AN: Thank you so much for your patience with my erratic updating schedule on this story; I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this new chapter :)

6th September 2004 - 25th January 2005

6th September 2004

Dear Diary,

New term! And the beginning of a new academic year! I can't believe it! So much has changed since I first arrived at Stanford; it's hard to get my head around it all sometimes! I would never have believed it if someone had told this is where I would be now, before I began college. I'm so lucky.

I'm really looking forward to starting my new modules and learning more about teaching and child education, and I know that there are some exciting projects coming up within the Art society and we have several important galas coming up with swimming so I'm going to kept very busy! I have a new placement in addition to keeping up the one I began last year so I'm really excited about that. Sam couldn't stop laughing at me yesterday, which I spent getting all my files and books organised ready to start. He can't really talk though, since he's read practically half of his recommended reading list for this coming year already!

Looking forward to seeing what this new year of college will bring!

Jess

22nd September 2004

Dear Diary,

I feel terrible. Like death warmed up, or whatever the phrase is. I feel like I'm burning up, sweating buckets, but Sam keeps piling the blankets on me to try and stop me from shivering. Can't remember the last time I've been able to keep anything down, so I'm feeling kind of weak and shaky. I can barely get out of bed. I hate this!

Sam's been great though. Making sure I'm as comfortable as possible, keeping my water glass full on the bedside table, feeding me medicine, putting a soothing flannel on my forehead and neck, supporting me against him and holding my hair back when the water and crackers inevitably make a repeat trip. He's too good to me.

Being sick is never fun, and Sam is helping so much, but part of me feels bad for him having to do this. He says he doesn't mind, but it's gross! I'm gross. And grumpy. Doesn't stop him from clearing up after me though, making sure I'm comfortable and keeping me company. He's always here, trying to cheer me up with funny stories or smoothing my tangled hair away from my horrible, sticky face. I can tell he's running himself ragged and I wish he wouldn't, especially not for me. But I must admit, knowing he's here, makes feeling so lousy more bearable. I have the best boyfriend ever.

Feeling a bit woozy from being propped up on the pillows for so long; think I'm going to lie down for a bit til everything stops spinning.

Want to be healthy again…

Jess

30th October 2004

Dear Diary,

I've always known Sam has his quirks, his weird clown phobia for one, but this tops them all. My boyfriend, pre-law student, top of his class, debating champion, doesn't like Hallowe'en. 'Freaks him out' apparently. He wouldn't explain why but he really doesn't like it. I was bundled up on the sofa (I'm nearly all better but still feeling a bit fragile so I'm following Doctor Sam's orders and taking it easy) getting things ready for the children. He was eyeing the bunting I was cutting out and assembling with some serious distrust earlier. I told him it wasn't for the apartment, (it's for the classroom, for the children at the nursery), but he still seemed just as uncomfortable. He just shrugged and changed the subject when I asked him if he believed in ghosts, if he was scared. Maybe he just got told one too many ghost-stories round the campfire when he was younger…

Happy Hallowe'en for tomorrow!

Jess

25th November 2004

Dear Diary,

I think Mom put Sam into a food coma! He's out like a light; I've never seen him eat so much! But it's practically impossible to say no to Mom's cooking so I can't blame him. I don't think I'll want anything more to eat 'til Christmas!

I'm so happy Sam agreed to come to mine for Thanksgiving. He was kind of reluctant when I suggested it; I think he was nervous about spending an extended time with my parents, but they love him. He met them for the first time just before the summer; Dad insisted on meeting him before he agreed to let me move in with him. Sam was terrified. He practically wore a hole in the concrete with all his pacing! I knew he had nothing to worry about though; Mom and Dad set him at ease and were really impressed by him. He even survived Dad grilling him about our relationship; I don't envy him that. It took Sam a while to stop calling them 'Sir' and 'Ma'am' though, but they soon wheedled him out of that habit!

