AN: I decided Jess was studying to be a pre-school teacher; it was an idea that stuck with me ever since I saw her in the Pilot. It just seemed to me like something that she would be good at. Also, I got the idea for Jess being interested in Art from the Pilot - in Sam's and her apartment there are paintings scattered around and an easel in the corner of their bedroom. I figured they'd belong to Jess rather than Sam! This section of her diary is before Jess meets Sam - I wanted to establish her as a person in her own right first of all. She will meet Sam in the next chapter.
AN2: Hope you enjoy this chapter :) Reviews are much appreciated :)
29th August 2003 - 8th January 2004
29th August 2003
Dear Diary,
Mom bought me this journal to take with me to college. Something to record all the memories in, she said. Everyone says that university is the best time of your life - I'm so excited to get started but so nervous at the same time. It's like my brain can't decide what to feel!
I can't believe that it's finally here. All the years of dreaming, working hard, applying, planning – I can't believe I'm starting at Stanford (Stanford!) in a couple of days! I've always wanted to be a teacher, ever since I can remember, and now I'm going to college to study Education; it doesn't feel real! This time in four years I might be prepping for the new school year and my very own class of children!
I'm going to miss the girls at the playgroup and the children I worked with. They threw me a party and made me a huge card on my last day. Mandy painted all the children's hands and they finger-painted my card since they can't write yet. I love it; it's so cute! It's definitely coming with me to California. I cried when I left, leaving them all behind, but I've promised myself I'll go back and visit when I can.
It's sad saying goodbye to all my friends too. None of them are going to Stanford; I'm not going to know anyone. Dad says I'll make friends just fine, that everyone will be in the same boat, but it still makes me feel sick just thinking about it! What if nobody likes me? I'm trying to remember what I told the children in the playgroup about just being yourself, but it's hard.
I'm trying to pack the final bits and pieces but I keep getting distracted by things I find in my room, like my high school class photo and year book, my elementary school swimming medals, and the stories I wrote when I was six and wanted to be a librarian. I've even found a couple of those book cards which I made myself and glued into every book in the house. Mom was furious when she'd found out what I'd done; Dad just laughed and said it was cute. I'm really going to miss them.
But for all the goodbyes, I'm looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life. Who knows what's going to happen?! I've got all my enrolment documents in my folder ready for sign-up and orientation, and most of my things are packed up and ready to go. It's sad to see my room practically empty I must admit but it feels good at the same time. This feels like such a big moment: me, student at Stanford, School of Education – my first step towards officially becoming 'Miss Moore', pre-school teacher extraordinaire!
Wish me luck!
Jess
1st September 2003
Dear Diary,
I'm shattered. First day on campus! It's been a whirlwind of a day! I don't really know where to start!
My parents helped me move in all my things into my room; I didn't realise I had so much stuff! I'm sharing with a Drama major, Lotta. She's really nice, kind of loud and outgoing, but that's great. It compensated for my shyness when meeting new people. I'm hoping I'll grow out of this annoying habit whilst here! Lotta helped me unpack and when I got a bit teary after I waved Mom and Dad off she gave me the biggest hug ever which was really nice. She introduced me to her twin brother, Nicolai; he's down the hall from us. I forget what he's studying; there are so many new names and faces!
I love my room. I'm in a block over-looking the far end of the quad so it's a fantastic view of campus. I could people watch out the window for hours, although I guess I won't have time for that! Too much studying and socialising I'm sure! Me and Lotta have decorated our room with posters and pictures, so our little room feels as homey as ever.
Lotta showed me where I needed to register for my courses – I am now officially an Education major at Stanford! I met a couple of coursemates whilst I was waiting in line to register. Everyone seems really friendly. We were taken on a tour of campus. It's massive! We had a quick look around on my interview day but they took us to more places this afternoon – it's huge! I think I'm going to need a map until at least the end of my sophomore year!
There were some induction activities this evening; the School of Ed. had organised a barbeque in the quad which was amazing! I think I ate about ten burgers! Afterwards Lotta dragged me to the karoke bar where we met up with some other students who are on our floor. Whilst I am now deaf, I did get to know our neighbours a little better.
Nicolai, Lotta and I are going into town tomorrow to explore and buy some stationary things before orientation lectures start. So excited to get to know Stanford and Palo Alto!
