WTD 2 What They Deserve
"What's your name, little man?" asked the elderly customer, bending over to give Charlie a chance to talk.
"Thomas!" the two and a half year old said softly, hiding his face in his father's pants leg as he stood on Luke's foot. Luke looked down questioningly at Charlie. This was new, Charlie taking on his middle name.
"Well, hello, Thomas, my name is Mr. Cole," the customer replied.
Charlie's eyes grew as big as saucers, but he eventually gave a half-smile just like his daddy's. Luke gently lifted his foot off the ground to let Charlie know they were going to the next table.
At that table, the two ladies sitting there had overheard the conversation and were happy to continue.
"Hi Thomas," said the younger woman. "Are you helping your papa?"
"No!" he shouted. "Charlie!" Jumping off Luke's foot, he stalked back over to the first customer, patted him on the knee and said, "Thomas!"
Mr. Cole, who had not been paying attention to the other table, replied, "No, my name is Mr. Cole."
Charlie scowled, looking more like Luke than ever. "No! No, no no!" Back to the ladies, where he repeated "Charlie!"
Still scowling, he went back to Mr. Cole for another round of "Thomas!"
Luke scooped him up as Charlie eyed the women and deposited him safely in Jess' arms, saying, "Here. Your cousin is having an identity crisis. Deal with it."
Until this moment, Jess had established a stronghold on the table back in the far corner and had spent the morning writing in his notebook. He'd been dragged to Stars Hollow by his wife to "keep Luke company" while she went shopping with Lorelai. Jess stood Charlie up on his knees.
"Congrats, buddy, you figured out at two what it took Sartre years to do. Now, go! Be!" he philosophized, setting Charlie down on the floor again.
Charlie proceeded to terrorize the diners with his rendition of 'Go! Be!' which became "Go-Be! Go-Be! Go-be-go-be-go-be-go-be-go-be-go-be" until Luke's death stare got the snickering Jess off his butt.
"Upstairs or outside, Jess. Now!" he groused as he re-entered the dining area carrying multiple plates.
"No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no" became Charlie's mantra as Jess slung him over his shoulder and carried his unwilling cousin/stepbrother-in-law outside.
Luke wearily set the last two plates on Babette's and Morey's table, saying wistfully, "Remember when the only running commentary we had here was Lorelai's? Who knew that those were the peaceful days?"
Morey chuckled as Babette cracked, "Sugar, you two made a real firecracker there. Your good looks and Lorelai's yap. Sometimes ya get the kid ya deserve."
Luke watched Jess and Charlie outside as Charlie jumped up, trying to see inside the diner. Jess grabbed his hands, holding him high enough to see Babette and Morey waving at him. He wandered back to the counter mumbling, "Peace and quiet. That's what I deserved."
Jess and his cousin wandered first across the street to the playground, where Charlie proceeded to pull the rubber bulbs off the Banyan boys' bicycle horns before sliding them between the slats below the gazebo.
Clambering his way to the gazebo itself Charlie was heard screeching at the top of his lungs while bouncing in place, unknowingly replaying the great street bounce scene of 2001 when Rory and Lorelai bounced in the streets in their excitement over their newly formed, soon to end in disaster relationships.
Next stop was Doose's Market, where Charlie's love of fruit, which came from Daddy, and his utter lack of belief in consequences, which came from Mama, caused a spike in Taylor Doose's blood pressure.
"Once a hoodlum, always a hoodlum," Taylor remarked snidely as he sanctimoniously presumed that Jess and not the lack of fruit stand construction permits was the reason for his whole apple display rolling across the street.
He chased the apples while Charlie determined that the flimsy crates Taylor had used for years were a perfect fit to play hide the baby, having plucked the small baby doll from the carriage of the baby of the clueless Lindsey, who had happily married loose-lipped Shane's equally slutty brother a year after she divorced Dean. Charlie then squatted in the next empty crate, watching the ankles of passers-by.
"I try to be good, Mr. Doose, but the world just won't let me," smirked the business owner and published author, who had bought a piece of the Truncheon Books publishing empire right after his book, The Subsect, had become big in Germany (former East Germany only) and curiously enough Armenia, which had the benefit of being group-translated by the family of the owners of the Armenian pizza parlor below Jess' apartment. Their elder daughter had dated Jess for a good six months followed quickly by a rather murky two months, ending disastrously in what looked like a classic Rory Gilmore relationship blunder – she ran away from Jess.
Even though Taylor had never fallen for either the Gilmore's nor Luke's stunning blue eyes, he was a pushover for Charlie's baby blues.
