, so I didn't see any point.

September 1st, 1969. Major Zero's big break. The virtuous mission. In order for his "Fox Unit" to be established, I had to go in and extract a Russian rocket/weapons scientist who was seeking asylum in the states.

Imagine my surprise when, as I was being introduced to the radio support team, The boss is introduced along with them.

"Jack..? Is that you?"She asked, her voice incredulous, "How long has it been?" I was speechless. I was pretty sure my jaw was on the ground.

"Talk to me. Let me hear your voice."She almost implored.

"...Boss?" I asked reproachfully. She sighed.

"That's right. It's me."

I couldn't think of much to say. Not seeing or hearing from someone for so long will do that to a person.

"It's been five years, seventy-two days, and eighteen hours."I noted.

"How you've grown. You've… lost weight?"She asked.

"How can you tell, just from the sound of my voice?" I asked disbelievingly. She chuckled.

"I know all about you, my son. Of course I can tell." I frowned.

"Really."I deadpanned, "Well, it seems I don't know anything about you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"I could hear a touch of hurt in her voice. I felt a bit guilty, even though I probably shouldn't.

"Why did you disappear on me so suddenly?"I asked, sotto voce. She sighed tiredly, almost as if she'd expected that question.

"I was on a top secret mission." She explained, "You didn't need me anymore."

"But there was so much I still wanted to learn from you!"I started, my voice a low growl in my throat, "How can you say I didn't need you? You are...were my mother!"

"It was time for you to strike out on your own, Jack. An eagle does not remain a fledgling forever. I taught you all I could in the time we had together. The rest, you needed to learn on your own."Her voice grew softer; gentler as she explained, almost as if sensing my emotions.

"How to fight, sure. But what about how to think like a soldier?"

"How to think like a soldier? Why would you ask about such a thing? Last I knew, you didn't want anything to do with military life."She sounded confused now. I chuckled bitterly.

"You can thank Zero." She scoffed, but chose not to comment.

"I can't teach you how to think like a soldier. You see, a soldier needs to be strong in spirit, body, and technique; and the only thing you can learn from another is technique. In fact, Technique doesn't even matter. What truly makes the difference is Spirit! Spirit and Body are like two halves of the same whole. They're one entity. I cannot teach you how to think, Jack."She lectured, then paused as if to think carefully about her next words, "Listen to me. Just because soldiers are on the same sides now, doesn't mean they always will be. Having personal feelings toward your comrades is one of the worst sins you can commit. Politics determine whom your next enemy will be; and politics are a living thing. They change along with the times. Yesterday's hero, may be tomorrow's villain." My brow creased; slightly confused as to where she was going with this.

"Is that why you abandoned me?"

"No. It had nothing to do with you. I already told you, Jack. I was on a top secret mission. A soldier has to follow whatever orders they're given. It's not their place to question why. But you, Jack, are looking for a reason to fight. You're a natural fighter; but not quite a soldier. A soldier is a political tool. Nothing more. This is doubly true for a career soldier. Right and wrong have no place in his mission. He has no enemies, and no friends. Only the mission. You follow the orders given you. That's what being a soldier is."She lectured on, her tone serious. I scowled.

"I don't think about politics. I do whatever I need to in order to get the job done-"I started, only for The Boss to interrupt.

"That is not the same at all. Sooner or later, your conscience is going to get the better of you. One day, you're going to have to choose whether you're going to live as a soldier, or just another man with a gun."She sighed, finally calming down some, "There is a saying in the Orient. 'Loyalty to the End'. Do you know what it means?"She asked tiredly.

"Being...patriotic?"I asked, not getting the point at all.

"It means devoting yourself to your country."She stated.

"I'll follow the top brass. I'll die for them, if need be." I crossed my arms and leaned back against a tree.

"The President and the top brass won't be there forever. Once their terms are up, others will take their place."She argued. I ground my teeth.

"I follow the will of the leader. No matter who is in charge."I said finally.

"People are not the ones who dictate the missions."

"Then who does?"I asked.

"The times. People's values change over time. So do the leaders of a country. There is no such thing as an absolute ageless enemy. The enemies we fight are only our enemies in relative terms; constantly changing with the times. As long as we have 'Loyalty to the end', there is no point in believing in anything. Even in those we love."Here, the boss' voice sounded odd. Heavy.

"And that is the way a soldier is supposed to think?"I asked incredulously.

"The only thing we can believe in with absolute certainty… is the mission, Jack."

I didn't understand, then, but she was warning me in that subtle way of hers. Of course, being young and brash, I didn't realize it until it was too late. The trap was sprung.

"Boss, what is this?"I asked, hunched over, clutching my left arm. She'd dislocated my elbow when she disarmed me. This wasn't like her.

