Authors note: This got a bit bigger than I had planned as it seemed the right time to include a request for a scene from the diner when Henry defends Regina against the Merry Men. And as I had promised to get to Storybrooke in this chapter I didn't want to end before they arrived.
Hope the diner scene flashback meets expectations of Henry 'channelling some Mills Anger" (for those that requested it). *Spoiler* There is a scene coming up in Storybrooke where Henry will again defend his mom and if this scene doesn't cut it let me know and I'll step it up for that one.
All the usual disclaimers apply and thanks for follows, favs and the like. Enjoy :)
The drive to Storybrooke was nothing if not tense. Robin and Regina took turns driving and sleeping, or in Regina's case pretending to be sleeping and wishing she was anywhere but in a confined space with her estranged soul mate. Henry focused on keeping his little sister amused while she was awake and worrying about Emma when she was asleep. And Lainey, though completely unaware, served as the ultimate buffer for them all – managing to keep Regina's anxiety, Robin's guilt and Henry's worry all at reasonable levels with her smiles and chatter.
It hadn't taken long for the conversation at Regina's house on the ranch over 'if' Regina was going back to Storybrooke to turn into a 'when' and 'how' they were going back. Regina had already admitted to herself that she had to return and save Emma (for Henry, only for Henry). But she also knew her son, she knew he had spent a substantial amount of time coming up with a number of arguments for her to return with him and she didn't want to rob him of his moment. At least that's what she told herself now, as she closed her eyes and sunk further into the passenger seat. Her shift at driving over for another four hours until they planned to stop, rest and give them all a chance to stretch their legs a bit. Deep down she could admit to herself that a part of her had liked listening to Henry, hearing that he needed her, that Robin needed her… hell after the way she was kicked out of Storybrooke it was nice to hear that her town needed her.
In the end, and thankfully without the debate getting overly heated, they had agreed to leave that night, with Regina taking the first shift so Robin could sleep. That would get them into Storybrooke sometime after midnight two days later. A time of night when hopefully there would be no one watching the town line.
The only other decision that had to be made was what to do with Lainey in Storybrooke. They all agreed that the safest option was to keep her existence a secret. It seemed Gold had told no one of Regina's pregnancy – likely to keep that knowledge to himself for some advantage of his own making – and given as far as they knew he had yet to wake after the Sorcerer's Apprentice had removed the dark curse from his heart, there was no way for him to disclose that information. But they were still going to need some help if they were to be able to provide the assistance that was going to be expected of them in the search for Emma; they needed someone to help look after Alayna.
"I will organise for Tinkerbelle to meet us at the town line," Regina said with a calmness that reflected how thoroughly she had thought this through.
"My men – " Robin began, feeling the need for more 'fire power' at the town line in case of any confrontation.
"Will know nothing of our daughter," Regina interrupted in a voice brooking no argument.
"Regina if she needs protection – " Robin began only to be cut off by Regina.
"I trust Tink, Robin. Out of everyone in Storybrooke I trust that fairy. Tink won't be swayed by talk of heros and villains, good and evil – she will stand by us and has no problem standing up to Blue. The same can't be said for your men." Regina spoke quietly, ensuring there was no venom in her words, and Robin could tell that she had not said it to hurt him, but still he felt the pain of her distrust anyway.
"As you wish," Robin said quietly.
Henry seemed to want to lesson the sting of his mother's words and said, "One Tinkerbelle will be less conspicuous than a group of your men Robin. It's better if no one notices us come into town. We don't know how Lainey will react to magic when she crosses the line." Robin nodded agreeing and Regina wondered why she hadn't thought of that excuse. It's not like she wanted to hurt Robin – this really was about what was best for her daughter.
"Besides, having Tink close will serve two purposes. I need to ensure Blue keeps her distance. With Gold unconscious she is the only one that can sense magic and my biggest worry is that she will sense Alayna's. Tink can watch Alayna for us during the day and by having Tink close to me, Blue will feel like she has eyes on me. It might be enough to keep her at bay. Apart from Tink we tell no one in Storybrooke about Lainey. Agreed?" Regina said.
"Roland?" Robin asked his voice barely a whisper.
