"fire" normal
"FIRE" SHOUTING
"fire" thoughts/radio
"FIRE" SUMMONS/BIJUU/JUSTU
Avidreaded: True it may feel that way but you've got to realize that Simon is a normal human no chakra whatsoever and no I am not giving him chakra cause that would be slightly weirder from my point of view so the Exo's are mainly for him to slightly level the playing field a little should he ever fight a shinobi one on one and if I wanted them to be OP I would have use nanosuits instead.
Rembul: Maybe ;)
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( Konoha a few weeks later)
"*Whistle* gotta admit you guys sure know how to build a wall." Stated Naruto as he and Simon stood in awe at the walls of Konoha. They were now still wearing their uniform minus their Exo and mask showing off their faces but Simon wore his glasses and let his headset hang loose on his neck. The only weapons they had on were their pistols,knives and their HF blades. The other weapons, extra C4 and Claymores and their Exo's are in a storage seal made by Kushina since they didn't want to scare off the villagers there which the team agreed to and was now holding them in their vests.
After the revelation back in Wave Kushina and Uzume then started hanging out with Naruto to get to know him better during their remainder of the stay which for the most part had them just talking as they stayed at Tanzuna's house and the few occasion of them heading to the village.
Simon on the other hand just hang out where ever suit his fancy such as helping out using his Exo to carry the heavy stuff for the people as they rebuild their home.
The only notable thing that happen was that Sasuke demanded for the two to give him their gear which turned out badly which safe to say he got off easy compared to what they do to those back home though he might not see spring onions the same way again. Other than that the two had to outrun from the ever growing horde of fangirls they manged to acquired during the time.
Though Tsunami was slightly glowing when it was time for them to leave while Naruto notice Simon had a shit eating grin and couldn't help but shake his head knowing what he did but he couldn't blame him.
"You know, for two people being sent here from another world which one of you was originally from this place and then reunited with his family you guys are surprisingly calm about all this." Said Kakashi as he look at the calm expression in their faces because he was slightly worried at how his sensei would react seeing his own son again after he sent a message back via Pakkun and every step taken made him nervous which made him wondered how these two managed to stay calm about it.
Naruto and Simon looked at him before Simon said "To us the definition of the word weird doesn't faze us anymore."
"What could be weirder than this?" Asked a confuse Kakashi.
The two shared a look before remembering one of their missions they had.
( Flashback )
BOOOM
"Shit what the fuck man how the hell did girl scouts learn how to use MECHS anyway." Fox said outloud as he hid behind a counter as bullets started flying on his position.
"What I wanna know is how they managed to get their hands on those MECHS." Shouted Ghost as he returned fire from his position behind a pillar.
"Prof! Where is that EMP grenade." Shouted Fox as a rocket exploded near him
"Give me a minute." Shouted a professor as he tried to make something from his position.
"We don't have a minute!." Shouted Fox
"Then make one, just hand me that vibrator over there." Retorted the professor
( Flashback end )
The two ended it as they shook their heads before Fox answered "You really don't want a straight answer to that but for the most part it involves girl scouts, a couple of MECHS and a sex shop."
The deadpan looks on the shinobi's faces were priceless as they shook their heads as they might not want to know for the sake of their sanity as the shinobi gave their pass to the gate guards before walking into the village though they had a confuse look on their face seeing the two mercenaries. The walk was quite pleasant for the two as they saw people casually doing their own business though they got some confuse stares from some of them but they didn't mind except for the hungry looks they got from some of the female population.
"Hey Uzume, why don't you show your brother and Simon around the village while me, Kakashi and Yugao settle our report first, we'll meet you back at the house, the rest of you are dismissed." Said Kushina because she wanted the two to get use to the village first and the fact she wanted to ease her husband into it so she decided to let them meet at their home.
Uzume nodded vigorously as she dragged the two by their hands and took them to the first stop Ichiraku's ramen.
After they were out of sight, the three nins then nodded to each other before they disappear in a swirl of leaves.
( Hokage tower )
The three were now in front of the Hokage room which they knocked and waited for a moment before a voice called out "enter." Opening it they saw the Hokage looking back at them from his paperwork and smiled at them before speaking "Congratulations Team 7 for a job well done now if you would please the reports."
The three nodded before they gave their account on the mission.
( With Uzume and the two )
"You know I can actually see the resemblance here." Said Simon as he look at the two with awe and slight disgust as he see both of them eat enough ramen to feed a small family while the two chefs just laugh at the situation as if were an everyday occurrence.
