Authors Note: Thanks for all the love! I appreciate all the support with this crazy story. I promise there really is a plot to this, there are just some things that have to be taken care of first. I appreciate your patience with the fluff.

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi is the owner of the Inuyasha Universe and its characters. One of these days I am going to find where she keeps Seshomaru hidden, and I am totally gonna keep him. LOL

Warning: This is rated M for Mature… if you aren't over the age of 18… Well, I'd be a hypocrite to say I wasn't reading and writing smut before I turned 18, but at least be smart about how you hide it ;)

Shout-outs:

nativebeautiie- Thanks for the kind words. Hope this was a quick enough update for you

Silverinu93- soft and squishy is important. Even the Killing perfection has a fluffy side ;)

.X- it's possible you've read the other one. I've started to stray quite a bit, but I will circle back round to some of it before I expand on some of the bigger plot pieces

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I sat on the cushions in front of the fire, Rin curled up beside me under a pelt for warmth. The ona lay behind me in the bed, asleep for the last three days. Rin had spent much of that time hovering over the woman, bringing her flowers and curling up with her on the bed. She had spent the last few evenings sleeping within close proximity of myself. This change behavior and the distinctive smell of fear clearly indicated she was worried about the woman. The tension in her small body seemed to ease when with me though, taking strength from my own ice and silence.

I reflected on the woman and her sudden black out a few nights back. The argument had clearly riled me. As she yelled and proclaimed herself to me, I had felt my youkai rise up.

Hers. Always hers.

It seemed to agree with the little miko's argument. It had purred at her declaration that she belonged to us, however hesitant she seemed to admit it. We were proud that she had come to accept it in some way. And while my mind had fought the concept of belonging to her, the youkai had simply purred in contentment. Clearly it had no problem being subjected to the whims of fickle and feeble ningen.

Strong. Mother. Survivor.

He didn't seem to agree with the logical assessment of her humanity.

Power. Ours. Perfect.

It seemed even more passionate about its choice. She had asked a question. The last three days I had dedicated myself to answering it. Watching her as I did so, I tried to recall every encounter with her.

Again and again she proved her loyalty and foolish bravery. She seemed fearless even in the most desperate of hours. She was even more dangerous when backed in a corner, she had truly been capable of some amazing feats.

Mother. Strong. Ours.

I rolled my eyes. The youkai nature was of the most primitive and basic mind. It circled around the same words again and again. Trying, endlessly, to convince me of her worth.

And she was worth something. She was unique. The only ningen to survive my wrath, the only miko truly capable of pure intentions, and she was of a different time. She had seen things none alive had yet seen. Privy to information, history, knowledge yet known to us. I wondered at the depth of that knowledge and whether it could truly be of use.

But still, these things were not the reason for my decision. But was it really my decision?

Ours. We made. Ours to take.

I wondered at the moment of first coupling and wondered if it weren't truly his decision. She had captivated me since having survived me at my father's grave sight. My youkai, having been tamed long ago, seemed afire when she was near. Uncontrollable, unwavering, and even unbeatable at times. The rage and emotions I had learned to bury so far below, seemed to break free more often as a result of this. She had clearly unhinged me in someway, but the last few years had taught me nothing about the how or why.

Truth. Seek. Power. Perfection.

More and more the youkai seemed to associate those words with her. As if she had been what I was searching for these last few hundred years. I had sworn, long ago, to find that perfection… to be better than my father. To build my power beyond him. When I thought of these things, my youkai presented her to me, as if in answer to a question I hadn't asked.

I heard her stir behind me, her breathing still even and slow. I sighed, waiting was not something I was accustomed to. I allowed my hand to fall on Rin's head as she snored lightly. I let my fingers trail through her hair as I contemplated the fire.

What answer was I to give to her? After having clearly overwhelmed her with my own emotions, how was I to proceed with our relationship? What kind of relationship was this supposed to be?

I frowned. Why was I worried about answering her questions? Was she not inferior to me?

STRONG! OURS! POWER!

