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Warning!
This is an AU FanFiction, may contain OOC-ness, typos, grammatical errors and be careful with unacceptable topic.
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Dedicated for echi zala
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Ambivalent
By Ashelia Elnora
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For a few days since she went berserk, she had observed how her roommate's behavior began to change. Not that it was bad thing, quite opposite of that actually. Now he wouldn't just roll in the futon to the sideboard but folded it up neatly, not wasting more time than enough inside the bathroom and the scariest thing was he made effort to be polite to her. It wasn't like he was as crude as her, he was actually polite man and had good manner too but that was for the other people but her. She supposed he was still holding grudge against her for fractured his nose the first time they met but really it wasn't her fault if he didn't know the decent distant between man and woman. Like the other days when he suddenly dismissed all the gaps between them and did something that she never imagined could happen so soon in her life.
A dash of red decorated her cheeks when she recalled the indecent incident that took place just three days ago. It was kinda good though, she admitted that much he was an expert in that area while she was a green noob.
Now that wasn't the topic here, she was actually quite concerned with his drastic change in attitude because it was seemed like a cold treatment from him. Was he that mad to her for pulling few his locks out? Oh well, that understandable knowing him treasured his hairs like gold threads. But she had apologized as soon as she was done explained to Ahmed. Ahmed was her best friend so she owed him an explanation first. While for Athrun, she supposed she was always vented her anger on him since he lived with her. They was always bickering over the smallest thing like what food she should make, lamp that should stay on while he slept or her complain about how long he occupied her bathroom. Bantered back and forth, she wasn't realized that he took all her solitude and made her more alive in these past weeks.
Somehow she missed their daily squabble, what he was now just too stiff like there was something stuck on his ass. Darn him! She grumbled during her daily cleaning kitchen station before went home.
"Hey Cagalli! Wanna go to festival tonight?" Ahmed asked out of blue from the kitchen backdoor while Mana snickered quietly at the other side of her and she wasn't sure what Mana laughed at, it was a common thing Ahmed asked her out and there was no hidden meaning in it.
"Festival? You want to go to the Valentine Festival, my honey?" the purple head abruptly peaked in through the kitchen passage. "If that your wish, let this lowly knight escort you princess," Jona fancily blabbed out while waltzed his way into kitchen.
"I'm the one who asked her first! Go pick someone else!" Ahmed butted in.
"What do you mean! My honey is my princess, you have no right to ask her!" Jona replied as revolted as him.
"That's absurd just like your head!"
"How dare you insult my beautiful hair, you… you gel manic!"
Cagalli raised her brow for familiar feedback and where did that usually came from? Oh yeah, her roommate. Surprisingly he and this Jona here had the same priority. She snickered subtly when the sudden brilliant idea landed on her mind.
Pushing both of them apart, "we could go there together, the more the merrier right!" she said obstinately so no one went complaining. "And where's Athrun? He should join in too," she asked for his lack of presence when usually he helped her with kitchen duty so that they could go home faster.
Then unexpectedly Mana's laugh boomed in the kitchen startling three other occupants. One looked sheepish for unknown reason, the other just shrugged it off as if nothing and the last one looked guilty for not considering invited her as well. "Mana, you could join in too," Cagalli asked timidly.
"Nah dear, I'm too old for that kind of thing but thank you for the offer," Mana refused cheerfully and with that she moved to the other room.
"Oh well, it's only the four of us then," Cagalli said, breaking the sudden awkward silence.
"I don't know about Athrun though, he already left awhile ago," Ahmed added.
"What!"
That's how she went home briskly, alone for the first time after few weeks walked home along side with him. She was irritated that he left her without telling her first, not that it was important but they lived together so the least he could do was telling her that he went ahead. Did he purposely do that to avoid her? She supposed it clicked well with his aloofness lately. He surely hadn't forgiven her for their last argument. Damn him! She cursed and vowed to give a long lecture about the bad luck of holding grudge for so long and the goodness of forget and forgive.
"Athrun!" she called as soon as she opened the door of compartment expected him to be there. True to his expectation he was there with a cup of noodle on his hands. The nerve in her head prodded, he wasn't even waited her to eat! And it wasn't like as if they promised to each other but she thought he didn't like instant food.
