Having left Jethro behind, I went home, and sat in the study trying my hardest not to cry. All I could see in my mind was the sad look that Jethro had given me as I walked away from him. I knew I had made a massive mistake, but it was all I could do. I poured myself a drink of Bourbon and then as I put the bottle down, having tried since the conversation in the lift not to, I broke down, and started sobbing. The sound of my tears echoed around the empty house, and I had never felt so alone. Suddenly I wished I had someone I could call, someone I could talk to. But my whole life had been my work; I didn't have many friends. The only people I could call my friends, were all at NCIS and I couldn't talk to them about Jethro, because they had been my co-workers until about 2 hours ago, and they might talk to the Director and Jethro could end up getting into trouble.

I sat sobbing, alone, until I couldn't cry anymore and then as I started to calm down, I started to look through the paperwork for my work at The Pentagon. I was almost excited about moving to my new job. It would be a new place, a new world, a new start. It would be interesting and I would (hopefully) enjoy the change of scenery. But Jethro he was the first thing that came into my mind. I would miss him more than anything, but it was for the best. He was the only person I had ever loved, but I knew I had to leave him behind.

I stayed up late, looking through papers and getting ready for the next day. I knew that I had a busy day ahead of me tomorrow. I tried to have a relaxing bath, to calm myself whilst, listening to my favourite music, and drinking Bourbon. After trying my hardest to relax myself, I finally went to bed, but it was a long time until I finally slept.

The next day I woke up to the sound of my alarm wailing at me; encouraging me to face reality and my new job…. With that thought I sat up and quickly got out of bed to get ready. I got dressed as quickly as I could, in some of the smartest clothes I have got. At about 8 o'clock that morning, I got into the car with my coffee in my mug and my heart in my throat. I went to work at The Pentagon.

I already knew numerous people in The Pentagon through my dad's previous job there. I walked into the reception and when the secretary saw me she immediately smiled at me "You alright, Jen?"

"Yeah Amelia, how are you?"

"Yeah I'm good, darling. So, you took the job offer then?"

"Yes I did. Follow my father's example and I suppose it was time to move on from NCIS."

"Well, do you remember where the Director's office is?"

"I believe I do, but you might as well walk with me, just to keep things professional and proper." I ended that with a little wink.

"Yeah professional…. You just want a chance to catch up, don't you Jenny?" and she gave me a little knowing smile. I had always got on well with Amelia.

"Yeah. I do really." And then I gave a little laugh. "You know me too well Amelia."

"Yes, I do Jenny, so how have you been? Any progress in your…" A slight pause and I knew what to expect. "Love life?" and she looked at me expectantly. Suddenly I realised that I did have someone I could talk to about everything, because quite a few years ago, Amelia had been in a relationship with a co-worker and she also had to break it off.

"How about you come over to mine after dinner tonight and we can have a proper catch up session?" I smiled, hoping that I now had a friend.

"Sounds absolutely wonderful. Want to meet me down here after work and I will follow you after work in my car." We arrived outside the Director's office.

"Okay hun, see you later. By the way good luck, and welcome to the Pentagon."

"Thanks Mia" I used her old nickname and she smiled and opened the door to the office.

"Special Agent Shepard, lovely to finally meet you." Andrew Woods, Director of The Pentagon, turned to me and smiled. "Take a seat" I walked in and sat down at the table that looked incredibly similar to the old director's office at NCIS "So glad that you agreed to come and join us here at The Pentagon. I have a particular mission that I need your help with and I would like you to go straight into that mission if you please, or would you prefer to get to know your co-workers before your first mission."

"May I know the details of the mission before I start, and then decide? Or is it need-to-know?"

"Yes you may, Agent Shepard. Although it is need to know, but you will be one of the agents taking the mission, whether you start now or tomorrow."

"Wonderful. Want to give me a basic overview before I look at the paperwork?" It felt good to have another case to focus on. It distracted me from my thoughts.

"Okay, well it involves some international arms dealers, and one of them may be a colleague inside this building."

Later that day, after numerous meetings and agreeing to go through with the mission that Director Woods had assigned, I left my work station and walked down to the reception. It was a relief saw Amelia waiting for me as arranged. "Hello, you look tired and it's only your first day."

"Yeah, I'm involved in a very busy mission, already." I sighed and pulled my keys out of my hand bag. "You had a good day?"

"Yeah, it was the usual. So where did you park your car? Mine's around back."

"Same here. Let's go." We walked around the back, chatting about our day, and when we got to our cars, we separated and went to our cars, and as I drove back to my home, I smiled and sang along to the music in my car.

I pulled into my drive and saw Amelia park on the road behind me. I got out of my car and waited for her to walk to me and then as we walked up to my front door and I quickly unlocked the door, I said "It's not much, but…" and then I opened the door, and ushered her into my home. "Blimey, I always did love this house, but why do you still live here, when you live alone? You could sell this place and get thousands for it." I walked into the living room and Amelia followed me, and I motioned for her to sit down in an armchair, whilst I moved some of my clothes and other belongings that I had thrown around the house in my hurry to get ready for work.

"I will never sell this house, it's all I have of my mother and father and it has been in my family for thousands of years." I looked at the photo of my mother and father that I had on my coffee table in the living room. Amelia looked at me sadly.

"I'm sorry." Amelia said softly.

"It's okay, no need to apologise. It happened a long time ago." I walked into the kitchen, and heard Amelia get up and follow behind me. "Anyways, how have you been getting on over the last few years?" I put the kettle on and looked her. "Want a coffee?"

"Please darling. And yeah it's been good."

"You still with that boyfriend of yours?"

"No, that relationship went… well badly."