The growl of the youkai seemed to clearly argue against that thought. So I was to accept her as equal? The ningen woman who had collared my brother and had out maneuvered Naraku again and again was to be my equal. My mate. The mother to my little pathetic half breeds.

Youkai! Power! OURS!

Clearly my own youkai did not agree with that assessment either. Logic seemed to win this fight, in my mind, but he had clearly gotten a different answer from the equation. Was there something I was missing? Trust the instinct, my father had always said. The inner self knows more than logic… but how? And to what degree?

Seek. Truth. Home.

I sighed and lifted my hand from Rin's hair. I lifted her into my arms delicately and rose from the cushions. I moved to place her beside the ona.

Ours.

I smirked. Yes, she was ours. I tucked Rin into the covers and brought my hand to trail over the miko's neck. I felt the delicateness of the skin beneath my finger tips, the pulse of blood, and the smell of ripened blossoms in the spring. I traced my mark on her neck and felt my youkai purr in pleasure, the image of her breasts heaving as she squirmed and rose beneath me.

I backed away slowly with new resolve. I would understand this ningen. I would understand this bond, this choice… I would know why my youkai insisted I mate with such a specimen and I would take whatever action necessary to rectify it if necessary.

I inhaled slowly and at great length one last time. The subtle tinge of sickness seemed to lace her scent. Fever was the likely cause. I could feel the rise in her temperature from a few feet away. I sighed one last time before turning toward the door. This was how it was going to be. My ningen mate suffering as I continued without her. I would fill her, again and again with pups and she would bear me half-breeds. I would watch as my proud familial blood was tainted by our union and our line eventually diminish into the dust as after our passing, surely the other demon lords would rise up and take it.

And with this depressing thought, I strode to the library, intent on finding the answers I sought. Desperate to find that my youkai had a better understanding of the world than I and that my nightmares wouldn't come to pass.

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

I remembered blackness. Falling, pain in my knees and then the sense of drowning. Drowning into nothing. And then…

Peace.

I don't know how long I dwelled in that place, in that feeling, before light seemed to overwhelm. Dreams, or what I thought were dreams, enveloped me and held me captive. Again and again I dreamt of the moon, of a large white dog with purple stripes and blood-red eyes. I dreamt of lights, thousands of lights, glowing as they rose into the heavens. I dreamt of faceless children and of happiness.

There was a whisper of words I could not recall, but they soothed me. I heard the growl of an animal and realized it came from me. I grasped at my throat, fear rising, and as I felt about to be consumed I felt the chill of ice wrap itself around me. I felt calm and serene. The fear gone, the words lost, and the memory of that animal forgotten.

And then I woke up.

I was laying in our fouton, the sheets wrapped around me, a warm body nuzzling into my side. I patted it with a hand and felt it stir beneath me. I felt stiff, as if I hadn't moved in days. I tried to raise myself to look around me, but a small hand pushed at my chest.

"No, no, Kagome-chan!" I looked at the small and beautiful face before me. Worry and fear were stitched into her brow, and I desperately wanted to sooth it away.

"W-wa…" I croaked softly. The scratch in my throat made me cough and after I did so, I wiped my brow. I felt the clamminess of my skin and wondered when I had fallen ill, and how long I had been knocked out.

Rin jumped quickly from my side though and plucked a cup of cooled tea to my lips. I sipped, thankful for the stimulant, but wishing it was hot and fresh.

"Rin will go get Seshomaru-sama. Kagome has made him worry. Rin was afraid too and slept by you every day." She smiled her beautiful smile and stood to leave. "Please do not move, Kagome-chan. You are ill."

I tried to nod, but as she left I felt myself begin to fall, again, into a tired sleep.

….

I woke again what must have only been a few minutes later. Seshomaru stood over me, his cold mask in place. Across the room, I watched as Hari prepared tea and I prayed inwardly.

"Kagome-san?" I turned my head to the sound of a new voice. "Kagome-san, I am Torin. I am the Lord's healer." The sound of the voice was gruff and slightly weathered. His face seemed to reflect the same, but there was kindness in it.