"Don't worry about it this is normal for us but I must say that you two are from another world sounds farfetched a little and the fact that your partner is Kushina's long lost son is another." Said Tenchi as he learned of their existence from Uzume who was happily wolfing down another helping while Simon just sweatdrop before he retorted "And ninjas that can walk on water, spew fire from their mouths, shoot lightning from their asses isn't?"
Tenchi looked a little sheepish when now he thought about it but he chalked it up to being use to it since he saw this kind of stuff nearly everyday, a few minutes later both Uzume and Naruto were satisfied with three stack of bowls in front of them while Simon just shook his head at the two.
Before they could leave the stand, four more people decided to enter the stand which the the chef greeted them and all of them were recognized by Uzume who greeted them with enthusiasm "Kurenai sensei, Hina-chan, Shino-san, Kibaka Ohaiyo." The three of the four greeted in their own way as the two mercs saw with the raven haired beauty giving a loving smile while the blue haired girl nodded meekly and the stoic coat wearing one just nodded.
The funniest one was the feral looking boy with a small white puppy on his head shouted "Don't call me that you tomato head."
"I call you what I want kibble breath." Retorted Uzume while the rest of the people in the stand snicker at what Uzume said but the feral boy was fuming at his nickname and then shouted "Yeah you want to get your ass beaten by me huh you bit..." and before he finished that sentence a knife came flying and planted itself right near the boy's family jewels. Everyone sans one turn to the source to see Naruto's outstretch hand signifying that he was the one who throw it who glared at him before saying to him in a cold tone "You finished that sentence mutt and I'll show you what's it like being a girl understand."
Kiba on the other hand let his anger control him as he argued with Naruto "And why do you care huh you her brother or something let me tell you I'm the alpha dog of their class and no one is better than me you hear."
Naruto and Simon just raised their eyebrow before Simon said to Kurenai "You really should get him check out by a doctor before his sickness gets worse."
Kurenai was confuse just as the rest of them except for Naruto who elaborated "Where we come from, he has a sickness that is quite common among people like him. Its called open mouth insert foot syndrome which if left unchecked will grow worse and then he will probably become a nagging man whining like a baby."
Once everyone heard that they all started to laugh and if one look closely they could see that Shino has a ghost of a smile on his face, Kiba on the other hand had smoke coming out of his ears "I do not have what ever you call it I am the best there is period and everyone else is nothing more than second best." Said Kiba smugly as he tried to regain some pride he lost.
Simon faked shocked as he said "My god its even worse."
Uzume who couldn't stop chuckling had to ask "What?"
Simon continued on with a mock fear in his eyes "He also has the same sickness that emo king has now this is very bad. If one was bad enough now we got someone who not only has open mouth insert foot syndrome, he also has the open ass insert pole sickness too! Quick we must get him to the hospital now before he starts to throw a temper tantrum until he's old enough to be a grandfather."
That was it as everyone started to laugh out loud except for Shino who was trembling as he tried to hold it in but some managed to come out and Kiba was frothing at the mouth right now at how he was insulted by the two so with his usual reckless abandonment he lunged at the two which was gonna be his somewhat last mistake he'll ever make.
( Hokage office )
"I see are you sure of this?" Asked the blond Hokage as he was now hearing the reports of the mission where the team return with his supposed son and his friend back but he was slightly skeptical because in their report he was now a full grown adult not a child even if his gut says its alright his rational side wanted to know how its possible.
"Yes we are sure Minato but just in case I ask if he would give us a sample of his DNA which he agreed to and I have it right here." Said Kushina as she took out a kunai from a scroll and gave it to him.
Minato took it before giving it to one of his ANBU and said "Give this to Tsunade and tell her to check it with mine and Kushina's DNA and tell her this takes priority above all else." The ANBU nodded and the quickly disappear heading towards his destination. After that Minato turned to the three and continued on "So ummm how is Naruto like anyway?"
Kushina was the one who answered this "Well he different than most, he and his brother usually just make a joke out of everything despite the situation but when it calls for it both of them can be as serious as the next and just as ruthless but I guess that's because of their career that's caused them to be like this." Minato noted some sadness when she said that but he couldn't blame her because hearing his son becoming a mercenary and his job specialty was something he couldn't like nor hate since its what shinobi do too but he was proud that his son didn't do it just for money alone.
"By the way where is he anyway I would like to see him." Said Minato who was answered by Yugao "He and his friend are currently with Uzume touring the village for a while before meeting us at your home that way he might feel welcome if he knows the village a little." Which Minato nodded at before he got up and told Yugao "well since I am almost done for the day why don't you tell them to go to the house now you know for them to familiarize with it I'll be there in a while."
Yugao nodded and then disappear in a swirl of leaves leaving the three left to discuss some other stuff.
