Epilogue
23 months later
The final Nikki Heat novel catches everyone on the hop. After all it is more than three years since the last one. Materializing out of the blue, Black Pawn had been successful with their full stealth mode approach, and there was not a whisper until the books shipped to stores and appeared online ready for shipping.
The reaction catches all by surprise. Just like the tale itself - for Nikki Heat's documented adventures do not conclude in any formulaic manner, and the book is so open ended, it has many in the press flummoxed on how to judge and review it. Not so the readers, and just a week after launch it tops the charts and eventually stays there for five more weeks. After a long hiatus Nikki Heat fan fiction erupts in response. Rumors abound of a TV spin off. Maybe even a movie.
Demand builds for the author to come forward. Almost three years had passed since his last media mentions – aside from the obligatory 'Where are they now?' references which had eventually petered out more than a year ago. Two weeks after the sneak launch it is announced there will be a press event. Richard Castle will make an appearance. The first in almost three years.
The event is scheduled for another five weeks later. It brings out a big crowd - the curious and the fans, press and public alike. When he steps out of a limousine with a familiar, tall brunette on his arm, both wearing matching wedding rings, the striking couple steal not just Page Six, but the front-page in their (former) home town. The pair are gracious and polite but decline any questions related to their prolonged absence.
Lanie was offered a chance to attend. There was a time she would have leapt at the chance but she had declined. Instead she got to stay home with her 'nephew' who loves nothing more than to snuggle with his 'Auntie' Lanie. Okay pretty much anyone will do, James will snuggle with anyone, but he had a definite preference for a snuggle partner with boobs. A category she definitely qualifies for, even more so than James' mommy - who had blossomed in that area much to her husband's appreciation. Rick may be silently smug about all things boob related but sensibly doesn't make an issue of it.
Lanie manages to catch a web stream from the event, and sits in front of her laptop with James squirming on her lap until he catches sight of his parents, and stills for the moment.
Beside her, her fiancé snores gently. Another extended shift at the hospital draining Guy. But when he wakes he'll be a good and attentive uncle for James, and once again Lanie will ask herself why they're waiting for their own first-hand experience of all this.
She glances down at the 'rock' than adorns her ring finger. Turns out having Rick Castle, correction Rodgers, take your boyfriend ring shopping is a good thing. They had left the girls at Lanie's home with James and were back inside three hours, the ink barely dry on the hand written receipt from the store, her boyfriend so excited he couldn't wait, despite being made to stop for 'timeout' coffee on the way back. And then Guy had dropped to one knee before her, she had been so surprised Kate had stepped in and lifted James out of her arms so Guy could have access to her hand. It had been all she had wanted, and having her best friends witness the moment with their own silent tears was the icing on top.
"Dadeee. Momeee!" And James has her back in the moment as he shouts to his parents.
"Yes sweetie, there's Daddy and Mommy. Can you wave and blow kisses?" The boy follows her commands and if by fate it is the moment both Rick and Kate face the camera and blow kisses of their own. They're an incredibly handsome couple.
James is content for a moment before the wiggling resumes but they manage to watch through to the end of the red carpet before from her lap comes stillness and silence. Uh oh. Then a grunt. Definitely trouble. She has to move now. Before the tears and the wailing. James is such a contented child. Except when he fills his nappy. Then it just has to be changed that instant. No ifs or but(t)s.
Sighing she stands, and flips him around to get his bottom as far away from her as possible. She'll have to deal with it anyway.
"Good thing everybody loves you Baby. Even if you have the worst timing."
Which was true. Kate had recently confessed to her that she thinks her son has had training from his 'uncles' based on his unerring ability to interrupt 'mommy and daddy time'. Lanie knows because Kate and Rick are planning to have another child and have been working on it.
After changing him, and a bottle, James settles into his travel cot, his 'blanky' and 'bar' (bear) snuggled in with him. He electric blue-green eyes finally closing. Ensuring the monitor is on she sneaks back into the living room to her fiancé who doesn't even notice. She wonders if this is what it will be like once they have kids. Sacked on the sofa sleeping off their exhaustion. She looks forward to finding out.