Bedtime now,
Jess
4th September 2003
Dear Diary,
It was the fair today. The quad was packed even though me and Lotta waited until lunchtime to go down, hoping to miss the rush. Nicolai said we were nuts to wait, (actually, I think 'bat-crap crazy' was the expression he used!) apparently memberships go insanely fast but we did ok. Lotta managed to get the last spot on the drama team; she made me promise to help her practice for her audition for the first production. I said I would, but only if she gets me VIP tickets to every production she's in!
I've joined the swim club and the Art society. I'm so happy that I'm able to carry on with my two favorite hobbies – as well as the course itself, I really wanted to come here because I knew there was a chance I could carry on both my art and swimming. I'd hate to have to give even one of them up after fifteen years!
I've got my first swim trial on Tuesday and the Art society meet on Thursdays. I'm so excited to get started! I'd better dust off my Art stuff – I can't even remember where I put them when I unpacked, maybe under the bed…? Not sure what we'll be starting with, but I kind of hope it's painting; it's been too long since I've got my hands on a canvas!
I'm thinking I might try to persuade Lotta to come down to the pool with me in a little while. I can't dive in on Tuesday without some speed and endurance training beforehand…Coach Williams would be disappointed!
Off to splash!
Jess
8th September 2003
Dear Diary,
It was my first day of lectures today and I've already got so much work! We had 101 lectures in Professional Issues, Child Psychology, Safeguarding and the new Learning through Play philosophies and strategies. They were all so interesting; I can't wait to get stuck in. This is what I dreamed of before coming here – learning all the theory behind the methods and practices, learning how to use the research to help me to be the best teacher I can when I get into the classroom.
We've got a ton of reading to do already so I went to the library to pick the key readings up. I was in there for like an hour since I couldn't find the education section – told you I'd need a map! I managed to get all of them but one though which is good. The Learning through Play article looks really interesting; I did quite a bit of research and analysis of this for my final independent study paper in High School, so I think I'm going to start with that one.
Food first though! Can't study without something to snack on!
Jess
9th September 2003
Dear Diary,
Just got back from my first training session and swim trial. It went so well! I was a bit rusty to begin with, (it's been too long since I trained properly) but as the session went on the more it felt just like it used to. The coaches really put me through my paces, but they seemed to like me. I'm aching already though, so I dread to think how I'm going to be feeling in the morning! A soak in the bath is definitely in order tonight I think.
There's an informal gala coming up before competition season and the committee and coaches have provisionally picked me for the mixed freestyle relay and the solo 800m medley. I can't believe it! I'm the only freshman on the relay; Coach Stevens is going to freak out when I tell him!
I must admit I was a bit intimidated by the other relay swimmers at first but they were really welcoming – Todd, Brady and Olivia. They invited me for drinks at the weekend after training. Brady's in his final year studying something to do with finance, I think, and Todd and Olivia are sophomores, hoping to major in Micro-biology. Brady's on the swim committee too; he's helping to put together a training package for us and I can't wait to get started -
Lotta's screaming for me. I'm guessing another spider has attacked her or something! My work is never done! I'd better go!
Jess
11th September 2003
Dear Diary,
I am so glad I joined the Art society. I'm definitely a bit out-of-practice on my drawing and the less said about my sculptures the better, but Chessie was so sweet. She's a mature student majoring in Criminal Psychology. She told me some stories about what they're studying at the moment; it sounds interesting, but I also don't know how she sleeps at night, some of the case studies were kind of disturbing. Her niche is drawing, so she said she'd help me with my perspectives if I'd like.
There's a charity Art gallery and auction in a few months' time and we've been asked if we'd like to donate some pieces. I'd love to be involved so I'm going along to the fundraiser this weekend to find out more. If they allow painting I think I'm going to see if I can get a big canvas from somewhere and get creative. It's been too long!
If I can get my reading for tomorrows lecture finished, I'm gonna to sketch out some ideas before bed.
I spoke to Mom and Dad earlier; they're doing great. Apparently Dad attempted to cook Mom breakfast in bed the other day and almost burnt down the kitchen after he got distracted by a football re-run on cable and forgot about it. Mom said she had to throw out two saucepans and an oven tray because they were beyond saving, and she had to literally wash the walls because the smoke got so bad! I wish I'd been there to see that! Dad's normally a good cook, just not when football's on apparently!