"Let's cross that bridge when we come to it," Henry said. Surprising both Regina and Robin and once again sparking Regina's curiousity as to what had transpired between Henry and Robin over the past two years. She could see that their relationship now was turbulent at best. Though it was a far cry from what she had last seen before being forced from Storybrooke.
There were moments at the ranch when she thought she could see anger in Henry's eyes when he looked at Robin, and he oozed resentment towards the thief, but to his credit he never let his anger spill over into harsh words. Henry was courteous if a little cold and Regina couldn't have been more proud of her son. But equally there were times when Henry was most definitely playing peacemaker. In the past two years at times Henry had pushed her so hard to forgive Robin – likely to get his mother back to Storybrooke but still, she could see now that he was trying to take Robin's feelings into account and she was certain some form of truce had been made. Definitely their relationship was better than when she last saw the two together. She almost shuddered as the memories swept over her as she began to doze, in the car, her thoughts about Henry and Robin now morphing with memories of her last night in Storybrooke. Henry had certainly had little consideration for Robin's feelings that night.
Regina saw the scene as if from outside of herself. She had gone to talk to Emma when Marian had revealed herself; embracing Robin in a scene worthy of a Hollywood movie, a scene that instantly broke Regina's heart. She knew what Marian had meant to Robin, his words from earlier that evening playing on a loop in her mind; "I would have walked through hell to be with my Marian again." There was no doubt in Regina's mind that her relationship with Robin was over. Soul mates or not he would never abandon his wife and break up his family, not for anything and certainly not for her. But never did she imagine the events that were about to unfold.
Regina was barely through scolding Emma for her lack of forethought when she moved to leave Granny's, there was nothing there for her any more. Her arm going around Henry's shoulders as they walked to the door when Robin's voice silenced the diner – a tone she had never heard from him before, the coldness, the fierceness in his voice chilled her. She thought back to a late night conversation they had in the Enchanted Forest you're not the only one with a dark past he had confessed.
"You!" he had called unfurling from his wife as Regina turned to face him confused. "It was you all the time." Robin jumped up on a table calling for his Merry Men, "She is the one; she killed our Marian! Seize her!"
Regina felt more than saw Henry step in front of her – her eyes locked on Robin in shock – as he moved instinctively to protect his mother from the dozen or so Merry Men that suddenly stood from their seats at their leader's command. She was frozen, unable to comprehend what was happening. She had killed Robin's wife? But of course she had. Villains, happy endings and all that.
The Merry Men grabbed at Regina, pulling her arms, almost dislocating her shoulder in there anger – some of them had been waiting a year to do this! Finally Robin was making some sense again! Regina was numb to it, still taking in the dramatic change of events. It was when the Merry Men started to push at Henry that she snapped out of her daze to find herself in the middle of a scuffle between the Merry Men and the Charmings'. Who would have thought? Emma was trying to get Henry away from Regina and out of the fight. A move Regina fully supported but Henry was not going anywhere.
"Get away from me," he had screamed at his biological mother. "I'm not letting them take my Mom!" Regina pulled Henry to her.
"Henry," God her voice was shaking, why was her voice shaking? She went to take Henry's hands in hers and realized it wasn't just her voice. Her whole body was trembling. Got she had to get it together! "It's alright. Everything is alright."
"Alright?" Robin had screamed pulling Regina back and getting in her face. "It's alright is it, your Majesty? You're a monster!" He screamed and his men jeered. The sound seemed to snap Robin out of his rage for a moment. He glanced at the scene in the diner – his men, the Charmings, the chaos, before turning back to her speaking more quietly, though his voice still thick with anger. "How could you have done this? All this time," he stared at her, his eyes flicking between her own and she flinched at the hurt, the pain she saw there. Then the blue eyes turned cold as he shook his head, saying softly, "I was stupid to expect more from the Evil Queen." He shoved her roughly away from him, his voice once again raised, as his wife joined him at his side and his arm wound around her waist, twisting the knife his cold expression and harsh words had thrust deep in her heart. But really what did she expect? She is the Evil Queen and to these people she always would be no matter what colour her magic was and who she saved them from and what she sacrificed.