( Ichiraku's ramen )
Yugao went into Ichiraku's first since knowing Uzume's stomach and if Naruto was like his mother then they might be there for a while but what she did not expect was seeing this situation.
Firstly, the Inuzuka's male heir was in a seiza position with what look like a black eye on his face while on a seat was Naruto who was holding a roll of newspaper in his hand and slowly tapping it on his other hand while Simon was petting Akamaru, she look to her left and saw her friend Kurenai struggling herself from laughing which was the same with Shino but she could see their bodies shaking while Uzume was rolling on the floor as she laugh her ass off and Hinata was giggling like mad and Tenchi and Ayame was laughing and banging their hands on the table.
Before she could ask what was going on Naruto decided to speak up "Now little pup what have learn today."
Kiba flinch at the tone Naruto was using so he meekly answered "To never talk with your foot in your mouth."
Naruto nodded before he gave a stern glare and a warning "Good but if I hear you doing this again then what I did to you today will be nothing compared to what I'm gonna do next do you hear me." Kiba nodded his head so fast it might as well come off from his body as he really did not want to know what was worse than what he experience just now.
Yugao did nothing more than just shake her head and cough a little to get their attention which it did, now all eyes were on her as she said "If you are quite done with torturing the Inuzuka's heir would the three of you please go to the Uzumaki-Namikaze resident please the Hokage will meet you there later."
The three just nodded and said goodbye to team 8 before heading towards to Uzume's house.
( A while later )
The group of four was walking on the road towards the house while taking about random stuff mostly for Uzume as she was curious about their world and the two managed to answer her as they possibly can despite lack of visual pictures which made it slightly hard.
While the four was talking they pass by an alley where suddenly they heard some sort of giggling which made the four stop as the two mercs saw a slight form of hatred in the eyes of the two females as they all turn to see a white haired man wearing a kabuki clothes and wooden shoes scribbling something as he giggle perversely as the two males sweatdrop when they realize that there is even someone like him in this world that would peep on women and writing some at the same time.
The two mercs then turn to see the two female looking ready to kill the guy and the two of them couldn't help but pity him just slightly so with that in mind the two look at each other before nodding.
Jiraiya was having the time of his life as he scribble down his next work while peeping on the female side of the hotspring and he couldn't help but wonder if luck was on his side right now but before he could finish that thought his battle sense came in which made him jump as he dodge a horizontal swing from a red glowing sword but he didn't have time to wonder as he twisted his body in mind air to avoid another swing from another person but sadly the direction he went was right into the female hotspring which he landed into with a splash.
Uzume and Yugao were shock as they saw how fast the two move and in sync all the while managing to send Jiraiya straight into the female hotsprings where his cries of mercy was heard as the two mercs walk towards them.
Shaking out of their stupor they continued walking not caring for the man currently being beaten by a horde of angry female.
( Uzumaki-Namikaze resident )
The four now turned three were now in front of the house which to say the least was quite big in the mercs mind for just three members living here, Yugao return to her post after she accompanied them to the house leaving them to do their stuff.
Uzume put her hand on the gate and it slowly unlock and opened to let them in, when they went into the house Naruto and Simon were slightly surprised at how homy it look despite it being from a leader of a village. After a while Uzume just drag the two of them upstairs so they could put their stuff. They reach one of the doors to a room Uzume chose for Naruto since she wanted him to be near her room and with gusto she opened it with a bang but what she wasn't expect was that the room was furnish with stuff like posters cupboards and on the table were some stuff she didn't recognized.
She turn to see her brother and Simon having their jaws dropped and their eyes widen like dinner plates which made her want to question why until Naruto broke the silence "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS! WHAT'S MY STUFF DOING HERE."
Uzume then adopted a shock look as she ask "Wait you mean this is all your stuff Nii-chan?"
The spiky blond nodded his head dumbly before heading straight for the closet and opened it up confusing Uzume at why he was doing it, until she saw him pushing apart the hanging clothes to reveal an assortment of weapons behind it and she was slightly shock to see her brother having so much weapons
"What...But...How." Stammered Naruto as he try to figure out what the hell was going on and so did Simon as he took one of the guns and inspected it and found it to be real as it had a special mark that only he and Naruto would know and then suddenly a voice came from behind them.
"I thought it might be good welcome home present don't ya think."
Faster than anyone could see the two mercs turned to the voice with their pistols drawn towards the voice while Uzume got into a battle dance. What they saw was a male figure wearing a white tuxedo and a white top hat sitting on the bed the only thing they couldn't see anything on his face because its been wrapped by white bandages and a pair of glasses as a pair of eyes.