"N-nice to meet you, Torin-sama." My voice was shakey at best, but I could feel it becoming stronger with each word. I swallowed dryly and felt a bowl pressed into my left hand. Looking down, I saw that Rin had brought me water. I nodded and tried to sit up to drink. I felt strong hands grip my sides as I moved. I tried to shrug them off, and while Torin allowed his hands to slip from my right, Sesshomaru's grip on the left seemed to tighten. I looked at him stubbornly.

"Kagome-san, I'm going to ask a few questions. I just want to assess your awareness and to be assured that there are no negative consequences as a result of your rest." I nodded before taking a sip of water. "I am going to start with a few simple ones. What is your name?"

"Higurashi Kagome." My voice was stronger this time.

"How old are you?"

"I am 20 years old."

"What is the last thing you remember?"

I scowled for a second, thinking. I remembered peace and darkness. But that must have been while I was sleeping. I remembered falling to my knees, Sesshomaru gripping my wrist as he flooded my mind with images somehow. I swallowed thickly. Hadn't I blacked out?

"I remember arguing with Sesshomaru and then blacking out. After that, I'm pretty sure I was… I guess I was dreaming." I looked up at Sesshomaru. I remembered his emotions, the flood of his thoughts and that feeling of drowning in a sea of complex emotions. I didn't want to share that with Torin, but I tried to communicate that to Sesshomaru with my eyes. He seemed to understand because I got a soft incline of his head and then a hesitant feeling of warmth wrapped itself around me. I closed my eyes and sighed at the feeling. The way he wrapped himself around me made my knickers go wet. The thought of his mouth warming my chest instead of the feel of his emotions played around in my mind.

I must have somehow communicated those images to him, because I received first shock and then desire in response.

Torin cleared his throat, clearly aware of the conversation going on behind closed mouths. I saw a smile pull at his mouth.

"Your mind seems to be well, Milady. You have been unconscious for nearly four days now and during that time you seemed to have caught a fever. Your temperature hasn't seemed to drop, but for your temperature, your body seems to be in good health. I will look further into the cause of the fever, but as of right now, I am afraid to treat it without knowing the cause."

I thought about the many reasons that could cause a temperature to rise out of nowhere, but I couldn't seem to fit a description to my situation. I knew I wasn't going to be ovulating for atleast another week… I supposed I could have an infection, but I don't remember having had any symptoms prior.

I simply nodded at the healer and turned back to Sesshomaru, allowing confusion to lace my thoughts and emotions.

"Thank you, Torin, you may go." Sesshomaru spoke without lefting his gaze from mine. Torin bowed low and asked Rin if she would come help him pick some wild herbs. She seemed hesitant to join him at first, but ran over to hug me and Sesshomaru before heading out with the Healer.

I continued to look into those molten gold pools that were Sesshomaru's eyes. I watched as he breathed in deeply, his eyes closing slowly and a purr of pleasure escaping his chest.

"You smell divine." He spoke lowly. I bushed fiercely and wondered if he could smell my arousal. He must have anticipated this question though because he quickly gave answer. "I can smell your desire, little miko. It is heavy on the palette, thick… as if I could taste it on the air." He flicked a tongue out along his bottom lip as if to make his point. I groaned and felt the wetness between my legs become even more pronounced.

"Sesshomaru, I-" He opened his eyes and looked into mine again. I could see him fighting the battle with his youkai. His eyes were tinged with red, but I wasn't afraid. Something about it made me feel empowered and desirous. I wanted to feel him let go, to feel him take me completely. To feel him release the caged beast and allow it to pound into me senselessly…

"Miko, do not tempt this Sesshomaru." I could hear the growl in his voice and it surprised me.

"Wh-what do you mean?" I asked shakily. Surely the bond wouldn't-

"I saw that, miko. I saw the image of you bent over, your ass in the air as this Sesshomaru drove into you from behind wildly. I saw the tinge to my eyes and felt your desire for my youkai." He stated it so coolly, that I forgot to be embarrassed. I was enchanted by the way he could appear to be immune to my desires… but his emotions… the feelings washing over me told me a different story. He seemed to be holding some of it back, though. Was he afraid of overwhelming me again? Was his desire for me so great that he feared it causing me to collapse?