She needs to catch up with Kate for some girl time. Kate and Rick had moved closer to Boston as James neared term and have bought a nice house in a gated private estate but she has her job in New York and doesn't get much free time to visit as she would like. This is only Rick and Kate's third time back in New York since they both returned to the US. Perhaps she could take a weekend with Guy and go visit the happy family. Get Rick to distract Guy, or James, and get Kate alone for some advice on how to progress the baby making. Especially as she knows her best friend has already moved past the planning stage again, and is going to surprise Rick tonight after the book party. Lanie is only privy to the secret as it was her blood test that morning which confirmed Kate's suspicions.
The last time she had decent girl-talk was on that first weekend she visited them near Martha's Vineyard.
Flashback
Alexis had taken her father outside and Lanie was never more grateful for the smart, intuitive young woman.
"Okay you got me alone Lanie. Ask away."
"You never told me what you and Rick discussed at that meeting in New York?"
"Wow, and here was me thinking you'd ask about all the places we had sex."
"Oh we'll get to that. But back to my question."
"Okay but it goes no further."
"Of course."
"We lost sight of what made us so great. Especially me." Oh this is not good, the tears already. Kate shakes off her attempt to offer a tissue.
"Becoming Captain only exacerbated the differences. Yes change can be good. But this wasn't the good sort. Trying to change things up, only mixed things up for us.
"We've always been better together. But we weren't so much together.
"He told me I could still be independent, and fearless, and extraordinary. And then I broke everything. Even by trying to keep him safe. I should have trusted him. All those years and I still kept secrets."
"So what happened Kate?"
"I pushed him to his limit. Past it. The one man who had always chosen to be by my side." She takes a moment to steady herself.
"That day when he asked to meet. He asked me to choose Lanie."
"Him or my career." Wow pretty big ultimatum.
"But there was choice for him too. He was willing to give up New York, his family, and Nikki Heat – at least for a while."
"Why not tell people?" We would have been happy for you. Supported you.
"I understand that. But we were so fragile, and were for a while. You can't just rebuild what was broken between us in a matter of minutes. No matter how much you still love each other. Nothing so pat or storybook. Like on a TV show.
"We needed that time together. Privately. I had a lot to prove to Rick, and to myself."
"So why leave separately? Why travel separately?"
"Rick had things to do before he could leave."
"So why don't you start with what he asked of you."
"We met at this diner..."
"Kate, this is the most selfish thing I have every asked. I want you to choose."
"Choose?"
"I want you to choose me. To be your first concern. Over your career. Over everything else. That's what marrying is about. Sure you expand families but you also start a new one, and focus on that. And that's what I want to do. All I've wanted to do with you.
"I never wanted to make this about the job or the danger. God, you know me, I fell in love with Detective Beckett first, Kate came later.
"I totally get Bracken. I never asked you to not pursue it. Only to be safe. I was with you on that. Until you couldn't back off despite the risk. I walked away. I regret that. But ultimately it bought us together. Forever, I hoped…."
"Then there was 3XK and Neimen. They were a threat to us. We weren't safe until they were gone.
"But this latest one. You were with them – the Attorney General's task force - a mere matter of months. They sacked you for doing the right thing. I know you respected McCord for what she achieved but she wasn't your friend, let alone family. And yet you gave us, me included, up for a crusade that wasn't yours.
"So yes I want you to choose. Choose me, choose us, choose a lifetime together, choose a family. Choose safety."
"Oh" Wow.
The silence lasts some time. She needs her tears to be under control before she responds.
"Rick it is also the bravest thing you have ever asked of me. In the past, when faced with those choices I have always put my independence, my career ahead of the relationship. First with Will, and then with Josh. And I thought I could balance that with you. It worked for a while. And then when it didn't, I - and probably you too - made the mistake of thinking that changing it up would get us back to the way we were."
His fingers instinctively intercept her tears on her cheeks. The connection between them still so intense.
"I was wrong."
"We were both wrong Kate. But we have the means to choose a different path. We're more than financially independent."
"So what are you asking Rick? I need to be clear here. I'm pretty much willing to do anything at this point. To try and salvage our marriage. So what do you want me to do?"
"Run away with me Kate." He's totally serious.
"Well without me at first. I can't just up and leave, much as I would like. Perhaps if I hadn't mistakenly fled to Canada for a while, I might be more set. But I let my mother – who only had the best intentions – get to me and…"
"Yes."
"Yes?"
"Rick, unlike when you proposed, I'm not conflicted, or perhaps even surprised."