"Hey," his short, quick and dismissed kind of reply riled her up like no other. So she paced hastily to where he sat and glared down at him with her feet tapping restlessly crossed arms on her chest, a stance that sought out an explanation.
"What?" another short reply. She wasn't going to let him go that easily, he needed to know that she had enough of his cold shoulder. If he was thinking that eventually everything would fall into the right place with his impassiveness then she would slap him into sense that nothing came if there was no effort.
"What's wrong with you?" rather than it came out in harsh and loud voice that reflected her rage, it was actually came in low and disappointed tone. She supposed it might be what she truly felt, for her action never betrayed what she felt.
They stared at each other for few seconds before he gave away and faced another direction instead. She knelt down beside him and swiped the cup noodle in his hands that left few noodles dangling out of his mouth. While he stared back at her in surprise and might be with slight anger there.
"You don't like this, do you?" she raised the cup in her hand but he just avoided her eyes again and slurped the rest of noodles that dangled out of his mouth. Got no answer she slammed down the cup on the table in front of them that made him flinched and mumbled something like "beggar don't have choice".
She was baffled for a moment before a quick understanding pouring in her that he was undergone financial crisis just like any ordinary people. But she guessed it was more like homesickness since he might be raised in wealthy family, look at his shiny cards they were prove enough. She had suspected since their first met that he was no ordinary people, he might be pretended to be like a failure businessman or some spoiled kid on the run but she knew through hesitance he showed at some occasions, he seemed like wanted to hide, wasn't that why he used his cap all the time? Though it might probably he didn't want to be mistaken as a girl or worse as a gay. But then he always had option to cut it, unless he had other reason to keep it that way. He even didn't tell much about himself too aside that he came from another country. But that his story to tell and if he didn't want to share it, who was she demanded him to? But distancing himself also wasn't a right answer.
"Then don't be a beggar!" she said stubbornly while positioned herself leaned against the sideboard like himself, now they were side to side with shoulders barely touching. She caught a little snort came from him but chose to ignore it. "If one work wasn't enough then try two. I'm myself also have two jobs and when the valentine celebration ended and the restaurant lost most of its customers, I might as well get one more job," she pause and looked at him that still avoided her stare, "life is hard, it's a long-life fight and might as well be forever but I can't give up, not that I would lose something if I did but isn't that the scariest thing? A thought that you have nothing to lose."
"I'm sorry," he said softly, "I've burdened you. I'm just…," he messed up his own hair with his right hand, a sign of distress, she noted, "I think I need to go back to wherever I come from just like you said."
She sighed and tightened her posture so she sat cross-legged facing his side. "You want to give up just like that? Or you comeback to face the problem you ran off?" she glared at him, daring him to say something stupid like 'it's the right thing to do'. When she knew what's right and wrong still blur on his mind, he just wanted to run away from one obstacle to another obstacle. He just wanted to go back to his old seal.
"What?!" he gave her surprised look but swiftly turned into suspicious one, "you knew?"
"I knew since we met you're no ordinary people," she said as firmly as before because it seemed he interpreted it differently, but she let him, it might be her chance to know what he ran off from. "I know you come here to hide."
"I…," he mumbled hesitantly, his eyes looked at hers even if only few second until he took a breath like gathering courage to confess and solemnly closed his eyes. "The man, who took me in since I became orphan when I was twelfth, persuades me to do transgender."
She seriously did a tough effort to make her jaw stayed locked on its place, she even bit her lower lip to prevent her said something unnecessary. It was so bizarre to put into her simple minded but Ahmed always said she was the most bizarre girl he ever met. She wasn't sure if that title still applied to her for she had found one in million chances that could happen in somebody's life. Was it related to his true job? But what kind of job that required him to do transgender? Did he want to be Miss Universe? Her idea was getting weirder and weirder.
But actually it was more made sense than he had some genetic error or hormone mishap that impossible to happen for Coordinator. The scientist out there should've known and did something about it before he was born, it would be bad for their ads of 'perfect child' if they just neglected one child in glitch. She just wasn't sure why the man who adopted him would ask something like that?