"Sesshomaru?" I waited. He blinked at me. I wanted to laugh. Communicating with Sesshomaru was requiring a whole new language of subtle facial expressions and eye movements. Some people used their hands or their voices to communicate, but Sesshomaru used his face. I wondered how many people truly saw it as openly as I did now. I couldn't remember such methods prior to our mating.

"Sesshomaru, what happened? I remember the conversation and then the wave of your emotions in my mind. But then there were those images. Is this normal? What else are we going to have to share with one another? I- can you look into my mind now? I…" I trailed off. I didn't know which question was the most important, and I felt like when I had one question answered, three more took its place. Was this going to be my new life? Battling the metaphorical hydra as I learned to live and love Sesshomaru? Could I love him?

He seemed to pause, unsure of what to say. I watched his face. He didn't give much away, but something in my gut told me he wasn't unsure of what to say… just how much.

"This Sesshomaru has done some research while you slept, little miko. I ha-"

"Kagome." I interrupted. He was so indecisive! Why couldn't he just stick to one name? I laughed to myself. As much as I wanted to be angry and frustrated, I found myself becoming more amused. He had said it multiple times, generally in what I was sure he would assume to be moments of weakness. I knew better, they weren't moments of weakness… just passion. I wondered if those were the moments when his youkai was closest to the surface? Was his conscious effort to use my title, rather than my name, an attempt to control himself or me?

"Hn. I have completed some additional research into the matter. From my recollection, my father and that woman had not suffered a similar connection. I looked into common ningen-inu mating histories and was unsuccessful in finding much information that was helpful. I looked for anything on miko-youkai mating and have found nothing thus far. I will work to correct this. Until we can garner information from somewhere, we will surely learn the extent of the bond as we continue in our… relationship." I felt my shoulders sag, slightly disappointed. Knowing that Sesshomaru was feeling the same didn't necessarily make me feel better. I had hoped that at least one of us would know what the hell was going on.

"This Sesshomaru, has made plans to visit an old advisor. I suspect he is likely to have some answers, however unpleasant." This time, I couldn't stop myself. I laughed.

"Ha! Was that a joke?" It felt good to laugh again. "Did the almighty Sesshomaru seriously make a joke?" I watched his face as I wiped away at the sudden tears in my eyes. I saw the near imperceptible lift of the corner of his mouth. He had smirked at me. I tossed my hands in the air before moving to slide out of bed.

"Who knew?" I asked no one in particular. "Who knew, the great Lord Sesshomaru had a sense of humor?" I felt my feet touch the ground and saw him standing in front of me, a slight scowl on his face."

"Do not mock me, miko." His voice was steady. I felt the slight lace of insecurity along the outside of our connection and I tried to sooth it away with my own warmth. I grasped at his hands in front of me and brought them to my face.

"Never, Sesshomaru. I would never mock you." I said it as comfortingly as I could, and hoped he could feel how genuine I was in making that statement. He was mine. I pushed that feeling of possession at him as I looked into his eyes. They had gone red, and I smiled up at him.

TBCTBCTBCTBCTBCTBCTBCTBCTBCTBCTBCTBCTBCTBCTBCTBCTBC

Note: Thanks guys for any and all feedback. Like most fanfiction writers, my life's blood is made of reviews… it is what gives life to inspiration and it doesn't hurt to build one's confidence. LOL.

I know this was a shorter chapter, but I was eager to update.

I still don't have a beta if there is anyone interested, shoot me a PM. And I am certainly open to feedback.

Hope everyone is doing well in the weeks leading up to the Holidays. I work retail, so I know I am going crazy. I feel like the Holidays have become an excuse for people to be nasty to one another and I wonder why that is? Isn't it supposed to be about kindness and stuff? I don't know. Just be nice to the people who help you. Remember that we have to see hundreds of shoppers every day and a good portion of them are nasty for no real reason. J

I will try and post again before next Sunday. Have a great week everyone!