"Let's get this over with," I said dispassionately. "Get a taxi and ship Soyo Hime to the palace. Get there, toss her out and done, we can then all go home."

"You can go home if you want, Sadist." Kagura said. "We're not going to just go the palace- how boring is that? No one wants you here, boring policeman. Go home!"

"Now, that's mean. My heart is hurt, so now you are arrested for attacking a policeman." I pull out a pair of handcuffs from my pocket. "Now be a good girl and turn around with your hands behind your back or I'll charge you with resisting the law."

"I've hailed a taxi," Nobume said in the midst of Kagura's complaints. She opened the door in the back and went in first, not before putting Soyo's suitcase in the trunk.

Soyo followed her and sat in the middle. Kagura finished the trio off and sat in the window seat behind shotgun. I went up front, buckled myself into my seat. "The shogun's palace. Ten thousand yen if you get there in fifteen minutes."

"OI." Kagura said, leaning forwards and tugging on my earlobes. "I said we were going to explore Kabuki-cho. Hey driver, go to the donut cafe."

From the rearview mirror I can see the Nobume's change of expression. Huh. I didn't even think she had any other face besides her blank, expressionless stare. She just went from cool to drooling over the thought of getting a Pon De Ring.

Should I let her keep that happy face on? Nah, it'll be way more fun to ruin it. And besides, that face annoyed the hell outta me. It was the face Hijikata made when he got his hands on some high quality mayonnaise.

"We are not going to the donut cafe," I said. To the driver I gave only one sentence: "Who is paying you, exactly, and if that's not enough I have a bazooka." As the driver paled and continued driving en route to the palace with slightly shaking hands, Kagura glared at the back of my head and I smirked.

"I need to take a dump," came as a whisper from Soyo.

... Poop your pants Soyo Hime.

I sat down at the tiny plastic table and watched as Nobume ordered what was probably a year's worth of donuts. Look at that- Soyo's out of the bathroom already. That "dump" sure was over quickly! If it had been any other girl I wouldn't care less if she shat herself but the Shogun's sister... Hijikata better give me a bonus after this. Oh, wait, I poisoned him.

I better get Hijikata's position of vice captain after this.

Kagura wobbled over balancing two huge cartons on each shoulder. I leaned out to trip her out of habit and Nobume's sword tip nearly sliced my toes off. I looked up at her deadly glare and felt my pulse quicken. I haven't had a good fight since... Since Hijikata took me on last night. It doesn't matter. I was itching for another one already.

To my disappointment, she ignored me and instead sat down to consume the donuts like they were air and she had been holding her breath underwater.

Likewise, Kagura followed her lead. Soyo, whom I had confirmed is the only "normal" girl of the trio, or at least the most normal, calmly and stately took little dainty bites.

I wonder if the served alcohol here because I sorely needed it.

I am just an average policeman. This car tried to catch a green light before a changed, narrowly missing my shiny, polished black policeman shoes, so I shot it to hell.

I am just an average, pissed off policeman. The light didn't change fast enough so I shot it to hell.

I am just an average, sadistic, and pissed off policeman. This girl next to me wasn't walking fast enough so I shot her to hell.

Which was why Soyo Hime is the hospital at the moment.

With love, Sougo

"With love, my ass!" Hijikata shrieked, tearing up the note in fury.