"That man is one of famous inner-galactic designers and I'm also work for him as a model, an asexual model," he paused only to open his tired eyes, "I'm not only modeled as a men but also as women, changing personality like changing my wardrobes, until I lost myself."
Her heart suddenly felt heavy, partly for the guilty that she had judged him badly and mostly for watching him so beaten right now. He wasn't here for hide but to rediscover himself, to be who he wanted to be. She kept her silence, let him to pour out his doubt.
"I owe him my life but… he asked too much, I just couldn't," his voice faltered at the end, his eyes shadowed with his long fringes which served like curtain to hide himself.
"But you want to go back, right? Even if you stay here you still have doubt about what you wanted to do or who you are. That's why you treasured your hair because it's your way to come back."
"Even if I got back there, I would never be someone I wanted to be!" he replied hastily and raised his voice like he wanted to scream, pressured under obligation and selfish wish. But was it selfish to stay who you truly are? "I'm at lost Cagalli, I don't know what to do. I don't want to comeback but I owe him that much, he took me in when I abandoned, I don't want to abandon him."
"Then don't abandon him," she replied shortly. "Don't hide, don't run, that wouldn't fix your problem either. Tell him what you want, let him to see the real you. You can't hide behind his shadow forever. Doing what he told you to do that would only break you apart. Regret will always come last so don't make one. Take a risk for once, can you?" she said firmly, if he needed a sturdy anchor then she could become one since she seriously didn't know how to comfort someone with sweet persuasive kind of talk.
He turned facing her and his eyes sought to hers no longer hiding behind his tresses. "What if he couldn't understand? What if the real me isn't enough? When I don't even know who I am."
"You're Athrun Zala, aren't you?" she offered him small smile like he had asked a silly question while he remained perplexed. "You see, Athrun, there's no measurement of who you are. You can be whatever you want to be and yet you didn't want to be someone your adopted father dictated you to be. That said enough of who you are."
He locked her eyes and she knew he was searching something resembled doubt in her so she wouldn't give any of it. She trusted him even if she just knew a little of him, she was actually giving him a chance to trust himself more by giving her trust.
"If it's about your debt to your adopted father then you can always repay him once you've became your own man, just show him you can. I'm sure he would be proud of you," she gave him reassurance smile and a slight punch to his side so he could be less tensed.
"Actually I never call him father, he said it makes him look old so he allows us to call his name instead like a brother or friend, a close friend," he smiled softly with far-away look at her and suddenly it made her felt awkward.
"Oh o-okay, if that's the case then I'm sure he would understand, just try it."
"Okay."
Now she was becoming really uncomfortable his eyes still gazed on hers with such deepness she couldn't take but she wouldn't dare to let it go, in case he still doubted himself. But she suddenly remembered her brilliant idea awhile ago, "Oh yeah, do you want to go to valentine festival?"
"Valentine festival? But it's March, isn't it?"
"Yeah, but since fourteenth February is a mourning day of Bloody Valentine War, we decide to held the valentine day at fourteenth March, a day that supposed to be a white day," she explained. "There're many things there and it can be fun if you join in, Ahmed and Jona are there too," she added excitedly since the festival was more like a spring festival in eastern country rather than couple's day.
He involuntarily glared at her when he heard both names and that made her smile faltered a bit, "But if you don't want to, that's fine. I'll bring some souvenirs for you."
He shook his head and smiled at her, "I'll come since it's your treat."
"Wait, what did you mean my treat?"
"You said you'll buy some souvenirs for me," he reprimanded, "Beside I don't have much money now so it's your treat."
"What a gentleman," she grumbled while headed to her compartment's door with him trailed behind her.
"You're no lady so I don't have to worry about that," he bit back cheekily.
"Darn you!"
"You're Cagalli," he added silently with unconscious smile graced his lips.
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***…***
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"Yeah, you can take that too. That are the fresher and better than the rest, I choose it all in my own!" a balding man said proudly and seemed incredibly in good mood today than yesterday.
"Ah thank you, Mr. Seiran, it's the payment I hope you don't raise the price for this," Ahmed said nervously, afraid that he suddenly raised the price because of the better quality they offered. The money Sahib gave to him wouldn't enough if he did, since Sahib's Dine was only ordinary family restaurant so getting first quality on supplies was never priority and only settled on good-enough quality. So the sudden offer like this was quite alarming.