"I'm defecting to the Soviet Union. Jack, you can't come with us."She declared, holding a hand out to me as if to help me up. As I stared up at her for a brief second, I caught something in her eyes. She was conflicted.

In a blind leap of faith, I reached for her hand. She grasped and yanked me up before slamming her elbow into my ribs. I felt something snap. Gritting my teeth, I gripped the ends of the bandana holding her hair back with the hand she released. I pulled as she pushed me away from her, tugging the bandana off her head. With the momentum, I was propelled over the rope that acted as a makeshift safety rail, and down into the raging river.

The only person I'd ever truly loved had just completely shattered the trust we'd built up over ten years in less than two minutes.

It made me sick.

My ribs throbbed as I was slammed into the ground for the third time in a row. This time I stayed down. Any more throws, and she'd do even more damage. I panted in exhaustion and pain. I spoke up as she got up onto her white horse.

"Why'd you defect?"I asked, my head bowed in defeat.

"I didn't. I remain 'loyal to the end'. To my purpose. What about you, Jack?"She asked. I remained silent, "What is it going to be? Loyalty to your country or loyalty to me? Your country, or your mother and mentor? Your mission, or your beliefs? Will you put your duty to your unit first? Or will your personal feelings get in the way?"When I still remained silent, she scoffed.

"You don't know the truth yet, but one day, you will have to choose. I don't expect you to forgive me; but you'll never take me down, either. You know me too well."She pointed suddenly to the cloth around my forehead, "Just look at that bandana! If you can't put the past behind you, you'll never last out here!"She spurred her horse and it's front legs kicked up before slamming back down; one of the Andalusian's hooves lading on my hand. dislocating a few fingers. I hissed in pain, but otherwise remained silent.

"If we meet again, I'll kill you."She threw a glare over her shoulder, "Now go home!" With those words, she rode off, never looking back, even once.

."Life's end...isn't it beautiful?"She asked, staring up at the petals that swirled around us, her back to me, "It's almost tragic. When life ends, it gives off a final lingering aroma. Light is but a farewell gift from the darkness to those on their way to die." The boss' stance seemed to sag, almost as if she were suddenly exhausted.

"I've been waiting, Snake. For a long time."She said, staring at me from over her shoulder, "Waiting for your birth, your growth, and the finality of today."

"Why are you doing this?"I asked her finally.

"Why? To make the world whole again. The world used to be one, however with the end of the second world war, the Philosophers began to fight amongst themselves. Thus, the world was torn asunder."She began, spreading her arms wide and spinning leisurely amongst the falling petals. I remained silent.

"The Cobras, my comrades who trained and fought along side me were torn apart as well. The foibles of politics, along with the march of time can turn friend to foe just as easily as the wind changes."She stopped spinning and caught a single petal between her thumb and forefinger. She chuckled humorlessly.

"Ridiculous, isn't it? Yesterday's ally can be tomorrow's opposition. And this Cold war? Think. Back when I still led the Cobras, Russia and America were fighting together. Now, consider whether the two will still be enemies in the twenty-first century."She shook her head, "Somehow, I doubt it. One's enemies change along with the times. With the flow of ages; and we soldiers are forced to play along. I didn't raise you and shape you into the man you are today, just so we could face each other in battle. A soldier's skills are not meant to be used to hurt friends..."She looked down, almost as if in thought. After a moment of silence, she lifted her head and sighed.

"So then what is an enemy? Is there such a thing as an absolute timeless enemy? No… There is no such thing, and there never has been. And the reason is that our enemies are just as human as we ourselves are. They can only be our enemies in relative terms." I stepped closer to her. She turned around, but didn't meet my eyes.

"The world must be made whole again; the Philosophers must be reunited. With the Colonel's money, I will achieve that end. Just as I once created the Cobras. They are my family. Just as you are my family. I may no longer be able to bear children, but I still have a family."She clenched a fist in front of her before reaching for her collar and unzipping her sneaking suit, revealing a long, curving scar along the length of her abdomen.

"This… This scar is proof that I was once a mother. I gave up my body and child for my country. There is nothing left inside of me now."Tears rolled down her cheeks. I saw the despair written plainly; sincerely in her eyes, "Nothing at all. No hatred. Not even regret. Yet sometimes at night, I can feel the pain creeping up inside of me. Slithering through my body like a snake..."

The more she revealed to me, the more my heart broke. I felt guilty then for ever feeling anger toward her. She had suffered far more than I ever had. And yet, despite the pain she endured to the very day she died, she was content.

After defeating her in combat, I approached The Boss' downed form. She stared up almost dazedly at the petals of White Star of Bethlehem drifting above us in the gentle breeze. I knelt down next to her. She raised a shaking arm, in her hand, the microfilm for the Philosophers Legacy.