"I came here today, willing, desperate even, to have any chance of fixing us. Of repairing what I have broken. I take full responsibility for that. You fought for us for a long time. This is me fighting back." There is a hint of a smile on her face, and she wills herself to keep on topic, "No. Sorry. Fighting with you." He smiles again, this time deeper and there is teeth. "Argghh. Fighting alongside you. For us. For a future. So my answer is yes."
She thinks that maybe for the first time today, he's the surprised one.
"I'll go see Gates tomorrow and tender my resignation. I have a two week notice period. How ready are you? You said it will take you some time. How long?"
"Um. It will take me a bit longer than two weeks. I wasn't sure."
She reaches with her fingers to touch his lips. Halt his confession. She wants to spare him the anguish of once again voicing his doubts. He surely has them but she doesn't want him to hurt himself anymore by admitting them unnecessarily. Especially for her. This actually might be a moment of epiphany. Why he was quiet all those times, especially in the early days and with the other men, especially Josh. He's such a good man. He'll stay quiet rather than knowingly inflict hurt or cause conflict for someone he loves. Not until pushed to breaking point, but he's done it for her plenty of times in the past. So it time for her to step up and be his equal.
"Rick I want you to have faith. I know it is going to take time. But this is my promise to you. With you or without you with me, my heart is yours. And yours alone."
"Until we have a child."
"Sorry what?!" Okay, he caught off guard again.
"A kid. Our child. I can tell you now that it is a promise you'll have to break. One I want you to break."
"You want a kid, kids, with me Rick?"
"Yes. Of course Kate." His gaze is so intense she can feel the desire radiating off him. "For the longest time. We've talked about it a few times but never in detail. I want to do that this time. Really talk about it."
"Okay."
"Remember what I said about making a new family. I want that. I want it all. With you. That includes making new life. I want to create a new family with you. It won't change how we love. Except maybe to make it better. All I ever wanted with Alexis was a partner to share everything with. Meredith baled in more ways than one and Gina well that was a mistake, twice."
"You'd do that for me Rick?"
"Of course. I'm totally in love with you Kate. I have been so long, and it has ruined me. Not just because I can't love any other woman. And for me, having more children, that is selfish too. I love being a dad. Of course Alexis is pretty much past the needy stage. But I'd do it all again if it could be with you."
"At this stage of life when you could be independent with nothing to hold you back. We could travel the world together, no encumbrances?"
I'll admit that it appeals on many levels. And we'll do a lot of that over the next year. At least I hope we will. But what I really want is a family with you Kate. God, you've faced enough tragedy and trauma in your life. I want happiness for you. For us. For us to build a home and fill with light, and laughter and love. We've earned that. You're still the most extraordinary person I've met. Not being a cop won't change that."
"Rick. I'd be more than honored. I'd be some grateful that you could let me back in."
"You we never out Kate. Not where it mattered to me. What I wanted was for it to matter to you. But I don't want you to be full of regrets."
"It won't be Rick. Leaving the NYPD, Rick? It's been at the front of my mind for some time.
"I haven't being enjoying what I do. I've come to realize that I'm no captain. And I just want to be your wife. I thought we had lost that and pretty much any opportunity to fight for us. I thought whatever I could beg for in the NYPD would be it for me."
"Oh Kate. Never."
"So what do we do now?"
"I want us to get away from New York. Anyway from anything that could interrupt us."
"I think I know what you mean." She can't help smile at some of the memories. Rick own returns in kind.
"God, the number of times Esposito.."
"or Ryan." She interjects.
"Yeah Ryan. Not sure which was worse. Ryan so clueless, and well Espo I think sometimes he did it knowingly. I would have kissed you that day. When I said you smelled of cherries."
"I would have let you." She confesses. "Probably kissed you right back."
He sighs and then reaches into his jacket emerging with a folded piece of paper.
He pushes the paper towards her.
"What's this?"
"Our bucket list of destinations."
Oh she remembers that. An evening in the Hamptons, wine, nibbles, a roaring fire and arguing back and forward for hours in between two bouts of lovemaking. A much happier time.
Places they both wanted. Places she wanted. Ones he wanted to go.
"A year Kate. I want us to give it a year."
"A year?"
"It will take me at least a month, maybe two months to finish up some things I need to do here. I hope it will be quicker. Then we'll meet up. But in the meantime I want you to make a start without me."