"Nah, it's okay. Take this as a thanks for taking care Jona, he seems happier yesterday," his laughed roared through vast land around them, startling some farmer that harvested the crops.
Athrun snorted faintly, of course yesterday he was happy since he spent his night with his self-proclaimed-other-half though the two weren't alone, there were two guys glared dagger behind his back while he stayed in his ignorant bliss. But watching his father so happy because of his son's happiness, somehow made him contemplated if the man who adopted him also would be happy that he had found his own path. Or he would look at him in disapproving look like his blood-father usually was. Surprisingly he felt envious of Jona, his father really pampered him that made it no wonder he could be so pompous. But despite that they were good people with slight unbearable character.
They got onto the road when they had completed loaded the supplies inside the truck, passing row of rows crops that lined up both sides, made it like they were at the middle of nowhere with the same scenery as long as the eyes could see. So different with the colonies he came from, that only contained rows of building that painted and modeled charmingly but somehow never brought a sense of a beautiful peaceful bliss like this.
"You know, Sahib has said that you and Jona bring lucky to his business. I guess he's right, look at what we get! I'm sure Mana would be thrilled," Ahmed opened up and threw him a smile.
"I suppose though I'm not sure if I'm bring anything, I only did what I did," he replied confused.
Ahmed replied with a laugh, "You haven't realized that there are hordes of girl come to the restaurant daily just to catch a glimpse of you or the raise in delivery order? Thanks for Meer to that."
"Meer? What's she got to do about that?"
"Well, Meer has a blog that's quite famous around here if not more. And well, she sort of put your pictures there and involuntarily served as ads for the restaurant," he elaborated.
"Damn her," he cursed inaudibly, he never thought she would get that fanatic although it was brought good for his work place, he got the feeling that it was the other way around on his part.
"Wait here, I just need to buy something." Ahmed pulled down in front of mart at the town and Athrun wasn't realized that they were out of the farm lands already. He looked around him, identified it as few blocks away from the restaurant. When his sight landed to medium-sized house with quite big garage but it was abandoned.
A loud bump made him averted his attention back to Ahmed, a pack of cigarettes on hand. "What's that building over there? There is no 'sold' sign."
"There is but I guess the wild bushes hide it, it was an abandoned orphanage," he shrugged it off.
"Orphanage? How are the children then?"
"They've grown up and can take care themselves when the orphanage closed."
"Oh." Somewhat it brought back memories about the orphanage he was in though it wasn't shabby looking like that abandoned house. He was quite fortunate placed in accommodated orphanage. Some orphanages just weren't that lucky.
When they got back to the restaurant, Cagalli seemed had waiting them. She approached them when Ahmed stopped the truck at the back restaurant.
"Hey Cagalli! Look what we got! The best quality supplies!" Ahmed announced happily.
"Oh o-okay, I would help you unload them. And Athrun there's someone waiting you in the restaurant," she seemed ignored Ahmed and looked at him curiously.
"Me? Who?" he really got bad feeling about this.
"She didn't say her name just ask about you," she shrugged. "Come Ahmed, we need to unload this. Mana needs few tomatoes and chilies."
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***…***
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They ate in silent that night when usually she always had something to banter about. She had actually but she wasn't sure how to bring it up and it seemed that the guy before her in no mood to joke around. So she willed herself to keep quiet although it was against her nature.
To occupy her mind she was thinking back to the blonde girl that came as his guest that noon. She seemed came from rich family with her soft-spoken attitude and well dressed. Many heads turned at her but she regarded it nonchalantly like it was a habit and when Athrun sat with her, they seemed made a perfect balanced masterpiece, a brilliantly fair shine of hers against enigmatically dark sensuality of his. It was no wonder they knew each other, for all she knew the girl purposely came here to pick him up. It seemed fitted well with him that wanted to go back, maybe he called her? Who knew but she never thought it would be this soon. She just thought that he would be stayed here a little longer until he gathered enough money to return but it wasn't seemed going that way. With him gone, she surely would get lonely a little since she had used to his presence and maybe… just maybe he managed to fill the blank spot somewhere in her heart. And she wasn't trying implied anything by that, no, absolutely not.