The figure put its hands up in a surrender motion before saying "Now now I come in peace."
"Who are you." Said Simon to the white figure Who made a smirking sound before saying
"Me I actually don't have a name but you can call me Infinity."
"What kind of name is that?" Asked Uzume
"A name that suits me since I am what you call a govern of sorts except I see all worlds." Said Infinity which made Simon and Naruto's eyes widen before Naruto stated
"So you're the one that brought us here."
"Yes I'm the one that brought you here. Well more like returning someone where he belongs after he was taken." Said Infinity and before he knew it Naruto had his gun right at his head as he said "You're the one that took me from my family didn't you."
"Now now don't be so hasty I did not take you from your family hell you weren't suppose to be taken. It was how you call it bad luck in a way and if you'll let me explain then you'll know why and what I want you to do after you here me out."
Naruto glared at him for a moment before slowly taking the gun of his head and step back a little but still had his finger on the trigger which in Infinities mind was enough before he started to explain
"OK, you two know about the infinite worlds theory right? -Simon and Naruto nodded while Uzume was slightly confuse but didn't say anything- Good now I govern the bridge between all of them so in a nut shell no one can go into any other dimension without my say so to say the least but during the time of your birth was another being that wanted to fuse the worlds together so he can rule over it but luckily he didn't have a lot of supporters so me and the others manage to destroy him but he managed to damage the bridge a little in all worlds so that's what transported you to Simon's world and the only reason I didn't take you back its because the damage was done and your existence was already set in that world and the only way is to bring you back is that your existence be erased from your world which in this case dying mostly."
"So what your saying is that some f-up god wants to rule the world and I got caught up in this mess." Asked Naruto.
Infinity just nodded while Naruto couldn't help but sigh as he sat on a nearby chair while Uzume went to console him, Simon just stare at Infinity before saying "There's more to this than just that I assume?"
Infinity nodded before continuing "Yes there is, since the being managed to destroy the bridge the world is now in turmoil since dimension cracks have been appearing and sending people and other things through it to somewhere else so me and the others decide to control where these people will end up so for the most part we decide to choose here."
"Why?" Asked Simon.
"Since this was the first place that was hit during the time the effects were more stronger so we used it as an anchor so that if any of the rifts appear we can automatically send them here while we try to repair the bridge, so in a nut shell I want you to help some of these people should they be drag here and if they are a threat then eliminate them." Said Infinity seriously
Naruto and Simon look at him a little before Naruto asked "And what's in it for us?"
"I can grant you 1 wish each, within reason of course and doesn't affect the world or anything else."
That put the three in a loop as the being in front of them was doing something like this so Naruto and Simon excuse themselves along with Uzume as they started to huddle and what seemed like hours than a few minutes and after a while Simon then said "Can you transport anyone else here?"
Infinity looked at them for a moment before sighing "Yes BUT the catch is either they die like you did so their existence is erased from there or if your existence in their minds is still there but it will take a while because the longer they think you are dead then your existence to them in their minds become weaker so in a way yes I can bring your mother and fiance here but it will take time."
That was all they needed to hear before Infinity waved goodbye and disappear in a flash leaving behind the three to ponder what they just heard before Naruto broke the silence.
"Just another day at work it seems."
"Yep, so what are we gonna do about this?" Asked Simon
"Maybe we should tell mom and dad." Said Uzume eventhough she was still slightly confuse about the situation.
The two mercs look at each other for a moment before sighing as they knew they couldn't keep this a secret and before anyone could say anything a voice came from below which only Uzume recognized as she quickly ran down leaving the two mercs to shrugged and followed her. When they got the stairs they saw something or in this case someone that slightly startled them for a moment because at the moment they saw Uzume being carried by a blond man who looks exactly like Naruto but his face was slightly more angular than his and when his gaze met theirs, a stunned look appear on his face as the blond stare at Naruto for a while as an awkward silence ensured.
"Ummmm I guess this is hello father." Naruto said awkwardly.
"Yeah I guess." Minato answered awkwardly before putting Uzume down and both of them stare at each other for a moment until Kushina gain a tick mark before saying "All right will the two of you get it on with knowing each other already we got two more people to introduce."
Minato look at his wife before laughing awkwardly as he cough into his hand and introduce the two, the first made both mercs widen their eyes in realization as the saw the same man who peeped on the women side of the hotspring right in front of them which was also mimicked by the man who pointed at them and shouted "YOU." Minato and Kushina jumped a little at it and wondered why he did it until Simon said "You guys know this pervert?"
