12 days ago.

After Rita's phone call she tried to reach him. Turns out Rick had changed his cell number without telling her. She found his new one or rather Ryan did. Rick still didn't answer. After some, well actually considerable pleading both red heads had tried too. But neither Alexis nor Martha could make contact. So she did the only thing she could. She went after him.

Once again she had dropped everything and rushed off. This time to DC. On learning that he was investigating well she couldn't take the chance.

At the time she did not think through why Gates had been so accommodating with her rushed request for immediately unpaid leave.

Dropping any pretense of separation and frantically trying to locate and protect her husband before his loyalty and stubbornness got him killed trying to fix things that shouldn't be broken.

She tracked him down to a small hotel on the Beltway. Under one of his alias' he had for the PI business. Using characters from his Storm novels was pretty passé Rick. But he was not there, seeming having actually managed to make it inside Langley according to Ryan's trace of his phone. She was still waiting for him when he returned to his room that evening. She had persuaded the clerk to let his wife into the room to surprise him.

It was definitely a surprise for everyone.

"Kate?"

"God Castle. What are you doing?" He was gone eleven hours and the frustration of waiting, of not knowing, of having no control had got to her.

"Trying to get my wife back. Or if not at least protect her."

"By exposing yourself to danger!?"

"You really don't get it do you Kate!? Did you simply spend too many years alone to ever break the habit of unthinking independence with no consideration for others?"

"Castle."

"I am pretty sure I have nothing else to say Kate. God this is so messed up."

"At least tell me what you found? Please?"

"Well isn't that just illuminating. No greeting. No kiss. No apology for ripping our marriage and my heart apart. Just more questions above evidence for your case. You know that is awfully familiar."

"Rick."

"No. You don't get it do you Kate? Partners. We were meant to be together. But you choose otherwise. And right now I don't have the time to deal with this. With you."

"Rick?"

"I have to go. I have a flight back to New York. Apparently I have a number of press engagements I need to attend as I need to promote my new book and also deal with fact that my wife left me is now public knowledge."

"What?!"

"Cops gossip. Press pick things up and then there are the pictures."

"What pictures?"

"You and that man!"

"Rick."

"Surprisingly enough Kate I trust you with that. I don't believe you are cheating on me."

"Thank you."

"You shouldn't because even though I know you are not cheating, you are destroying our marriage. Although I am not sure how I'll explain where my wife went. Or Why. Especially the last, as I don't understand that myself."

"Rick." She wants to tell him. But here in DC, so close to Locksat, that act seems even more of a bad idea than before.

"Goodbye Kate."

He pulls his compact roller from the wardrobe and moves towards the door.

"Oh and Beckett. For the record, I found out nothing. None of my contacts were forthcoming. Either they don't know or they aren't saying anything regardless, so same difference.

"It is all for nothing. And do you know how hollow that makes me feel?"

He left her there. That was the last time she had spoken to or seen him in twelve days.

Alexis had simply excommunicated her after learning of her encounter with Rick in Washington and the fallout from the TV interviews and the 'candid' shots of her and Vikram leaving the motel broadcast and published with the humiliation for her father. Far worse than the viral book advert. No contact. Nothing.

Even Martha declined her calls.

Ryan and Esposito were under strict orders not to assist in any way or form. And for once they were following orders.

Lanie still took her calls but it was strained.

Rick changed his number again. She still tried calling. He still didn't answer.

Remaining behind in DC she eventually managed to get Martin Danberg, now a Deputy Director to meet her. But he made it clear only because of the work Castle and her did on the Pandora case. He had nothing to add and possesses such a game face he could lie about what day it was and she would never know.

After Danberg she gets exactly nowhere. Except if nothing else, she learns that being an ex-federal agent fired for leaking confidential information to the press, and a NYPD Captain on leave, opens absolutely no doors. Quite the contrary.

Still she is reluctant to head back to New York. To admit defeat.

But then Vikram drops off the radar too. Doesn't respond to calls to any of the burner phones, email or even his cover role. So she has to go back. Too much of a coward to admit to herself that she'll go for someone she barely knows and not her husband.

She is carrying her few belongings to the rental outside her motel.

"Hello Kate."

She gets her gun clear of her holster as she spins but the person is too close. Her gun goes flying landing with a clatter behind her. She considers her backup but halts as she recognises her surprise visitor.

It is Rita. Castle's Step-mother. Or at least that who the woman claims to be. Something she had never been able to verify. Not that she could anyway. But only recently has she started to rethink her approach, to ask the questions, before crashing headlong into something. Whether it is too late troubles pretty much every waking moment now.

"I told you how it was. How it would be."

"There is no sign of them. The leads just disappear. Not one lead to anything meaningful." Kate cannot hide her frustration.

"Nor will there ever be."

"What do you mean?"

"It has been taken care of."

"What!?"

"Kate." She really doesn't appreciate being talked down to, like an unruly child. "Did you really think the CIA, the government was going to let it all come out in public. Wash their dirty laundry in full view of the world. This isn't some TV show. They don't do light drama or comedy.

"Locksat was identified and detained a week ago. They were interrogated. And then well you can join the dots."

"It was for nothing? All of this? Everything I've lost. For nothing." She feels sick.

"No Kate, you are the one who made it that. I tried to warn you."

"You played me!" There is not as much venom in there as she would have normally projected. Because she knows what comes next.

"Not as much as you played yourself." And she did. Sucker punched by her own demons. And Rita did warn her.

"I'll admit it was useful. You provided such a great distraction. Not so much down the rabbit hole as a hare for the chase. Locksat focused on you and whilst they were distracted we closed in, and got them.

"So I guess we owe you a thank you for the assist. For smoking them out."

"Doesn't sound like it. At least tell me. Who were they? Why did they do this?"

"Nope. You don't get to know Beckett."

"Not even gender, a name?"

"Nothing."

"No reason why?"

"This has taken a massive effort on the clean-up. Too many awkward questions being asked everywhere. In part no thanks to your and Richard Castle. That press conference."

She doesn't say husband. Or even partner.

"Yeah like how does a man in solitary get shanked? With every camera in a prison mysteriously disabled? How does an entire team of elite federal agents get taken out without a massive reaction both in the news and by law enforcement? How does an assistant AG get set up as a patsy and no one cares? Teams of armed mercs shooting it out in one of the most heavily policed cities in the world, and yet barely a mention?"

Oh Shit!

"Are you only just realising that you were out of your league with this one Kate?"

"You know you are now considered a loose end. Some wanted to clean you up too. But ironically if Locksat never considered you a real threat, then, well the government or at least those agencies charged with national security don't either. So lucky you. And anyone else who may connect or possibly still care about you."

"But…"

"Beckett, the simple truth of the matter is that Locksat wanted Vikram. Not you. You were no threat to them. If you were they would have taken you out before you even knew there was a danger. Before you first cup of coffee for the day."

"No. That can't be right."

"They would have settled for Vikram. You only moved back on Locksat's radar because you went to Vikram's aid and gunned down his retrieval team."

"Fuck it."

"Quite apt really Kate," the gaze holds no pity, no emotion at all, "you really did fuck it up."

"So what do I do now?"

"Not my problem."

"What!?" She takes a breath, "Please Rita. I need help."

"Yes you do. But none forthcoming from me. You were warned. It this line of work, you only get one. If you are lucky. Same with most things in life really."

Shit! She really has to get back to New York now.

Author's Note

Turns out this is not complete. More to come.

UPDATE - Reviews are most welcome. Ranting is okay (I know I've felt like it) but it should be respectful and polite.