She shook her head without thinking while eating her curry slowly.
"Cagalli!" he called with a wave of his hand in front of her.
"O-oh wh-what?" she stuttered.
"What are you thinking? I called you numerous times but you just mumbled something incoherent."
Damn, did I say something? Did he hear it? She thought panicky. "U-uh nothing important," she laughed sheepishly, "Why are you calling me?"
He raised an eyebrow that said didn't believe her excuse but not probed her on that. He then looked at her seriously, "I will back to Plants tomorrow."
Oh Plants, so he came from Plants. It suited him, a prince in glass house, she mused absentmindedly.
"Cagalli," he called again.
"U-uh yeah, of course. Just talk to him, I'm sure he would understand," she said encouraged and gave him her usual smile to reassure him. Although her mind wandered in another thought, so he was really going, huh.
He smiled in return and nodded surely, they spent their last night together in quiet silence.
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***…***
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"Ah, you're here already. Welcome home, Alex." A man with wavy black hair that reached his back greeted him as soon as he got inside his workroom. "I'm sorry I can't join you and Rea for dinner. I'm quite busy these days, Fashion Week's coming up and you know that too right?"
"Yes," he replied curtly.
He threw a smile at him as if asking him to loosen up a little, "How about playing chess? It has been a long time since we played it." Then both of them walked to where the chessboard always set up on the table.
For someone who didn't know him enough, might be thinking that the pretty chessboard that placed at the corner of his room only served as a part of decoration since the pieces itself were quite a fortune and that no one ever saw him played it before except his closed ones. It was one of his hobbies actually, that's why he wasn't hesitant to order a crystalline set of chess that craved with careful detail.
Athrun marveled how the set still glittering beautifully even after these years. He reached to the white side of the board while the black haired man took the black one like he always did, he once said that white just wasn't his color. Without being urged more, Athrun started the game with moved his pawn two steps ahead and he followed suit with the same tact.
Time passed and they both had collected the same amount of pieces from both sides although the value of each pieces ranged differently. Athrun wasn't entirely paid the game full attention, half of his mind preoccupied with how he talked to him about his decision he had made. Although that only mattered a little to him, even if he disapproved it, he wasn't going back down that easily and proved him that he could stand on his own legs. While the other part of him still hoped he would understand and accept it like he had welcomed him into his home. But first he thought he should apologize to him for his irresponsible behavior.
"Gilbert," he said seriously after moved his bishop to take his opponent's castle which earned him an amused smile.
"I know what you want to talk about, you've decided, haven't you? That's why you supported new hair style," his eyes glinted knowingly while moving his knight to eat Athrun's bishop.
"I'm sorry," he said regretfully, his eyes downcast, "I don't think I can be someone else other than who I'm now," he said slowly leveling his stare to match the man before him, seeking an understanding.
The game stopped for awhile since Athrun didn't do his turn and that left him to stare back at Athrun. He began to ponder what Gilbert was thinking behind the vacant look he placed on his eyes, he could never guess. Even if Gilbert wasn't someone who used violence in clear action but he could make his delicate stroke so threatening. A talented manipulator that could sway people move as he wished like puppet master, Athrun wondered if he also caught in his bind all this time. He could be a brilliant politician if he wanted to, he mused further.
Gilbert gave off an easy smile, very much identical to the first one he gave to him to loosen up. "Let's say if you can beat me in this game, you may do as you wish. That will make this game more interesting, yes?"
He was bewildered for a second, not believing it was that easy but still nodded nonetheless. Gilbert would never took back what he had said no matter how manipulated he sometimes. So he chose to trust him just like all these years.
They were at the middle of the game where most half of their peons had already taken out so he began assessing his remained peons on board. He uprooted his queen from her nest and moved her on open field near Gilbert's knight but couldn't take it until his next turn. Like any other he always used the queen as a main attack but at the same time unwilling to sacrifice her, it all got something to do with her flexible move.