"You should be held accountable for your actions. Why are you not made to pay for your crimes? Why are you permitted to roam free after all you've done?" His words were spoken only to Regina, yet in his anger his voice carried across the diner and whipped the crowd into a near frenzy.
Henry again stepped in front of his mother, and she was once more frozen in her place. Her defences had been stripped bear by this man and she was unable to channel her usual snarky self, unable to seem unaffected, to even think let alone formulate a reply. Her mind was just a jumble of words, monster; Evil Queen; soul mate; I'd walk through hell to be with my Marian again; There he is! The man with the lion tattoo; Maybe it's all about timing? She couldn't think, she couldn't move. Her love, her life slipping through her fingers again, like the smoke of her magic when she lost Henry, like dust of Daniel's crushed heart.
Robin turned toward Marian as Henry stepped through and pushed him in the back. "She saved this town! She saved the life of your son," he raged. Marian looking to Robin confused at this. "She saved you all!" He screamed, turning around so it was clear he addressed everyone in the diner. "She is a HERO!" He turned back to Robin, squaring up against him. "Where is your loyalty?"
"With my wife!" Robin stressed each word and didn't miss Regina flinch, unsure whether it was his words or his tone that brought the reaction but he swallowed down the guilt he felt at causing her pain. She had betrayed him – played him – he was a fool to have believed in her redemption. "My loyalty is with the woman that fiend would have killed! She is no hero."
Mary Margaret came between them then, sending Robin away with his wife and son. "Roland should not be party to this and your wife has been through enough for one day." She had counselled.
Robin saw his wife and son out the door of the diner before turning back to look at Regina, now flanked by Emma, Mary Margaret, David, Tinkerbelle (who looked as though she were about to throw up) and Henry who was hugging her fiercely.
Catching her eyes Robin faltered. All light had been stripped from them and they looked glassy and dead. She looked completely shattered and he realized that he hadn't heard her speak a word since she had tried to convince her son that everything would be alright. Alright? How was any of this alright?
His gaze hardened and he declared looking right in her eyes "stay out of my way, stay away from my wife and stay away from my son, or the next time you see me I will have an arrow pointed at your heart."
What heart? She had wanted to ask him. For at this point her heart was dust in her chest, just as surely as if Robin had removed it and crushed it himself. She barely remembers anything else, except Tink and her damn mirror, and Tuck – God she was going to have to fact that man again, and Robin's wife, Roland. Her heart ached at the thought of a now six year old Roland. Would he still be her little knight or did he hate her? Did he know she had killed his Mom?
She stretched a little in her seat. So glad for the comfort of the BMW she had bought after a couple of weeks at the ranch, when she had become sick of driving Mac's clunking old trucks into town. It was the only significant purchase she had made since moving west. She had abandoned her Mercedes in Boston – not wanting anything that might enable Gold to trace her whereabouts. She knew the SUV was an extravagance she couldn't really justify given she was managing a ranch and she only made the occasional trips into town in it, but she didn't care (and really, had she driven her Benz any further in Storybrooke?). She liked a little luxury and living on the ranch her car was the only thing she had purchased where she could treat herself a little. She had the money – and very little to spend it on – and she was still Regina Mills after all. Just a little more than 24 hours into the journey she was certainly glad for her indulgence – for Henry as well as herself, she thought as she glanced back at him sleeping in more comfort than Charming's truck would have offered.
Regina placed her head in her hands. Feeling the weight of memories on her shoulders.
"Are you alright?" Robin asked. Not taking his eyes from the road, a fact for which she was grateful.
"I'm fine," she replied. Bristling a little as she raised her head once again, her chin up and staring at the road in front of her.
"Regina – " Robin began, but the last thing Regina needed right now was a heart to heart.
"Just drive Outlaw," she replied with snark.
"I just wondered what you were thinking. You seem to have a lot on your mind," Robin said and she knew this tactic of his. He used it often in the Enchanted Forest to get her to open up to him. Catching her in a moment of weakness and gently prodding until she had revealed more of herself to him than she ever intended. Well not this time. This time she was prepared for his incursions and she had no intension of leaving herself open for the attack.
