Bitch Please, I'm Harry Potter

A/N: I present you with a filler chapter! :D Woo! This chapter was written by my lovely co-writer MillieTheKitty27, so please give her some love as this is her first fanfiction! :3 Anyway, the next chapter will be longer than this due to how short this one is! Enjoy the cracky weirdness~

Warning: Slight cussing.

"Seriously though- Sherly?" John demanded, staring from Sherlock to the Magnussen-Robot-thing. Sherlock just shrugged.

"He says he's my biggest fan." Magnussen nodded eagerly.

"He never reads my fanfictions," Magnussen complained to the very confused John. "Or my notes, or my fan-mail, or returns my calls, or-"

"You're the reason Ms. Hudson came in complaining about our phone bill?" John asked, annoyed.

"Obviously," both Sherlock and Magnussen said in unison.

"Why did he kidnap us? Is he actually a robot…Thing? What even are these robot things?" John asked, not caring about how rapidly he was losing his temper; despite the fact that when John gets angry, shit goes down.

"First, he's a creepy fan, John- aka a fan-girl. Surely even you can figure that out. "

Sherlock rolled his eyes, oblivious to his friend's near-explosion state. "Second, yes, he is one of these robots with a toilet plunger and a whisk for hands-"

"WE ARE THE DALEKS," another robot ("Dalek") bleeped. "CAM IS OUR LEADER AND HE IS BURDENED WITH GLORIOUS PURPOSE."

"Whatever," Sherlock sniffed; he'd rather be solving a murder or playing Cluedo. Then there was a sudden crashing noise.

"One of you go check that out," ordered Magnussen, who was staring at Sherlock lovingly (similar to when Hungary reads Yaoi). A Dalek moved to obey, but was shot back by a red light.

"BITCH PLEASE," a voice shouted. "I AM THE BOY WHO LIVED."

Hermione Granger had originally hoped that she could just have a quiet day in the library at Hogwarts, but nooo, Harry and Ron made her go outside. They had walked next to several statues; Hermione reflected that she should have paid more attention to those statues as they had never been there before. There was a flash of white light and all of a sudden, they were surrounded by metal walls. It was like something out of a T.V show her dad liked, Doctor What or something. Ah, Doctor Who. That was it. She pulled herself to her feet. Ron and Harry were already up, wands out.

"Hermione, what's-" Ron began, as a voice said ordered to 'check that out.' Realizing it was coming towards them, Harry raised his wand.

"Expelliarmus!' he whispered, before adding in a louder voice, "BITCH PLEASE, I AM THE BOY WHO LIVED."

"BITCH PLEASE; I AM SHERLOCK HOLMES' NUMBER ONE FAN," the same voice replied.

"BITCH PLEASE-" Ron began, before thinking about what he was going to say. He paused, and then shouted, "I'M A GINGER!"A look of triumph was evident on Ron's face.

"BUUUURNED..." bleeped something robotic.

"Exterminate that one for telling me I'm burned," 'Sherlock Holmes's number one fan' replied.

"YES-CAM" beeped several voices, "EXTERMINATE!" They cried, before exterminating a rebellious Dalek.

"Bring those intruders in here." Hermione, busy looking closely at the creature Harry had shot, gasped.

"What is it, Hermione?" Harry asked. Both he and Ron were watching her while they prepared themselves to fight.

"I know what it is. It's a Dalek...And it sounds like there are a lot of them."

Hope you like the story so far!

Thanks for reading :')

~MillieTheKitty37

~BooksAreLikeChocolateButBetter