Gilbert placed his knight in front his king instead while Athrun used his chance to move forward his pawn and had a thought to revive his castle. The battle got intense, both of them lost their skilled peons. Athrun got no more knights while Gilbert lost his queen, he wasn't sure if he got upper-hand by that since Gilbert's knight had checked his king few times. If it wasn't for his queen he would be a dead meat now, surpassing your own teacher was a tough job.
Near the end of their game Athrun saw an opening, he could use his queen to checkmate him while his bishop served as blockade for his king move. But the problematic one was Gilbert's knight, it could take out his queen to stop it. But if he could somehow distracted Gilbert with his pawn that was going to be a castle for one more turn then he could make it. Even though he knew Gilbert wasn't that stupid, he guessed he should let this one chance gone. But he would make sure to take out that annoying knight off the board right after he gained his castle.
But unexpectedly he did what Athrun never expected him to do, he moved his knight to take out the pawn and that left his queen to checkmate him. He looked at him in baffled expression like he couldn't believe his eyes that Gilbert just gave him the chance. What he got from him was a small smile that said him to go ahead but he just continued to stare him.
"I had lost from you the moment you took my queen, Athrun," he said it so softly so naturally like it was the truth. But Athrun knew he was lying, he saw it for unknown reason he chose to relent.
"Checkmate," he said flatly but somehow that didn't bring satisfaction in him knowing that his opponent took pity on him.
He nodded calmly and glanced at digital clock beside the board, "it was already late I guess we should call it night."
Athrun hesitated if he really should leave like this, this wasn't like he anticipated it to be. So he stayed silent on where he stood.
Gracefully Gilbert rose up from his seat as well and patted his shoulder, "what you can do and what you wish to do, those are the things that nobody knows better than you," he paused and gazed at him almost like a father to his son, "I only did what I get to do to protect you."
"What?" he surprised.
"I don't want you or Rea live under stigma, Athrun. I know it gets nasty sometimes, I just wanted to put an end my mistake for involving you two in my mess."
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***…***
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An understanding came in every step he took to get outside his room. Gilbert was also going through the same thing as him before if not a lot more since he stood alone in shit-storm long before he took them in. And there was more than one reason as to why he adopted them aside to fill the gaping hole in his heart. He once loved one woman and still loves her although she gave herself to another man and now had her own little family. Losing an anchor really did change people while gained one, made one felt invincible. Gilbert had fallen to the former, he however, luckily his trip wasn't a vain one.
As soon as he stepped out of the room, a figure of young blonde woman came to his view. It seemed she had waited there for some times, perhaps expected something unexpected happened and yes, it did though not like what he or she anticipated it.
H swiftly closed the door quietly and sauntered to where she stood staring at him, "you haven't slept yet?" he smiled an ease smile to rest her worry.
She shook her head and looked at him with worry still etched on her eyes, "how is it goes?"
"It went well," he smiled assured her as futile as it seemed. "He understands and I'll be back next week after clean up some mess here."
She frowned seemed confused and angry at the same time, "back? What you meant by 'back'? Here is your home."
"Not anymore," he said wistfully, "I've told you right?"
She shook her head again seemed displeased that he was still going to leave for a tiny town with nothing in it, she would never understand him. For her, here was where she belong, beside Gilbert, to continue support him. "I'll take a look Gilbert," she said curtly.
He nodded even if she didn't look at him and already walked pass him. Watching her disappear through the door, the final understanding fell into him. The reason why Gilbert had gave him the chance and his reluctance to sacrifice his knight in their next round. It was the same thing why Rea had traded her Y for another variable, quite literally actually.
He gave off a last serene smile to them behind the door. Who we are was merely our own choosing, blaming someone else or circumstance would never grant us an understanding of what we're seeking.
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***…***
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It was more than two weeks already she's mopping like that. Even so it wasn't apparent through naked eyes but as childhood friend who raised at the same orphanage as her surely had its peak. He saw past her masked hollow exuberance, the light in her smile just didn't reach her eyes. It was like that since her free loader went home to where he belonged to. But unknown to her actually that foreigner called him sometimes ago, asking something that's quite odd. That's why her depressed air moved to him.
