Chapter 9

Jamie climbed up the stairs to the third floor of a residential building in search of Eddie's apartment. They were supposed to be cramming for her next exam tonight - that is until he got a text from her saying that she wasn't feeling well. She hadn't said anything else when he replied with an offer to bring her dinner, so he decided to head to her place anyway and pick up some chicken soup along the way. It would give him a chance to check on her.

And if Jamie was completely honest with himself, he would admit that he also wanted to see if she'd say anything about her date last night. He was hoping it went terribly, because the fact that he might have lost the opportunity for something more with Eddie - all because he'd been hesitant to pull the trigger, so to speak. And that had pissed him off after he'd had a chance to mull everything over. Jamie had left the coffee shop a defeated man and as he continued to stew in his own pity party at home - alone - he came to a realization: it was his fault. He'd been the one to just sit around, debating whether he should or shouldn't ask her out. It was as if he was waiting for a big neon sign to tell him it was time; all because he was afraid. He knew that he couldn't continue on like that, so here he was, using the excuse of bringing chicken soup to a sick friend as a ruse to really see if there was even a glimmer of hope left for him - maybe even if there was a chance for a them.

Jamie stopped in front of apartment 3D and knocked on the door. He waited in the hall for a few minutes, grasping a brown paper bag with the savory soup in his left hand before knocking again. Jamie leaned in towards the door when he thought he heard shuffling coming from the other side.

"Who is it?" Eddie's muffled voice called out from inside the apartment.

Even through the door, Jamie sensed a weariness to her voice and became instantly concerned. "Eddie, it's me, Jamie. Open up," he responded, expecting to hear the locks on the door turning soon thereafter, but there was only silence which brought a frown to Jamie's face.

Instead of greeting him face to face, Eddie replied through the closed door. "I told you I wasn't feeling well. I'm not up for studying, Reagan," she said in a voice that struggled to remain even.

Jamie was on full alert now. He might have only known Eddie for a short time, but his senses were picking up on the fact that something wasn't right with her and it had nothing to do with an illness. "I know, but I brought you some soup since you said you weren't feeling well. Open the door so I can hand it over to you and I'll go, okay?" he pleaded, not wanting to leave without visual proof of her well being.

There was another moment of hesitation and Jamie was expecting another denial of his request but was relieved and surprised when he heard Eddie turn the locks. He just wasn't expecting to see what he saw.

Jamie's jaw dropped as he first took in her swollen, red-rimmed eyes. She held herself stiffly, appearing rumpled in a long-sleeved t-shirt and sweatpants. But what stood out overall, what made Jamie's insides clench were the gash on her forehead, split lip and the mottled bruising along one side of her face and near the corner of her mouth. "Oh my God, Eddie," he whispered, unable to mask his worry. "What happened?" he asked.

Eddie briefly met his eyes when she opened the door, but turned away quickly when she took in the shock and worry reflecting back at her. And she was unable to meet them again when she answered his question, crossing her arms in front of herself protectively. "I, uh, I got in a car accident on my way home last night," she stammered. Eddie nervously glanced at him to see if he believed her.

Sadly, Jamie had seen this type of behavior before, countless times while on the job. He knew it was a lie based on her skittish demeanor and her inability to meet his eyes. Someone had hurt her and she was too afraid to admit it. "Did someone hit you?" he asked, his free hand balling into a fist at his side. He wanted nothing more than to know who'd done this to her and give them a taste of their own medicine.

Caught by surprise by his blunt question, Eddie's eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed repeatedly. "I got in a car accident," she repeated, trying to sound more convincing, but failing miserably.

Jamie called her out on it. "I don't think that's what happened," he argued.

Eddie's head snapped up suddenly and humiliation turned to anger that she now directed at Jamie. Her normally friendly blue eyes turned cold. "Well, I don't really care what you believe, Reagan. It's none of your business, so leave me alone," she spat before slamming the door in his face.

Jamie flinched away from the door as soon as it shut, still holding her chicken soup in his hand. He felt a mixture of shock, anger and confusion flow through him as he clenched his jaw. He closed his eyes and let his head drop, knowing this had something to do with the guy she had met up with last night. When he hoped that her date went badly, this was not what he had meant at all.

A few days later, Jamie was making his way home after a long day tour. His head hung low, his duffle bag was slung across his back shoulder and out of his way to free his hands only so he could stuff them into his pockets as he walked uptown in a daze. He had no desire to keep up with the hurried flow of the foot traffic around him as people rushed to get home and out of the thick, sticky late afternoon heat. A million thoughts ran through his head, all regarding one petite blonde cadet who'd been ignoring his calls and texts since the night he'd shown up at her apartment.

At a loss for what to do, Jamie sighed and felt compelled to look up, surprised to find himself in front of the same coffee shop he and Eddie had rendezvoused at for a few of their study sessions in the recent past. Jamie frowned and took in his surroundings. He'd been so distracted, he'd veered off course and ended up in Eddie's neighborhood.

He turned back toward the window of the coffee shop and his brow crinkled when he recognized a figure inside. Jamie took a step closer to the storefront for a better look and couldn't hold back his surprise when he caught sight of the subject of his thoughts sitting inside. He stared through the window for a few minutes, observing as Eddie picked her phone up off of the table she was sitting at and hit a button before slamming it back down. She certainly hadn't returned any of his calls and it appeared that she was avoiding someone else as well.