Minato had to sigh as he guess how the two met before regaining composure and said "Yes this pervert is Naruto's godfather Jiraiya of the SANNIN." Jiraiya puffed his chest out in pride while Simon and Naruto stare at him deadpan at him before Naruto spoke up "Think you could change him into someone else cause I'm pretty sure that my parents wouldn't want his son be near a good for nothing pervert that spies on women ." The moment he said that everyone there had to laugh at the gobsmacked expression on Jiraiya's face and was about to say something until Uzume told them how the mercs met Jiraiya and safe to say he wasn't getting up anytime soon.
The next person however made the two's jaws drop as they saw a very busty blond bombshell walking in wearing a size too small kimono shirt and pants that show of her body slightly too much but what Minato said made their eyes widen like dinner plates
"Naruto, Simon this is Tsunade Senju Naruto's distant relative and godmother."
The two stare in shock for a moment before Naruto spoke up "You mean to tell me that this woman who should be on the playboy cover magazine either topless or in a skimpy bikini is my godmother." Tsunade smiled a little at what Naruto said before Minato interjected saying she's the same age as Jiraiya which earned him a lump on his head by Tsunade.
The two sweatdrop before shaking their heads as Naruto said "Well its nice to know our godparents and all but we have something we want to tell you." The four adults were confuse for a moment as Naruto and Simon led them to the living room and then started to explain what happen earlier.
After explaining what had happen early on the four adult shinobi were slightly stunned at what they were hearing and slightly skeptical about it but they decided not to say anything since them being here was proof enough but Minato did voice out his concern.
"This is quite disturbing but I think we should keep it a secret since I doubt that anyone aside from us would believe it."
The rest agreed with this knowing that no one would believe them so unless necessary they will say that the two mercs are on a mission should they be on it before they continued talking about random stuff which included some of the mission the mercs were on before a very unique question was asked by Uzume.
"Hey onii-chan did you have any girlfriends?"
That put a stop to things as everyone look at Naruto for an answer while Simon just smirked at him, Naruto on the other hand was sweating hard as he saw the look on his mother's face demanding answers and because of that he sigh before answering
"My love life is more complicated than that."
The look on confusion on their faces was slightly funny and before Naruto could say anything else Simon decided to speak up "What he means is when it comes to women we just have the weirdest luck."
Naruto kept on waving no in order to stop what was coming but Simon didn't heed it as he continued "You see when it comes to our love life me and Naruto here had a tally on who has the weirder experience because for all intense purposes your sweet little boy there has a bounty on his head in six different countries and must be brought back alive so he could marry the princesses there because he gave them the time of their lives and sometimes I was tempted to do it too."
After that revelation, the people there had vary types of emotion, Jiraiya had a perverted grin on his face as he thought about the girls Naruto had while Minato despite looking shock in his mind he secretly cheered for Naruto while Tsunade and Kushina had the most priceless expression on their faces as both their jaws dropped in shock as they realized that their son/godson is a player and before anyone else could say anything Naruto stood up and pointed at Simon shouting
"AT LEAST I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH AN ENTIRE CLAN OF FEMALE ASSASSINS, I MEAN COME ON WHO SLEEPS WITH THE PEOPLE HIRED TO KILL US."
Simon raised an eyebrow before answering "This coming from the guy who got stranded on an island full of beautiful amazon women and had to ensure that all of them had babies before they could let you go. Yeah I think mine is still slightly more tame than yours."
Naruto had a tick mark before he retorted "YEAH what about the time you got caught by an all female pirates of all things for a week before they let you go."
Before the two could continue Kushina shakily raised her hand before saying "Umm how many times have this situation happen to you two."
The two look at each other for a moment before Simon answered "We lost count some time ago when a pop idol group from Korea showed us some gratitude for saving them and since then we forgo asking how we got into this kind of situation.
That was all Kushina needed to hear before she put down her hand and like lightning itself she grabbed onto the mercs ears and started to drag them of somewhere as she said "You two need to learn about modesty because I am not letting my son become nothing more that a player and you are no better."
The scene was quite amusing to the rest as the mercs started protesting but it fall on deaf ears as the two was drag of by the red hot habanero.
"Well I never thought you son was quite the player Minato." Said Jiraiya as he giggle perversely before being smacked to the floor by Tsunade who had a tick mark on her face.
Minato on the other had sweatdrop at the situation as he heard his wife chewing out the two mercs before picking up Uzume who was giggling at the situation before he turned to the two SANNIN and said "Come on you two we've got a big day tomorrow because I've called for a council meeting." Which the two followed behind wondering how would the people react to the news tomorrow
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And cut that's a wrap, All right that's all I have for now so Rate and review Ja ne