"Don't most these days?" I sighed, still distracting myself making coffee for us.

"Hey, Jen?" I heard a slight smile in Amelia's voice. "Who's this?" I turned around and saw Amelia looking at a photo; one of me and Jethro from Paris. I walked across the room quickly and took the photo out of Amelia's hands. It was taken by another tourist whilst Jethro and I were at a coffee shop in Paris, and the very start of our mission in Paris, before everything got complicated and reality got in the way.

Flashback

"Jethro, promise me that it will always be this way, us holding hands, together." Jethro looked at me in surprise.

"Jenny, us going back to Washington, when we do, won't mean the end of us. I love you and I always will." I looked into his eyes adoringly and he bent and kissed me gently.

"I love you too." I said softly when he pulled away, like it was a precious secret that had to be protected with one's life. As I laid my head against his shoulder, I heard a camera shutter and saw a flash. I looked up sharply to see a teenage girl roughly 16 years of age pointing a camera at Jethro and I. She looked at us and took the photo out of the camera shyly.

Passing the photo to us she said "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude and interrupt." She had a lovely British accent. "It's just you looked at each other with such love, it was the perfect picture and I couldn't resist." Jethro took the photo and looked at it closely before showing it to me. He then looked up at the girl.

"What's your name?"

"Laura, sir." I smiled slightly at that, and so did Jethro. I then looked down at the photo in my hand. Laura was right; the moment had been the perfect moment for a photo.

"My name's is Jethro and this is Jenny. This is a beautiful photo."

"Thank you."

"Jenny." I heard a female saying my name. "Jenny!" I could recognise the voice, but I couldn't remember a name… who was it? I knew that voice…

"Jenny!" I blinked a couple of times, and looked around. Then I saw Amelia, standing in front of me, looking at me like she thought I was going to pass out. "Finally. Are you okay Jen?"

"Yeah I am okay. I was just daydreaming. Anyway this is Jethro and I in Paris. I went undercover with him in Paris before I came to the Pentagon. I actually got back from Paris yesterday."

"Oh, he looks like a lover."

"We were lovers. That's what I wanted to talk to you about." I put the photo away in a draw and then went back to the coffee and passed Amelia her coffee. Then we went into the living room and sat down.

"So you wanted to talk to me about it all, because I had a relationship with a co-worker before?" Amelia said, but she didn't sound offended. She sounded like she was trying not to laugh.

"Well yeah, I was hoping you would be able to give me advice on what's the best thing to do." I looked at her worriedly.

She looked at me for a moment before taking a deep breath and saying "When you are in love/ in a relationship with a co-worker your first reaction is to walk away, because of your jobs and because you both believe it won't work. Mainly because stereotypically they don't." I watched her knowing that what she was saying is the truth; that was exactly what I had done. "But," Amelia continued and she looked directly into my eyes. "I believe that in any relationship, you should follow your heart and do what feels right to you. If you love someone, then tell them and be with them before you lose them." I sighed and looked at the floor. "So tell me, what has happened between you and your man."

"Well that's just the thing, Mia. He isn't my man anymore." And then again I broke down into tears and just put my head in my hands and sobbed. Mia came over to me and put her arm around me.

"Let me guess, Jen. You told him no because of your jobs. But then you moved to the Pentagon; so what's in your way now? You aren't co-workers anymore. So go and see him, otherwise you will lose him for good."

"I can't" I sobbed. "I've already screwed up. I told him no, even when I told him that I was moving to the Pentagon." Then cutting through the silence, I heard my old phone; my old work phone; from NCIS. I just sat and stared at the phone as it rang.

"You going to get that Jen?" I got up slowly and then the incoming call cut off and I knew that the call had gone to voice mail.

"I don't understand." I said, partially to myself, but also to Mia. "That phone was my one that I used for work calls at NCIS, only my fellow NCIS agents had the phone number for that phone."

"So one of your old co-workers are calling you. What's bad about that? Maybe they want to meet up for a coffee. You worry too much, Jen." I laughed slightly.

"You're right. And I walked over and picked up the phone, and then walked back over to the sofa. "I'll keep it next to me in case they phone me back." As if by fate, the phone went off again. I looked at Mia who nodded at me, and then, without looking at the number, for fear I would lose my nerve, I answered the call. "Shepard"

"Where are you, Jen?" It was Jethro.

"I am at home, Jethro." I looked at Mia, who smiled slightly. "Why are you calling me Jethro? Are you drunk?"

"I miss you, Jen."

I stopped still and didn't know what to say. "Jethro…" and then the phone cut off. I put the phone down on the coffee table and looked at Mia and quickly composed myself "He was drunk. He said some silly things."

"You can't fool me Jen. What did he say?" I sighed. She was right, I couldn't fool her.

"He said he misses me." I said. And I felt my heart grow heavy and I knew that no matter what I told people or even what I told myself, I missed him too. "But he was drunk, it probably wasn't true."

"Go and see him. It's Friday night and I can see in your eyes that you miss him too. So go and see him. Anyways I have duty tonight."

"It never ends, huh? Okay well you need to go to work." I looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was nearly nine o'clock at night. "Blimey, where did the time go? I have stuff to do as well."

"Yeah and that is that you need to go and see your man."

"He isn't my man, Mia. And I can't really go and see him because he is drunk and I have things to do."

"Jen, you only live once. You love him and I believe he loves you. He is drunk, but he misses you. I did what you are doing and now the guy I love is married and has a child on the way, and I just got out of a relationship I hated and got abused in. You have all weekend to do whatever else. Just go and see the man you love."

"Oh my goodness, I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you. Okay I'll go and see him."

"Good girl. Ring me later and let me know how it went."

"I will do."