Jamie was relentless when it came to helping the people he cared about and even though she might not have an interest in him as anything more than a study partner and drinking buddy, he would do what he could to help Eddie too. So he turned around, put on a brave face and headed into the coffee shop.

Dressed casually in jeans and a long sleeved blouse, Eddie sat hunched over to one side, her head braced against her left hand as she stared aimlessly at a book on the table, unaware of the shadow that rolled across the pages.

"Hey," Jamie greeted quietly as he sidestepped between Eddie's table and a neighboring table.

Eddie's head snapped up at the sound of the familiar voice. "Hey, Reagan," she replied flatly while quickly scanning the immediate area and bringing her eyes back down to her book.

Jamie pursed his lips when he saw that she was less than thrilled to see him. It pained him to still see her so guarded and hurt, like the other night. The bruising and gash on her face had lightened, but it was still evident, especially with her hair pulled back into a high ponytail at the crown of her head and no makeup at all to cover it up. She appeared far younger than an NYPD cadet should look.

Jamie gave her a tight smile and plowed on. "What have you been up to? You haven't returned any of my calls," he said.

Eddie shrugged without so much as a glance in his direction. "I've been busy," Eddie replied curtly, still trying to appear focused on her studies.

Jamie nodded, not that she could see him. He looked around the busy coffee shop as he considered how much he should push, but chose to keep things casual and conversational for now. "How'd your last exam go?" he asked.

Eddie was nothing if not stubborn, something that Jamie was learning quickly as she remained in her seemingly focused slouch.

"Good," she quickly answered as she read over the same line in her textbook for the hundredth time. Eddie knew he could see through her façade, but still prayed he would go away, even though a part of her was dying for him to stay or to just do something other than keeping this all bottled up.

Jamie became more determined with each of her attempts to brush him off. He pulled his bag off his body as he slid into the seat across from her, which garnered an annoyed sigh from his companion that he easily ignored. "It's strange to not get more than two word answers from you," Jamie commented lightly while giving her pointed look.

"I don't feel like talking," Eddie mumbled as she continued to pretend to read.

Jamie was about to carry on with their conversation to nowhere when he was interrupted by Eddie's phone. He became suspicious of who was calling her when he witnessed the same reaction to the device that he'd seen through the window: an annoyed glance at the caller ID and a quick swipe to decline the call while dropping it back onto the surface of the table.

Jamie was tired and figured he had nothing to lose by being direct. "You want to tell me about that date the other night? Who was he, Eddie?"

That got Eddie's attention and she scowled at him as she sat up straight in her chair. "Some guy. You need to lay off with the twenty questions," she ordered.

Jamie ignored the icy reply. He knew he should tread lightly but couldn't stop himself from snapping back at her. "Maybe, if I was getting some answers."

Eddie stiffened and gave him a piercing glare. "We hang out sometimes and you help me study for the academy. That doesn't make my personal life fair game," she told him.

Jamie sat back in his own seat, stunned. So that was that then, right? They were study partners and drinking buddies. He took a deep breath, hurt by her statement and cold tone. Jamie had a terrible poker face and he knew it, which forced him to look away to try and hide what he was feeling.

Eddie swallowed hard. She hated the hurt she saw in his eyes and hated herself for putting it there, but she didn't have the courage to tell him or anyone, for that matter, what was going on. She was planning about becoming a cop for God's sake! This should have never happened; she should have been able to defend herself. She knew what everyone would think if it got out she'd allowed herself to be assaulted: she doesn't deserve to be a cop. So she kept her mouth shut. She waited, expecting Jamie to get up and walk away, but he surprised her, yet again.

Jamie put aside his disappointment and smiled tightly. He would not be deterred and set forth a new course of action. "Okay," he whispered. "What are you studying?" he asked gently when he was able to look at her again.

Eddie sighed, part of her relieved that he didn't seem to hate her and the other part frustrated when he remained in his seat. "Radio codes," she responded curtly and slumped back in her chair.

"Want some help with those?" he offered.

"Sure," Eddie shrugged and looked down at the book where her fingertips played with the edges of the pages. She knew that short of leaving, she probably wouldn't be able to get rid of him. But if they stuck to their usual studies, she hoped that she could avoid any more personal questions from him. And she knew that after the last few days, she was desperate for company, especially with someone who made her feel safe. Although part of her wanted him to drag the truth from her...she really felt like a hypocrite.

Jamie nodded at her empty cup as he leaned forward to pull his wallet out of his back pocket. "Okay. Want to grab us some coffee? I'll buy?" he offered as he pulled a bill out and held it out to Eddie.

Eddie stared back, sad that he seemed to give up so easily and hating herself for thinking that. It was kind of what she wanted, after all. "Sure," she replied and grabbed the money from his fingers as she quickly stood from her seat. She was relieved to have a reason to step away and gather her composure.

Jamie gave her a more relaxed smile. "I'll stay with our stuff," he added.

Eddie nodded and got in line to order their coffees.

Jamie glanced over his shoulder and once he confirmed that she was otherwise distracted, he grabbed her cell phone from the table. He found the number of the declined calls on the home screen and quickly saved it into his own phone. If she wasn't going to help him help her, he would do it himself.