He pushes his right hand through his hair, disrupting the already tussled locks. "I want you away from the temptations, the damn rabbit holes that you can't resist. I want to trust you Kate. I do. But you're an addict, and I want you to be better for us. To live a long and happy life. Instead you seemingly choose danger and misery.
"Rick…"
"I haven't finished."
His tone is sharp, and probably the most forceful he has spoken to her since the events leading to her hanging from a roof calling his name. She had promised him that she just wanted him. God she had broken that promise so many times. Not in the cheating sense since for both of them there was no other embodiment of their desire than each other, but in other equally significant ways.
"So I need you to choose. To leave. On your own at first. I will follow as soon as I can. And we'll fight for this." He's fingering his ring. She's wearing hers too. She hasn't taken it off since her return to New York. Never wants to take it off. But that's a decision they'll both need to be part of. To reach that point this is what she needs to commit to.
"After a year we'll make the call. Return home, perhaps not to New York. But back in the US. Hopefully starting our family."
"So what do I do?"
"Be my wife. Let us be a family. Have our happy ending. It's the way I'd write it for Nikki and Rook. It's the future I want for us."
"God, I never thought I would ask this of anyone, let alone you. I'm not that guy. I respect woman and their choices and independence. But Kate for us to work, to have any chance, those are the choices I need you to make. I want you to make them. But…."
Oh her heart breaks just that little more for him. And it's all her own doing.
"But if you decide you can't, then I will do my best to understand. I won't contest anything, nor lay blame, or" Her hand stops his lips. Fingers stilling his words before they tear her heart asunder any further.
"You don't have to Rick. You've always done your best. And my answer stands. Yes. I choose you. I choose us and I'll fight for that anyway I can." She can feel his relief, "But before we can seriously consider children we need to ensure that what I've broken can be healed and strong enough to last. I want us to both be certain before we add our children to the mix."
"Okay. That's a good point." He grins. "You said 'children' Kate."
"I know but don't get distracted by that just now."
"You know me, how it will distract me, I'll fixate on that word. How long will it take? For us to know Kate?"
"I don't know but I am willing to find out if you are Rick?"
"Sign me up Kate." His hands grip hers. Committed. Their eyes steady on each other.
"But I will miss it though."
"What? Miss what Rick?"
"Calling you by your rank."
"You did make 'Detective' sound sexy. "
"I did. And I loved your last title."
"Yeah well it turns out I wasn't much of a captain."
"Don't care now. I have high hopes you'll make a great wife."
"I really hope I can. I've got a hell of a lot to live up to."
"I've got every faith in you Kate. I once called you extraordinary. I wasn't wrong. I want my partner in life back."
"I need one thing from you Rick."
"Kate?"
"This." She rises and leans across the table, their hands still joined, and her lips caress his, putting everything into the connection until they both need oxygen.
"I'm ready now. Let's do this."
Author's Note
Back in Chapter 5 – a couple of reviews wished there was more talking especially at the meeting that precipitated Kate's resignation from the NYPD and departure from New York. So here it is.
Thank you to all the readers and especially those who took time to review.
Back to 'One of Us'. I really want to focus on that and see how much progress I can make in concluding that tale.
[Update]
1. Apologies for the typo's and errors in the first published version. I wrote a chunk of this whilst suffering from a high fever. Spell check does not beat/fix fried-brain. I think I fixed the majority/worst ones.
2. Yes, it may not be a traditional epilogue in some ways, but there is plenty of information in there for the story to end for me.
3. In this story Rick is asking Kate to commit to them and walk away from the sink-hole and danger of her job in law enforcement. What she does in the future is not addressed in this story (which has long overrun its original concept) other than not be a senator or seek out a legal profession. There are plenty of things Kate Rodgers can choose to do in the future with the support of her husband and family without being demeaned by seemingly becoming the 'little woman'. She has a toddler and is pregnant with her second child, even with the active support of a great partner, that's a big load. One she will want to deal with first-hand and not buy in help. I can see her having many options for personal fulfillment, especially once the children have both reached school age - but that is not for this story. Hell, maybe she was the proof-reader for Rick's latest works anyway.
4. Elements of the dialog and plot may have been aimed at refutting/mocking part of the Season 8's so-called 'change-up' plot. Just in case you missed it.