"I suppose I do have a lot on my mind… But actually I was wondering whether your Friar Tuck will spit his greeting at me like he spat his farewell? Whether I should prepare a hot towel in anticipation of his, shall we say, unique form of greeting?" she queried. All innocence and did not fail to notice the furrow that appeared in Robin's brow. Surely his men would have told him? Bragged at how they had risen up against the tyranny that was the Evil Queen? Spitting at her after tossing her from Storybrooke. "And I guess," she continued as Robin stayed silent, "wondering where your Merry Men think you've been these past few days? I doubt they would be overjoyed to hear the Evil Queen they tossed out of Storybrooke was about to be welcomed back with open arms… That their Leader had gone asking forgiveness to ensure her return – even if it was to save the Saviour… I hardly think my reputation is one that suggests I'd be forgiving of the insult I sustained at their hands. Just wondering how the dinner conversation is flowing these days at your camp I guess." She finished under her breath. She could tell she gave Robin something to ponder, which was exactly what she wanted. To get him off her back and have him leave her the hell alone.
As they got out at the next roadhouse to swap their respective seats Robin stopped her, closing the drivers door as she attempted to round it, encroaching on her space so she was pressed against the door and forced to look into his eyes.
"I know much of what happened that night," he said. His voice soft but firm and Regina involuntarily held her breath at their closeness. Damn it he had caught her off guard – again! "Little John revealed much of it the day after – when I'd returned from your house – and over time I thought I'd heard it all." He hand seemed to appear from nowhere as he gently stroked her face, moving to toy with a lock of hair that had escaped from her ponytail as she stared into his eyes. Not knowing what he was trying to convey. "But he never told me Tuck spat at you, or that my men harmed you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I wasn't there when you needed me most. I will not fail you like that again. As for now – my men know where my heart lies and while in the wake of Marian's return they were angry and confused, time has healed their wounds. You have no enemies in my camp. Not now, and certainly not when the existence of our child is made known."
At Regina's sudden look of concern Robin pulled back to allow him to take her hands in his, whispering "whenever you deem it the right time, of course." He looked as though he were about to kiss her but stepped away from her instead with a slight nod that was oh so familiar, his way of telling her he was abiding by her wishes that he not kiss her. His way of torturing her, as he knows how much she wants to kiss him right now...
With his distance Regina finally released her breath. God she used to be better at this. Better at keeping her distance and her head straight… but not with him, never with him. Even in the Enchanted Forest he had been able to get right under her skin.
She turned back around to the car, opening the door and getting in, trying to appear unaffected as Robin opened the passenger's door and climbed in. She inwardly groaned lamenting for the umpteenth time that she had lost the argument that they should take two cars. They needed to return Charming's truck to him but no way was it big enough for the four of them. Unfortunately after two days travel without a break Robin was in no fit state to drive and when pushed Regina reluctantly agreed that it would not be wise to attempt the same feat herself on the journey home. (Home? Was she going home? A large part of her felt as though she had just left the place that had felt most like a home since her childhood).
She couldn't admit that she was merely trying to avoid the torture she faced having to endure two days with Robin in the seat next to her. Though right now she wished she had admitted it and just refused, for this was torture. She started the car and pitied Mac his journey across the country in Charming's truck. He had agreed to drive it over once everything was settled. God who knew when that would be? When she would see him again?
Oh Mac… how was she going to do this without him? She could almost feel him telling her that he was just a phone call away, that he was with her and she smiled as a warmth seemed to spread from her heart right to the tips of her fingers, the ends of her toes. Crazy how much he had come to mean to her in such a short time, how much they had come to mean to each other she thought as her thoughts drifted to their brief goodbye after her talk with Henry and Robin, once their plans were made and she was going to have to start to pack up her things.
Regina had found Mac in the kitchen making a cup of tea for the two of them. He had a sixth sense when it came to her wanting or needing to talk. God she would miss him when she was in Storybrooke! How was she going to manage without his quiet and unwavering support?
"So," Mac began, looking up and catching her eye. "You're heading back East with your boy." Mac spoke with his usual calmness. Like he was asking if she was taking Biscuit out to the back paddock to graze, not like she was leaving him for an indefinite (infinite?) period of time. Not like she was doing the exact thing she had sworn to never do.