"Well, who do we have here?" he said, bending over to greet the young man. "Are you little Charlie Danes?"
"No!" shouted the toddler. "No! No! No! No!" he repeated, echoing his father's epic failure to prevent Doose from opening the Soda Shoppe. "No! Taywo, No!"
"Aw, well isn't that just so cute? He's trying to say my name. Now Charlie, you have to respect your elders. You should call me Mr. Doose."
Jess kept a straight mouth when he noticed the toddler-rant building inside of Charlie. This moment was going to be all mini-Luke.
"Mr. Doose. Can you say that, Charlie? Doose. Doo-se. Doo-se. C'mon, Charlie, start with Do as in Doo-se. You can say Do, right?"
"What the hell do you want now, Taylor? I already said no decorations. Also no to the commemorative plate shop you want to open above the ice cream shop." He glared at Taylor for emphasis as he removed dirty dishes from the table near where Doose stood. "Who would even consider climbing stairs to buy commemorative plates?"
"That … that … HOODLUM!" Taylor sputtered. "He's destroyed my fruit stand! How can you let him corrupt your son like that?"
"Who, Jess? You think he gives a damn about your pathetic chemical-laden, mealy, non-organic fruit? That man can buy and sell you three times over, Taylor."
"You haven't heard the end of this, Luke Danes," warned Taylor as he stormed out of the diner.
A few minutes later Jess and Charlie returned to the diner, big grins on both their faces, Charlie chattering away to himself quietly as he hopped up the stairs.
"There's my big guy," cooed Luke as they came through the door.
"Gee, thanks, Uncle Luke," replied Jess, "Nice of you to notice."
"Ha ha," said his uncle, his standard eye roll accompanied by Jess' equally standard wry smile. Since Jess had settled into adulthood, their relationship had become as easygoing and open as any two Danes men could ever get. This basically meant that they didn't talk unless absolutely necessary or when their wives insisted on family time. Even then a few grunts followed by them disappearing on some important hardware or household maintenance task generally sufficed to restore domestic harmony.
"What's this about Taylor's fruit stand?" asked Luke. "He shouldn't be allowed to leave that crap on the sidewalk all day."
Jess shrugged. "Charlie and I were just minding our own business when the stand collapsed on itself. Taylor claimed that I did it, but Charlie was the only one near the stand."
Luke looked sharply at his nephew. "He wasn't in any danger, right?"
"Well, it might have been that Charlie wasn't actually near the stand at the time the apples fell, and maybe there was a little flick of my wrist at a strategic moment. Maybe." His gaze was steady, but a spark of humor blazed in Jess' eyes.
"Ah, I see," said Luke, satisfied that Charlie hadn't been in danger and there was plausible deniability when it came to guilt. "Feels like old times."
He handed Charlie a clean dishtowel to play with. "So, big guy, did you talk to Taylor today?" he asked as he squatted near his son, almost eye to eye.
"Taywo No!" replied Charlie with a giggle. He looked adoringly at his hero and father, sending a chill down Luke's spine from the sheer emotion of the moment. He refused to lose it in the middle of his own diner, exposing his sappy side to one and all, still belligerently in denial about the fact that everyone already knew he was a softy.
"Taywo Do!" blurted Charlie, proud of his newly-learned word. "Taywo Dodo! Taywo Dodo! Taywo Dodo! Taywo Dodo!" he chanted as he hefted the dishtowel above his head and bounced up and down.
Neither Jess nor Luke could hold back the laughter then. Luke grabbed Charlie and tossed him in the air, catching him safely. "That's the best thing I've heard all day, buddy," he said. "You are so smart! You're going to give Rory a run for her money one day."
Jess flipped the dishtowel over Charlie's face, inspiring another series of giggles.
"Hey, Charlie, you hungry?" asked Luke. "I've got your favorite food upstairs."
Charlie had inherited his mother's appetite and his father's energy, so he answered enthusiastically in the affirmative.
"Jess, you can cover down here for a few minutes?"
Jess nodded, pulling out his notebook again, settling at the counter where he could keep an eye on the customers.
"Whaddya think, Charlie, climb or fly?"
"Fwy!" cried Charlie, waving the dishtowel like a superhero cape as Luke lifted him over his head and moved toward the staircase.
"Let's call Mommy and remind her what your favorite food is, too. She'll love to hear that. What's your favorite food again?"
"Tofu!" he squealed, spreading his arms like Superman flying as they went up the stairs.
A/N: There's one more chapter in me, but it's not finished yet. If you have any thoughts of a scenario you'd like to see, let me know.