Anyway, the holiday's been great. We got here the night before last. We were so tired from the journey and the assignment push before we left, so yesterday we spent just lounging around the house and prepping food for today. This morning we went for a walk around the neighbourhood. Sam seemed to want to know everything about the town I grew up in, about all the places I played as a child, where I went for my swimming lessons, where I broke my arm falling off the tree swing. He also added a new memory to the town tour when he sneaked us into the Bowing Wood orchard so he could kiss me, away from the prying eyes of little old Mrs. Winters across the street. Turns out he wasn't as sneaky as he thought and Mrs. Winters chased us down the street, brandishing her cane. Who knew she could run so fast with her arthritic hip?! I think I'm going to have to warn Mom before Mrs. Winters corners her about us in the grocery store. Ooops!

Food was still cooking when we got back. Sam offered to lay the table, but Mom wouldn't hear of it since he's our guest. She bundled us into the garden and locked us out. Wouldn't be the first time I've been chivvied out the kitchen like that! But anyway, a simple dawdle around the garden somehow turned into a water fight with the garden hose. I have no idea how it started; I swear it was all Sam's doing. One moment I'm busy asking Sam what he wanted to do for the rest of his visit and the next thing I know I'm being drenched in freezing cold water. I was soaking by the time he'd chased me round the garden a few times! He was laughing the whole time, the sadistic bastard! I tried to wrestle it off him, but I couldn't. Didn't stop me from dumping a bucket of water over his head as he was busy coiling up the hose after his so-called victory. His face was priceless! And I've got to admit, he pulls of the bedraggled look rather well! Mom just rolled her eyes when she called us in for food, hustling us upstairs to get dried off before we sat down. We couldn't stop giggling!

The food was amazing. Mom outdid herself again. She made the full works – turkey, yams, sweet potato, mashed potato, mixed veg., cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie for dessert. Delicious! But the best part was seeing Sam, tucking in, chatting away with my parents, smiling and laughing, good-naturedly arguing with Dad about something or other. I don't know where his family is, or what happened between them, but whatever happens, Sam does have a family. He's a part of my family, a Moore, and he fits in perfectly.

I think I might take Sam to visit 'Rise and Shine' playgroup tomorrow. I'm so excited to see the children again. I bet I won't recognise half of them, they'll have grown so much! I phoned Mandy and she's working afternoon shift tomorrow so we're going down there after lunch. I'm sure Sam will be a hit with the little rascals!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Jess

PS. How could I forget?! – My Thanksgiving 2004: I am thankful for my friends, both old and new. I am thankful for my parents, who have always loved and supported me through everything. I am thankful for all the wonderful opportunities I've had at school and the children I teach. And, most of all, I am thankful for Sam. He comforts me when I cry, shares my joy when I laugh; he's so kind and caring… I love him so much.

25th December 2004

Dear Diary,

I'm home with Mom and Dad again. But this time without Sam. Which sucks. I was really looking forward to our first Christmas together, but it's Christmas Day and I'm here, and Sam's still at Stanford. I feel like a terrible girlfriend for being here instead of at home with Sam. But he packed my bags and locked me out, told me get my butt back here for Christmas Day. He's so stubborn!

He got sick a few days ago so I've been looking after him. I don't think it's the same thing I had, more like the 'flu. He'd been looking peaky for a few days before that but being as stubborn as he is he refused to take it easy, saying he was fine. He practically passed out on me when we were wrapping our Christmas presents. We were sitting opposite each other on the floor surrounded by wrapping paper and sticky tape. I was wrapping Mom's book-ends when Sam slurred out my name and slumped against the sofa; his face was kind of gray, his breathing was really shallow and his eyes were all glazed. I was so scared seeing him like that. I didn't know what to do. I managed to get him onto the sofa, covered him in a blanket and tried to get some water in him. He came round not long after that, apologising of all things! I got him into bed and was doing my best to help him, using every hot water bottle we own to try to ease his aching joints and muscles. He's not the best patient but I don't mind, I wanted to do it, help him get better.