"Take this. Keep it safe. It's our only hope." I took the film from unresisting fingers and tucked it away in my jacket, "Jack… Or should I say...Snake? You've become a wonderful man, my son. You have done your mother proud."As I watched her, I could sense something there that before now, I never had. I could see it in her eyes. She had found her peace.

She reached for her gun and held it out to me. I wrapped my fingers around the handle, a sense of dread filling me at the implications of the action.

"A patriot? Why..?"

"Kill me. Kill me now! Do it!"She ordered, her eyes meeting mine, silently begging me not to refuse, "There is only room for one Boss...And one Snake..."And she closed her eyes.

I stared at the gun in my hand for what seemed like hours before raising it slowly, and after a second of hesitation, I pulled the trigger.

The flowers surrounding us turned bloody crimson, and the dam broke. The tears soundlessly rolled down my cheeks. My mother's white Andalusian approached his former master and nudged her. When he received no response, he raised his head and whickered sorrowfully. A breeze blew a single blood colored petal into my unoccupied hand. I clutched it.

After that ordeal, I remained in Washington only long enough to receive the Distinguished Service Cross from the president, and to lay a bouquet of White Star of Bethlehem on The Boss' grave. I traveled around for some months, visiting England, Japan, and a number of places. It was all a blur. I made a name for myself as Tobias Black in England as a small-time musician. I even bought a flat there. A place to get away, you know?

Heh… That reminds me of when I was caught with my guitar on Mother Base...

It was early evening. The sun was just sinking beyond the horizon, and a light fog was slowly rolling in. I was sitting up on the roof of Mother base's tallest towers. Today was one of the days of the year that I wanted to be left alone. My birthday. I had taken to hiding away on this day since my mother's death. I was lonely without her, though I would never admit it out loud.

In my lap, I held a sandy colored guitar I had recently bought. I still had the one The Boss gave me all those years ago in the flat I own in England; stored safely, along with the flute she gave me for my fifteenth birthday. Music was one thing I could truly appreciate. And as I strummed the guitar, I immersed myself in the notes, letting myself forget. Just for a while.

Some time later, I came out from mu music induced trance, feeling eyes on me.

"I know you're there. Why don't you come and join me here?"I called out to them. Slowly, they approached, a slightly guilty energy about them.

"Ah, sorry about that, boss. We couldn't help it."Came Kaz's apologetic voice. I relaxed a bit as he came to sit beside me. On my other side, oddly enough, was Dr. Strangelove. She held a food tray on her lap.

"Now what can I do for you two?"I asked neutrally.

"Well, we didn't see you around base at all today, and you weren't on a mission. You missed breakfast and lunch, so we came looking for you. Thought you might be hungry. We didn't mean to spy on you. We were just enjoying the music. I didn't know you played."Kaz babbled on. I smirked.

"You never asked."I pointed out, "Thank you for the concern. I appreciate it. I just wanted to be alone today."

"You still mourn for her, don't you?"Strangelove asked solemnly. I glanced at her, surprised at her perception. Kaz wrapped an arm around my shoulder, smiling knowingly.

"You know, it's not healthy to be alone when you're upset. Sometimes, it's better to have some friends by your side; just to know you're not alone in this world. We're here for you. Whenever you need us."I felt warmth spread through my chest at his words. I smiled genuinely for the first time in a long time.

"You're right. Thank you."

And then my stomach growled, ruining the moment. I scratched the back of my head in embarrassment as they laughed. Some things never change…

As suddenly as the flashes had come, they were gone, and I was exhausted. I slept for a while, letting the dark claim me. That is...until something called out to me. I lazily latched onto it, letting me carry me to who the hell knows where. When it released me, I could feel a presence. A depressed presence. I walked for a while, until I came across a child. She bore some resemblance to me. Perhaps my father had more children some time down the line.

She was filthy, as if no-one had bothered to care for her; brown hair matted and gnarled, dirt and who knows what else crusted on her face. However, out of all of this, it was her eyes that were the most troubling. They were bleak. Haunted. It was almost like looking in a mirror.

"What causes you such sorrow, child?"I couldn't help asking. She remained quiet, as if she didn't know what to say.

"Auntie 'Tunia and Unca' Vern'n don't like me an' Dudders is a'ways mean to me. What did I do? Why dun they love me?" She finally asked. I shook my head, having no answer for her. Tears trailed down her face, tearing at my already torn heart. I knelt down and opened my arms, willing to do anything to stop those tears. The girl ran into my arms and wept. I just held her, stroking her head and humming quietly. She fell asleep some time later, and I could feel a pull on my consciousness. Everything went dark, the child fading as if she'd never been there.

"Jack!"I heard from somewhere around me.

'Boss?'

"Wake up! You want to save them, don't you?"

'Who? What are you talking about?'

"There's no time! Wake up, god damn it!"

'How?'

"Wake-"

Everything went white.