"I am." Regina said with some finality, having made her decision and sticking to it. "How did you know?"
Mac smiled, "I knew the day Henry called – and so did you, though you wouldn't admit it." Mac raised his eyebrows as he spoke and held her eyes with a gentle reproach. "You've never let that boy down Regina and you weren't about to now - he needs you."
"But Alayna…" Regina said, letting her voice trial off, taking the cup proffered by Mac and moving to sit at the kitchen bench. Some how feeling lighter just sharing the burden of her worries with Mac.
"Will be fine – you'll protect her. You'll protect both your children." Mac sat next to Regina, his hand over hers silencing her as she began to reply. "Regina I know there are things you haven't told me, things about your life in Storybrooke, things about your past." As a look of apprehension crossed her face Mac quickly added, "and I'm not asking you to tell me now, " he smiled gently, "or ever, if you don't want to. I also know you are still in love with Robin, and from the love sick school boy expression he's been wearing since he got here he's in love with you too. I get that he let you down – in the worst of ways – and whether you can ultimately move on from that is between the two of you. I just want you to know that you and Lainey and anyone else in your life, now or in the future, will always have a home here. And I've always got your back."
Regina all but leapt into Mac's arms. She had never felt such loyalty from anyone in her entire life, devotion that asked nothing in return. With Daniel they had been too young to really know about sticking with each other through thick or thin, though Regina does not question that she could have had that with Daniel, she hadn't actually felt it. And as much as she loved her father and knew he loved her, he had never shown her that kind of loyalty until she had commanded it, as the Evil Queen. And Robin, Robin had stumbled a the first real test of their relationship. Knowing Mac would be there for her no matter what gave her the strength she needed to face what was to come and filled her heart with the most treacherous of all emotions – hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe, at some point down the windy, dark, dusty road that was her life, she would find her happy ending.
"Thank you," she whispered, pulling back and giving Mac a watery smile. "Mac," she paused, thinking. Always fearful that he too would discover something about her that would chase him away. Mac cupped her cheek, a small gesture that calmed her and she could almost feel him speaking to her heart, telling her she could trust him, and she did. "I'm scared they will turn Robin against me – again – he says he wants a second chance, that he will stand by me. That he has learned what living without me is and that there is nothing that will come between us again. But if it happens… if they try and take Alayna from me…" Regina closed her eyes and looked skywards. Trying to keep her tears at bay. It terrified her, what she would, could do if someone tried to take her baby. "You're right, there is much about me you don't know – things you couldn't understand, things…" she took in a shaky breath, talking more softly as she said, "that I don't want you to know about me." Her gaze fell downward and Mac lifted her chin up so that she would look at him.
"It doesn't matter who you were Regina, I know who you are and that's someone I'm proud to call my friend. And someone who is a damn fine mother – always putting her children first. When the time comes, you will make the right decision – for your son and daughter. Of that I have no doubt." Mac said, and there was that unwavering support she was going to miss.
Regina smiled softly into her teacup. Touched and a little embarrassed by Mac's compliment. His words giving her the confidence to softly confess, her smile faltering as she spoke.
"A long time ago I wasn't a very nice person. I hurt so many, used so many to further my own agenda. I know I don't deserve Alayna, but I can't lose her." She looked up into his face again.
"Then don't. Don't let anyone take your daughter from you. Don't let anyone convince you that you're undeserving of your child's love – Lainey needs you. And Henry does too. And if you need me, if you need someone on your side no matter what, you call me. I'll be there before you hang up the phone."
"Thank you," she whispered.
"You're welcome," Mac said pulling her into his side and kissing the side of her head. Sitting in the drivers seat on the last leg of the journey to Storybrooke, Regina felt the warmth of Mac's kiss again, almost as though she was drawing on his strength of mind, his calmness and clear-headedness through that small spot on her temple. As she drove steadily towards the town line she felt as though she were approaching the scene of her final battle. She knew from the first moment of Henry's phone call that at some point it would come to this, being forced to face old adversaries – but for the life of her right now she has no idea who these old adversaries will be. Now that she was here, with her car about to cross the town line and this was all real, she felt that dread pool in the pit of her stomach again, and more so than before, returning to Storybrooke seemed like a terrible idea.