Why oh why, it wasn't him that made her felt that kind of feeling when he wasn't around. He was with her longer, he got a lot of chances but in reality it couldn't just decide on one-side effort. Both of them should be willing to give a chance to one another, if not it would only end up as one-sided love, very much like him. He got his chances, yes, but she never saw him past best friend or brother at least. He saw it as clear as day in her honey-colored eyes that reflected her honesty. But did he give up? No, not until yesterday. He knew she had found her missing piece now.
"Ahmed!" that's the goddess call, he thought wordlessly. He would gladly answer her just like how Jona called her but if he called her that, her fist was the one that came to him. Jona was just special on his own way that she couldn't lay a hand on him.
"Sahib ordered you to take some crabs at Caldwell's booth. We're running short on that since Mana's new recipe on spicy crisp crab is quite popular," she explained while helping him unload the supplies he got from Seiran's farm. "I'm coming with you too," she said abruptly.
He looked baffled at her and about to open his mouth to refuse but she just cut in and insisted that he wasn't used to work alone again after that foreigner gone, hence resulted in his sluggish behavior. Ahmed really felt like slapped himself, she could be so dense that put a rock into shame.
He drove the truck on slow speed but still considered as standard speed for he had half-wished that the road before them would never end. Chatting with her during their way to fetch some supplies, he missed it. She was his occasional partner in normal days when the customer wasn't flooded the restaurant. He treasured that kind of moment more than she ever did. But at the mid trip Cagalli suddenly commanded him to stop, when he was too dazed walking in memories line.
"What?" Ahmed said dumbly while looked around him that appeared nothing particular happened. When he looked back at Cagalli, she was already gone, "Cagalli!"
There he found her stood rooted beside the truck while watching a scene before her in utter disbelieve. He watched too but less surprised, he had known he would be back anyway. The blueberry head stood at the front of abandoned orphanage he had asked before with smile engraved on his lips. Ahmed saw he had bought it, what's with all the moving agents that too busy unloaded his belonging to even care that there was a live chick flick being held. He wished he also had something to do to ignore the suspense.
"You idiot!" she yelled between her laugh of joy and expectedly running right into his arms in after wacked him on his head, but still only the hugged part that registered on Ahmed's mind, which he caught her with hint of slight grimaced and relief.
Oh darn! Ahmed cursed mentally for their public display of affection.
Now the love-birds before him murmured something that he couldn't catch because of the distance. He wasn't up for closer inspection while he was already this heavy watching them from this distance but didn't have the heart to yank them apart when she saw him with such longing eyes, he hoped directed to him instead, or how her hand reached tentatively to his short hair like the wind caressing his hair.
Oh dear god! I had enough of this, his poor heart shrieked like a girl in distress. "Cagalli! Come on, we still need to pick up some crabs!" he yelled almost sneered.
At the end he chose to be selfish and tear them apart with duty as his excuse. It was only temporary apart of course, but at least it was enough to stop his heart for lamenting a ballad song. He knew he acted like a sore-loser now but really the soreness was no kidding. She was his first love and he even had already saving to buy a ring to propose her if only she had given him a chance. Now though he could only watch his love shot down before it even bloomed. And through his dead love, her love rose and bloomed beautifully that made him wouldn't dare to rip it.
Ahmed let out a heap sigh as he watched she ran to him with wonderful big smile on her face that lit up matched how her eyes shone brightly after weeks being clouded. He supposed it was fine this way, after all he only wanted to watch that light from her. If Athrun could make her happy more than he ever did, then he would also put his trust in him as well. Rather than acted like a sore-loser, acted like a big brother to her would be way cooler, right? Beside as her brother he could act as protective older brother as much as he wanted.
A smug smirk made its way to his face when he left the glaring blueberry lad in dust.
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***…END OF PART II…***
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AN :
Hahahha… sorry for the last scene but didn't you sometimes wondered what's the side-character thinking during the final shutdown? It might as well my excuse to insert underrated character...hahha XD
Ahh also this fic inspired while I watched a news of asexual model that doing transgender. I wasn't judging anything by this fic aside for common life-lesson so don't think too far about it. The title however inspired by crossed-over FFXIII and FFXV's fic so yes folks, I may not own anything… again hahaha XD
Anyway thanks for reading this and to echi zala who left me a review, that's the wind I needed to hail this ship… ahhaha don't you feel like a pirate? XD