He was improving but still very much not right and there was no way he could travel. So I'd decided to stay with him instead of going back my parents' for Christmas, but Sam had protested this idea. Even going so far to pack my bags and lock me out whilst I was out getting some more honey and lemon for his throat. I was so angry with him, yelling at him through the door, pounding on it as hard as I could. (I think I need to give Lotta or someone a spare key in case he tries something like this again…) But when Sam, who sounded like he was sitting on the other side, explained that he didn't want to ruin my Christmas and he knew how much I'd been looking forward to seeing Mom and Dad, and he didn't want to be one who stopped me from doing that. He begged me to go, said it was what he wanted, he'd be fine. I couldn't refuse his plea, he sounded so earnest and his soft 'please' nearly broke my heart, so said I'd go, but that I'd be ringing all the time and he'd better pick up or else. He laughed at that; he knows I meant it!

He sounded much better on the phone an hour or so ago, and he thanked me for his present. I'd drawn him a cameo of us from that time we went on that boat ride along the river and ate about a gallon of ice cream and chocolate sauce. I found his present earlier; he'd packed it right at the bottom of my bag. It's beautiful – it's a simple silver bracelet with S and J carved along the inside. S and J – I love it!

Mom's given me some home remedies to take back with me for Sam along with his present from them. I know they missed seeing him too.

Early night for me since I'm setting out first thing to be back with Sam. And he'd better let me in or there's going to be trouble. I've told I'm coming and to leave the door unlocked otherwise I'm breaking the damn thing down this time.

Jess

26th December 2004

Dear Diary,

Luckily, I didn't have to break down the door! Sam let me in and I'm happy to say he looks much better. He apologised for locking me out and forcing me to go. I was angry at him for doing that (he needed someone to look after him!) but I understand why he did it. I just wish that he would place more value in his well-being sometimes; he's so kind and special, and I wish he could see just how important he is to me. We just had a lazy evening, curled up on the sofa watching television together. It's only been a few days, but I've missed him so much. Having him close makes me more happy than I can say...and yes, I have turned into a mushy romance novel. Are you listening, Diary? This stays between you and me! I've got to admit though, I loved being spending Christmas with Mom and Dad but, here, with Sam...this feels like home...

Sam's just finishing up in the bathroom so I'd better hurry and get unpacked.

I'm so glad to be back. And so thankful that Sam is well on his well to being fully recovered.

Jess

1st January 2005

Dear Diary,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

There was a party on campus last night... Sam and I met up with Lotta and Nicolai, and Brady and Olivia were there for a while too. It was really fun. We had drinks and snacks, before dancing around the quad like lunatics! Someone got hold of some party-poppers, so me and Sam spent most of the night covered in tiny paper streamers!

We stayed to watch the fireworks which were fantastic. Sam seemed kind of nostalgic watching the fireworks, and it could have been the lighting, but he seemed to have tears in his eyes when I got us both a sparkler each. He gave me the widest smile though, especially when I showed him how to write his name in the air with it. Sometimes I surprised with how many simple, fun traditions are new to Sam, but I'm just glad that he's getting a chance to enjoy the silly little games at college which he didn't seem to get to enjoy when he was a child.

We'd brought a blanket to the party, so Sam and I found a quieter spot to watch the celebrations, Sam's coat wrapped around my shoulders as he hugged me close. It was a cold night, but all I can remember is the warm and cosy feeling of Sam beside me as we greeted the new year. In keeping with tradition, Sam kissed me at midnight, and it was perfect. His hands cradling my face before gently threading through my hair. His breath ghosting over my skin as he pulled back, smiling his secret smile in the light of the bursting fireworks in the sky. The comforting feel of him against me, solid and sure and safe. It was a wonderful night!

2004 will always be the year I met Sam, and for that reason, last year will always hold a very special place in my heart. But seeing what changes have happened for me during 2004, I can't even begin to imagine what amazing things will happen for me and Sam in 2005 and beyond! I'm so excited to find out, with Sam by my side! I've got a feeling it's going to be the best year yet!