Time for some studying, I think…
Jess
7th October 2003
Dear Diary,
I miss home. Everyone here is so nice and I'm loving all my lectures, but I really want a hug from Mom and Dad. The work-load and assignments are cranking up and the swim training is getting more intense - I'm starting to feel a bit panicky. It's not even that it's too much to deal with; I still have time to go out with Lotta and Nicolai for drinks every now and again, and I went to the movies and dinner just last night with Natalie, Beth and Todd but I just…it seems like forever since I've seen my parents, and I really miss them.
I know it'll pass, just like it did when I went to camp when I was younger, but it's taking all I have not to jump on the next bus out of here. I want to call them, but I'm trying not to; I know I'll end up crying over the phone and I don't want to upset them. It's all so hard.
I need chocolate…
Jess
18th November 2003
Dear Diary,
This assignment is killing me. It's interesting and all, but I think my brain turned to mush about two weeks ago! .Reading! There aren't enough hours in the day. I can't believe it's been so long since I've written in here! All I seem to be doing is working, sleeping and eating right now!
On the plus side, my tutor is busy organizing our placement schools and she said that the school which she's thinking about sending me to is the one she taught in for a few years before she got the lecturing/training job at Stanford. She said it's a brilliant school, with really friendly, helpful staff and a great group of kids; I hope I do get assigned to that school. it sounds great!
Counting down the days til Thanksgiving. As soon as this assignment is handed in I'm travelling back home. I'm so excited! Mom told me the other day than Grammy and Pappy are coming this year. I can't wait to see them!
All I've got to do between now and then is finish this darn essay.
Help me!
Jess
27th November 2003
Dear Diary
My Thanksgiving 2003: I am thankful I survived my assignments and was able to come home for the holiday weekend. I am thankful for my family and friends. I am thankful for all the fun times I've had at college so far. I hope there are many more to come!
It's so great to be home and spending time with Mom, Dad, Grammy and Pappy. Not having to think about research, reading and assignments has been really nice too! It's been a typical Thanksgiving – good food, good company, good fun, and plenty of lazing around on the couch, playing board games and watching inordinate amounts of TV! If I don't go back to Stanford with square eyes it will be a miracle!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Jess
3rd December 2003
Dear Diary,
My tutor placed me in her old school, just like she promised! I met the children who I'll be working with on placement today. They're adorable. There's eighteen of them and they're little sweethearts. My school mentor is lovely, really helpful. She could tell I was nervous as soon as I walked in the door so she made sure I got stuck right in with the children so I didn't have too much time to panic. I can't say how much that helped! I spent the morning in the reading corner with the beanbags, reading the children stories. The looks on their faces as I told them about princesses and knights and witches reminded me exactly why I chose teaching as a major instead of Art. Melts my heart every time.
When all the children had gone home, she sat me down and talked me through the school policies and procedures – there's so much to remember, and it's so different from Rise and Shine Playgroup! She showed me her planning and evidence files too. I'm going to be helping her with those. I'm so glad I won't have to be doing my own just yet; another year or so before that happens, thank goodness! There's so much paperwork to do; anyone who says teaching is easy is a fool!
So, all in all, it's been a really great day. I'm so looking forward to getting to work with the children, despite still being slightly overwhelmed and terrified about the whole thing!
I've got a couple of sketches to finish before tonight's Art class so I'd better get going.
Scribble-time!
Jess
Note to self – Lotta makes the best cocoa; bribe and/or blackmail her to make it for me every day…
8th January 2004
Dear Diary,
Just flown in from being home for Christmas. It's freezing! Looking forward to spending a few weeks in school with the children though. I've got lots of wintery activities planned. Hope the children enjoy them!
Christmas was really lovely. I always love Christmas. Thanksgiving always seems to fly by so quickly; it's nice to have that little bit longer to really wind down and enjoy relaxing over the Christmas break. As always, we ate far too much, gave each other embarrassing gifts, and baked about a million mince pies. Mom waited to decorate the house until I got back. We always decorate together: me, Mom and Dad. I was sad thinking about them doing it without me, so it was a wonderful surprise to come back to find the decorations still in their boxes. We spent my first evening back putting them all up and dancing around the house to Christmas music like fools! I think that might be my favorite Christmas tradition!
I've brought back a million of Mom's raspberry and white chocolate cookies to bribe Lotta with. With weather like this I'm going to need all the heavenly cocoa I can get my hands on!
Happy New Year!
Jess
Thanks for reading :) Next chapter coming soon - Jess meets Sam for the first time...