Here's to an unforgettable 2005!

Jess

25th January 2005

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was perfect. My 21st and it was the most perfect day ever, thanks to Sam and all my friends. I'm so lucky to have such amazing people in my life!

Sam woke me up with my favorite breakfast in bed, complete with flowers and birthday card. He'd practically written me an essay inside, about how much I mean to him; I was crying before I'd even got half way through. It was so beautiful. I don't what I did to deserve such a sweetheart like my Sam. He laughed as I smiled at him through my happy tears, tenderly kissing them away. He snuggled up with me with his own breakfast, arm around me. Apparently I took too long enjoying my food though as Sam started flicking pieces of granola at me after a while. I swear we'll be finding them across the floor and in the bed for days to come! We spent the morning right there, just us, wrapped up in each other, enjoying each other's company; it was wonderful.

Lotta and Beth took me out shopping in the afternoon which was so much fun. There was a live band near the curio shops and we ended up dancing with them. We weren't even drunk!

The best part of the day though was Sam's surprise when I got back to ours. He'd decorated the apartment with about a million candles and had set the table all fancy, my flowers in the middle. It took my breath away! He cooked us my favorite chicken pasta dish and salad; it was delicious. The way Sam's face lit up when he saw how much I liked the gorgeous food was stunning to see. I can't believe he went to so much effort for me!

Once we'd eaten and we'd cleared away all the plates, Sam led me into the living room. He'd pushed all the furniture aside and had soft music playing. He pulled me closer and twined my fingers in his, his other hand coming to rest on my lower back. I rested my head on his chest, smiling as I could hear his heart beating. It wasn't really dancing, more just swaying together, but it was perfect, just me and Sam in our own little cocoon. I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful birthday.

He seemed embarrassed when he sat me down once the CD had ended, saying that he hadn't been able to get me much since money was tight. I shut him up, crushing my mouth onto his; as if he hadn't made this so unbelievably special already! He pulled out a wooden case, watching me nervously as I cracked it open. He bought me a new set of paintbrushes and he'd carved my name into the handles of each one. I love them – they're really good quality and a gift from Sam so I absolutely can't wait to try them out on my next canvas!

Mom and Dad sent me a necklace with my name on it; it's stunning! Grammy and Pappy sent me some money to spend on whatever I'd like. I'm going to save it for the moment until something special comes up.

It was getting a bit late before I found time to call Mom and Dad. Mom cried over the phone, which set me off! They told how proud they are of the woman I've grown up to be. I can't even begin to say how much those words mean to me, but I am proud to be their daughter and all I am today is because of them and I can never thank them enough for all they've done for me.

When I went back to find Sam, he wasn't in the kitchen like I'd expected. He was standing, angled away from me, staring out the window, phone clutched in his hand, expression tight and sad, almost dejected. I could tell he wasn't with me right then, his mind miles away. He wasn't aware of my presence; he kept glancing down at his cell in his grip. He even dialled a couple of times, but never hit call. I don't why, or who, but he was clearly distracted, sad. I called his name and he jumped. His sad expression was gone in a second, phone quickly pocketed as he turned to face me and scooped me into his arms. He told me it was nothing, before asking me how it felt to be getting old like him. Sam always seems to know what I'm thinking, that I was about to ask if he was alright, if there was anything I could do, but he brushed it off, not wanting to spoil my day. I hugged him tight, feeling him squeeze me back, seeming to seek comfort from me even if I didn't understand what for. After a few minutes he seemed back to his cheerful self, twirling me around and smiling at me, a proper smile, his eyes twinkling. He made us both some cocoa (yes I am a rock and roll 21 year old now, shut up! – I'm going out with Lotta and Nicolai for cocktails later though!) and we had an early night. Sam always makes me feel so special, so loved, like I'm the most important person in his whole world; it blows my mind and kindles my heart, always. A perfect end to a perfect day.

I thank God for all the amazing people in my life, especially Sam. I'm so blessed.

Jess

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Reviews are very much appreciated :)